Wednesday, December 01, 2010
OMG TAYLOR HALL TAYLOR HALL TAYLOR HALL!!! He's like the Justin Bieber of the NHL and he's so dreamy and TAYLOR HALL is totally going to bring the Oilers back to glory, him and Jordan Eberle and Magnus Paajarvi but TAYLOR HALL!! is so awesome and dreamy and amay-zing. My friends Madison and Paige and Tiffany and I LOOOOVE him soooo much, let's look at all the fabulicious awesome things TAYLOR HALL is amazing for:
In the (Taylor) Hall of the Mountain King: Taylor Hall and his awesome fantasticalness are totally coming to the Bell Centre tonight at 7:30. And you can totally watch it live or PVR it from RDS or TSN and then tweet about it or IM me or whatevs!!! BTW, if you don't totally luv Edvard Grieg's haunting, seminal orchestral piece In the (Taylor) Hall of the Mountain King written for Henrik Ibsen's bewitching satire on Norwegian egotism, narrowness, and self-sufficiency Peer Gynt, OMG I totally am going to unfriend you and never speak to you again, like I did to that bitch Ashley.
(Taylor) Hall & Oates: Great duos are OMG LOL awesome. In the 80's, it was Gretzky/Kurri or, if you prefer the 1-2 punch, Gretzky/Messier, and now it's totally like Taylor Hall/Jordan Eberle or Taylor Hall/Magnus Paajarvi or I guess like Pleks/Cammy or Pleks/Gio or Pleks/Big Tits or Pleks/anybody. Like, that Pleks guy is so totally good for a nerdy turtleneck wearer. Madison totally thinks he's like a Czech Joe Jonas.
(Taylor) Wolf Hall: The 2009 Booker Prize winning novel totally documents the the rapid rise to power of Thomas Cromwell, 1st Earl of Essex in the court of Henry VIII. Cromwell was like, a total commoner who was just awesomely good at doing stuff, sort of like Taylor Hall, except Taylor Hall wasn't a lowly commoner but an already super-great dude. Cromwell is sorta kinda like guys like Ryan Whitney and Josh Gorges and other guys like Hamrlik and Spacek. It totally alludes to the latin saying "man is wolf to man", u know? Like, 4 sure. When man is wolf to man, you want these guys totally watching your back end, right? Totally.
This Can't Be Happening at MacDonald (Taylor) Hall!: The awesomeness of Taylor Hall, who with his dreamy moves and supertastic talent is currently so hot, still can't help Magnus Paajarvi cuz he totally hasn't scored a point in 13 games. Scott Gomez, who is like some sort of Mexican Alaskan is not scoring or something and is like a more expensive Shawn Horcoff. Pre-Taylor Hall Taylor Halls Sam Gagner and Andrew Cogliano have totally been exactly what Oilers management was hoping for, LOL NOT. Despite being so awesomely talented that everyone wanted him, Taylor Hall and the Oilers youngsters are still struggling totally 29th out of 30 teams. It's just almost exactly like that totally awesome Gordon Korman book, except with a lot of different things going on but in the end it's gonna be soooo sweet and awesome just like that.
Deck the (Taylor) Halls: It's like, coming up to Christmas and if I don't get an iPad I'm totally going to lose it on my stepmum because it will totally be her fault. But you know who doesn't lose it very much is that hottie Carey Price. He's like so awesomely cool with his bunch of shutouts and wins and stuff, like Michael Cera in "Scott Pilgrim Versus the World" except as a goalie, right? I could also see Martin Gerber playing in this one, since he's just arrived and is totally trying hard and everything.
(Taylor) Hallmark Cards: Get well cards (I like totally don't mail stuff, I'll like IM or text or tweet or maybe send an e-card, but whatevs) should get sent to Andrei Markov and Nicholai Khabibulin and maybe Ales Hemsky, who might totally take tonight off because his knee is all WTF.
(Taylor) Halls of Reflection: My geeky little brother totally wastes all his time on World of Warcraft and is all "Halls of Reflection FTW!" but if you want some reflection on the totally awesome greatness of Taylor Hall, check out The Copper and Blue.
Party at the Hofbräuhaus am Platzl Beer (Taylor) Hall: I swear, I'm totally gonna party like crazy on our class trip to Munich and get to the Hofbrauhaus and meet some cute German boys, but tonight after the game I'm just totally going to text everybody about how awesome Taylor Hall was and the facebook everyone and then me and Tiffany are gonna totally go on Chat Roulette. TTYL!!