Monday, September 14, 2009

We're number 18! We're number 18!

Oh hello. TMS has been suspended this morning so that we bring you this most important link. TSN has finally gotten to the Habs in their "30 teams in 30 days" series, and I'm sure you'll all be pleased to know that the collective hockey expertise of the " Staff" has our boys as the 18th best team in the league!

Let's see, 18th best means about 9th best in the conference which means, we, uh, don't make the playoffs. Hmmm, maybe we need to rethink this. On the plus side, 18 is a really good number for Jews, so Squid is half-pleased.


orangeman said...

"18" in Korean (Shippal) is almost identical to "Shipbal", which means "shit" or "fuck".

So, yeah. 18.

lawyergirl77 said...

Have you guys seen the pic of Saku in a Ducks jersey.

Doesn't look right. At all. *sniffle*

HabsFan29 said...

@LG77 - as Boone said, "Get over it"

On the other hand, Boone was a fucktard on this point.

Boob Gainey said...

The Saku thing might be age related.

I came of age in the 70's. The Habs for me were that team.

I think if you're younger you see Koivu as the face of the Habs you grew up with.

Don't get me wrong, I like Saku. He always did his best.

But you know what? So did Guy Lafleur.

lawyergirl77 said...

29 - While I (vehemently)disagree with him, he's not a fucktard. I think he's just getting sick of the commentroversy any mention of Saku generates over at I/O.

Then again, the opening of a door could generate a commentroversy over there, so there you go.

Boob - Not a generational thing. Any comparison with Guy Lafleur and Saku is spurious at best (especially on a talent level), but I would say this: Guy Lafleur was NOT trying his best at all times. Saku was.

I will maintain until the end of time that Saku deserved to retire as a Hab and that it's shitty that he won't get that chance.
But, hey, fuck unwavering loyalty in the new NHL.

HabsFan29 said...

@LG - just to be clear, I said he was a fucktard on this point. people (like you!) have a real emotional attachment to Saku, and to tell people to "get over it" is really fucktard-ish imho

lawyergirl77 said...

29 - heh. Fair enough. I personally choose to believe to think that Red figured out how to use the Interwebs and posted that entry as Boone in order to get back at him for the EEEEE mail stuff.

Habsfan10 said...

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!!!!

Did LG77 just cast doubt on any aspect of Guy?!?!?! LG77, do you have the temerity to come onto this site and say that GUY LAFLEUR, THE GOD WHO WALKS AS A MAN HIMSELF, did not play flat out all the time?!!! Why you ... where's my fucking banhammer?!?!?!

Wait. That's probably true. Ah, Guy, you gold-bricking, hungover, smoking between shifts little scamp. Who loves ya? HF10 loves ya, that's who.

Besides, it would have been terribly unfair to the rest of the league for Guy to try all the time. Jeez, the Habs won 4 straight with Guy in third gear.

Ben Dugas said...

I wrote long post outlining why TSN is stupid and how we can't possibly do any worse than we did last year. Now I don't see it and I'm not going to write it again. Damn.

Anyway I think the real question is would Saku have been more or less popular/cool if he had smoked.

too close to toronto said...

for the record, i agree with both LG and 29:

Boone in general - not a fucktard.
Boone re: "get over it" - kinda fucktardish.

i don't know if i'll ever get over seeing saku in a ducks jersey. and i don't know if i am an example of the generational hypothesis or not. i remember the last two cups but my attachment to saku was easily greater than any other hab i grew to love in my lifetime. the only one who came close was possibly roy, pre-1995. i do not remember the habs of the 70s. my only memories of that time were of sesame street and the electric company. and mr. dressup.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Let's be clear here. Gainey is the true fucktard for not offering Saku a contract. What's pissing everyone off (deep down in their subconscious) is not so much that Saku's gone because he'll thrive anywhere, it's that by letting him go without a thought or a care makes the Habs like every other American NHL club out there. Without a heart and without a soul. Saku would've stayed for less, he would've shown up every night and he would've been part of that small honored group that spent their entire career with one club and been proud. Seeing Saku in a Duck shirt is no worse than seeing Larry Robinson as a King. It sucks.

Moey said...

On the Saku issue, Boone was bored and he did it just to stir up the pot. That's his thing. I loved Saku, but I'm looking at it positively for his sake. He finally gets to play on a contender. I'll be wearing two hats this year and I don't care if that makes ME a FUCKTARD.

lawyergirl77 said...

Standing ovation for GG11 for putting it more eloquently than I ever could.

Moey - I'm joining you on the Fucktard squad, cheering for Saku all the way!

(And 10, I'm still laughing about the banhammer. heh. The mental image is priceless... a thousand apologies for bashing Guy!!)

Boob Gainey said...

In the 70's there were not many games that Lafleur wasn't the first star.

I agree that Saku should have retired as a Hab.

Last June.

He can't finish his shifts, takes too many penalties, and is injury prone.

By the way, I can trump Saku in a Ducks jersey. How about Lafleur in a Nordiques jersey?

Moey said...


Picture it, Murphy's Law....Ducks and Habs in the final. Perfect scenario, we'll be happy either way.

Boob Gainey said...

I was looking at the Duck roster

They have a really good team with no big contracts. They'll be very good this year.

GoldenGirl11 said...

The worst part is that Bob did the shoving! Bob! Gainey! Mr. Always-a-Hab! If HE has no heart who does? If the guy who got rid of him was somebody else... anybody else, we could just blame them and get past it but it was Bob! The guy we hated to see as a North Star and then a Star finally came home where he belongs to watch our backs .. and turned into a fucktard. THAT'S what's really pissing me off.

GoldenGirl11 said...

A fucktard is a special variety of retard whose condition arises not from clinically demonstrable neurological impairment, but from buttersnap shitfuckery of the mind.

New house rule, "do as I say not as I do" as in "yes, sweetie, mommy did use the word fucktard in her email but just because she did doesn't mean that you can call your teacher one."

L Dude said...

I'll join Boob in what appears to be the minority and say "See ya later Saku." I won't go so far to say "Don't let the door hit you on your way out, but..." I was a huge fan. Was. I shed a tear and had a lump in my throat the size of an orange when he returned from the Big C. I've been watching the Habs since the 70's and that is my favourite moment. But his time here was up. Let's just say "He'll have a better shot at a cup in Anaheim (or 16 other cities according to TSN).

That was my segway. Is that how you spell segway? I can't find actual data on the interweb, but two years ago did TSN not predict a 10th place finish in the East. Where'd they finish? Oh yeah - FIRST!

Last year, those same hockey gurus said the habs will battle for first in the east and Lord Stanley's mug. They fucking tied Florida for 8th and were embarrassed right the fuck out of the playoffs by the hated Bruins!

So FINE - go ahead! Predict a 9th place finish for the Habs this year. I dare ya! FUCKTARDS...I'm lookin' at you Maguire.

Sergio said...

Hey guys, I've been reading this blog for about a year now...great stuff.

I think it's great the Habs are being pegged as a bubble team. last time that happened we finished 1st in the east. Looking forward to a season where no one thinks we can succeed but us. Ok, maybe not even us. Point being, we crumbled under the massive expectations of the 100 year anniversery and stellar regular season prior. Now everyone assumes we're going to get pushed around and that TFS will go back to huffing gas and nailing 16 year olds. No where to go but up, right? .... RIGHT???

L Dude said...

I wanted to follow up by saying I have a strange feeling of optimism for this team like I haven't felt in years. I certainly didn't feel it this time last year when our big changes were Tanguay (though I was admittedly excited/intrigued by his arrival) and Laraque.

I honestly feel if they can at least split the season series with the Bruins, they have a very good shot at the division title.

I'll miss TK the most, but I hope TM will make us forget Greek Lightning quick enough.

Boob Gainey said...

Last point. As I said I'm a fan, but let's have some perspective.

Saku will not have his number retired by the Habs and he will not be in the Hall of Fame.
I suggest this is entirely due to his injuries. Had he been luckier he would have been a 75pts/season scorer year in year out.

He never gave up but I'll suggest that he wasn't a very good captain. He might have led by example but he didn't lead any other way as far as I can tell. He remained pretty low key during last year's meltdown.

Lafleur played for the 'Diques and Mats Naslund played for the Bruins. Players get traded. It doesn't make the guy who trades them a fucktard.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I disagree. Bob should've offered him something. He should've sat down with him, told him that they're changing direction but if he was willing to take a cut in pay and know that he was not going to be on the first line he could stay. That way Saku could leave knowing that it was his choice. Bob took the same money and gave it to an equally but no more talented midget without Saku's heart. Unless he had spiralled into a undermining slimeball in the room it doesn't make sense. Yes it might have been time for him to go but Bob, the fucktard, could've found a classier way to send off a real hero.

moeman said...

+18 for all the great comments.

I agree Bob should've found a way to keep Saku a Habs for life but methinks, like with Kovy, that the agent maybe had something to do with the miscommunication.

Also agree that Guy in a fucking Nords jersey was blasphemous.

I'll add seeing Ken Dryden as the leaf Prez and Carbo traded to St. Loo for some cat named Jim Montgomery were tough to swallow.

Boob Gainey said...

Bob's job:

1. Win the Stanley Cup.

moeman said...

@ Boob, bien sur in both official languages.

moeman said...

Win a signed Cammi CH (CA?)jersey;

GoldenGirl11 said...

Yes, Bob is out to win the Stanley Cup but Saku was not the reason we have sucked since 93. Putting all of their faith in Brisebois at 4 mil or Price without Huet were bigger shit for brains decisions than keeping Saku at a reduced price and reduced resposibilities. Unless he was a cancer in the room (sorry) he should've been given the choice to walk with his pride in hand. It may not be Bob's job to be nice but you can be tough and be a mensch. Apparently after getting rid of Saku he ran his grandmother down because she couldn't get across the street with her walker fast enough. Fucktard.

J.T. said...

I have to jump in on the "Gainey is NOT a fucktard" side of the pool. I loved Saku Koivu. I really wanted him to retire a Hab. But the thing is, Gainey had to do something. And it had to be something BIG. The status quo hasn't been working, so he had to change radically. It comes down to who you'd dump instead of Saku. Lapierre isn't going anywhere. He's young and cheap and effective in his role. Plekanec is younger, cheaper and healthier than Koivu, and likely to put up at least similar points with decent linemates. So, after the acquisition of Gomez, you've got the fourth-line spot available. Do you put Koivu there? Or move Lapierre there and somehow find the money to pay Koivu 3-4 million to be a second or third-line centre? If you do, who do you cut to make room?

I don't necessarily agree with Gainey's logic here, as I was actually pro Koivu's staying. But I can understand the logic and I think you can't call him a fucktard for trying to make the team better and drag it out of the funky malaise in which it wallowed all through the last year of Koivu's leadership.

HabsFan29 said...

I just want to jump in and say how much fun it's been to read a day-long conversation centered around the word "fucktard". I'm so proud!

HFF33 aka Panger said...

To be clear: not all of FHF thinks the ground Gay Lafleaur walked on was instantly consecrated.


HFF33 aka Panger said...

Oops. I honestly didn't mean to call him "Gay". Thank goodness HF29 constantly reminds everyone of my spelling shortcomings!


GoldenGirl11 said...

1. What I suggested was that Bob SHOULD have offered Saku less money, a fourth line position and a classier exit.

2. I just like typing the work fucktard and if I was planning to have a fifth kid that would be it's name.

moeman said...

Once had a dog and named him a Steve 'The Jerk' Martinesque 'shithead'. anothe rfun name for a pooCH, 'hereboy'.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Cancel that last comment about the fifth kid. Just had a family meeting and #2 has volunteered to take on the name. Looking forward to his bar mitzvah next month when the rabbi calls upon Ya'acov Fucktard to read from the torah. But I digress....

Michael said...

Greetings from sunny Fucktardia! Having a great time, wish you were her.

It is an honour and a privilege to be the subject of so much parry and thrust on FHF. And having been called c---face since high school, it's great to acquire a new pejorative nickname.

While blogging means never having to say you're sorry, I should explain that when some posted a link to the Saku-as-a-Duck photo in the Comments section of Habs I/O, I immediately decided the pic ought to be on our main page.


Just to be annoying ... uh, I mean provcative.

I knew the mere sight of Saku in Anaheim would provoke gnashing of teeth, slugging of Harvey's Bristol Cream from the bottle and doubling up of the Paxil 'script among otherwise rational hockey fans such as my great and good friend the distinguished barristerista.

There had to be some text with it, so why not a Get-over-it admonition sure to twist the undergarments of the aforementioned Koivu Akhba! Taliban.

Hey, this is just Day 2 of training camp. Imagine what a total fucktard I'm going to be in February.

HabsFan29 said...

somehow i feel i am never going to know if that's the real Boone or just an incredible simulation

J.T. said...

@29: It's him. Nobody speaks of LG in those terms except the fuc...I mean, Boone.

BJ said...

Hi. I think I accidentally ended up in your blog but I like it here. You guys are so funny! LOL! My boyfriend (who is NOT my boyfriend anymore cuz he's such a jerk long story) used to get me to watch hockey and it was really fun. I think Saku is so cute. Too bad he had to go to another place. Isn't he from Switzerland? Anyways, is it ok if I say hi sometimes or ask you guys some questions to help me understand what's going on? I do get a little confused sometimes and I'm kinda bored now that the jerk is gone. Thx! Hugs! Bye!

Number31 said...

Price has a new mask! Price has a new mask!

Moey said...


Of all the gin joints in all the towns.......

Habsfan10 said...


December 2, 1995.

Anonymous said...


You have any pictures of said new mask?

Fuck. (had to include that to meet the comment requirements, don't have any links to porn...)