Thursday, December 23, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the Carolina WhalerCanes - Preview and Open Thread


With GG11 still down with the gastro that is ravaging her entire family, and the Habs in desperate need of a dramatic shift in karma, we here at FHF have dug into the archives to whip out an old style stripperriffic preview. That's twice I've used that word this week. Hope you complainers are happy now. Now how does this go again?

Waiting in line details -7 PM start from beautiful downtown Raleigh. Or is it Durham? The game is on old-fashioned TSN that we all get. Maybe McSplooge is busy prepping for the World Juniors and is unavailable. We can dream. As you well know, Habs have lost five of six and are 0-2 on the road trip. The Canes are a respectable 5-3-2 in their last ten, and have won four of five, sitting just outside the bubble in 9th in the East. The Habs won the only meeting so far this year, 7-2. Wait, the Habs once scored 7 goals in a game? I find that hard to believe.

Pay your cover charge to - Caniac Blog in Brazil. No really. It's in Portugese and everything.

Some reading in between lap dances - BR piles on, and  J.T.'s analysis post-Dallas as usual puts the so-called professional analysts to shame.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - birthday boy Scott Gomez has 6 points in his last 4 games. While Squid was pointless in Dallas, he had a 7-game point streak before that.

Skanky Habs to watch - everyone else with a CH on their chest. If we have to pick on someone, we'll go with CHicken. And the defense. Like, all of them.

Hot sexy Canes to watch - old Habs nemesis Cam Ward, while battling some freak eye infection of late, is near the top in some stats, including a .926. Eric Staal was the NHL's third star last week.

Skanky Canes to watch - Chad LaRose pointless in 14.

Not dancing due to too many vodka red bulls - oh Vodkov, wherefore art though? Despite his infection, Cam Ward will start. Jiri I can never spell his name right Tlusty is out with an arm injury. As for the Habs lineup, your guess is as good as mine as to what goes on in Chokula's head. We'll see at 7 PM I guess.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Strip Clubs Raleigh (warning - talking Ashley Madison ad on loading the page) suggests that Capital Cabaret is the place you wanna go. Who am I to argue with Strip Clubs Raleigh. Capital Cabaret does have a lovely wine list.

Let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments

79 comments:

moeman said...

No PFK tonight.

moeman said...

No CHicken tonight.

Number31 said...

JUST WIN A GAME! GYFH!!!!

Also happy birthday to the Mexican.

Boob Gainey said...

Eric Staal put Marky out with a knee on knee, and ruined our season.

Surely some karma ought to be coming his way, the ugly fuck.

Anonymous said...

Noted , Karma out for delivery...

Habsfan10 said...

WHoo-hoooo!!!! Old school stripperiffic preview!! Now the Habs are gonna kill, just like they did back in the old days when we started this ... wait, when did we start this blog again? 2007?

Crap.

Steve said...

Win one for the strippers. Why cant Chocula be a more normal professional coach and have a foot fetish rather than a plyon fetish.

GYFH,

L Dude said...

JM is really harshing my buzz, man. I'm getting a real hate on for ol stoneface. Why not sit Picard? You a Star Trek fan or something? What about Gorges? He had a terrible game. Afraid of being smited? What about one of team Grey Power? One of them could use a break. Let them czech out for a game. NOOOOO. It has to be PK. I think JM is what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

Sitting Chicken, I'm good with. I already had his goal tallied in my head with that 2 on 1 he had with Max, and he just glided away from the net rather than driving with his stick on the ice. Shove a can of beer up your ass and sit on some hot coals for an hour. Maybe I'll like you better then.

Boob Gainey said...

L.Dude

Habs Inside Out is ---->

Moey said...

Let them all sit and just let Ward and Price take shots at each other. This Subban hysteria is gettin' on my nerves. I'm also cranky because I'm getting a nasty cough. Fuck.

boob's a boob said...

@ boob, you own this fucking blog or what?

Moey said...

Did anyone hear the waffle guy on the Team 990 this afternoon? Security pulled him out of the stands & brought him to a private room. The cops came and threw the cuffs on him and brought him downtown. They stripped searched him (WTF, where they looking for more waffles?)and charged him with mischief. I actually felt sorry for the guy even though he's a leaf fan.

iRiRi said...

A repeat of that 7-2 Habs W would be a fucking Christmas miracle. Of course, I'll be content with a good old-fashioned 2-1 Hold-On-For-Dear-Life W. Whatever. Get the 2 points fer chrissakes.

GYFHG.

bea.habs.fan said...

I really only have one thing to say

GYMFHFG

bea.habs.fan said...

actually two things to say.
the reason everyone on this site is getting sick is the stress-inducing system of playing that they have implemented in the last 6 games. It's wrecking havoc on our immune system.

WV: "avoide" I kid you not. finally a relevant WV

Bill 101 said...

GYFHG!!!!!!!!!!!

Best holiday wishes and two points for all fhfers - you make me smile (well, smirk anyway). Let's all get better, rest up, eat, drink, drink some more, and look forward to a successful conclusion to the road trip.

moeman said...

2 free songs at Amazon, Joyeux Noël FHFers.

Use the code GIVEMP3S

moeman said...

Actually $2 you can use on any purchase.

iRiRi said...

W00t! I love free stuff. Tks moe!

@bea - Now that you mention it, bea, I do have a sore throat. I KNEW it was JM's fault!

HabsFan29 said...

are we losing yet?

moeman said...

Apart from a win, all I want for Xmas is for no Cane to take out a Hab or better yet for a Hab to take out a Cane (and not get penalized).

Two minutes in and tsn has already praised Staal, twice.

the Maritimer said...

Yeah, first Saku, then Markov. I just hope that Price comes out of N.C. with no broken parts or they will be fucked for sure.

Number31 said...

Perimeter hockey and practice shots at Ward. Not fun.

moeman said...

ray ferraroar (the same fuck who suggested he'd bash Lapierre's head in) says Gill 'throttled' a Cane, then started his usual hummering of (insert name of team playing the Habs). Is he auditioning for hnic?

HabsFan29 said...

Chokula almost looked perturbed there for a sec

moeman said...

chris fucking lee? Games over.

Number31 said...

Chris Lee strikes again.

HabsFan29 said...

ugh not PleXXXe

Number31 said...

Well fuck. Plekanec is hurt. Chris Lee is reffing. Merry fucking Christmas.

moeman said...

PleXXXe may be OK, ferraroar wipes the drool from his chin.

HabsFan29 said...

well that was a waste of a period

at least we're not losing!

HabsFan29 said...

not good, Carey. well, not good everyone

Number31 said...

Actually that went off Weber's foot...but Hamr, my god, ouate de phoque.

Number31 said...

Good lord, Cammy...OTHER way.

moeman said...

Gio!

HabsFan29 said...

MexiCAN birthday surprise!

moeman said...

Yes I meant Mex!

Number31 said...

Happy Birthday Gomez, signed Real Bad Goal by Ward.

HabsFan29 said...

hey it's almost like we're playing hockey for a change

Number31 said...

Two Hurricanes on Price and he passes right through them to the other blue line. And yet the defense just turns it over and over... Spacek...I can't take this for another year...

Steve said...

plyons I see them everywhere, and I think it all started with the Ladies Olympic team making it respectable

Number31 said...

Swing and a miss there, Spacek...

And now he gets hit from behind into the bar. DIRTY.

moeman said...

Tits.

Could cuthbert be less enthusiassticked?

Number31 said...

Hey they actually scored on the 5 mintes.

iRiRi said...

Turn on the TV and BAM! W00t!

moeman said...

Pickaxe!

HabsFan29 said...

CAPTAIN!!!!

TWO on the PP. i may cry

Number31 said...

Wait, they can go for 3!

Number31 said...

Benoit Brunet is fucking ornery tonight...

Orangeman said...

Have the game on while wrapping gifts, drinking drinks and minding kids. D looks terrible, no surprised. So we're in for 20 mins of hold on for dear life, aren't we?

Moey said...

The D needs a rest, especially Georges and Price has just been ordinary. Not a winning recipe at the moment.

moeman said...

ray ferraroar! is fugly.

moeman said...

heh, chris lee strikes, again.

HabsFan29 said...

Hamr is old and slow

HabsFan29 said...

that's it. kill the ref with a puck

moeman said...

chris lee is a zombie.

moeman said...

All I want for Xmas is for someone to take out staal. I promise to be nice, next year.

Number31 said...

This defence... I don't know how ANY goalie can play properly behind them... Fucking Wonder Twins.

moeman said...

heh, chris lee all excited about making a call, against the Habs.

HabsFan29 said...

please hold on. please hold on. please hold on.

Fishfeet said...

Dammit, seems like Orangeman was right.

moeman said...

heh, like Gio has to respect anything a dirty staal has to say. Go fuck yourself staal.

HabsFan29 said...

that's no dive you pussy canes

iRiRi said...

For heavens sake, please no SHG

HabsFan29 said...

a win! i may cry

moeman said...

Fugly win. Take it. Fuck you staal.

iRiRi said...

2 fucking points!!! Merry CHristmas!!

Number31 said...

Fuck you Staal. Go choke on your eyebrows when you find them. Douche.

I have a migraine tracker for my neurologist. Will she raise an eyebrow when I put the Habs as one of the triggers?

3rd period from HELL. Back to the WJHC for me.

Moey said...

Well I guess Price heard me and stepped up his play, it was the only way we were gonna win this. I need some warm alcohol strictly for medicinal purposes. I think it's gonna be turkey soup for Christmas dinner. (:

Orangeman said...

Thanks Eric Cole!

moeman said...

Cane Coach should talk to Markov and Koivu and then STFU;

And Carolina coach Paul Maurice compared the call to "arresting a telephone pole after a drunk driver hits it."

"I understand why there's an issue here, but there's no way Spacek doesn't know that hit's coming because Cole's chasing him up the ice," Maurice said. "They aren't going in opposite directions. They're going in the same direction. So he's finishing his hit.

"There's no way Erik Cole knows he's going to turn his face to the glass at the very last second," he added. "There's no invitation, 'Dear sir, I'm going to hit you. Would you mind keeping your shoulders square to me so that I don't get a five-minute penalty?"'

Number31 said...

Is Paul Maurice an expert? Did he see the replay?

He does this pretty much after every loss, by the way. Biggest whiner to coach the game. Guess those days in Toronto affected his psyche permanently. The fact Chris Lee was on the ice makes it a miracle it was even called in the first place! (He of the 10 straight powerplays for the Whalercanes and none for the Habs once in a game where Samsonov's GWG was 5-feet offside).

Fishfeet said...

Still, you can't deny that the refs stole the game. There's no way the Habs would've won this without that penalty. I'll take the 2 points, but we can't count on that kind of fluke happening every game, obviously.

The gist of it all is we didn't won because we played better than them.

L Dude said...

Guess I was wrong and JM was right to bench PK. Hamr though. Yikes. Nice pass to Mex though.

Anyway, Happy Holidays to all you FHFers.

LD

Orangeman said...

@Fishfeet: How did the refs 'steal' the game? By calling an obvious penalty that the Habs capitalized on? Are they supposed to feel guilty for taking advantage of opportunities? PP game winning goals don't count? I just don't understand the point.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Fishfeet said...

@Orangeman: I'm just saying, if the Habs need one of their opponent to act like a drooling idiot to win games, they're in for a batch of troubles. Beside that you are right, it's a game of opportunities, and you gotta grab them when they come, no matter its origin. They did, and they won, and the Lord cometh and claimeth that verily, it was fucking awesome.

Merry Christmas all, don't let the bedbugs steal your drinks, or sumthin.

Mr. natural said...

Fishfeet!!? WTF? is that a Kurt Cobain reference?

Exp: when we lost to the PHucktards last game, we played them well, they however capitalized on errors or lackadaisical effort, just like we did through the first two rounds of the playoffs last season.

The more the game evolves the more it's about mistakes or lack thereof.

Merry Christmas (don't give me any of that politically correct "Happy Holidays" bullshit) and a Happy New year to all, whatever your race, creed, colour, religious
belief or sexual orientation (Yes I mean you orangie).

BTW Hal Gill was just in Steve's music and my son, the lunatic, tried to get him on the phone with me for no good reason whatsoever, but Hal was quicker on his feet than on his skates and made his getaway clean.

All the best, Shalom.

Number31 said...

Hockey is really now a game of bounces and luck. It's a comedy of errors. Also how many times did these guys get screwed when obvious penalties weren't called and the other team scored while one of our guys was busy picking a stick out of his ear? Way too many to count. Chris Lee doing something right? There really is such thing as a Christmas miracle, I guess. (I wouldn't know, though).

We should be happy that Gomez didn't feel the need to pass to himself on his goal! Isn't this the first win where the other team scored first? Enough about Maurice and the Divercanes. Lump of coal for the lot of them.

the Maritimer said...

Bob Gainey said after the lockout, when the refs were calling EVERYTHING "it's a game of fouls." So, take advantage if you can.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all FHFer's!