~ Welcome to Hell's KitCHen ~
May we take your fucking coat? Madame you are looking mighty fine tonight. Can't say much about the Mexican sCHmuck accompanying you though. Garçon, quit pinCHing that sweet JWoww! ass and seat our guests at their fucking favourite Meadowlands table. Enjoy the view of the swamp and our Stanley Cup parade parking lot.
Cocktail ~ No Virgins Bloody Mary, served on ice at 7PM by RDS, goes nice with Montréal Steak Spice, try the mouth burning BR horseradish version for an extra $1.01
GAAppetizers ~ RataTFS™ ~ this dish features a nice mixture of winning ingredients; 4 fully ripe shutouts, 14 hot peppery wins, 2.04 gloves of GAA, some salty .932 SV%, sorry no longer served with Herbes de MoustaCHe ~ Deviled Eggs Brodeur, CHoke on one of these New Jersey fart inducing specials, guaranteed to make you feel bloated, add some Sean Avery Hot Sauce for extra fun, served on a bed of sister-in-law cabbage
Soup du Jour ~ Watered down Pea Soup, a blend of Québec's own Pois de Lapierre and Franco-Ontarian CHicken broth, served with a side of Angry Squid rings or dense SaskatCHewan whole wheat Moen rolls
Entrée ~ Jacques' Beef Surprise, CoaCH Martin's every-other-day Special, if you want it rare we serve it well done, sometimes its medium, gillis calls it meh, it comes wrapped in a very delicate pastry that crumbles easily but will also melt in your mouth, tastes even better with a side of sweet CzeCH sausage, we're out of low five frites so have some House of Gio gravy
Dessert ~ Carlo da Cake Bosses' Own No Icing All Butter Cream Devil's Lava Food Cake!, a sampler of New Jersey's best butter cream cakes, made with real oozing butter cream, no icing cuz we use fondant and butter cream, its buttercreamy Cake!
Whine ~ Maison de McSplooge, CHeap Table Wine, a piss yellow, fruity yet loud 2010 Vintage Ripple made from really sour grapes crushed by young Pants!less boys in a cedar hot tub
Ovenmitt O.R. ~ The health inspector says Zach Parise cut him self with a dull kitCHen knife and Dustin fell into the Boydabaisse soup, Vodkov has disappeared into the meat freezer, or the wine cellar, we can't find him
Whilst in New Jersey, 29 recommends, Tony Da Caneca's.
Hot Babes in wheelCHairs allowed, if you wear just your underwear. Or not.
We also sell Kosher Salt.