Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Habs Try to Take Down Taylor Hall - Oilers Preview and Game Night Open Thread

HF10's note:  Really busy at work today, so I asked my niece Katlin to talk about her favourite player, Taylor Hall. 

OMG TAYLOR HALL TAYLOR HALL TAYLOR HALL!!! He's like the Justin Bieber of the NHL and he's so dreamy and TAYLOR HALL is totally going to bring the Oilers back to glory, him and Jordan Eberle and Magnus Paajarvi but TAYLOR HALL!! is so awesome and dreamy and amay-zing.  My friends Madison and Paige and Tiffany and I LOOOOVE him soooo much, let's look at all the fabulicious awesome things TAYLOR HALL is amazing for:

In the (Taylor) Hall of the Mountain King: Taylor Hall and his awesome fantasticalness are totally coming to the Bell Centre tonight at 7:30. And you can totally watch it live or PVR it from RDS or TSN and then tweet about it or IM me or whatevs!!! BTW, if you don't totally luv Edvard Grieg's haunting, seminal orchestral piece In the (Taylor) Hall of the Mountain King written for Henrik Ibsen's bewitching satire on Norwegian egotism, narrowness, and self-sufficiency Peer Gynt, OMG I totally am going to unfriend you and never speak to you again, like I did to that bitch Ashley.

(Taylor) Hall & Oates: Great duos are OMG LOL awesome. In the 80's, it was Gretzky/Kurri or, if you prefer the 1-2 punch, Gretzky/Messier, and now it's totally like Taylor Hall/Jordan Eberle or Taylor Hall/Magnus Paajarvi or I guess like Pleks/Cammy or Pleks/Gio or Pleks/Big Tits or Pleks/anybody. Like, that Pleks guy is so totally good for a nerdy turtleneck wearer.  Madison totally thinks he's like a Czech Joe Jonas. 

(Taylor) Wolf Hall: The 2009 Booker Prize winning novel totally documents the the rapid rise to power of Thomas Cromwell, 1st Earl of Essex in the court of Henry VIII. Cromwell was like, a total commoner who was just awesomely good at doing stuff, sort of like Taylor Hall, except Taylor Hall wasn't a lowly commoner but an already super-great dude. Cromwell is sorta kinda like guys like Ryan Whitney and Josh Gorges and other guys like Hamrlik and Spacek. It totally alludes to the latin saying "man is wolf to man", u know? Like, 4 sure. When man is wolf to man, you want these guys totally watching your back end, right? Totally.

This Can't Be Happening at MacDonald (Taylor) Hall!: The awesomeness of Taylor Hall, who with his dreamy moves and supertastic talent is currently so hot, still can't help Magnus Paajarvi cuz he totally hasn't scored a point in 13 games. Scott Gomez, who is like some sort of Mexican Alaskan is not scoring or something and is like a more expensive Shawn Horcoff. Pre-Taylor Hall Taylor Halls Sam Gagner and Andrew Cogliano have totally been exactly what Oilers management was hoping for, LOL NOT. Despite being so awesomely talented that everyone wanted him, Taylor Hall and the Oilers youngsters are still struggling totally 29th out of 30 teams. It's just almost exactly like that totally awesome Gordon Korman book, except with a lot of different things going on but in the end it's gonna be soooo sweet and awesome just like that.

Deck the (Taylor) Halls: It's like, coming up to Christmas and if I don't get an iPad I'm totally going to lose it on my stepmum because it will totally be her fault. But you know who doesn't lose it very much is that hottie Carey Price. He's like so awesomely cool with his bunch of shutouts and wins and stuff, like Michael Cera in "Scott Pilgrim Versus the World" except as a goalie, right? I could also see Martin Gerber playing in this one, since he's just arrived and is totally trying hard and everything.

(Taylor) Hallmark Cards: Get well cards (I like totally don't mail stuff, I'll like IM or text or tweet or maybe send an e-card, but whatevs) should get sent to Andrei Markov and Nicholai Khabibulin and maybe Ales Hemsky, who might totally take tonight off because his knee is all WTF.

(Taylor) Halls of Reflection: My geeky little brother totally wastes all his time on World of Warcraft and is all "Halls of Reflection FTW!" but if you want some reflection on the totally awesome greatness of Taylor Hall, check out The Copper and Blue.

Party at the Hofbräuhaus am Platzl Beer (Taylor) Hall: I swear, I'm totally gonna party like crazy on our class trip to Munich and get to the Hofbrauhaus and meet some cute German boys, but tonight after the game I'm just totally going to text everybody about how awesome Taylor Hall was and the facebook everyone and then me and Tiffany are gonna totally go on Chat Roulette. TTYL!!

113 comments:

iRiRi said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! That was, like, um, the most awesomest game preview, like, EVER!!!!1!!!! :D :D

*pops gum*

Carey, I wanna have your babies!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

iRiRi said...

P.S. GYFHG!

Flying Toaster said...

Hmmm, not sure chat roulette is such a great idea. Lots of naked old men on there >.>

With that said, oddly well-educated niece you got there HF10 :P

GYFHG!!!

WV: Boymoust - That just sounds wrong.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Henrik Ibsen's bewitching satire on Norwegian egotism, narrowness, and self-sufficiency Peer Gynt
Must've been trending because my kids were saying the exact same thing last night at the dinner table!

bea.habs.fan said...

most awesomest of prevs ever.
I'm gonna totally check out like Hall's ass all game long, yaknow

lawyergirl77 said...

"Madison totally thinks he's like a Czech Joe Jonas."

+ like, a million gum smacks. *smack*

Seriously hilarious preview and pic!!

Steve said...

I have man crush on Taylor Hall cause of the goal he scores just after doing a full speed face plant into the end boards. AWESOME

marcintouch said...

"This Can't Be Happening at MacDonald (Taylor) Hall" for the WIN.

Stormblade99 said...

I have been lurking and loving this blog for years now, but I just had to comment on this. This is Teh Awesome!

L Dude said...

OMFG! DID U HEAR? PFK's gonna be on OTR 2nite!

iRiRi said...

@L Dude - SHUT UP!!

Orangeman said...

GG: I'm sorry to hear that. Ibsen's social relativism and mistrust of community institutions in a time of dramatic shifts in both political and economic realities accompanied by violent upheval throughout the pre-Romanticism world can only be described as sophomoric at best. I just wish kids like yours and 10's niece would oepn themselves up to more deep and meaningful works of art. But today's youth just want to auto-tune this, argue the merits of liberalism in an increasingly conservative global macroeconomy that. It doesn't help that the media is constantly shoving Brittany's boobs and Ibsen's jowls in their faces, but it's really the responsibility of parents to expose their children to the merits of the post-industrial omnipotence of satire in intercommunity subsistance. And that Kayne West is a talentless lunatic.

Funny, I was just having this exact discussion with the mailbox the other day.

Hadulf said...

A WoW reference! Whaaa? OMG!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Orange
Tell me about it! Ma'nishtana! (I know, I know wrong holiday but you get what I mean)

Chag sameach everyone. Couldn't pick a more appropriate team to play on the first night of Chanukah

Hadulf said...

@HF10's niece.

Taylor Hall's awesomeness is just an illusion

Steve said...

On a metaphysical scale from 1 to 10, one being unmercifully joyfully enthusiastic with merit as Richard Branson, and 10 being as nihilistic as a Leaf fan, I look forward to this game at a 7.

My only wish is that the Jew burns one oiler 8 times.

moeman said...

I miss high sCHool. Great work 10's niece et GG, you kidz rulz.

HabsFan29 said...

i may be in love with 10's niece. is she over 18?

fine work all around FHF'ers

CHappy CHanukkah to all!

soperman said...

I was at Arby's last night. 29, you looked a little under the weather.

Panty raid on Taylor Hall ewwwwwh

PFK coming up on next question in two minutes! Thanks for the heads up

Anonymous said...

they beat us to it

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/It-s-the-official-Florida-Panthers-NHL-yarmulke-?urn=nhl-290922

soperman said...

Pernell FUCKING Karl!!!

Classy kid, funny guy. "Only Pleks should wear a turtleneck under his sweater."

Le Douze said...

Well at leat HF10's niece's friends will have plenty of opportunities at Chez Paree etc. with names like that.

(Does it date me that names like Ashley and Tiffany and Madison always conjure up some young thing on a table with not a lot of clothing on? Madison, for instance, that brings back some memories....)

NHL logo keepas ... now there's an idea!

Gr8 prvu, 10! LMAO!!

Moey said...

Taylor Hall? As if. Like gag me with a spoon grodie.

GYFHG!

Gino Tomac said...

the last time 2 girls went traveling through Germany nothing good came of it. Case in point, "The Human Centipede."

Now GYFH(G)

moeman said...

TFS™ second to some guy named Crosby for best November player;

http://www.rds.ca/canadien/chroniques/310825.html

moeman said...

iOyvey;

http://gigaom.com/apple/8-ipad-apps-for-hanukkah/

HabsFan29 said...

ok let's get this mcsplooge-fest underway!

Moey said...

*puts on raincoat, opens umbrella*

Okay, I'm ready.

iRiRi said...

Oilers have the no. 30 PK. Just sayin'.

iRiRi said...

The game hasn't even started and the rain has already threatened to take away my satelite signal twice.

HabsFan29 said...

Grey Cup woooooo!!!!!

iRiRi said...

"OH EM GEE! Look, everyone! It's my future baby daddy!!"

HabsFan29 said...

on screen stat: Gomez 1 goal in his last 23 games. ugh

HabsFan29 said...

dumb penalty Jeff. Halpern's pissed he's playing on hanukkah

moeman said...

Have the leaf been sold yet?

HabsFan29 said...

weird bounce but i'll take it!

moeman said...

DarCHtagnan!

iRiRi said...

MEX!!!

HabsFan29 said...

that's a goal for Gomez!

moeman said...

How creepy is mcsplooge's trenchcoat flapping weirdo laugh?

iRiRi said...

Gomez is know for having horrible Octobers and Novembers.

*checks calendar*

bea.habs.fan said...

perfect timing.
I get home, turn on the tely

and BAM Mex scores.
obvisouly what he needed

(love the menorrah. are we going to get a new head evryday?

moeman said...

This one is for all FHFers, except 29.

Isn't it kinda fun to see which iPhone App sends the quickest gameplay notifications. LP vs. RDS and RDS wins.

HabsFan29 said...

@bea - i've had GG slaving away for the last 8 days to make photoshopped menorahs for the next eight nights. somehow she managed to do it on one day's worth of Macbook power. miracle!

Moey said...

OMG! I totally want that DVD of Ovie for Christmas!!! As if.

moeman said...

ack

HabsFan29 said...

crap. crappy penalties finally cost us

bea.habs.fan said...

damn. I stop watching to run to pee and ...
well that'll teach me. I should not move from my TV for the rest of the season.

@29 looking forward to GG's art (as always). I'm sure 'interesting' will not even begin to cover it

moeman said...

@bea, if bob cold can wear diapers, so can you.

moeman said...

WhoTF cares what Mike Peca has to say?

moeman said...

Guess leaf junk ain't being sold. Carry on. BTW, those old Carry On movies were bad but fun but bad, like the leaf.

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moeman
i know I'm oldish but I'm nowhere needing diapers.
it's at times like this that I regret not being a guy and just using a bottle.

should do my Kiegle's more often

moeman said...

Secrets of the Rabbi's Wife
Use starchy potatoes. They are low in moisture and crisp well. Burbank Russets, King Edwards, and Yukon Golds are good choices.
Shred the potatoes uniformly.
Squeeze as much moisture out of the potatoes as possible.
Don't make the patties too large. 3" wide by 1/2" is ideal. Leave the edges jagged for extra crispiness.
Use a 12" skillet. preferably cast iron, because it distributes and retains heat well, and that's important as you add cold patties to the oil. Wipe the pan clean with oil before starting.
Don't start frying until a sliver of potato sizzles when you drop it into the oil.
Slide the patties into the oil a minute apart to make sure the oil doesn't get cold.
Don't overcook.
Keep them in a hot oven when they are done.
Serve immediately.
Latkes for a Crowd
Here's how restaurants make lots of latkes at once:
Put a large rimmed baking sheet into the oven and pour in about 1/4" of oil. Preheat to 450°F for about 20 minutes.
Slip the latkes into the hot oil and paint the tops of the latkes with a bit of the hot oil.
Bake/fry them for 6-8 minutes on one side until GBD, turn and bake for another 5 minutes or so. Add oil as needed, but wait until it heats up before cooking.

Innovations?
Latke competitions are not as widespread as barbecue cookoffs, but they seem to be growing in popularity. Since I am addicted to potato pancakes, I read every latke recipe I see. Here are some of the innovations I have read about that you may wish to try:
For extra crispiness, use egg whites only or add corn starch.
Partially boil the potatoes for about 10 minutes, let them dry and cool before grating.
Use bread crumbs or matzoh meal instead of flour in the mix.
Coat the patties with bread crumbs or matzoh meal.
Upscale latkes?
Latkes, originally peasant food, have been going upscale lately, appearing on the menus of white table cloth restaurants. Chefs now make them with everything from sweet potato (yum), zucchini, carrot, apples, pears, cauliflower, mushrooms, lentils, celery root, rice, cabbage, parsnips, olives, and even beets (yuk). I have even seen these ingredients added to potato latkes.

I have also heard of adding fresh herbs such as chives, thyme, parsley, or rosemary, and even parmesan cheese.

For garnishes, the shee shee crowd uses crème fraîche and caviar, smoked salmon and whipped cream cheese, sour cream and salmon eggs, Greek yogurt with fresh figs, and watercress sprinkled on everything.

If you're not Jewish and you really want to cross the streams, fry them in bacon or duck fat, and put chopped bacon in the blend. If you are Jewish and you even think about this, well the punishment is worse than growing hair on your palms...

Oy vyy!

moeman said...

@bea, no disrespect meant, just suggesting that one could strap on a Pampers, drink copiously, lets say lotsa beer, not leave the couch for three periods and still feel the warmth. If bob cold can do it, we should to!

(Yes I have sent an email to bob cold's agent suggesting that bob has a gold (shower) mine in the offing.)

moeman said...

DarCHtagnan!

iRiRi said...

DarCHe!!

bea.habs.fan said...

it pays when I actually watch.
@ PP goals
we must be first in the league again, right?!!

HabsFan29 said...

30th ranked PK can cure anything

Moey said...

@moe,

Whip me up one of those iLatkes.

Creme fraiche, cavier and smoked salmon. *drool*

moeman said...

Hamr!

HabsFan29 said...

Hamr!

iRiRi said...

Hamr!

moeman said...

@Moey, I'll strap on the apron and help fry up dem latkes. Bring on the applesauce.

moeman said...

Love those FHF ménage-à-trois.

bea.habs said...

i love that Stanley cup pin !!!!!!!

WV: poofwnt - the posisbilities are endless whilst watching TSN

moeman said...

AC!

moeman said...

Bs slappin' da flyers 2-0. Tyler Kesseguin scores one.

soperman said...

did anyone see pronger come out of the crowd and steal hamr's 150 puck?

iRiRi said...

Fear not, the tits are back on the bench!

moeman said...

@sope, pronger will be too busy explaining a PHI loss and challenge reporters with his razor sharp wit. Where art though Fred Flintstone.

bea.habs.fan said...

fuck me they're fast

soperman said...

@ moe

you are as witty as pronger is witless...

soperman said...

@ moe

you are as witty as pronger is witless...

Moey said...

@moe,

Does it matter if the Bruins beat the Flyers? The dickheads didn't do it when it really mattered and screwed us out of the final. Stupid useless good for nothing Bruins.

iRiRi said...

Jesus Price!

moeman said...

Bonne Fête Elisha Cuthbert.

moeman said...

Thx sope.

@MyMoey, the more the fuglyflyers lose the better. Our Habs can handle the Bs.

moeman said...

R.I.P. Jim Kelley.

HabsFan29 said...

can mcsplooge mcsplooge any more over Hall? he's like 10's niece

iRiRi said...

I'm kinda mad I'm missing that. I'm superstitious so all games are watched on RDS.

HabsFan29 said...

trust me iRiRi it's better you're missing it. it's nauseating

HabsFan29 said...

ugh he's at it again. get me a bucket

moeman said...

DarCHe deserves the first star. Bonuanti-CHamber will splooge.

~~~

Whilst here and with all due respect to Pat, the Pat bURN was a bit creepy. yes, it got BR out of his crypt to pen the 'square-head' comment, but the Stanley Cup container was somewhat weird. Speaking of weird, I'm thinking when they eventually cremate BR, that his hair will not burn (don't look for a pun kidz). If anyone thinks that that much orange dye can be disintegrated hasn't watCHed MythBusters.

Chris Cuthbert is too excited on that cheap goal.

HabsFan29 said...

600 people in the crease. crap

iRiRi said...

Fuck RDS. Hello McSplooge!

moeman said...

Bonuanti-CHamber will splooge. = Bonus anti-CHamber will splooge.

soperman said...

auuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhh

HabsFan29 said...

my god that sequence was a nightmare. ugh

iRiRi said...

FUCKING TSN.

Orangeman said...

Ok, sorry guys. Just starting listening a few minutes before the last goal, now this. It is obviously my fault. Sorry, again.

bea.habs.fan said...

et MERDE

our PP is really not even worth the shit I don't step on

moeman said...

walkom is a fucking asshole.

iRiRi said...

Who is in charge of the commercials on TSN?

The Kardashians? Really? Wait, nevermind.

I shouldn't even be surprised. They've been playing it on Team 990 for the past 2 days.

moeman said...

tsn, EDM gets a point and maybe another. Are there two teams playing?

Orangeman said...

Ahhh, giving up a 2 goal lead to the worst team in the league. Could they sink any lower? What's that? The tying goal was shorthanded. Ok then.

WV: I'm not Jewish, even though I don't have any forkin.

soperman said...

how are those not penalties?

McSplooge is happy - asshole

HabsFan29 said...

it's all my fault. in TMS i made fun of the Leaf for blowing a two-goal lead in the 3rd and losing in OT. it's gonna happen to us

HabsFan29 said...

and JUST AS I TYPE THAT. GAH

iRiRi said...

And the fucking satellite went out right before OT. Just as well.

Orangeman said...

Fucking pathetic.

We can never mock the Leafs again. I'm not one to get on the team after one loss, but this was terrible, horrible and embarrassing. Get off the ice, you don't deserve to be on it.

Not to overeact or anything.

No, no stars for that garbage.

iRiRi said...

Just a hunch, but guessing we won't be seeing the TFS-PFK triple low fives for a while.

High Glove Side said...

well that was a cock biter.

Moey said...

Pricey looked pissed.

On the bright side, it's the Devils tomorrow night. Boring as hell, but we SHOULD beat them.

Orangeman said...

Oh good, another guaranteed loss tomorrow in NJ. Most teams would look at a week with these weak opponents as an opportunity to climb up the standings. Not our Habs though. They think outside the box. It's not a season without fighting for a point in the last game to sneak into the playoffs. Or not.

Yes, I'm freaking out. It's not like this team has proven me otherwise besides Price.

I'm in a bad mood tonight, btw.

Moey said...

@orangeman,

The game was pretty decent minus a couple of brain farts that lead to short handed goals. Have a drink anc chill mate.

Orangeman said...

@Moey: I'm chill. I'm just taking it out on the Habs because I can't do anything else about the real stuff that punched me in the scrotum today. It's just hockey, blah blah blah.

Still, though. Screw this team. Tonight, anyway. Would have been nice see a win is all.

Orangeman said...

Ok, that last post sounded too serious. Now I'm over-explaining. Ok, now I'm overly self-concious.

Where's my beer at?!

HabsFan29 said...

o'man you're amusing me if that makes you feel better. and you were right in the first place! FUCK THIS TEAM. that was a piss poor ending to a game we SHOULD HAVE FUCKING WON. meh

bea.habs.fan said...

at least they showed up for the game this time.

Orangeman said...

Thank you 29. I strive to amuse. But seriously-ish, how many games in this young year have the Habs simply not showed up? Certainly more than they've played as a team to win (LA's game last week being an example). I fear that their place in the standings and the otherwise thus far weak division (besides the Bs maybe) is fooling everyone into a false of security. But really, how maybe games have they played against real opponents?

Philly: 1-1 (needing a Price SO)
Bs: 1-0 (Price SO)
Pens: 1-0 (early in the season before they got started, but a nice comeback)
Van: 1-0 (Price SO)

That's it, and Price had to get a SO for 3/4 of those games.

Back to back games vs Bs and Philly next week followed by the 7 game xmas road trip of death. I fear the team will find themselves in a whole new standing position after that clusterfuck of gangbangery. I'm just concerned and sober.

Until 5 minutes from now.

Orangeman said...

And yes, I'm a Born Again Pricetian.

Until he screws up, then I'll post 5 straight angry, bitter rants.

But until then....

Our Father, Son and Goalie Spirit.

Amen.

Number31 said...

Know what else stinks? This fucking game will forever be on that stupid Oil Change documentary.

Howard said...

wv I wanted to break the screen on my plisma!