Wednesday, March 02, 2011

COMPETENCE, bitCHes! Habs 3, Thrash 1


There's been a lot of talk lately around here about this team. Yeah, it's a Habs blog so there should be I guess, though it's more fun talking about rolling up the rim to win. Lots of the hockey talk is about how we, as FHF bloggers and commentors, treat the team, coaches, and management. I thought it would go all away when Squidly77 went away and we could get back to the Timmy's vs. Starbucks debate, but it returned late last night in the form of a new commenter, one "ilikemontrealcanadiens" (hereinafter "ilike") who wrote:

"How about we look for the positives people. We're supposed to be fans not haters of this team."

Hmm, that got me thinking. Do I dive into HIO delusional love, or do I embrace what HF10 wrote last week after the Leaf loss:

"I refuse to be caught in 6th to 10th, middle-round drafting, out in the second round purgatory with that fucking stupid fool jotting shit down behind the bench as his players get fucked by the refs and trampled trying to play his useless system."

Valid point 10, and your use of expletives as nouns, verbs, and adjectives in one sentence lends true credibility your argument. But at the risk of throwing my fellow blogger under the bus, I am going to have to side with ilike here. We're fans goddammit, and we should embrace all the positives of this team. The Goat said there were no deals to be made on deadline day but he was satisfied with the team that was COMPETENT. You can't fucking beat that people, this team is COMPETENT. And I, for one, will embrace the COMPETENCE. For years (probably since Saint Patrick left) we've all said this team has needed an identity. We'll we've got it now, people, and it's COMPETENCE. And last night the COMPETENCE was on full display, and it resulted in a win! Praise Jebus!

Allowing 40 shots while only giving up one goal? COMPETENCE. Killing 7 penalties including your league-leading 11th and 12th Too Many Men penalties? COMPETENCE. Giving up your own PP's by taking penalties of your own? COMPETENCE. The slowest defense in the league keeping the shots from the outside and clearing rebounds? COMPETENCE. Mex giving up a shot on an empty goal at the side of the net to pass it back to the point? COMPETENCE. Hey, he's a passer, people, don't blame him. For the Habs to be COMPETENT, everyone has to play their role. Mex knows that.

We even had some players rise above COMPETENT last night. PatCHes, Price, and CHeez Whiz all rose above the high standard The Goat has set for this team. They should be praised, but no doubt CHokula will give them all a stern talking to. For The System to work, everyone has to play with COMPETENCE. Anything beyond that is just wasted energy. It's why CHokula seems to refuse to put PFK on the PP now. He just knows PFK will be creative with the puck and create chances no other D on this team would. JM can't have that. He demands only COMPETENCE and he will get it at any price. Or Price.

Enjoy these long-form video highlights bitCHes. They're competent.

58 comments:

lawyergirl77 said...

29, this was seriously friggin' brilliant. Well done, my man.

THIS TEAM ROX MY COMPETENT SOX!!

le Baruche said...

Great Job 29. Unfortunately we live in the fucken Bettman mediocrity era where Stanley Cup champions have to trade off half of their best players immediately after the parade. Even a perennial contender like Detroit can't build a real dynasty. Its true, though, Canadiens have been languishing for far to long, that is, for anyone who remembers the dominant teams of yore. But Montreal has changed too... the nationalist years turned from an economic powerhouse into a hipster flophouse running on Hydro and black markets.
The core of the problem is, for me, and so many others, the obligation of the coach to be francophone. [a href="http://www.cyberpresse.ca/chroniqueurs/rejean-tremblay/201102/28/01-4374812-largent-des-vacances.php"]Réjean Tremblay's splooging over Goats eloquence in French epitomizes this attitude[/a]. Though I generally consider Goat pretty savvy... all I can say is Scotty Bowman didn't need to speak French. point finale.

Anonymous said...

Sigh. We live in Quebec. Yes indeed, it's a good thing to have a coach who can speak English, as a courtesy to our Anglophones.

VTHABSFAN said...

As I rarely find this blog worthwhile anymore, I still can't seem to remove it from my bookmarks. This post is the type that keeps me coming back, just like the girlfriend who is annoying and but keeps you hooked on the occasional really good sex.
Funny stuff.
Be nice people.

Kmaxx said...

@V - not sure how, as a Habs fan, you can't find this blog useful - this blog is written by true fans - not the hacks that are paid to do it - and that is the key to remember - these guys are not paid dime one to write this blog. I live out of town and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't have my FHF fix every day. I suppose if you just want to hear that all is well in Habs land then you can find a lot of that stuff elsewhere. If you want to know what's really going on, with a bit of Quebequois culture and good, healthy leaf bashing thrown in for good measure, then you need to tune in more...but that is just my view and I'm not being paid for it either!

@29 - another awesome post! I was following the game via the comments last night and I had an honest to goodness chuckle when I read Moeman's comment that stated simply: GYFCHG!

btw @LG - I used to get my streams for the games on adthe.net - but the FBI appear to have taken thenm over so try adthenet.tv - it still works. Failing that I paid 10 bucks (for the entire year!) to www.watchlivenhl.com - good streams english & french!

Steve said...

Its so easy to hate, so hard to love.
I love the team speed, I hate that the system calls for afterburners on the backcheck only.
I love that we went out for free agents, I hate that one of them was Gomez.
I love that TFS and PFK mean the Habs will be competent for at least another decade. I hate that the system means PFK has a choker chain on.
I hate competence and love excellence. I love esprit and elan, and hate that this team is not allowed to display it.

Le Douze said...

@steve - an unexpected bit of eloquence. [swallows lump in throat]. maybe you have a career a-waiting at Hallmark?

Hadulf said...

@Steve - unfortunately, Gomez was not a free agent. We traded for him. It's like we WANTED him (and his fat contract) on our team. Ugh.

Other than that - Hallmark, watch out!

Ok, 2 points...we'll take them. How can we explain that debacle!!! On the Thrashers' goal, "Sopes" (can't remember the FHF alias...) made a nasty turnover. I hope this is not what we should expect from him...

moeman said...

Nice post CHarlie29.

Methinks in order to re-aCHieve excellence our Habs maybe need to visit Dr. SCHadenfreude and get Patrick Roy back in some capacity. I know, a blasphemous blathering but my bigger worry is the NewDiques snagging him sooner than later.

Bill 101 said...

I find this blog useful for maintaining what remains of my mental health

wv: if I run into you guys at the e-bar, I'll pay therbil

Playoffs on the horizon

GYFHG

lawyergirl77 said...

@Kmaxx - tks for the tip (and the compliments). I liked Justin.tv because I can get it on my iPhone... but I'll try to find some other way. Leaving for Florida tomorrow and I've got to be able to watch the Habs-Booins game on Tuesday, dammit!!

Steve said...

@Moeman, yes yes yes I hate that I take joy at the pain and embarrassment that are the Leafs.

I want St Patrick, and on that note what the fuck is wrong with Larry Robinson, and even giving Carbo another shot. This team shows flashes of absolute brilliance, remember the one game they won against Philly last year.

Steve said...

@handulf, I knew that but I guessed it was so traumatic I blocked it out.

GoldenGirl11 said...

So whad'I miss?

Steve said...

A new Tim Hortons commercial that is the worst ever, and an existential struggle between blind faith and reason.

Habsfan10 said...

I got your fucking competence right here, 29!

Moey said...

Hilarious 29, made me choke on my diet Pepsi. Not pretty.

bea.habs./fan said...

I'm so disappointed that I missed both a competent game, a discussion on coffee and new trolls.
but That's what happens when you check FHF early and confuse Game Day Skate with The Morning Skate and ofrget to check your Reno Depot Canadien schedule on your fridge right in front of your eyes (my dieting might have something to do with that last bit).
i have to admit that since Gorges went down my heart is not in it as much - I miss my rubber man

Steve said...

I think Mike Boone captured the Zeitgeist of the Competence Era well with his evaluation of Mex last night.

" but I've seen him worse. How's that for high praise?"

I love that Mex did not play his worse game ever.

HeadHunter said...

@29 ~ Spot on post but kudos to all the regulars as I rarely find anything not spot on at FHF.

Competence would explain the Too Many penalties because when you are assessed that many in one season, you have to be pretty competent at it. It would also explain the pock-marked shell the team was forced into by the system for 37 or so minutes of the game. The H may not be for Habs but the C is damn well sure for competent.

ilikemontrealcanadiens said...

Fair comment. We're a competent outfit thats true enough.

In the salary cap era how many teams maintain a standard that is above competent year after year?
Answer : Detroit.

Other than that you can be a perennial sucker like Florida or Columbus. An up and downer like Tampa, Philly, Chicago, Anaheim or a Competent team thats always in the reckoning, like us.

And me? Im happy with that. I don't want to be a leaf fan who never gets to experience the huge thrill of winning a playoff series. I like being in the playoffs each year its so much fun. I loved watching Halak stone Pittsburgh and Washington. I loved Squids goals and PKs exuberance.

Do I think Gomez is overpaid ? Sure.
Do we need to go on and on about it? up to you I guess its your blog.
Whats up with the Chocula hatred though? He's done some great things with this team. Why bring the hate against a coach who in his first season led us to the conference finals and is now getting us within sniffing distance of the top of the east again?
Seriously - name one bilingual coach who could have done a better job in that time?
Sure he's defensive minded at times but that doesnt bother me. We score a dozen or so less goals than a few other teams but we get half a dozen more points and make the playoffs. Yeah I'll take the playoffs please.

This is professional sports and Defense in the modern era is king. If you cannot defend your goal properly you will get beat up again and again and besides that stupid game against the Bruins where we did get beat up I cannot recall one other time this year that we've been spat out.

So yeah. I love this team and I read this blog. Im just trying to show a little love to the CH.

Steve said...

@ilike, I am likely way off base, but I doubt you lived through the era that gave the FHF their handles. Anyone who was living that in their formative years can never be satisfied with competence. I would rather see the Habs lose every game than to win by absorbing 40 shots and playing most the game in your own zone.

You dont have to be Sam Pollock to see that JM has not had a sofware upgrade since he coached St Louis. He defines competence and he does it well, but the opportunity cost of such a strategy is similar to undertaking a land war in Asia, you just do not play that way if you are Montreal.

I was thrilled with the run last year, and you are correct that Martin's methods are reliable, but in this era where every team is equal, you need a coach who know how to make fire on ice to win the cup.

Daddy Says said...

Just so you all are aware, TSN used the handle PatCHes this morning. Now if I were a lawyer....

GYFHG

Steve said...

Hope TSN pops out a Squid, TFS or PFK and then FHF will be running TSN. First order of business has involves McSplooge, a toothbrush and the urinals at the Bell Center.

HeadHunter said...

@steve, I like your analogy. One cannot deny some of the things CHokula has done just like one cannot overlook some of the negatives he has brought to the table. I am no fan of him or his notepad and whomever one thinks was the brain trust behind last year's bench, I would have a hard time believing that JM didn't have a small part.

That being said, I give kudos to your point as I think back to the Flyers series a couple years ago. Did the Habs need great goaltending? Yeah they did. Huet was not 100% to the task, the Phuktards played their style, but one can forget that Montreal was shooting and playing offense in that series. A little issue named Biron popped up and MTL pooped out. Sure the size of the team presented its ever present head, especially in protecting the crease, but the team has shown that it can play offense and have an at least competent netminder and not implode.

There needs to be greater balance between the shell and the blitz and I do think this team has the players to find it. It just needs a coaching staff to help it find it and not crack down when they make a mistake or two or 40.

Steve said...

@headhunter

Blitz and shell balance, fucking brilliant analysis of the problem.

Choucula " when I make this face its blitz, when I make this face its shell"

PFK " but your face never changes, I mean never, I have been here over a year and you only have one face"

Choucula "you enjoy your time in Hamilton and I shall attempt to be two faced"

Orangeman said...

Oh, shut up everybody. I hate my Habs like I hate my mother. I know her best and can say whatever I want about her, but I will stab anyone in the cock who dares look at her the wrong way. Because she's my Mom. I bitch about my Habs on a Habs blog because I have such high aspirations for them that nothing less than perfection is good enough. But, trust me, dare anyone else talk shit about Les Glorieux, especially a dirty leaf fan, and I will stab them in the cock. And if I were to meet a Hab, maybe even Gomez, I'd be all "Dur, you're good and stuff".

Maybe I share 10's blind rage at times because we were Hab kids who grew up in leaf country. I have literally both physically and emotionally paid my goddamn dues to be a Habs fan. I don't have to prove myself by being all lovey dovey on the internet. You love 'em your way, I'll love 'em mine.

I will be hard on my Habs because I have seen what blind adoration of a mediocre/terrible team does. I will not be a leaf fan who thinks a 22 goal scorer is a 'sniper' or a call up goalie who is somewhat less terrible than the previous one is 'the saviour'. I will not suck a limp dick. I will smack it around until it commands my attention.

Ok, maybe that last analogy wasn't the best, but my point still stands. I will give praise where and when it's due but I won't sell my hard earned right to curse this team at the many frustrating instances they provide.

In closing, FUCK GOMEZ.

moeman said...

GYFPensG!

Steve said...

I think the existential question has been answered, and its not just this blog, its across the universe of Hab media. Stop peeing on our leg and telling us its raining or we will stab you in the cock.

Steve said...

@moeman, divide and conquer. I do not want to see the fucking Bruins get another high draft pick from the hapless Leafs. I want Tarona to finish in the playoffs or out of the lottery.

Moey said...

O'man,

Okay fine. But please do me one little favor before I snap like a twig, ENOUGH OF THE GOMER, IT'S LIKE A FRICKIN' MEXICAN WATER TORTURE! WE ALL GET IT, YOU DON'T LIKE HIM! DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND SLAP YOU!

*runs into field screaming*

moeman said...

Imagine if tsn sucked the Habs as much as they do their leaf. They're disgusting.

Moey said...

@moe,

I'm going to watch a bit of this leaf game.

Oh! Kessel has more goals than Ovie! The cup is theirs.

Steve said...

I hate to say it, but Kessel is going to be a force in our capped league.
I saw one game a couple of months ago and he accelerated through a check, impressively.

Anonymous said...

who knew that cheering for the habs would involve so much soul-searching? maybe those eggheads who say habs have replaced the church ar onto something. pass the wine.

HabsFan29 said...

you people are actually watching a Leafs game? i'm impressed at your masochism

I, however, am enjoying the English version of "Nos Canadiens" on TSN2 with the lovely and stupid and annoying Anne-Marie. Hysterically, they translated the title to "YOUR Canadiens"

Moey said...

@29,

I saw that was on but it brings up too many painful memories of what could have been.

Orangeman said...

@Moey: I'm trying to channel the 'rake' scene from the Simpsons. You do something and it's funny, then it becomes unfunny until finally it swings back to being funny again. Family Guy has pretty much beaten this gag to death (along with most others).

iRiRi said...

Moey is right. This is downright depressing.

Moey said...

O'man,

I'm overly sensitive about number 11, it's like rubbing salt in the wound. I'll never get over Saku leaving.

On a brighter note, Pens are up 1 on the leaf. What is up with the huge TSN suckup with the leaf? I truly don't get it. They pick pepper out of fly poop on anything that's remotely positive. It's downright sickening.

moeman said...

Not a masoCHist, just laughing at mcsplooge squeeze one out for kessposito.

Moey said...

*gag* *vomit* leaf tied it.

moeman said...

No Moey, leaf tied it with (according to mcsplooge, who thinks burke is doing magical things) a playoff style goal.

Steve said...

tsn is a fucking virus, just like sportsnet. I listen to the FAN 590 and all they talk about is fucking baseball, what I consider a fine sport for Gay people, not that there is anything wrong with that or musicals.

moeman said...

tsn has blue and white disease.

moeman said...

Phlegmiller to mcsplooge: "Do you know who Greg Pateryn is? Ha Ha Ha."

See kidz, tsn, no matter what, gotta jab the Habs. Fuckers.

iRiRi said...

Hey, remember at the All-Star Game draft when Ovechkin took a picture of Kessel getting picked last?

Well, you see, after a nearly 2 year absence, Ovi started tweeting again today and...

HE JUST TWEETED IT!!!!1!

Moey said...

McSplooge can't even give credit to the Devils picking themselves up by their bootstraps. He really is a loathesome creature.

@moe,

I caught that too. Cliff Fletcher "engineered" the Grabs trade. Like he was frickin' Sam Pollack. Gainey would have taken a bag of pucks to get rid of that little shit.

Number31 said...

@moeman
They're actually jobbing Pateryn...?

Did anyone see the ref totally knock over Desharnais while he was working in the offensive zone? Conspiracy theories abound...

moeman said...

N31, more like propping grabovsky at Pateryn's expense. No call, need or reason for it. Sick fuckers.

Steve said...

Of all the belarussians I would not even pick Graval, he makes me puke. A skating flying wonder going nowhere, he is like a Mex with 6 more points.

Number31 said...

Whatevs. They don't even know who Pateryn is. (Hint, he's a COMPETENT defenceman).

The Leaf just won the Stanley Cup against the WB/S Penguins.

scorewatcher said...

but NJ/TB is ok at least.

Habsfan10 said...

@ Orangeman:

+ 1000 for stabbing people in the willy. And for being a kid behind enemy lines like me. And for telling it like it is - my Habs, my tough love. If I have to rip this team until they are what they should be, so be it. I'll love em to death, but it isn't unconditional.

Can I say fuck Marc-Andre Fleury? For a guy with a Cup on his resume, he sure fucking sucks sometimes.

Number31 said...

...Sometimes? lol

Not that his D was any better. You're an All-Star, Pond Boy.

kennyD said...

Orangeman, "I will not suck a limp dick. I will smack it around until it commands my attention."

You had me at stabbing people in the cock, but this analogy is killer!

10, I am a Habs fan in Ontario and even today people were reminding me, with maniacal little ant killing with a magnifying glass grins, about the Leafs win over the Habs whenever in the near past, I drank that memory away already, but apparently it happened as I am reminded constantly about it. Gloating pricks, so insecure they have to revel in anything resembling some pattern of success.

BTW I do harbour a secret fantasy of the Laffs making the playoffs and killing the Phuckers in the first round.

McPhee said...

COMPETENCE is also finding a place to acknowledge that this "talent-stifling" team is closer to second place in the East than it is to ninth.

I hope you don't mind my "trolling" for the Habs on a Habs blog, btw.I promise I'll try to join in on the "edginess" which is basically ripping into the team that you love.

Now, remember, FHF is a bitchy blog so you guys can't go soft on us all. It's just my job to bitch at you bitching at the Habs. Keeps you honest on your overall assessment. Or at least a little...edgy.

HeadHunter said...

The right of the true fan IS to hate on their team. We may get a lot of sh#t for being Habs fans, that is the cross to bear. But other people hating on the team, not acceptable. Why? Because to others they are simply the opposition, the team that reveals in its history (thanks endless centennial celebration!)and doesn't produce. A team that thankfully doesn't get with the modern NHL size-queen system or goon it up. They hate because they don't know the team, it legacy, its real history or what it really takes to be a fan of MTL, especially in recent years. So bravo O'man, I am all about the junk stabbing. Being a Habs fan has earned us the right to hate/love at will.