Thursday, February 19, 2009

Better than a stick in the eye: Habs lose, sorta.

It looks like it hurts, but it's not as bad as you think.

When is a loss not a loss?

Well, never, actually. A loss is a loss and it fucking sucks. Last night's loss sucked. Unless you want to get into the Tavares/Hedman sweepstakes, losses are never, ever good (and even then, what kind of torture is it to rationalize losses? Tell me Islander fans didn't have some mixed emotions about losing to the Rangers last night.)

However, there are some losses that are more palatable than others. For instance, when your previously dead-man-walking team goes toe-to-toe with the reigning MVP Ovie, the world's scariest defender/rover/goalscoring blueline menace Mike Green, and the rest of the Caps offensive machine, and when your previously maligned "number 1 centre" plays out of his turtleneck, and when your franchise goalie starts to resemble the player drafted fifth overall, not the sieve of the past month, a loss is a little more tolerable.

Of course, the punch in the stomach way they lost still made me unleash a string of expletives on Whats-his-name Steckel and his epileptic ostrich goal celebration. Fucking Steckel. Sounds like the villain in a Vince Vaughan/Will Ferrell movie.

The Sky is Falling: Well, they still lost. They are still in a horrendous slump. They still gave up a lead with less than five minutes to go. Markov and DOOM still looked terrible for most of the night, and there still wasn't much to talk about 5 on 5. Price sucked horribly in the shootout, which at one point was supposed to be automatic points for the Habs. Mad Max did not look like he was playing at Mad Maximum Speed ... perhaps he was gearing up to face old QMJHL enemy Sidney Crosby tonight. I do find it interesting when a game like that out of Max disappoints. That kid has made a tremendous leap, I tells ya, because the game he played was still pretty damn good.

Plan the Parade: Har har de har har. Good one. Still ...

The Caps have only lost 4 times at home this year. They might be the fastest, slickest team in the league, and Ovie, Semin, Backstrom and Green are terrifyingly good. The Habs didn't play intimidated, weathered all sorts of storms, and had a chance to beat one of the top three teams in the East on the road. Price was outstanding for long stretches. Can you imagine what the score would have been if "last week Carey" was in nets? He got beat by a piece of magic from the best player in the world and the tying goal was a deflection he never saw. One game does not indicate that TFS has returned, but it sure is encouraging. Pleks looked like the Canadiens best player ... an inch to the right and his shot off the post is a game winner. Higgins scored. CHRIS HIGGINS. Oh, and Mathieu Schneider made Bob look like a genius for at least one night; 3 power play goals, with Schneider and Markov instrumental in all of them.

No Lap Dances, because if all the rumours are true, all the young guys on this team are partying too much already. Except Josh Gorges, who I believe is working up the courage to ask a girl down to the malt shoppe and just might hold her hand! (You go, tiger!) Provisional Lap Dance* for Bob for the Schneider trade being a smashing opening night success. Provisional Lap Dance* to Kovy improving this team by getting his disruptive dipsy-doodling ass sent home.

Penguins ce soir. More on that later, if 29 can stop talking about Lost.

* Provisional Lap Dances can be revoked, suspended, or turned into Provisional Bricks through the Condo Window at a freakin' moments notice. Hey, we're irrational Habs fans. We love you, but fuck you too, just in case.


Anonymous said...

Love Habs' energy yesternight. Gutted the way they lost but they showed improvement thanks to AK27's absence...end of an era...

Vintage HF29 said...

oh man what an episode last night! did you see that ending?

wait, what?

I once had a provisional lap dance. I provisionally told the dancer I would give her $10 when I provisionally got excited

L Dude said...

A new game for FHFers:

Make your pick.
Win fabulous prizes (not really).
Fame and esteem could be yours.

Which of the following was just told they are playing and which will be watching from the press box?


mr. gillis said...

Speaking of things that look like they hurt but don't really, I had two stunt doubles come to my cinema class today and should us how to kick fake ass. It was pretty cool.

@LD: Let me guess, Breezer sits. Schneider plays. Now what do I win?

My word is "maternom". That makes me think, maybe Kovy is on a two game maternity leave. He's so intense that even as aman he can get preggo and he is so extreme that it only takes four days for the baby to arrive.

Navin Vaswani (@eyebleaf) said...

Price is playing! Should be a doozy.