Friday, March 04, 2011

Quest for the Grail Continues: Habs 4, Panthers 0

Florida Panther Knight (FPK): None shall pass.

King Carey Price (TFS): What?

FPK: None shall pass!

TFS: I have no quarrel with you, good Florida Panther Knight. But I must cross this bridge and lead the Canadiens to the playoffs.

FPK: Then you shall die.

TFS: I command you, as Saviour of the Greatest Franchise in NHL History, to stand aside!

FPK: I move for no man.

TFS: So be it!

[Hal Gill goal.]

TFS: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!

FPK: 'Tis but a scratch!

TFS: A scratch? Your arm's off! You've traded your top two defencemen!

FPK: No, I haven't! It was only Bryan McCabe and Dennis Wideman!

TFS: Well, what's that then? Bryan Allen?

FPK: I've had worse.

TFS: You liar!

FPK: Come on, you pansy!

[Andrei Kostitsyn absolutely blows one past Tomas Vokoun.]

TFS: Victory is mine!

[celebrates goal - cut off by FPK kicking him and attempting to crash crease]

FPK: Come on, then.

TFS: What?

FPK: Have at you!

TFS: You are indeed brave, Sir Florida Panther Knight, but the fight is mine!

FPK: Oh, had enough, eh?

TFS: Look, you stupid bastard. You've already pulled Tomas Vokoun and put in Scott Clemmensen! You've got no arms or offensive talent left after the trading deadline!  No one on that bench is scoring tonight!

FPK: Yes I have. We didn't trade Stephen Weiss.

TFS: Look!! Half the crowd are wearing Canadiens jerseys!!

FPK: It's just a flesh wound. [Panthers muster some offence.]

TFS: Look, stop that.

FPK: Chicken! Chicken!

TFS: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!

[David Desharnais scores Montreal's third.]

FPK: Right, I'll do you for that!

TFS: You'll what?

FPK: Come here!

TFS: What are you gonna do, bleed on me? Trade us Steve Bernier? Shoot from the red line?

FPK: I'm invincible!

TFS: You're a loony.

FPK: The Florida Panther Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

[Lars Eller with a beautiful tip to make it 4-0.]

FPK: All right; we'll call it a draw.

[Pacioretty and Kostitsyn ring shots off the post.]

TFS: To Tampa, to seek the Grail!

FPK: Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

[Price stops a final flurry and earns his 7th shutout of the year.]

TFS: Triple low fives all around, Sir PK!


Steve said...

I got a flesh wound from laughing so hard, and GG inspired graphic.

HabsFan29 said...

+ 5 (3 sir!) er, 3

outstanding 10

GoldenGirl11 said...

Now that's worth coming back to! Way to go, 10.

Anonymous said...

That was fantastic! And this coming from a Bruins fan no less...

Steve said...

Aside from all the Leaf nonsense its a great day to be a Habs fan. The Kids are way more than alright, TFS is a monster, Mex is actually looking before he passes, Jacques Martin is handling the team brilliantly.

I guess the only discordant note is Moen refers to Lego as Larry.

moeman said...

I blow my nose at you 10!

Not Geoff Molson said...

Anything from the sexy Castle Anthrax?

Mr. natural said...

@10: Now THAT's PHunny!

Keeping on the Pythons theme and since TFS is the Savior you could do a Life of Brian spoof maybe with the sermon from the mount big nose scene.

Keep up all the great stuff.

@ GG sorry this company won't let me see the graphics.

I'm gonna quit. Gotta bride somebody in IT.

Kmaxx said...

@Mr. N - He's not TFS - he's a very naughty boy! But we love him!

KRaZykeV said...

Now THAT, was funny! Great spin on an old classic!!

Bill 101 said...

@Mr N - no doubt the team is working on their Biggus Dickus jokes already

Big cups of mead to 10 & GG!!!

Steve said...

This just in, huge outbreak of Belarussian fever in Toronto, not expected to peak until the first leaf foursome tees off.

Steve said...

@anon Bruin fan, be glad you spoke so well, no SIC for you. said...

Monty Python and a win -= great start to the WE.
thanks 10
I now know what'I'll be doing tonight (and GG)

Anonymous said...


Steve said...

Childish? You could have said immature now you have hurt my feelings.

I show you childish Gorilla goons at work.

Cant wait for March 8 Pretzel Lucic will be straighted out.

Moey said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

I just shat my pants laughing ... at work no less! GYFHG!

Steve said...

Bravely bold Anon Boston Fan commented forth from from goon loserville. Bowled awestruck by the brilliance of FHF,he was not afraid to die should his guttural nature reveal itself, oh brave Anon Boston Fan. A very special Boston resident apparently able to both read and connect to the internet. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Anon Boston Fan. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Anon Boston Fan. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis stabbed..

Orangeman said...

I was on the phone with Revenue Canada and was lazily going through some stuff, so I decided to check out this site in the meantime. I burst out laughing when it loaded just as he assured me that funds from previous years would be transferred. Thanks for the laugh, but if I get audited it's all your fault GG/10!

kevincrumbs said...

What everybody else said... great stuff!

BaconAddict said...


Can't wait until we turn Stamkos into a newt. (he'll get better !)

Steve said...

When even Orangeman has not got my back, I feel kind of emasuculated, like I had been stabbed in the cock.
Some Boston trojin horse comes into my bedroom and sniffing my sheets, and all you ladies are saying Kumbaya. Well you can thank the Giant Spaggiti monster there is on Habs fan that is hard core. I do not care how hard Boston sucks my dick, it will stay limp, I will get hard when we crush them like air pockets that electronic packages come in.

moeman said...

Does anyone, I mean anyone, care what norman flynn and gaston therrien has to say? Anyone?

HabsFan29 said...

kumbaya My Lord, kumbaya

Steve said...

alright I fucking apologize, I gave my Saku rookie card in plexiglass to a random Nashville fan. I have come to recognize that the solution to every problem is not stabbing them in the cock. Let alone the confusion when females are the source.

HabsFan29 said...

don't apologize Steve! we're counting on you to lead the charge into Tuesday's Bs game!

Chenny13 said...


Steve said...

29 Your right. I will use my physic cock power to boing Pretzel Logic. There is nothing gay about that. This is the New NHL, cock stabbing is out,and mind games are in. Who will tell Gary BETTMAN the puck is not round in 3D?

Steve said...

And anon Boston fan, dont come around here anymore saying its funny, like is it funny ha ha or funny like a clown, I know its clown funny to you.
Its like Richard Nixon phoning George Carlin and telling him LOL. Fuck you, you admit to being a Boston fan and I bet your not even the spawn of a slut from that whorehouse.

moeman said...

Good Fellas is hilarious.

chris nilan said...

hey do you arseholes have a rss feed?

Orangeman said...

@Steve: Sorry, I didn't even read through the comments before mine (still haven't!) and I barely skimmed through the rest now but I saw your comment about my backupedness. I back up any insanity or unpopular speech. I'm like the ACLU over here. Maybe you, me and natural can start our own site. Throw in Jeff from HK and we've got the Four Habs FUCKGOMEZPANTSILLKILLYOUALLPHUCKTARDS!. We live to prove the point that the Canadiens have the craziest fans. Literally. I get 10 minutes of internet time per day where I'm kept and I spend it here.

Number31 said...

Awesome. Next up is the killer rabbit in Tampa Bay.

Newlywed Game with Wiz and Moen, needs more Hal Gill.

russ courtnall said...

sweeeeeeeeet. but lego my tits.

Ian Vitro said...

totally effing genius. Thx 10!