Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Add some CHeeze Whiz ~ Caps Game Review and Open Spread

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Talk about a barf-inducing buffet of bland badness, hope we don't all get fucking food poisoning from that fucked-up and wretCHed mess of a meal. Nice cratering (down to 8th!) job CHocula, maybe be a bit more CHreative in the kitCHen next game. Kirk, as the sous CHef, sharpen your coaCHing skills as you may be called up to help polish the run to the Silver Mug. You've been an apprentice long enough. We dined, now let's dash whilst sticking a finger down our collective throats FHFers. Pass the Alka Seltzer as our Habs are heading down South for what could be a James Whizbang CHeezeburger in Paradise or some leftover KetCHup'd Krapt Dinner served chez Le Boucher de Tampa Bay. Until then, enjoy CHef Giada in her kitCHen. She could crush my tomatoes any day.

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L Dude said...

Wow, what a topsy turvy CHristmas for me.
First, I get a bottle of CHeeze Whiz in my stocking. I knew it was some kind of harbinger. Hopefully, JM gives the new kid a big kiss when he greets him in Tampa. If memory serves, CHeeze Whiz adds personality. HEY, WTF is Santa trying to tell ME?!
A little deeper down in my stocking, I find the Jaro Spacek Fall-O-Meter. Fucking thing broke last night. According to the troubleshooting guide, "your device may have exceeded it's power threshold." Whatever that means.
The final item in my stocking was a "1:20 Replica of Montreal Canadiens Coach Jacques Martin". The box says "with real moving parts". I tore open that box and it is a thing of beauty. Carved from rock maple, this little 12" statue has no moving parts. It's perfect. And it kept us very warm when the power went out on Boxing Day.

Thank you baby Jesus. Oh and your father, Santa. I'm a lapsed RC - I can say that shit almost guilt free.

Orangeman said...

Remember a couple of years ago the Sens completely collapsed half way through the season with one of the best scoring lines in recent memory and then got swept out of the first round? Wasn't Chocula coach at the time?

iRiRi - fire JM said...

Today's practice has just been cancelled.


Number31 said...

Yes, because cancelling practice is the answer to everything. Maybe they're taking CHeezWiz out for dinner all day.


Watching the highlights of yesterday's game I saw Varlamov maybe ONCE. What the fuck were they doing all game?!

the Maritimer said...

No practice today. Can anybody in Tampa go check the bowling alleys in the area?

L Dude said...

hey fellow Maritimer:

I think the golf courses might be a better guess. Sunny and a high of 19 °C.

I imagine the women of TB are relieved to hear the Habs' resident purse snatcher is no longer with them. Of course, who knows what antics the Wizard of CHeeze might get up to?
Want an 'out there' naeme for Wiz?
How about CHeshire Cat? "Cheshire Cat?", you say. Follow along.
CHeeze Wiz
*looks up types of cheese
One of the oldest English cheeses, invented during the 12th century. There are three types of Cheshire: White, Red (colored with annatto) and Blue

HabsFan29 said...

I would like to roll around in a tub of cheez whiz with CHef Giada.

that is all

L Dude said...


L Dude said...

29: You just need to convince her that next to tomatoes, CHeeze Whiz is the biggest ingredient in fine Italian cuisine. If you wear your oven mits whilst explaining that, you're as good as in.

Moey said...

I just saw a recipe this morning for broccoli with CHeese sauce and crumbled CHeetos on top. Mmmm, I love CHeetos.

the Maritimer said...

I hope people here are excited for the opportunity to have a new name to play with. As far as the player helping the Habs out of their current Gillis would say: meh.

J.T. has written a great analysis of the Habs problems and what they need to do to get out of it. I don't link stuff but all you know where she is.

the Maritimer said...

I love watching the Spengler Cup tournament. A bunch of hard working journeymen minor pros on 200 X 100 ice, wide open spaces, great fun to watch. Metro currently has two assists against a Czech club team.

A breath of fresh air compared to Chocula's System. Whatever the fuck it is.

Anonymous said...

man flob mckenzie is annoying.

go canada go

moeman said...

blob mackenzie is tolerable, mcsplooge makes it creepy.

Number31 said...

McSplooge has been fucking terrible this whole tourney. I can't believe he has no idea how idiotic he sounds. Plus his homerific call/explanation on Kassian's headshot that deserved everything it got (IIHF rules yo, but this is the kid who got like 30 games for doing something similar in the OHL) was downright embarrassing...

yvresgyros said...

Need to point this to you, good folks, James has his own line of clothing, which seems to require the designer skills of a horny 13 year-old, which in other words means we can all get behind.
It's called WizWear and here it is modeled by the BlackHawks IceGirls:!/photo.php?pid=5655332&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=62329043008&aid=-1&id=765705724&oid=62329043008&fbid=118379820724

Dare I suggest that CHeese Whiz has found his niche market on our island.