Sunday, March 20, 2011

Go Far? You betCHa! ~ Habs start Spring vs. Wild Game Preview and Opening scene thread

Welcome to the new post super moon season FHF dudes and dudettes. In the wood CHipper which is this Spring's playoff race, our Montréal Canadiens (7-3-0) aren't playing at full strength but maintain and even keel as they take a shot at reaching the top divisional spot by playing a late afternoon game vs. the Wild of Minnesota (2-6-2), heckya. Helped along with the mischievousness of the hated leaf beating down the B-movie Bruins and the ingenuity of the young rebuilding Senators, who were more than the Lightning could handle, 1st place is still in view, keeping the guess work of our first round opponent a mystery. Action!

The Man Who Still Wasn't There ~ Too many men to mention and the list still includes PleXXXe and CHallah, oh, ya and Gu:( son-of-a-Latendresse, giving rds time to compare his acid flashback of a career stats with CHicken's acid flashback of a season.

Intolerable CHruelty ~ RDS vs cbc/hnic, 6PM EDT, take a walk, get some sun, bang a young Tara Reid-looking hooker, fire up the BBQ and watch  some white russians. Ah, Hon, ya got Arby's all over my ovenmitts. What, that's not Arby's?!
All Hail, The Ladykillers ~ Going to use this space to give femmage to Canadian skiing killer lady Jennifer Heil who races for the final time today and what a run she's had. An Olympic gold medal. An Olympic silver medal. In all, 57 World Cup medals in 94 career events in moguls skiing.
Burn After Reading the comments ~ Or just don't read Pfuck Daddy and his hnicwannabe-Habs-hating hacks. Pfuckers.

Gord PhlegMiller's Crossing ~ the line with his constant negative garbage retro stats. Time for a walk in the forest with Whitaker.

Bloody Simple ~ Gio!, Lego, Tits, DDD, MOEmaN, PFK! are playing great.

Ah, why so Serious Man? ~ Nice suit, CHeck, nice tie, CHeck, nice hair, CHeck, nice demeanour, CHeck. CHocula, show some fucking emotion.

No CHountry for Old Men? ~ meh, we need all that Hamr, Gill (he's in!) and Mara can give and then some. Need a boost?
The Studnotsucker Proxy ~ The still caged CHeeze Whiz replacing Gorjosh and Vodkov's game has proven to be the Goat's hulahoop.

The Big CHill Lebowski ~ Dude!, Bauld Auld is back in fucking net. (last minute edit) Minny is playing José Tan Ciera, who can't even stop a bowling ball.
MikO's Brother, Where Art Thou? ~ Big, hot and expensive centre Koivu (we'll take his salary and skill for Mex's) has a sibling we miss and fuck sympathy we still love that little Captain.

Raising AHLrizona ~ Habs have a crib full of baby Bulldogs lined up.
Barton FHFink ~ Hey Anon, I just found you a name, use it and quit trying to burn down our blog.

Go Far Go! ~ Fucking little weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucker son of a bitch! Fucking cock! Jesus Christ! You fucking shitbag motherfucker! Benoit, Shut the fuck up! Or I'll throw you back in Panger's trunk, you know?

"it's a very social sport where you can sit around and drink and smoke while engaging in inane conversation" ~ Ethan Coen, talking about FHF.

Sing-a-long, then start the inanities in the comments ...
~ ~ ~
Back on the CHain Gang

I found a picture of Tits, oh oh oh oh
AK46 hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
You've been CHast out of? oh oh oh oh
Now you're back in the fight
You're back on the train
Oh, you're back on the CHain gang

A CHircumstance beyond our control, oh oh oh oh
The iPhone, the tv and the hockey news of the world
Got in our house like a gorilla from hell, oh oh oh oh
Threw stanchion in PatCHes eyes and he descended oh my
But Max is back on the train
Oh, back on the CHain gang

The web powers that be
That force us to blog like we do
Bring me to my knees!
When I see ice cream and meth too
But I'll die as I sing here today
Knowing that deep in my Pants!
They'll fall to the floor one day
iRiRi's video arrived iHooray!

I found a picture of PFK!, oh oh oh oh
Those were the happiest days of his life
Like a break in the action was our part, oh oh oh oh
In the wretCHed life of a lonely FHF heart
Now we're back on the thread train
Oh, back on the comment CHain gang
G Y F H G !
Bonus Tara pic for 29's lapsed memory.

150 comments:

soperman said...

Brilliant post. I am psyched now, but the missus won't let me turn on the tv until the game comes on. Ooooooo

Mr. natural said...

Whoa, phew, glad that's over. Was sick as a PHuck for a couple of days there....but I'm back baby!

Two friends are in NYC, working on a video with the Wu Tang Clan (!!)and had the misfortune of attending the game proudly wearing their Habs jerseys and had to sit through that debacle, at least they weren't chained to the porcelain God like yours truly.

Couple of non hockey items:

1. The FHF and you moeman have hit the height of heights, you have touched on the genius which is The Coen Bros. I am surely one of their earliest and staunchest fans from the moment I first saw Blood Simple at the cinema. And you even managed to find pics of Tara when she was still hot!Bonus.

2. Dragged my ass off the porcelain throne to attend a charity fundraiser, turns out Justin Trudeau was attending, at one point he came over to our table and the three women at our table, 45, 55 and 60 years old, acted like 12 year old preteens (including Mrs. n) meeting Justin Bieber, it was hilarious and I wish I had it on vid because it was something that I will never see again.

Anyway, thanks for the updates as I missed two games but managed to check out your postings when the call of nature allowed.

GYMFHG!

Whatever else happens I hope we meet the Broons in the first round and go all Britney Spears on them ("do it to them one more time", did I need to clarify to this crowd, I apologize for underestimating you all) and that White kills that piece of shit hooligan Marchand.

Oh Ya 10-15 cms of PHucken'snow tomorrow.

Moey said...

Good one moe!

Also, found it kind of funny how the leaf paid video tribute to Kaberle (ahem, more than Koivu got from us) last night then go on to show how leaf stats have so greatly improved since his departure. Meanwhile, the Bruins start to slide. Yup, who would have thunk it, leaf woes were all Kaberle's fault. *rolls eyes*

the Maritimer said...

Somebody pointed it out elsewhere, I won't take the credit, the B's are 1-3-3 since the "Chara Incident".

Karma is a bitch isn't it?

Number31 said...

Fuck Chara. Fuck the Bruins. Fuck 'em all.

Bring me two points and Cal Clutterbuck and call it a Sunday, Auld!

GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO!

Steve said...

OsCHar worthy Moeman, CHircumstance beyond our control, Dylanistic

@Mr Natural, glad your feeling better, sound like your last couple of days where downright barbaric.

GYGHG, fuck Chara, fuck Cherry, fuck Buttman, and Chicken its your fuckin time, today.

Mr. natural said...

Ya CHicken's gotta step up or as we all know with the Habs org, he will not get many more chances (unless circumstances dictate as a necessity) and will become dispensable.

GHG!

Die Broons Die.

HabsFan29 said...

quality work everyone. submit your film to the TIFF for laughs

man i forgot how hot Tara Read used to be

HabsFan29 said...

anyone care to comment on the new HIO? I was going to say meh, whatever, i can live with it. that was until i saw FHF has been eliminated from the blogroll. so now i can only say it sucks

moeman said...

meh on the h i/o, I just go there for the links to other articles.

Also, NYR make it even more difficult for hnic's team to parade.

Also, too! Jen Heil, another medal!

Also, then, use to have a punkish crush on the hot CHrissie Hynde.

... and thanks kidz.

Steve said...

Sure Boone reveals the secret identity of almost everyone in the Fortress of CHolitude, then he cuts your link from the Hockey Insider, at the very least it could have been the Montreal Hockey Insider, Or the Habitat of Montreal Insiders.

moeman said...

Damn I love Julie Andrieu.

moeman said...

Minor edits, might want to refresh.

moeman said...

Moey, making these, my fave new dish.

Number31 said...

I was going to say that I expect big things from Chicken today but then I remembered it's Chicken we're talking about. So go ahead, Pouliot. Shock me if you can.

Moey said...

@moe,

Yum. They look delish. If only I had a man that could cook instead of one that just eats.

Kmaxx said...

I'm loving these Sunday night (early start) games. Means I don't have to be up until 2.00 am on a school night.

Now GYFCHG!

moeman said...

Moey, you are incorrigible!

Bill 101 said...

GYFicehockeyteamG!!!

moeman said...

Also, as per Moey up-thread, when Kakaberle left the leaf were in 10th. The leaf are now in, 10th.

Moey said...

@moe,

What really blew me away is when they asked Kaka if he would have re-signed with the leaf if they wanted him he said yes. It's not only the fans that are brainwashed and delusional, so are the players. I guess winning just isn't part of their collective DNA.

moeman said...

Very true Moey. Kakaberle spent 12 years losing as part of a losing organization yet is still struck with blue and white disease, for which, thank God, there is no cure. I doubt Burkkake takes him back but it'll be fun to see the Bs get a faceful.

HabsFan29 said...

ok let's see some competence!

Auld starting?

moeman said...

brunet (STFU!) says HE expects a great performance by José T. So did the strippers. Also, denis gauthier not only can't string sentences, he crash can't skate.

moeman said...

Aie-yi-yi, gauthier (denis) pulled 'notre' twice. You ain't a Hab, no matter what BR wished, whilst slagging Bob Gainey of course.

Kmaxx said...

Anyone know where I can pick up a stream tonight - my usual suspects are not cooperating

iRiRi said...

Let's go, boys! A win tonight would make Monday bearable.

GO BULLDOGS!

moeman said...

White!

HabsFan29 said...

White!

iRiRi said...

White!!!

iRiRi said...

Oh, how I've missed you, Theo.

moeman said...

Guess we can label that a White CHicken meat goal.

Number31 said...

Thank you for shocking me, Pouliot.

RYAN WHITE SCORED HIS FIRST REAL NHL GOAL!!!

moeman said...

@29, "Auld starting?"

Oui.

moeman said...

Does White have a nickname? If not, how's about CHrest? He brightens, fills in cavities and strengthens the enamel.

moeman said...

White stoned.

HabsFan29 said...

BlanCHe?

k kid i have to go out for a drunken 29 family dinner. be excellent to each other

Number31 said...

I love Ryan White.

moeman said...

BlanCHe DuBois, cuz the kid is made of hard wood, E-Z mcsplooge.

iRiRi said...

CHrest has some nice hair. Good fight too.

Say Hi to mom of 29!

moeman said...

Hey kidz, the CHat is away, shall the mice play?

moeman said...

Tits! Large!

iRiRi said...

AK46!

moeman said...

Hey, brunet, STFU!

Also, nice pass Cal Clusterfuck.

Number31 said...

Actually Stoner should have gone for charging. Oh well.

Kmaxx said...

Please guys (and ladies) - Anyone got a working feed for this game?

Orangeman said...

Just tuning in here. Nice to see White has two-thirds of a Gordie Howe hat trick already. Also nice to see an early lead. Everything is nice.

moeman said...

Kmaxx, tried http://atdhenet.tv/ ?

Kmaxx said...

@moeman - they are not playing ball tonight...Any other suggestions?

Orangeman said...

@Kmaxx: try atdhe.me or justin.tv --> exou09 channel. If those fail, try www.myp2p.eu.

moeman said...

cbc/hnic has a feed no?

moeman said...

bob cold/fx gets Thibodeau's name right.

Moey said...

Poor Theo. He's just another pretty face.

moeman said...

@Moey, with a Hart.

moeman said...

One, too, many, passes.

lehab said...

the system is competent

moeman said...

The PP isn't.

Kmaxx said...

@O Man - Knew you'd surface with the answer sooner or later! Thanks very much - found the Exnordic channel - lagsa bit but better than nothing. ATDHENET.TV has no hockey at all tonight. And the CBC feed is only good if you are in Canada - which I ain't.

So how's theAA working out so far then?

Number31 said...

When they play like that, I feel they can beat anyone ♥

Orangeman said...

There is a differnce between atdhetv.net and atdhe.me, although I don't know if either are showing hockey tonight. Isn't it midnight in England? Up late are we?

moeman said...

heh, pj stock simultaneously slagging Mario Lemieux and praising 'grapes', what a sick, vile POS cbc/hnic toady.

moeman said...

BUF & NJ putting nails in the coffin'd leaf parade. Its gonna be a sunny Spring Monday mourn.

moeman said...

PFK!

iRiRi said...

PFK!!! Beautiful!

moeman said...

Celebrate that beauty goal you media fucks.

Number31 said...

That was GORGEOUS. PK runs laps. Goal of the year (for a Hab anyway).

iRiRi said...

And White gets his Gordie How hat trick!

Anonymous said...

Geordie Howe hattrick!!!

moeman said...

Whizzzzzzzzzzed!

iRiRi said...

CHeez Wiz!!!

*faints*

Number31 said...

CAGE FACE!
Theo is being hung out to dry and Tomas Jagr isn't even playing. Mwahahaha...

Number31 said...

Auld got a point! Even the goalies are scoring!

Orangeman said...

I'm happy and all, but the last time they had a 4-0 lead in the 2nd we all remember what happened. So I'll remain guarded.

moeman said...

Whilst here, congrats to the (Ryan) WhiteCaps!

... and nice thin stanchions Wild.

My namesake, MOEman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iRiRi said...

MOEmaN! Wings!

Orangeman said...

Love Cole's mumbling on that goal "Another goal...they're coming too fast here..."

Number31 said...

Free wings from Saskatcheplow!

moeman said...

0-man, your loins are safe!

moeman said...

bob cold/fx died in 1993.

moeman said...

Hope Palumalu is OK.

moeman said...

bobcoldism: "Shots are almost even kidz", so thats nice.

Moey said...

So, are the Habs really good or is Minny just really bad?

Kmaxx said...

@O Man - time difference is only 4 hours and may I say...PFK!!

Nice one...

So back to the UK - time changes next week I think.

ATDHE.NET was arrested I think - God I miss Nad & Pic!

iRiRi said...

PFK!!! I. CAN'T. EVEN.

moeman said...

PFRocKet!

moeman said...

@Moey, we should defer to bob cold/fx

iRiRi said...

Is it greedy to want a PFK hat trick!

PFK to the haters: "Respect this!"

Anonymous said...

Minny is that bad

Moey said...

Well one thing is for sure. The boys will get their asses kicked after this game by JM. Six goals? Unacceptable. Stick to the system.

moeman said...

Told ya kidz. mediots would slag PFK!'s goal celebration. They are afraid of grapes.

moeman said...

What a disgusting fucking pug pj stuck is. He admits the cbc/hnic panel was looking at each others crotches and were disgusted with PFK!'s celebration on his first goal tonight. Fucking lynCHmob.

Steve said...

Is it a violation of the code for a defensman to complete a hat trick in the thrid period when the home team has not yet scored?

And Chicken may have many flaws in his game, but when its down and dirty he gets his inspiration from FHF

Steve said...

@Moey, it does look like the system out there, considering all the goals, not a lot of Chanibis at all.

Moey said...

@moe,

Off topic, but back to your meal tonight. Deep fryers make me nervous. I know two people who burned down their kitchens with them. The bravest I got was using an electric wok with oil for tempura. Could use the wok for those too I suppose?

Steve said...

I dont know if its a new feature but I have noticed the blog often has very small fonts. I love the extra depth of meaning this gives.

moeman said...

@ Moey, I use a wok, no deep fryer in the household. Gonna try a variation next time and add peas to the pods. Made a nice marinara for dipping. If you make them, no need to serve them too hot.

Moey said...

I just cannot get used to seeing 11 on Gomez. Saku will be the eternal number 11 for me.

moeman said...

PFTroiKa!

Orangeman said...

Hat trick!

iRiRi said...

PFhattricK!!! Quick, someone pinCH me!

moeman said...

@Steve, small fonts are to be savoured like small breasts. Discover and enjoy.

Steve said...

Total violation of the code, total lack of respect, totally awesome!! PFK PFK PFK

Moey said...

@moe,

Cool. I'll use the wok.

moeman said...

Sadly methinks the CotU-based mediots will find a way to slag PFK!'s first of many threesomes. Jealous and envious fuckers.

Well done P F K!!!

moeman said...

Not sure who is reviewing the game but there better be lotsa ménage-à-PFK! references.

msevigny said...

Has Auld been trained to do the triple low-five yet? This is important.

Steve said...

Cluttterbuck, fuck Cherry could do a whole hour on his code violations, talk about the guy with the pron stache.

moeman said...

Good point msevigny. CHocula should call a timeout just for that. Bonus, Kirk draws it up on the board.

Looks like Clusterfuck wants to fuck some cluster.

Steve said...

I want that Stoner on our team, he is great at the high slot

moeman said...

Sabres clusterfuck it whilst Nashville rookie Blake Geoffrion scored three goals. CH lineage kidz. BUF stills takes a point to put a Denver boot on the leaf parade.

moeman said...

If the Habs ever acquire Stoner he will be named munCHies.

moeman said...

Flutterpuck is the only Wild playing.

iRiRi said...

Mex down? Noooooooooo.

I keed. I keed.

moeman said...

bob cold/fx commenting on PFK!'s 'bad pass'. Sure thing you senile fool.

msevigny said...

I feel a little bad for Clutterbuck, at least he's still trying. It's probably for the best he got kicked out of the game though because all he was going to accomplish in this game was starting a half-assed brawl.

Steve said...

UN imposes a no fly zone on Clustrfuck. Stoner protests, like no flying man, that suck man

Moey said...

Speaking of munCHies, I could go for some corn puffs. Good old fashioned styrofoam with salt. Yum.

moeman said...

Offside by 10 feet.

moeman said...

bob cold/fx admits to looking at the scoreboard to get his updates. Funnier, he can't believe the score he's looking at. What a fucking moron.

Steve said...

I just got a tweet from Aulds agent
"best backup goalie in NHL"
Until today I shit bricks every time I hear his name.

If your Choucla you should give him the next start, so of course TFS will play.

moeman said...

How sick is bob cold/fx's excitement after shouting that Auld's shutout was in doubt. What a sick fuck.

iRiRi said...

Right after Cold says the s word a gazillion times.

Orangeman said...

Of course Bob Cold has to jinx the shutout right as Koivu comes down the ice. At least he finally sounded excited. Jeez, that was a mighty shout from Bob considering the score.

Well, if anyone was going to put it in at least it was a Koivu.

Steve said...

Buttman, fuck I thought he was off today giving head to his priest. Bullshit call, but pretty goal.

moeman said...

bettman is Catholic? if so, he'll be burning in hell.

I love Pie!

Eat it bob cold, you sick fuck.

Steve said...

Pyatts got a stick? Nice goal repeat often.

moeman said...

bob cold/fx 'this one is done'. Retire already you old fool.

msevigny said...

I had to laugh at Bob Cole's completely bored reaction to the 8-1 goal. Someone's missing his afternoon nap.

Orangeman said...

Anyone remember the last time the Habs blew out a team? Scored 8 goals? I believe they beat the Canes 7-2 in December, but I don't remember it being this easy.

Steve said...

All little Napoleons are Catholic, geez whats the connection, blowing Gabriell horn I think. And why do they all call themselves Gabriel.

moeman said...

bob cold/fx has no fucking idea what is happening on the ice. Take him behind the woodshed already.

Steve said...

Bob Cole

The puck is moving around, and now its moving, shot somewhere is the puck, did you hear about the leafs. puck moving whistle."

moeman said...

mclame sucks bob cold/fx's cold dick as the game ends. What a sick bunch of inbred fucktards.

iRiRi said...

Well, that certainly was pleasant. Beats the he'll out of the Sunday night blues.

moeman said...

mclame drops yet another toronto-based pukefest comment.

moeman said...

Kidz, juxtapose the beauty of PFK!'s style and smile to the horrid racism displayed by cbc/hnic's resident hood last night. pj stuck aims to please 'grapes' by ragging the kid. Sick, disgusting fucks.

msevigny said...

Don't worry frightened white people, Hal Gill will civilize this young savage.

moeman said...

pj has no clue what he is saying. None. He is in no way representative as a voice for the Habs. He is p jerk stuck. Pure asshole.

moeman said...

mclame 'we'? What, you aren't part of the decision making. You people praise losers like the leaf to the detriment of the game. Get lost.

moeman said...

heh, mclame starts listing goalies and starts with cujo and belfour. Wonder why? Biased piece of shit.

Steve said...

Cujo won all those cups in Toronto dont forget that.

What the fuck was Pyjammas talking about Gill sweeping everything under the carpet. PFK should not have got a hattrick because he has enough confidence to make a move a handful of players can do, its against the code.

moeman said...

'Burn after Reading' is on Bravo. Good night FHFers.

Orangeman said...

Hey, now with 87 points, this is the same amount as last season.

HabsFan29 said...

so what'd i miss?

luckily even the nicest restos in this city (Zenta on St Laurent tonight - excellent!) have a big screen TV and show hockey. i love this town. mom of 29 couldn't take her eyes off the tv, god bless her. she's still pissed Auld lost the shutout

Le Douze said...

Well that was pretty fucking sweet. PFK for the Norris! (well, some year.)

iRiRi said...

Cammy tweets: Congrats PK!

the Maritimer said...

I'm late to the party, only got to see the third period. What is this, Bizarro World? 8 goals? Wow!!

@Moey, as much as I admired Saku and God love him, he was pretty much by himself for years, the last great #11 for me was Kirk Muller. I still curse Serge Savard for trading him for Turgeon.

Steve said...

@Maritimer, it may be blasphemy but my number 11 was Gilbert Perault.

HabsFan29 said...

the only number 11 is Yvon Lambert

Number31 said...

OK so I threw my hat at the TV.