Monday, September 28, 2009

The Morning Skate for Monday, September 28th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of advancing to the semi-finals...
  • Habs leave today for three days of horseback riding and praying north of Toronto. Yeehaw!
  • They'll do it withour Little Tits, who was sent down to Hamilton;
  • BGL says the the team is 100 miles ahead of last year's in terms of team spirit. Team spirit counts for something, right? He also says the team talks, the team has fun, and there's a new spirit, unlike last year when the feeling was bad around the team. Was BGL even around the team last year?
  • Many good tidbits in Boone's About Camp II;
  • Leafs lose, with Toskala letting in SEVEN goals (but he'll be better this year, right nation?) and Dou$harek leaving the game with an injury. It's a schadenfreude triple play!
  • El Dandy cut by the Sharks (lap dance to GG11).
Okay kidz this is it. HOCKEY THIS WEEK. Can you fucking believe that? I can't. It seems like it's been forever. We're kicking off the big finale en trois parties of the Pure Laine preview today, but it might be much later in the day, so check back often. Except you Jews, who should be busy with the atoning all day. Put away that iPhone, you're in shul for God's sake.


GoldenGirl11 said...

Put away that iPhone, you're in shul for God's sake.
I'm not checking for Bertrand. Honest. I'm praying online.

L Dude said...

Dave Stubbs has a good 'meet the new Habs' series going (links from Habs I/O). I was reading the Travis Moen bit and found out that he made the NHL with Chicago because:

"He'd impressed the Chicago brass with his brassy lower-body parts.."

A question for the ladies. Is brassy good? I'm considering this procedure.

J.T. said...

@L Dude: Brassy usually implies it's been exposed to the sun too long and changed colour. Could that be an issue for you?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@J.T. and L Dude
or unused. When you don't polish often things tend to get brassy. Maybe he refrained which gave him that extra step on the ice.

L Dude said...

@ JT: Is green bad?

@GG11: You may be on to something here. I best have a chat with Mrs. LD, lest I get too brassy.

Moey said...

@L Dude,

At any rate, if you go ahead with it you'll need to take GG11's advice yesterday and go with the lycra jeans. Comfort could become an issue.

J.T. said...

@L Dude: Green's not bad unless it's spelled "grene" and preceded by "gan."

saskhab said...

I somehow doubt there will be a lot of praying, except by Martin and Gainey saying "dear God, please let this work!" Businesses rent camps like this all the time for corporate retreats.

Komi got hurt? That's good, because if there's one thing we learned about Komi last year, he's much more valuable to a team when he's playing hurt.

BGL is on the team this year? Is Benoit Brunet as well? How many other TV personalities are on this team?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Why do you think Youppi! (aug 24, 2009) is crying? Look what lack of blood supply did to the big owe.

Boob Gainey said...

Is Komi really a douche?

Gainey didn't offer him an extension (which he would have signed) 12-18 months ago. Clearly the Habs were not all that committed to him.

We're a bit like the guy who wouldn't agree to marry his girlfriend until one day she just leaves. And now we're upset and calling her all kinds of names.

L Dude said...

@Boob: YES.

Q said...

Nice to see Jack Todd ripping the Habs on the eve of a new season. For a guy that 'works' 2 days a week, he never strays too far from his "kick'em when they're down" mantra

L Dude said...

Now, let me explain why. First, I believe BG's theory of waiting til the end of the season to negotiate is flawed, so I agree with that point. I believe Komi & Kovy would have each signed here if offered contracts earlier on, even shortly after they were erased in April was still time.

But I'm not sure Bob REALLY wanted any of the FA's back (obviously).

What makes Komi a douche is that he signed with the Leafs.
-I still fully believe there were Olympic promises made in order to lure him to Tronna.
-Komi was a self-proclaimed Habs fan growing up.
-The difference (allegedly) in offers was 500k and he didn't counter the Habs' offer.
-Komi is Lucic's whipping boy and will continue to be ass-raped by him for years to come (when Maguire's not doing that job).

We don't need or WANT a player with these flaws. He can fuck right off. He's a Douche. He's a Fucktard. He is Doucharek!

Montrealiste1 said...

Hockey starts this week... Booze+hockey feat. "Douchness" and the good old rivalry.

I have a feeling that this Thursday night I'll be acting like the local drunk of an early Irish novel.

GoldenGirl11 said...

L Dude
Today on this day of atonement you need to have a cup of coffee, polish the brass off and chillax. Mmmmmm, coffee...

J.T. said...

@Boob: YES. Because, see, a girlfriend isn't a business, and if she is, you've got troubles.

Gainey and the traitor allegedly had a professional relationship. The traitor wanted to sign a couple of years ago when the power was in Gainey's hands, because he realized running around hitting everything in sight and blocking tons of shots would eventually lead to injuries, and there was a good chance he'd be trying to land a contract as a hurt player if he waited. Gainey, for the good of his team, wanted to wait before coughing up the bucks because HE knew the traitor could easily become a liability if he was hurt and didn't want to be stuck with him in that case. See: Last Season.

So when it comes time to sign, Gainey decided to take the chance and offer the traitor a nice contract. The traitor decided to leave Montreal in the dust for whatever Burke offered, Olympics, the captaincy, whatever. Gainey gave him lots of time to sign a contract. The traitor ran to the leafs. Ergo, the traitor is a douche. Now, in a very douchelike manner, he's trying to say "But, Bob didn't love me enough two years ago, so screw him." Douche.

@L Dude: It's pretty tough for McGuire to ass-rape the traitor when he's busy blowing him all the time.

Anonymous said...

"It's pretty tough for McGuire to ass-rape the traitor when he's busy blowing him all the time."

Uncontrollable laughter followed by disgust once the mental image came (the picture not The Douche... damn another mental image)

Word Verification: sheat - as in I hope this season does not turn to

eyebleaf said...

I believe in Vesa Toskala.