Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Bring on the Boredom: Team Chocula vs Team Son of Chocula Game Preview and Open Thread

"The Senators ... just like watching C-Span, except more boring!"

Good lord, it's the Senators.  Well, let's get this shit over with.  The vanilla Sens and their fans are the yearly physical of the Habs schedule:  dull, predictable, possibility of being violated in a professional and boring manner.  Let's get this done and move on.

Paint Drying:  Tonight, at the Bell Centre at 7:30.  Habs winners of two straight, Sens are 3-6-1 in their last 10.  These teams have already played 3 times this year and still have (checks schedule) good God, three more meetings including tonight.

Grass Growing: Random Sens assembly-line winger Chris Kelly had a hat-trick last game.  Whoop-de-doo.  Quiet Swede Captain Daniel Alfredsson is still around.  With the annual "we hate Dany Heatley" game out of the way, Sens are not-so-boldly wandering in the wilderness of the bottom half of the Eastern standings.  Even their most intriguing celebrity couple is the nicely cute and quiet Mike and Carrie.  Jesus, even Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie send each other naughty texts.  

Christmas Party at the Accounting Firm: Habs are winning the Chocula way, with stifling defence, great goaltending, everyone doing their job and doing it the same way every time.  Chocula even found a way to remove the one skater who strayed off the plan when PK had one bad game.  Now he may never get back in because the Swiss Mister II is playing it safe.  Cripes.  Of course, like Sens fans in the Alfie/Heatley/Spezza heyday, winning makes you accept some dullness.  

C-Span on a continuous loop:  The most interesting thing about the Sens used to be our old friend Senators Los Cojones over at Five For Smiting; you could always count on SLC to rip someone or something to pieces like a rabid pitbull when wronged.  Sadly, SLC has called it quits so now everything associated with Ottawa is beige.  

Being Single and Listening to Your Married Friends Talk About Their Kids:  Well, if your kids were Mathieu Darche or Benoit Pouliot or Pleks or TFS, you'd be bragging too.  For the Sens, both goalies have been pretty good ... but instead of igniting a goalie controversy, it's made Sens fans almost crack a smile and say "I like that Leclaire and Elliott.  Good goalies."  Scintillating. 

Dishwater, dull as:  Repeat the same - Markov out for the season.  Sens don't even have the decency to have an injury. 

Out on a date with your Mom: Usually as boring and painful as you can imagine ... unless you're HF29, whose Mom is the coolest and will be at the game with him tonight!!!  Whoooooooo!!!

136 comments:

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29 and mom of 29
Please, no flashing the crowd. In this snow storm I don't want to have to bail you out.... again.

HabsFan29 said...

zzzzzzzz

(just practising. not a comment on 10's preview)

mom and I will get tanked before the game so we'll have fun at least

bea.habs.fan said...

@29 Hope you have a good time and no controversies.
last time I took my Mom to the booth, we ended up in the middle of a fight (not even between opposing fans but between 2 Habs fan fighting over a supposedly disparaging remark about one of the girlfriends - wasn't even a borng game as it was Habs-Pens)

soperman said...

Geez. When the Habs grab a big lead and McSplooge starts using his suicidal voice, I may fall asleep.

GYFHGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

@ mom of 29 - keep the little shit in line.

Patrick said...

For the record, speaking from experience, big accounting firm xmas parties are actually pretty decent.

Booze and chicks everywhere.

New "marketing" company's xmas party...not the same...

Bill 101 said...

All the "boring, boring" & zzzzzz

wtf??

What if the player formerly known as "l'Artiste" is auditioning? Who then will be bored?

not Weber. nor PFK.

iRiRi said...

Psst! It's a 7PM start. Of course, we'll all be in a deep sleep by 7:30.

GYFHG!

Habsfan10 said...

@ Patrick:

I went to four years of big accounting firm Christmas parties, and the only one that wasn't boring was the year they hired Blue Rodeo's Jim Cuddy to perform. Otherwise it was like a Sens game with (admittedly) lotsa free booze but not so many chicks (unless you counted the ladies from marketing).

Number31 said...

No PK again will make it doubly-boring. Seriously, Chocula would probably scratch Ovechkin to curb his enthusiasm. Jerk.

Chances are most of the crowd will be stuck in traffic in the snow anyway.

L Dude said...

Coffee and baileys tonight instead of the traditional beer and/or rum and coke. It'll help to stave off the zees and also be in homage to y'all experiencing winter in Montreal. Still just lots of rain here in NS.

Think we'll hear a 'WE WANT PK' chant tonight? Especially if YW makes a mistake.

29 - I love your mom. Any woman who can be adjectived with hot and drunk is AOK in my books. Have a great time. Sounds like you'll need a drinking game to kill the time. Every time the fans boo because the refs 'missed a call', chug one $12 beer (or whatever they go for now).

moeman said...

Very à propos thread theme.

So if AK46 scores does 29 turn to Mom and scream Tits! (or does Mom29 scream first?!)

Steve said...

Fucking Swiss, first they shut down the Wikileaks guys bank account, and now there favorite son takes PFK out of the lineup by listening to fucking Vampire speak. Choucula could win the first two rounds with plyons, but the next two rounds he will need a PFK.

HabsFan29 said...

just checking in quickly before i meet mom at the bar in a half hour. she called to tell me she's got the flaming sambucas lined up and ready to light

i promise you all i will start the "we want PK" chant at the first opportunity

Anonymous said...

i want gomez to get off his ass and bore a hole in sens defence

moeman said...

This is nice;

G Karri Ramo: 24 years old, 6'3", 207 pounds, catches left.
KHL Club: Avangard Omsk (19W, 8L, 1 OTL, 1 SOL)

Stats: 25GP, 16-6-2-0, 2.01GAA, .921%

Flying Toaster said...

@ anon - calm down man, christmas is not for another 18 days...

moeman said...

Put on the red light parody;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4EFVgtB0Y

Flying Toaster said...

30 minutes to the game and the comment section is as asleep as Gomez.

moeman said...

FlyToa meant;


30 minutes to the game and the comment section is as asleep as Gomezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

bea.habs.fan said...

to wake up the section, Boone has a link to a coll ad
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=761524348149&oid=131261303584199&comments

(sorry have yet to understand how to to the bracket thing for links)

best WV ever: fights

Steve said...

flying fucking frenchman, not orange fucking blocking plyons. Fuck change the fucking rules, do we want to watch a chess game where some dumb fuck breaks out of the zombie spell and makes a human mistake, Fuck this Zombie Vamp hockey

iRiRi said...

They're so winning tonight. I'm gonna miss you, PK.

iRiRi said...

Bea's link

I'm bored.

bea.habs.fan said...

thans iRiri

we could get a pool going on McSplooging.
first one to post the first dubious comment
betting on who will be his monster
which player will get him salivating
etc

bea,habs,fan said...

not a good start.
thnak god Price was awake

moeman said...

Because it's never too early to put the words on notice ... top banned words of 2010, as defined, somewhat, by me ...

Frenemies
- people you still admire, despite their affection for the leaf or worse the Bruins, or worser, both, or worsest, add the flyers to the axis of evil

Social Media
- those that don't comment at Habs I/O

Sexting
- what mcsplooge does with all underaged NHLers he calls insertname+ie (eg. Tommie, Markie, Buddie, Kendie)

Obamabot
- lost all hope, no change coming

How's that workin' out for ya?
- how to greet Brian Burke

Establishment
- NHL's version allows for rude personal emails about players the head honcho of head hits hates

Mainstream
- the whoosh of PleXXXe skating down the ice

Lamestream
- the whoosh of MeXXXe skating down the ice

Emboldened
- let PFK be

Litmus Test
- How good are the Habs with a Captain?!

Blowout preventer
- See TFS™

Top Kill
- See Habs PK

Real Housewives of ___________
- Ovenmitts?

Gaga
- See TFS™

Junk Shot
- See mcsplooge

Enthusiasm Gap
- An Ottawa Senators game

Mixologist/Mixology
- meth+ice cream, stir don't shake, get a spoon

Folks
- Use it when imitating bob cold

Elites
- CHeck the Habs in the standings kidz

Hysterical
- CHeck the leaf in the standings kidz

Breathless
- Bar

Fee Fees
- Living in La Belle Province incurs these

Structural Unemployment
- see Vodkov

Epistemic Closure
- I need a lawyer for this one

Hippy Punching
- What I'd like to see a hippy do to don cherry

Number31 said...

Well, looks like both teams are playing like poop.

Steve said...

@moemen, I raise my freak flag in your honour, brilliant take on the situation at hand.

Flying Toaster said...

0ne thing I like about Sens/Habs games: I get to listen to them on the radio instead of just following the boxscore on NHL.com

One thing I don't like though is constantly having to tell customers to shut up so I can actually hear the play by play during some nice action sequences

moeman said...

mcsplooge: "I know Gonchar is bigger than Gionta".

They pay people for this.

moeman said...

Squid!

Flying Toaster said...

GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Squid!!!!!!

bea.habs.fan said...

amazing
a PP goal when we barely touch the puck .
talk about making your own luck

lawyergirl77 said...

Is it just the aftereffects of my fever or did Squid just score on PP??

Number31 said...

Gooooooooooooooal. Thanks Chris Phillips for being a crappy defenseman.

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moe
you won the first iffy McSplooge comment
I'd say meth and ice cream for you but we all know how unreliable anything promised on these comment pages are

(I'm in awe of your banned word lists)

moeman said...

lg77, Squid scored but there's no reason to not mix the NyQuil.

moeman said...

Thx bea.

Maybe I should call Ben and Jerry and have them sponsor FHF...

Number31 said...

MOAR GOALS!

bea.habs.fn said...

@Moe
ooh I second that.
but wait didn't they get bought out by a big company?
explains the unoriginal flavors

Flying Toaster said...

@ moeman - Ben and Jerry and that nice, toothless, bald young man who calls himself 'lil fucker across the street. Gives all the young kids free coke and peanuts. Such a nice man!

Wv: randomp - indeed that is a random P. What are you gonna do about it?

iRiRi said...

Squidddddddddd!!!

I was on the phone so I missed it. My friend just told me there's a Hooters in Mtl. Can anyone confirm?

Flying Toaster said...

@ iRiRi - looking to apply? If so, we want pictures.

bea.habs.fan said...

FUCK

moeman said...

@iRiRi,

Q: "My friend just told me there's a Hooters in Mtl. Can anyone confirm?"

With all due respect and you know I love women.

A: Look in the mirror. (you see kidz, iRiRi was Hootin' and a hollerin' when Squid scored and ...

~~~

ack, horrible goal to give up.

HabScot said...

crap

Number31 said...

NO NOT YOU, SENS.

And why am I not surprised that botched half-asleep coverage had Spacek involved....

iRiRi said...

@Flying- I don't want to work there, I want to, um, eat there. Yeah, that's it.

Also, fuuuuuuuucccckkk.

lawyergirl77 said...

RiRi - I think there is one on south Sore on Taschereau boulevard, but don't quote me.

Moe - is it just me or does NyQuil now SUCK? No buzz anymore, barely knocks me out. I remember that shit used to be lethal. Now its no better than Buckleys. Wah.

moeman said...

lg77, true but NeoCitran (doubled up) will knock you out harder than a Sens game with a slight morphine-ish numbing as you drift into the arms of Morpheus. Bonus, its lemony.

moeman said...

Ah, tsn panel says PFK has to 'dial it down' and 'be a Pro'. Ah.

moeman said...

BTW kidz, darren pang has a pro-hockey media job. One of the many FOGs that is still cashing it in.

bea.habs.fan said...

@LG11
I believe that is due to acclimatization (or something)
I see bigger doses in your future

WV a good pectoris comes in handy for FF cups on display at Hooters

iRiRi said...

You guys, I just googled it. There really is one!

moeman said...

iRiRi meant she gOOgled it.

Number31 said...

Darren Pang: "the white way--RIGHT way". Tadan...

Sorry, but firstly Pietrangelo's public personality is a block of wood compared to PK's. I'd rather have PK "the human quote machine" than your average Cyberman hockey player.

lawyergirl77 said...

Moe - if it wasn't the apocalypse outside, NeoCitran would be in my future. Alas, NyQuil it is.

Flying Toaster said...

@ moe - thank GOD for lemon-flavored. Am I the only one who can't stand anything cherry-flavored?

Wv: derboop. As in: Interviewed about his play after the game, Spacek had this to say: "Spacek skate and mean sensman come with puck and Spacek made derboop! Now Spacek sad :( "

moeman said...

Get well lg.

Nice catCH n31.

moeman said...

@FlyToa,

http://www.jeremiahweed.com/

CHerry mash version. Puts NeoCitran+Vodka to sleep.

moeman said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Flying Toaster said...

Man those look delicious. But I still hate anything cherry flavored... I really gotta try and grt back to hard liquor. Used to LOVE it, now I can barely smell it without feeling like there's something WRONG inside me....

Note to all you young kids out there: don't think you can go 48 hours without sleep, 24 hours with no food or water, and then drink half a bottle of Jack's.... You will know what real pain is.

Number31 said...

Tony Marinaro got his wish in that Gomez is now injured. Now we're down the one guy who can plow through the crowd with speed (especially since PK is SCRATCHED).

iRiRi said...

Ouch. That looked painful. Make the Senzzz pay!

Number31 said...

SCORE ON THIS FUCKING POWERPLAY

moeman said...

Gomez out, Pax or Desharnais in?

Also, this PP needs some PFK.

moeman said...

mcsplooge just mentioned 29ie.

iRiRi said...

Fail, much?

moeman said...

How fucking sad is it seeing PFK up there? Nice hat.

BTW, tsners and blob mackenzie, the security detail on PFK was not paid for or supplied by the Habs. Get your fucking facts straight you fucking hacks.

Flying Toaster said...

@ moeman - you mean this GAME needs some PFK. I'm at work and falli g asleep here!

iRiRi said...

This whole game needs some PK.

Flying Toaster said...

@ moeman - you mean this GAME needs some PFK. I'm at work and falli g asleep here!

iRiRi said...

@Flying - jinx! You owe me a coke!

Number31 said...

Well, Habs, why don't you just GIVE the Sens the game in a big sleepy bow.

No Gomez = PP SUCKS

Aaaand of course Carey saves the day! Time for the rest of them to wake up.

iRiRi said...

Call me crazy but I'm going to choose that save as the one that turns the game around.

Number31 said...

FREE PK!

Flying Toaster said...

@ riri - will 1kg of coke do?

This game s so boring I had to grav a red bull off store shelves or I'd be asleep right now.

moeman said...

Maybe the PP players are sending CHocula a message to FREE PFK!

Number31 said...

This game is -50 on the PK scale.

iRiRi said...

@Flying - Strictly meth, sorry.

You know, I figure it's win-win now. If they manage to win, well, 2 points. If they lose, we see PFK. Not that I want them to lose.

moeman said...

Win or lose I bet a pint of NeoCitran-laced ice-cream that PFK plays versus PFK hating don cherry's fucking leaf.

moeman said...

Ooh, tsn corrects darren FOG pang's racial slip of the tongue. Sure.

Number31 said...

I want them to stop playing like shit and stop giving the Sens every inch of the ice.

bea.habs.fan said...

glad that period is over.
could barely keep my eyes open (more form shame than boredom. - all those PPs took the wind right out of them. bloody awful to watch; would rather listen to a symphony of nails on a blackboard than watch any part of that period again.

moeman said...

ray ferraroar still has a job? He called for other players to deliberately take out Max Lapierre? What gives with the wads?

Moey said...

Go Ducks!!

moeman said...

Bageldog!

iRiRi said...

Halpern!!!

bea.hf said...

WOOOHOOOOO
Halprn (doe she have a knickname?)

Flying Toaster said...

FUCKING *spanish soccer guy voice* GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lehab said...

mazeltof!

Number31 said...

Mazel Tov! Leclaire froze.

moeman said...

Halpern could be nicked ManisCHewitz. Try typing that on a NeoCitran buzz.

GoldenGirl11 said...

What happened to Gomez? And I hate cherry flavor too.

moeman said...

In case you need to induce puke;

http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=344594

iRiRi said...

@GG - upper body apparently

iRiRi said...

Of course, that's from Dr. RDS

GoldenGirl11 said...

Halpern = Shlomo
I just made that up. I have no idea.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@iRi
Thanks. Can't stay awake. I thought he was sulking or something.

moeman said...

I will emBELLish GG's offering with sCHloMex.

bea,habs,fan said...

I'm all for the lemon flavors.
once had cherry neocitran at my brothers, gagged on it (which totally defeated its purpose). the only solution was to drink it scalding hot.

I'm also very uset that I can't find lemon flavored gatorade anymore. the onlyone i could drink. bet if I was a hockey star they'd make that flavor just for me

Number31 said...

Is it just me or did Auld move his seat further away from Gargamel?

moeman said...

99 comments and its is ice cream city. We only have ourselves to blame (OK, and the NeoCitran) if we can't get this game thread to 200!!!

moeman said...

@bea, lemon-flavoured G-ade is on the shelf at the Métro.

Moey said...

Was it just me or did the score on top show 0-0 at the 13 minute mark?

moeman said...

G I O !!!!!!!!!!!

iRiRi said...

Gio!!!

lehab said...

GIANT!

iRiRi said...

Have we hit 200 yet this season?

Moey said...

And in true Mr. Moey fashion, he walks into the room, stands right in front of the TV when Gionta scores. Some things never change. *sigh*

moeman said...

Methinks 200 will be aCHieved Saturday night vs. the leaf with PFK in the line up.

Bonus will be seeing burke and cherry lose it on air.

bea.habs.fan said...

missed the goal
don't even have a husband to blame

(and the lemon gatorade at Metro - what Metro was that Moe?)

moeman said...

Gatineau.

moeman said...

heh, mcsplooge is all worried about, the Sens player. What a fucking asswipe.

moeman said...

When is mcsplooge's contract up?

moeman said...

G I O , again!!!

iRiRi said...

Stanley!

Flying Toaster said...

So the game is fun now?

bea.habs.fan said...

icing !!!!!! on the win cake in case that was confusing

GoldenGirl11 said...

It's a Chanukah miracle. Roman the Hamr, Cammalleri and halpern. Baruch hashem.

lehab said...

Hammrtime!

moeman said...

Yup Hamr, despite mcsplooge wishing it away. Thought Gio bounced it off of Leclaire.

bea.habs.fan said...

A Moe Gatoneau!
Crap nowhere near me

moeman said...

Costco has the G-ade powders. Not Neo-Citranny!

moeman said...

Picturing 29 hugging his Mom.

moeman said...

heh, Neil sending a message. To who?

lehab said...

Picturing mom of 29 managing hOOters

Flying Toaster said...

*raises hand* from Gatineau also. More specifically Hull. Half the populace are Sens fans but hey it's not their fault, they don't know any better.

iRiRi said...

WIN!!!! W00t! 3 in a row!

bea.habs.fan said...

how can McSlpooge make it sound like it's not that the canadiensplay well but that the Sens are offensively challenged?
what an ass

GoldenGirl11 said...

Next thing you know it'll be an all Jewish league. Mazel Tov!!

moeman said...

Picturing 29 marketing Habs kippahs.

lehab said...

@moe kippahs with matching oven mitts

Number31 said...

I need a picture of Hal Gill holding Carkner and Winchester away in very Larry Robinson manner.

Also YAY for a less sleepy 3rd period. Maybe they were forced to look at Chocula's tie.

HabsFan29 said...

after a quick stop for some post-game drinks, mom and i made it home. there was 30 minutes of decent Habs hockey in there. mom will have a full report in the morning

French toast said...

I just realized that there haven't been any more triple low fives. What's with that?! They even made a video about it! Ugh.