"The Senators ... just like watching C-Span, except more boring!"
Good lord, it's the Senators. Well, let's get this shit over with. The vanilla Sens and their fans are the yearly physical of the Habs schedule: dull, predictable, possibility of being violated in a professional and boring manner. Let's get this done and move on.
Paint Drying: Tonight, at the Bell Centre at 7:30. Habs winners of two straight, Sens are 3-6-1 in their last 10. These teams have already played 3 times this year and still have (checks schedule) good God, three more meetings including tonight.
Grass Growing: Random Sens assembly-line winger Chris Kelly had a hat-trick last game. Whoop-de-doo. Quiet Swede Captain Daniel Alfredsson is still around. With the annual "we hate Dany Heatley" game out of the way, Sens are not-so-boldly wandering in the wilderness of the bottom half of the Eastern standings. Even their most intriguing celebrity couple is the nicely cute and quiet Mike and Carrie. Jesus, even Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie send each other naughty texts.
Christmas Party at the Accounting Firm: Habs are winning the Chocula way, with stifling defence, great goaltending, everyone doing their job and doing it the same way every time. Chocula even found a way to remove the one skater who strayed off the plan when PK had one bad game. Now he may never get back in because the Swiss Mister II is playing it safe. Cripes. Of course, like Sens fans in the Alfie/Heatley/Spezza heyday, winning makes you accept some dullness.
C-Span on a continuous loop: The most interesting thing about the Sens used to be our old friend Senators Los Cojones over at Five For Smiting; you could always count on SLC to rip someone or something to pieces like a rabid pitbull when wronged. Sadly, SLC has called it quits so now everything associated with Ottawa is beige.
Being Single and Listening to Your Married Friends Talk About Their Kids: Well, if your kids were Mathieu Darche or Benoit Pouliot or Pleks or TFS, you'd be bragging too. For the Sens, both goalies have been pretty good ... but instead of igniting a goalie controversy, it's made Sens fans almost crack a smile and say "I like that Leclaire and Elliott. Good goalies." Scintillating.
Dishwater, dull as: Repeat the same - Markov out for the season. Sens don't even have the decency to have an injury.
Out on a date with your Mom: Usually as boring and painful as you can imagine ... unless you're HF29, whose Mom is the coolest and will be at the game with him tonight!!! Whoooooooo!!!