Friday, September 25, 2009

Breezer finally released from Panger's trunk, just in time to say goodbye

Oh Breezer, how we'll miss you. You and FHF have a history, like the skanky girlfriend that just won't go away no matter how much you beg. But now you are finally leaving. And we're sad. Well, maybe not. But as a testament to our love of Breezerpalooza, if not necessarily Breezer himself, we've dug back in the FHF archives to discover an astonishing fact. By my count, we have no less than six different Breezer tags, more than for any other player. They include Brisebois, Baron Von Pylon, Patrice Brisebois, Patrice Brisebois sucks, Trade Brisebois for the movie rights to the Barry Manilow story, and the ever-popular Breezer is still locked in my truck - you just thought you saw him on the ice giving away the puck at the point all night (sic). That's an impressive feat for any hockey player.

We all wanted to say goodbye (well, until he ends up on RDS as a commentator), so each of us have prepared a little something. From me, I just want to highlight some of my fave Breezer posts over the years. I feel everything's already been said which needs to be:

This started it all: Feel The Breeze (-by) or A Breeze Is Blowing or Take A Breezer (man these headlines are too easy)

The E-mail Chain - Patrice Brisebois and my ulcer

Breezer wants you to know he's not a pussy

An Ode to Breezer on the occasion of his 1000th game

Thanks for the memories material Patrice. Bonne chance.

From HF10:
March 8, 2008, just after the Grabovski AWOL bitch incident. Habs beat the Kings, Breezer scores a goal and gets interviewed after the game. I think HF29 was away, because I wrote the Game Day Preview for March 9 versus Anaheim and listed Breezer as a hot Hab to watch:

"Breezer! Scored a goal, played decent, sounded totally happy to play a role as veteran dressing room/frequent press box visitor type. As much as we run the man down, he has been nothing but classy in his return to les Canadiens. Grabs should take a seat beside him every trip and take notes."

We all hated Breezer's fuck-ups, but he always played hard and never did anything stupid or illegal off-ice to embarrass the franchise. For that he deserves credit. I'll still miss booing his inept ass, though.

From Panger:
I would like to remember a baby-faced Breezer, full of promise as a smooth skating pp quarterback on the '90 and '91 WJC - followed by a Cup in 1993. I really would. Then I think that since then, zero cups. And I remember one good season and a fat contract from dumbass Rejean Houle - and the reasons I fantasized about wanting to lock him in my trunk suddenly come flooding back.

From HF4:
If Brisebois' teary goodbye is a reminder of Brett Favre's sobbing adieu in Green Bay, I guess we'll be seeing the Breezer back on the ice by the end of the week, retired again in November and making a triumphant return to the NHL by February.


Boob Gainey said...

Did he really single out Jack Todd in his farewell speech?

Good for him if he did.

We rag on Tremblay, Raymond, Blanchard et al., but Jack Todd was one hell of a bitter old psychotic.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Classy guy that Patrice. I'll miss seeing him at the dermatogists office. My son wanted an autograph (hey you see Red Light at a doctor's office and you'd get an autograph) but when we came back into the waiting area he was gone. When we went to make the follow up appointment the secretary handed us a paper and said that Patrice had left it for my kid. It was very sweet of him to take the time and even sweeter that he didn't ask to use my pen given that I have no idea why he was visiting a dermatologist. I was touched and relieved all at the same time. Good luck Breezer. May you have the speed and accuracy in Nascar that you lacked as an NHL hockey player.

Tom said...

Wasn't there rumours at some point last year that he would be coming back as an assistant coach when he retired?

Imagine all the things he can teach the youngsters!

Brisebois: See how I cleared the puck there by putting it on the opponent's stick? Do that, but have the opposite effect.

Habsfan10 said...


Sorry. Force of habit.

kevincrumbs said...

I liked reading the 1000th game post again and seeing the comments ripping on Komi.

Lukestar said...

Aaaah we'll miss your timely goals...and untimely giveaways.

I reckon it takes a hell of a character to be the whipping boy for the crowd in Montreal for the better part of 16 years and not wind up on the front page of the paper in handcuffs or hanging out with Russian mafia.

He also was an integral part of the last cup run, despite DiPietro's best efforts to steal his sunshine...all the best Breezer, congrats on your release from Panger's trunk!!

Boob Gainey said...

Halak 1.56 Goals against, save% 938.

Price 3.23 Goals against, save% 875.

So who's number one?

cottoneye said...

The Baron Von Pylon tag cracks me up. Let's save it for future Hal Gill posts.

My word verif is mentr, as in: even though he wasn't that good on the ice, off it Breezer was a good mentr for the kids.

Chester said...

Which two did Breezer name in his speech ??

lawyergirl77 said...

Baron Von Pylon IS Hal Gill.

Seriously - I haven't seen a bunch of uniformed pylons that bad since... well... Breezer.
I haven't heard people (okay) me yelling "NOT ON YOUR TEAM ASSHOLE!!" that much since Mutual-Friend-of-Panger-and-LG77, Angry Girl, started yelling it at Breezer when she went to a game a few years ago.


Plus ça change...

Panger, I don't think that your trunk will be empty for long.

GoldenGirl11 said...

If 33 expects to fit Gill in his trunk he's going to have to give up the Ferrari for something more practical. Maybe a 1972 Crown Victoria?

lawyergirl77 said...

GG11 - if Gill gets a little squished in the loading process, I won't object...

(Seriously - PYLON. When I'm actively hoping a player gets injured in order to improve our defence, you know something is wrong...)

dwgs said...

People, people, let's not forget the original Baron von Pylon thebarongoesdown

and Brisebois's there too!

Tom said...

Another note, Brisebois' name is misspelled in the seventh tag.

HabsFan29 said...

@Tom - it was my tribute to Panger. that's my story and i'm sticking to it

Number31 said...

In Brisebois' honour, I will symbolically turn over the puck in the home zone many times which gives my goalie all kinds of problems when I try NHL10.

Moey said...


Give Gill a chance, he was on the ice the last minute of game seven in the Pens/Wings final. He must have been doing something right. From what I've heard he's a shut down stay at home defenseman and he's not physical. Let's wait and see.

Anonymous said...

How on earth did you get that picture?! I LOVE duct tape! Hilarious! And the PANGER license plate! (I probably would've put it on the top of the tailgate but that's just me). It looks awesome. Well done FHF! Keep up the great work... oh ya and the writing is good too.

HabsFan29 said...

@Moey and LG - re Gill, come back tomorrow. I just got the preview from our friends in Pittsburgh and it will explain all.

moeman said...

EVERY time Breezer touCHed the puck I clenCHed. I wouldn't mind seeing rds give him a CHance, he can't be worse than brunet.

moeman said...

Laracque lives.

moeman said...

What $8MUS/per buys ya.

Dennis said...

Please be careful. Breezer could run you over when you're not looking. I think he sees the street better than the ice.

moeman said...

Rile up your bile bags Habs fans, its DOU$HAREK PART 1, interviewed by some smarmy, slimy, assholish Toronto Hockey News head bobbing little person cum troll (I'dve typed fucking midget but I wanted to be careful to not offend the douchecocksucking shrimp doing the job blowing).

Textual recap of 'Part 1';

~ DOU$HAREK's eyes don't move

~ slags Bob Gainey whilst praising 'burkie''s re$pect, vi$ion, pa$$ion

~ committed to winning <--LOLeaf

~ You know.

Hey Mike, you are a fucking douchebag. You are forgotten as a Hab. Go fuck yourself.


WV = sterall, as in DOU$HAREK will be sterall as a leaf, his boys don't swim cuz he's a fucking douchebag

Number31 said...

I like Gill. He's slow, you can always tell where he is, and his stick is longer than any fucking Bruin (what's up with the small players using long sticks too?). But he ain't that bad. I think we're probably luckier to have him as he is now than 3 years ago though. Anyway I think Rhino will have a good year and learn a lot more from him and Mara than from that guy who went to the Team USA Olympic Try Outs--er Leafs.

moeman said...

michel 'lynché' langevin (sporting his darcy tucker half goatee), the fat fuck in the brown blazer with a vertically striped shirt to hide his fatfuckedness, is commenting on goaltending is like don cherry commenting on two many men on this ice, FUCKING EPIC FAIL.

Gino Tomac said...

Wow these bring back memories.

I fucking love you fucking motherfuckers.