Saturday, December 11, 2010

Thank Ya, Thank Ya Very muCH, Fat Elvis has left the building Preview

Are You Lonesome Tonight? If so, grab the significant other, or nearest ovenmitt, some peanut butter and banana sammiCHes, a few pops and plop your self down on the couCH for some exciting 3D action. Little Sister, cut that out and just watCH the game.

Direct from Toronto's Heartbreak Hotel, the ACC aka CBC HQ, our Montréal Canadiens play the All Shooked Up Leafs. Will cherry be wearing a Blue Swede Suit? meh, all I need from Crotch's Corner is A Little Less CONversation.

It's Now or Never ~ Actually the game starts at 7pm, RDS, CBC, BELL TV, Rogers Digital Cable, Shaw Direct, Telus Optik TV and WhaTF!? Videotron? How long before you get some beer glasses Péladeau? BetCHa you're glad the Habs aren't wearing their Jailhouse Rock jerseys.

That's All Right says PleXXXe about last night's loss in Detroit Crock City. Habs are 18-9-2 (6-3-1), leaf 10-14-4 (3-6-1). Viva Las Vegas, bet da mortgage cuz Daddy needs him one of those large screen 3D TVs, oh wait …

Love Me Tender ~ Auld, leaf goalie (TBD).

Suspicious Minds ~ The Goat vs. The Bark. Martin vs. Wilson. Kirk vs. Keith. Habs win.

Don't Be Cruel ~ ACC fans, donate those wawfuls to a food bank, Colby says he prefers you toss filet mignon instead of your cookies.

(You're So $quare) Baby I Don't Care ~ Dou$harek hurt his finger.

Too many waffling leaf blogs to link just one so I'll point you to the most syrupy site where the buttery fanboy beat twit/writer james mirtle pancakes and pours it on, thick.

Return to Sender ~ ya think da Bs will take back Kessposito? da Rangers, Mex?

Can't Help Falling in Love with the Chicken, Eller, Moen.

Hunka, Hunka Burning Love ~ Grabovski, that little bitch is kinda hot. Habs are as good as some free Tutti Frutti meth-laced ice cream. Lots of goodness all mixed up.

Now GYFHG! win this one for the Colonel and There'll Be Peace in the Valley otherwise I'll be Crying in the CHapel if the Habs lose this one.

Baby, Let's Play House! ~ If you enjoyed this post wait until tomorrow when the FHFabulous LG77 is in the building!

Now where's my stash of kerCHiefs?
~ ~ ~
In the ghetT.O.

As the December snow flies
On a cold, blue&white T.O. night
A poor little leaf fan is born
Leaf Nation grows to morn
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

The Tragically Hip did sing
about the Bill Barilko thing
Fifty mehsion Cap
the leaf are still crap
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Pre 68 Keon was great
He had hair and flair
in black and white
Stanley Cup Parade
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

In 93 Wayne Gretzky
slashed Doug Gilmour he
While Kerry did not see
Buffed his lid with glee
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Ken Dryden as President
Got free MLSE rent
But he couldn't bring
Bob Gainey as G.M.
to the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

JFJr he got all the blame
Unlike his Dad he had no fame
Along came belligerent Burke
Yeah it rhymes with pugnacious jerk
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

A Tiger Glassed singer
Raises his middle finger
In a fucking pathetic song
Where the lyrics are wrong
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Should've bought HNICs theme
Your not my Canada's team
In the ratings the Habs are first
Tonight leaf'll be 3 Dimensionally worse
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Champagne and sushi for two
Add a waffle to your Dion boo
Hey Mike Dou$harek
Fuck You
in the ghetT.O.

and don cherry cried

94 comments:

iRiRi said...

Great job, moe!

Going out for dinner so I can't watch. Bummer. Looks like it'll be a goodie!

GYFHG!!

Anonymous said...

That's some truculent camel-toe.

Moey said...

Superb moe except that pic of Burkie almost made me toss my cookies.

moeman said...

Desharnais in. Cue 'On se laisse parler d'amour!"

Number31 said...

Will Desharnais look bigger in 3D or just huggable? I vote huggable.

Number31 said...

Auld Lang Syne in nets. We get to give him 3D noogies!

A Maple Leafs Christmas Carol

Here we come a-waffling
Among the Leafs so blue,
Here we come a-waffling
So far it can't be true...

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


Our waffle cup is made
Hoping Kadri will become
The one to ease the Kessel trade
Before shipping him to Boston

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


We are just daily bloggers
That tweet about the Habs
We are your "loving" neighbours
Hoping Gustavsson gets mad

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


Good Burkie and good Wilson
As you sit by the fire
Pray, think of the opposition
As they wander through the mire

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


We see you have some truculence
Of pugnaciously thick skin,
We hope some of your turbulence
Will knock you out so we can win

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


Call up the Marlies to this house
And crank open a brew,
Fans wallow in their shallow beer,
A Molson67 or two

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


Komisarek loves to pass
Straight up to center ice.
A breakaway! For Cammalleri!
Who says, "That pass was nice!"

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...


God bless the Master of this house,
The Pensioners delight.
All tickets sold despite the fact
This team's a dreadful sight!

See the puck come to you,
And to you your waffles too,
And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
No top draft picks for your New Year...

moeman said...

WOW! N31, that is a nice piece of poetic work!

Steve said...

i cried like Elives when he found out Karate could be a heartbreaker.

FUCK Burka, donut boy, graval, Kommi I suck, and the whole band of delisional Canadians who like the leafs instead of Canada's team the Habs.

Steve said...

Can no one take the boy of the header I feel like a pedophilia every time I tune in.

HabsFan29 said...

outstanding work moe, GG, N31, well everyone around here except me. i do nothing. i finally ended sexy friday 2 minutes ago

waffles ready! GYFH!!

Number31 said...

THROW THE WAFFLE! (In 3D!)

GYFH!

moeman said...

cbc/hnic, trying to make people think these two teams are equals. heh.

Orangeman said...

I believe the Habs will have instant karma after the strong effort they put in the 3rd last night.

fezworth said...

@Steve: Your posts make less sense than a string bikini on an ostrich, but they're highly amusing all the same.

Orangeman said...

@moe: I was thinking about the same thing. I get trying to make them look good, but I love how they showed all the goals the leaf have scored on the Habs, yet none the other way. Small complaint, but that's never stopped me before.

Oh, we're honouring past Leafs. Again. Every single Saturday night. Wonder if the waffle-maker will get his moment.

moeman said...

What a pathetic organization.

lawyergirl77 said...

What's this fucking homecoming douchiness?? The Leaf sucks at ceremonies. their announcer's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Oh for the culver tones of Michel Lacroix...

14 alumni, none having ever won a cup in that jersey. DROP THE PUCK ALREADY!!!

HabsFan29 said...

is this honour mediocrity night?

Orangeman said...

Oh, he had the most Ws for the Leaf in the 80s? Wow. What, 50? 51? I think the goalie for the not yet formed San Jose Sharks had more Ws in the 80s.

lawyergirl77 said...

Fucking auto correct - DULCET tones of Michel Lacroix.

Oh, fine, I'll clap for Wendel. Tough sumnabitch, that guy.

lawyergirl77 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
moeman said...

What a embarrassing organization.

moeman said...

heh, leaf voice guy has to ask the crowd to proudly sing.

Darksyde said...

Heh...had to fly all these old timers in...too cheap to pay for an anthem singer.

moeman said...

Go GSP!

GYFHG!

Number31 said...

Why is everything so fucking awkward at the ACC? They role out the grinders and checkers, Tiger, Wendel, and of course Bower. And now they can't even get the organ grinder to play the whole anthem... Sigh...

THROW THE WAFFLES!

Darksyde said...

Go you fucking Habs, GO!!!!

DROP THE PUCK!!!!

Moey said...

My rum and eggnog couldn't even dull the pain of watching that.

HabsFan29 said...

i'm holding a scotch bottle to one eye and a beer bottle to the other. is that how to get the 3-D?

HabsFan29 said...

oh squid

Orangeman said...

Wow, that was super offside there by the leaf.

Oh Squid.

moeman said...

Freixenet.

moeman said...

Why do hughson and simpson make it sound like the leaf has a decent team?

Orangeman said...

@29: Coke! Also, I've been watching HNIC since 1995. You just need to find the special mushrooms.

Orangeman said...

*I've been watching HNIC in 3D since 1995 is what I meant to say.

HabsFan29 said...

crap

Darksyde said...

DAMMIT

moeman said...

Gross.

Orangeman said...

It's ok, it'll make the inevitable Habs win that much sweeter.

Darksyde said...

Yeah...what Orangeman said....

Number31 said...

This 3D is dull. So is the play-by-play. So was that goal.

Back to RDS. HD > 3D

HabsFan29 said...

i'll go slit my wrists now

Orangeman said...

Get ready Price!

Do the Habs even have a shot yet? Are they going to have one of 'those' games again?

Darksyde said...

Please God...let the Hans find their game tonight...

wv: If the Habs get shut out, I'm a gonna recha my dinner.

PS FUCK FUCK FUCK

Orangeman said...

Oh good, the goons are out and hitting.

moeman said...

hughson and simpson are gleefully happy. Fuckers.

Orangeman said...

Wait, how did the Habs not walk away from that with a PP? Un-fucking-beleivable.

Number31 said...

They gave them 4 for roughing each. ROUGHING?! McArthur should have gotten a misconduct for being a fucking bitch. All Spacek did was bump him, take the puck, shoot on net and ignore him the rest of the shift, then got jumped.

Orangeman said...

"If the Leafs can get a third one here, that'll be a good thing!"

Wow, CBC doesn't even try to hide it anymore, do they?

Number31 said...

Aha! I see the plan. Leafs are hard pressed for wins, refs under orders to not call anything on them. I saw one of them putting a paper away early. So interfere, hold, and slash away. And be stupid, like Colton Orr.

Moey said...

God it's hard to listen to this drivel.

swarkles said...

Fuck it. I'll tape the game and watch the Community Christmas special instead.

Orangeman said...

Yet another painfully obvious non-call on the Leafs on that.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

HabsFan29 said...

you have got to be kidding me

Number31 said...

Seriously?! PK gets a stick to the face right in front of the ref and Halpern gets called...for THAT?!

Orangeman said...

Remember a couple of weeks ago when the Leaf went down by 2 against Nashville and then the refs gave them I think 7 straight PPs in the 2nd until they were winning? Yeah.

I'm not too worried, the Leaf is terrible. Let's just hope the officials fuck off a bit.

Number31 said...

I think I'm more shocked to discover that that was Kaberle's first goal of the season. And Burke wants a first round pick for a guy everyone claims is just as good as Markov?!

lawyergirl77 said...

Fuckitty fuck fuck fucksticks.

If the Habs make my first recap a loss to the Leafs, immature go to the charter airport and BEAT they asses when they get offa the plane.

Steve said...

We should never play an AHL team again, just give them the points and move on

fezworth said...

Watching it in 3D doesn't make the score look any better, that's for sure.

Moey said...

This is almost as bad as my Christmas office party last night. The food was good but one of my coworkers was shit faced before he even got there and he was a total ass the whole night.

lawyergirl77 said...

This game is karma coming back to bite me in the ass for skipping my friend's birthday party. Isn't it??

Number31 said...

I hate office Christmas parties. Mine is next week...

Oh look. Another high stick by Grabovski missed.

HabsFan29 said...

my god this game is terrible

bea/habs/fan said...

couldn't stand watching.
is it bad that i'm now watching Tron to get ready for Tron Legacy on Friday?

Number31 said...

Drink! Every time a ref puts his whistle away on a Leaf infraction. You'll be in an ambulance by the 2nd intermission for sure.

HabsFan29 said...

plexxxe is annoyed. join the club

Number31 said...

Shooting at stupid angles for shits and giggles!

moeman said...

Squid!

HabsFan29 said...

squid!!!

Orangeman said...

"If he (Cherry) was behind the bench he'd breath some life into these guys!"

No, he would get called for too many men and lose the Stanely Cup. Canada's most famous loser.

SQUID!

Number31 said...

Isn't that cute. Pleky back with Cammy. And he didn't miss!

Moey said...

Betcha the Habs come out in the third killing dead things. That seems to be their MO lately.

WV - thummica If the leafs score again I'm gonna start sucking my thummica.

Orangeman said...

What the fuck do the leaf have to do to get a penalty? This is stupid and obvious.

The good news is the Habs have decided to play now.

moeman said...

hum, hotstove doesn't mention the Diques fans trek to milbury's old stomping ground yet they will quote cherry and slag the Habs., hum.

moeman said...

Refs have woken up. Oh wait, its a Habs they 'caught'.

Moey said...

What's irritating about this game is we know the Habs can skate circles around these douchbags but obviously they can't be arsed.

Orangeman said...

A lef penalty. That ref will be disciplined.

Orangeman said...

That was the PP against the League's worst PK.

le sigh.

fezworth said...

We look *completely* disinterested. This is crap.

Number31 said...

Ugh Ugh. Me Phaneuf. Me beat chest with hockey stick and poke dirty pokes at Gionta and Subban. Ugh Ugh. Ref don't care what I do. Ugh Ugh. Drool.

Moey said...

For the love of God, just tie the fucking game so we don't have to listen to these pinheads crowing all night. *sigh*

Orangeman said...

Well that was entertaining at least.

Number31 said...

Seriously, they know how to apply pressure but completely shit themselves when they have to actually score.

Number31 said...

Why even bother pulling the goalie? They suck with 6 players on the ice.

Orangeman said...

My internet died on that ENG. I think it tried to kill itself.

moeman said...

That sucked.

Number31 said...

Now Vancouver is retiring Markus Naslund's number. OK I guess.

lawyergirl77 said...

Now I want GSP to utterly fucking destroy Koscheck. No other result will do.

chris nilan said...

quick pool. you're stuck on an island with 1 man. do you takle McSplooge or Glen Healy?

chris nilan said...

poll not pool. but who would rather be stuck in a pool with?

Number31 said...

@nilan
In a pool: McSplooge looks like he might survive me attempting to drown him. Healy looks like he might sink quickly.

Stuck on an island: Healy's hair jell doesn't look edible. McSplooge may be poisonous. It's a lose-lose situation...

Orangeman said...

@Nilan: I'll happily take either as long as I can bring two of my favourite items. My shotgun and my shovel.

Number31 said...

I couldn't tell if they were retiring Naslund's number or burying it.