Last year's 100th Anniversary celebration was a disaster for any number of reasons. What were they? The FHF has no idea and no time to figure it out. What we do have, however, is connections. Connections to hockey brilliance. Connections to a man who has his finger on the pulse of the team, the people, dare we say a nation. Connections to a man who gracefully agreed to help what he thinks are four young, PQ votin', French speakin', descended from the first guys off Champlain's boat bloggin' fools (shhh.) So we present an FHF exclusive: The Bertrand Raymond 110% Pure Laine Awesome Preview!
Overview: The Canadiens are not only The Greatest Franchise in history because they are based in Quebec, but because many of their best players are from Quebec. So it goes without saying that they have a long history of great French Canadien players, and specifically wingers (although I, Bertrand Raymond, like to remind everyone of that as often as possible). From Aurele Joliat to Rocket Richard and then the Flower, Montreal's dynasties have always had a sniper who could converse in the language of the Renaissance. A player who could not only score clutch goals with ease, but would lift the fans out of their seats in so doing. Which brings us to the latest torch-bearer:
Pure Laine Glorious Leader Guillaume Latendresse
Nom: Guillaume Latendresse aka Tenderness aka Gui!
Lieu de naissance: Ste-Cathereine, Quebec!
Strengths: Skating and physical play in front of the net! He's Tomas Holmstrom and Marty St Louis rolled up into one!! Unfortunately, the Habs failed to allow him to properly develop, unfairly forcing him to play an extra year of junior hockey when he clearly should have been delighting his fans in the NHL!!! So what if he could have played in the WJC and won a gold medal during his rookie campaign of '06-07! Settling into the NHL with a plus/minus of -20 just proved what horrible line mates his coaches saddled him with - until Glorious Leader Maxim came along, of course!!! Since then the Pur Laine Glorious 2-Man Line has been the Habs' best!! Gui! and Max! have persevered despite being weighed down last year by that ethnic-with-money pig-dog Tom Kostopolous - only to be replaced this year with an even worse ethnic-with-money in the out-of-shape form of Matt D'Agostini!!! Plus Gui! has a body that Adonis would be jealous of (and lets put to rest those "Bertrand Raymond stares longingly at Gui! in the shower" rumours: they are only kinda sorta true, and only if you take things out of context)!
Weaknesses: Sadly, there is only one Gui! Some believe there is small patch of skin behind his heal that might be vulnerable - but that is only a myth!! Also distracts teammates (and the media) with his georgeous body!! You could grate cheese on those abs! Mmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!