Saturday, December 04, 2010

A family-friendly preview for Sharks family day at the Bell


This preview has been rated G, suitable for all audiences.

Sunday, Monday, Habby Days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Habby Days.
Thursday, Friday, Habby Days.
Saturday, What a day,
Groovin' all week with you.


Tell me that song isn't in your head now. Such simpler times, when we had TV theme songs that got stuck in your head. I defy you to name one current TV show that has a theme song that gets stuck in your head. Or one that has a theme song period. Now get off my lawn you young whippersnapper.

But I digress before I even get started. We've got a hockey game to play! At 2 PM no less. That means it's family day at the Bell Centre, when the team encourages families to come out to watch the games. You know, because they have problems selling tickets or something. So for family day, we turn to one of America's all-time favourite families, the Cunninghams, to help set this one up. And please invite your children and grandchildren to read along, for this preview is profanity- and nudity-free!

Waiting in line at Arnolds - as mentioned, 2 PM start at the Bell, and it's on the full CBC. Both teams coming off wins Thursday, the Sharks having shutout the Sens in Ottawa. Habs have played win one - lose one over their last nine, while the Sharks' own mediocrity (3 wins in their last 8) has dropped them to 10th in the West. But in the logjam that is the West clusterfrak, they are also just a mere 3 points out of their division lead, while at the same time being in last place in their division. Nutty! But this is a good team, don't doubt it. This is the teams' only meeting this year.

Sit on it, Sharkie! Your opposing blog is Fear the Fin. They call the Habs "a strong team and a worthy opponent, something the Sharks haven't handled well as of late", then predict the Sharks will win 4-2.

As pure and virtuous as Mrs. C - Lego! Three points in his last 2 games. The Lego-CHicken-DarCHe line is really working for me. Gio has 4 points in 3, and Carey is always good. The Sharks boast one of the best top lines in the league in Heatley-Marleau-Thornton, and Logan Couture (is that your real name?)  had 2 goals against the Sens, and is becoming a Calder candidate.

As bad as some sort of spinoff featuring two of your worst characters, Joanie and CHaCHi - Despite the win one - lose one streak, no individual Hab is really bad these days. Squid has been a bit quiet lately, I'll grant you that. For the Sharks, the goalies who say "Ni!" have been suspect. While Auntie Niemi shut out the Sens, he let in 6 goals in the game before that. And Niittymaki isn't much better, with a 4+ GAA over his last couple of games.

Hobbled like Fonzie crashing into Arnold's Fried Chicken stand - if you started your Friday 5 à 7 early, you may have missed the news that Vodkov is lost for the season. Sigh. The Sharks D is also hobbled, without regulars Demers, Huskins and Wallin. None of them are Andrei Markov though.

Like Chuck Cunnigham who went up to his room at the end of season one never to return - PFK was sent up to the pressbox and we're not sure if he'll ever return. Count Chokula said yesterday he wanted to sleep on it to decide if he'll play. I wonder if Chokula has emotions or facial expressions in his dreams.

Post-game entertainment - enjoying the fact I made it through the whole preview without making a Jump the Sharks joke.

GY*HG! Aayyyyy.

79 comments:

Moey said...

That photoshop job is just too excellent!

Afternoon games suck, it screws up my evening. I might have to watch something Mr. Moey likes, God help me. It's bound to be something educational on the science channel. *slits wrists*

Oh, and it truly sucks about Marky.

Steve said...

lol, I know why PFK is in the press box, Chocula knew Vodkov was shot, so he is having PFK learn to speak Russian, where better to study than the press box.

the Maritimer said...

The afternoon game works out perfect for me. I have to go to Mrs. Maritimer's Christmas party tonight, so I miss nothing.

I may PVR the Laughs/Broons fiasco just to listen to all the whining from Krusty and McLame about the leaf suckitude and watch that when I get home.

Bruins Suck! Leafs Suck Harder! GYFHG!!! Turn those dogfish into lobster bait!!

the Maritimer said...

@GG11, man there is just something not right about Mrs. C's beehive on Perry Pearns' head.

However, Squid looks exactly like Ritchie and Gomez looks ridiculous with hair!

Good job!

Number31 said...

This post has jumped the shark.

Number31 said...

And...I see that Jacques Martin has jumped the shark. Apparently.

Michael R said...

Is that Price's face on the Fonz? I don't recognize him without the stache

Mr. natural said...

@Steve: That's PHucking funny!

@orange:beware I will use "the power of the mind" to meld our psyches together....and then the world will truly fear us!

On the flip side you're right: I'm a tight ass conservative in senior management at a multi billion $ firm and one day will reveal myself to the world!

Drinks will be on me, I'll expense them.

GYFHG!!

Die You PHucktards Die!

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
He will curse the PHucken'Laffs
And will smite the PHuctads fast

Amen

Sorry for the ongoing Christian Blasphemy, drawback of a Catholic childhood.

annabelle43 said...

So is it time to trade for a top tier D-man? Not that I don't think that Jaro 2.0 and Gill are just great................well ok I don't think they are.......oy

Orangeman said...

I waited that whole post to get a jump the shark reference.

Wonderful work again GG11!

@natural: I'm actually a cabinet member of the federal Conservative party and believe Stephen Harper is much too flamboyant and radical. And as a politician I will take your free drinks and still expense them to my account.

I predict the Sharks will jump (see what I did there?) out to a 4 goal lead only to have our Habbies come back and win the whole sheebang 5-4 in OT. You heard it here first kids!

iRiRi said...

That picture!!! Great work, GG!

GYFHG!!!

Mr. natural said...

@orange: Obviously you are once again (still?)on psychedelic drugs and hallucinating, Habbies coming back from a 4 goal deficit?! did I say deficit, please accept my apologies Mr. Minister.

Nice touch, free drinks and expensing them as well...you sound like the venerable FHF, PHucking around here all day while billing clients $250/hr, shit they are probably the firm we keep on retainer.

Oh well...PHuck the Laffs, PHuck the PHucken'Phucktards

GYMFHG!!

Hey how PHucked am I, I just made the best or worst investment of my life, at the Oilers game I bought one of those framed autographed picture of TFS for $250, either it will be worth absolutely nothing or if he takes us to the Holy land (no I do not mean Israel) I will get at least $275 for it thus making it the best return on anything I've put money into for the last three years. That is why my investment advice is to spend it all on booze, drugs, hookers and gambling and yes as the old saying goes, waste whatever is left over.

CHEERS!

Ang said...

GO SHARKS! Oh wait, that's not abiding by the rules by saying the Leafs or Bruins sucks. Okay, Leafs & Bruins sucks! :)

Nice photo. If that song is stuck in my head all day, I know who to hunt down.

May our teams have a good game and the Sharks inconsistency not shine thru today. As to FTF prediction, we would never predict a loss. That's just wrong.

iRiRi said...

PFK scratched again. *SOBS*

bea.habs.fan said...

managed to get all my shit done just in time for the game.
there is something wrong in a world where afternoon games exists.

RDS had a feature on the Darche brothers where Houde says that Mathieu is a feel-good story here in Mtl. he forgot to mention that it was it's all blown-out of proportion by the FRENCH media. not to say that darche isn't deserving of his position, ice-time and recognition but the french media drools over all francophones as much as TSN and HNIC drools over the laffs.

HabsFan29 said...

what time is it? why am i not drunk?

Orangeman said...

@29: the trick is to start the night before and keep it going. Crash around dinner time tonight and wake up Monday morning ready to go. I've perfected this with all those morning games in Korea.

soperman said...

Catchy current TV theme songs?

2 1/2 men is pretty catchy.

This could be a FHF Hall of Fame post.

shut up cole!

iRiRi said...

DarCHe! W/ his brother in the building!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Is it just me or has the crew at RDS really turned up the pre-game montages to 11 this season?

Darche Vader!

HabsFan29 said...

darCHe!

Orangeman said...

Vader!

Thanks ref!

Number31 said...

Darche jumped the shark!

Moey said...

I liked the intro to HNIC today but I turned to Mr. Moey and said, great, they've probably jinxed Price now, because they're evil.

Woot! Vader!

soperman said...

GYFHG!!!!!!!!!!!

bea.habs.fan said...

forgot that the good thing about afternoon games is no Don C on CBC.
although we do have Cole.
i guess there is no such thing as a perfect world.
though a Darche goal in front of his big bro is pretty close

bea.habs.fan said...

saw on HIO that GG's in the building.
doesn't that make it a garanteed win?

soperman said...

Cherry is worse than Cole because Cherry doesn't have to pretend to talk about what is happening on the ice. He brings up his lame i told you so clips

iRiRi said...

@bea - make that a guaranteed blowout!

Orangeman said...

sonofa....

Habs can't see to score on an empty net.

iRiRi said...

Okay, that one's on me. Oops?

bea.habs.fan said...

my apologies.
iRiri, it's all me.
I jinxed us with the GG-is-in-the-building comment

soperman said...

chicken and lego

Orangeman said...

Lego Chicken, looking good.

soperman said...

the shots were 10 to 4? It didn't seem that lobsided.

moeman said...

Groovy work you two kids.

HabsFan29 said...

can someone poke me? im dozing off here

soperman said...

explain why weber is playing and pfk is sitting?

iRiRi said...

Don't worry, guys. Chokula knows what he's doing.

*clears throat*

HabsFan29 said...

so was that our fifth shot?

HabsFan29 said...

PleXXXXXXXXXe!!!

iRiRi said...

PleXXXe!!!

Orangeman said...

PleXXXe!

moeman said...

PleXXXe!!!

habs.fan bea said...

PLEXXXXXXXXs

Number31 said...

Pleky is our Datsyuk. Laugh if you want, but it's true.

soperman said...

i was in the bathroom - what happened? cole sounds sad

iRiRi said...

I wanna see Eller with Squid. Do it, JM.

High Glove Side said...

Is BigTits going zombie on us again?

Number31 said...

Nah. BigTits was hitting things.

soperman said...

big tits needs meat!

iRiRi said...

Remember last time they played San Jose? Could be wrong but I believe they also had a 2-1 heading into the 3rd. Ended 3-2 SHarks. Price pretty much kept them in that game too.
C'mon, Habs. Do it for Price! Do it for the CHildren!

Orangeman said...

Wow, Bob Cold coming alive here with some SJ pressure. That's the most energy I've heard from the geezer in years. There was even a 'holy cow' in there.

HabsFan29 said...

squid!!

iRiRi said...

Squid!!!

Orangeman said...

Nice! I have no idea who that was. Hamr and Squid?

moeman said...

Squid!!!

bea.habs.fan said...

I know Squid got the goal but I'm just in awe of Hamr's play.
way more impressive!

soperman said...

so how many breakaways has hamr had in his career?

GYFHG

Anonymous said...

watch out PK, Hamr has goal lust

Orangeman said...

Just before that Boyd had a bit of a rush and when Cole was done creaming his jeans he said Boyd almost had the place jumpinng. Uh, do you even know where you are? You're mistaking snowy Montreal for sunny California. Put the boy down, CBC.

bea.habs.fan said...

loved the 2 captains facing off on the board.
the disparity in size was hilarious
as was Gio keeping mepinned down

GYFHGGGGG

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

This may be the cleanest hockey game (in terms of penalties) I've ever watched.




Spoke too soon.

Orangeman said...

Love it when they 'let them play' only to call a penalty with under 5 mins left. But I'm sure the Sharks have played perfectly. I seem to remember a similar theme the last two times these teams played. Just sayin`.

soperman said...

@ orange

cole doesn't realize anyone is a habs fan

HabsFan29 said...

bob insists on saying "big thornton". it's pissing me off

moeman said...

bob cold is CHanelling his outer mcsplooge.

HabsFan29 said...

i guess we'll take it. thx Carey

iRiRi said...

Back 2 back wins!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Is it wrong that Price is trying to score? Because I'm having a really hard time stopping myself from loving it.

Good game boys. Way to win one for the kids.

moeman said...

Nice win Habs!

Go Bruins.

soperman said...

dan boyd is the third star - good call

bea said...

1) GGs record remains spotless.
2) Sharks are pretty physical and we stood up well against them.

Phlyers looking less scary suddenly. just hope we don't meet them in the playoffs - let some other team bumped them out (as long as they don't choke like the Boons)

soperman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Number31 said...

Price trying to get the upper-level with those pucks. Off-season job as a baseball pitcher next summer. Rodeo was so last year.

iRiRi said...

Alright, who's up for some afternoon anti-chambre?!

Mr. natural said...

Love that TFS tried to score it was a heads up play, he was sure that even with an icing call there was only time for them to score one goal.

My $250 investment is looking smart now, real smart.

NO! I will not sell it to any of you, not yet anyway HAHAHAHAHA HA Ha ha ha,the world is my oyster.

GO YOU MUTHER PHUCKEN'HABS GO!

Down with Laffs, Go Broons, DIE DIE DIE YOU PHUCKING PHucktards DIE!!!

No seriously I want them to die, no joke.

Notre Pere qui est aux Cieux que ton nom soit sanctifier DIE PHucktards DIE!

Amen

tfediuk said...

Plek's long shit

http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/9250/longshit.jpg

Number31 said...

That's right, tfediuk. He took a big dump on Niemi.