Saturday, March 05, 2011

Lego Tits dominating the state of Florida - Bolts preview and open thread


Ever since the demise of the Giant Mexican Chicken and the Giant Mexican Tits, and well, let's face it, anything with Mexican in it, we've been looking for a new decent composite nickname around here. Well for a couple of games at least, Lego Tits has a nice ring to it. A goal and an assist each against the Panthers, and developing CHemistry by the minute.

What's neat about Lego Tits is that if you look at all four lines now, there is a pair of players now who can, at any given instant, have an offensive explosion. Lego-Tits, PleXXXe-Squid, Gio-Mex (I know, I know, work with me here) and DDD-CHicken. Throw a random winger on there who will do the dirty work, and you really can't turn away from the TV for any of the lines. Any of them can score, 5 on 5 or even on the PP. I don't know if CHokula planned it this way or if he just lucked into it (I vote the latter) but whatever, if it lasts, being able to roll four lines is a key to a long playoff run (I know, I know, work with me here).

So before JM screws it all up, lets enjoy the Lego Tits era while it lasts. Maybe they can lead us to a 3-game sweep of this Southern road trip (I know, I know, work with me here). Speaking of, let's set this baby up.

Waiting in line at Legoland Billund - 7 PM puck drop from the Tampa St Pete Times Forum. On the see bee see, depending where you live. Habs have actually won 3 in a row! The Bolts have dropped their last two, moving them down to 3rd in the East, meaning if the playoffs started today they would be our opponent. Bolts have won both games this year, including the last one in Tampa when we were beaten by Cedrick Desjardins of all people.

MegaBloks - Bolts by the Bay seems to have some sort of journalistic approach to blogging. Radical!

Hot like, well, like Lego Tits - Hal Gill is on fire, scoring at a goal per game pace. Tits has 7 points over his last 5, including two game-winning goals. CHeez Whiz is getting points again. TFS of course, who has been great on this road trip. For the Bolts, not too many hot players after 2 losses. Dwayne Roloson playing some decent goal, and is expected to start.

Cold like the Lego ice planet - We seem to have to put Mex here just out of habit, though he is trying harder I think, and if he really is injured, maybe Orangeman will cut him some slack. Steve Stamkos may lead the league in goals, but has only one in his last 10 and is pointless in 3. The whole Tampa offense is sputtering, with 6 goals in their last 4 games. Jinx!

Random thought while I think of large breasts - The Bolts website features the slogan "ALL IN." WTF does that even mean? Are they begging for attendance? Are they encouraging you to gamble? Is it a vague sexual euphemism? So many questions.

Oh shit my 4-year old swallowed a Lego piece. To the hospital! - The usual for the Habs. For the Bolts, Vinny is questionable, and the Urologist is day to day.

Post-game adult entertainment -  Lego porn! God bless the internet. Possibly NSFW? There are actually Lego mcsplooge shots in there.

95 comments:

moeman said...

heh, good sticky fun 29 & GG.

GYFCHG!

L Dude said...

That is a LOT of lego jiz!

If Gomer's got the piles, he should stay the fuck home til he's better. He obviously CANNOT play whilst injured.

That is all.

GYMFHG!

Steve said...

I just have to say, if this blog keeps up the pace making us laugh and snort liquids through or nose, how can the serious people who comment be assured they arrrrr(yes its the pirates ar) Shirley serious,.

Bill101 said...

hoping Gill can keep up the torrid pace!

GYFHG!!

Steve said...

And GG i do not know how you did that graphic but you should send a copy to tits and lego. Its like a Picasso for them.

Alright Habs nation, the lightening are bugs, we can put them in a jar and show our friends what energy efficenty really looks like.

March 8 and mark that on your calender or for you advanced habs fans put a tech tag on your master.

The fucking BRUIS are going to meet our smurfs. Prezel Lucic is like Pronger who can skate and score. The hunchback of chaddipick. Why did i referecne Ted Kennedy, cause its all about Bettman, this game will be a cage match without a double tap. If Ryan White is not in the lineup then turn the other cheek.

Moey said...

And for today's viewing pleasure - Lego porn. FFS.

I'm watching "Son of Lassie". Now that's entertainment.

J.T. said...

Very nice preview, but for accuracy's sake, it should be noted that a four-year-old is much more likely to stick a piece of Lego up her nose than to choke on it. The end result in both cases is a visit to the emergency room, but the wait time for an ENT specialist is much longer than that for the choking doctor.

Make way for unfettered offence! (By our guys, with any luck at all.)

Steve said...

With respect JT megablocks, yeah you cant shove them anywhere, and I tried with Bree Olsen, and they just would not go in.

McPhee said...

Two comments are in order. First, the fact that a given line was played last game, no matter what happened, is usually the safest bet that it won't be in the next. I personally expect a Gomez-Muller-Auld second line tonight.

Second, anyone else noticed this game is sort of for second place in the East? Two games v Tampa, two games v Boston, Habs have their destiny in their hands.

Ah, and a kicker: games in hand, shame in grand. Points on the board are points on the board. Fuck you and your stupid games in hand, you might as well have your dick in your hand for me to punch it better.

It's like saying, this person isn't attractive at all, but hey, what a nice person. If your number of points is where it should be, no one pays attention or should pay attention to the other stat, the amount of games played. Games in hand are by definition a loser statistic, I don't care for mine and fart at yours.

GYFCHG!!!

Steve said...

Hey Mcphee, love you bro but trying to introduce math to this crowd is a tough sell. What I got from you was
GYFHG squared

McPhee said...

Good team? I don't give a shit. Games in hand? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids!

Because there is only one thing, one! that counts in this world: get the black object to pass the line which is red!

- does that seem (more) clear to you, you company man?

Anonymous said...

@McPhee "Go home and play with your kids!"

that's an insult?

Lee said...

OMFG my brother and I had that Lego Ice Planet as kids!!! Awesome.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
More pics are up if you're interested.

Lego porn. A new low.

McPhee said...

@anonymous:

You must stop everything you are doing right now and watch "Glengarry, Glenross". I'm sure it's on Youtube. No person reading this blog should be allowed to not have seen it.


Ps : WV : "oveyous", as in :prone to sing "ovey, ovey-ovey-ovey...oveyyyy, ooooveyyy!"

Orangeman said...

I will cut no slack. However, I must point out that I have softened my hate for Gomez and placed it where it belongs: JM. If he's really injured (and the dog ate his homework, too) then why is he playing 20+ mins a game?

Having said all that, I predict a goal by Gomez tonight just to piss me off. I mean make me happy. I don't even know anymore.

I'm taking my own road trip up to Park Ex tonight to watch this one with friends. Yes, I have those. Well, ex co-workers anyway.

VTHABSFAN said...

Just watched last season's Anakin Slayd video "Feels like 93"
Awesome little pick me up. Seems like so long ago.
http://www.youtube.com/user/annakinslayd#p/u/10/ysDphYqMG6M

Mr. natural said...

OK enough already.

#1 Anon, get a life.
#2 + 3: L Dude & Steve, A- "That is all" has been a sign off of mine used here frequently for some time so CUT IT OUT! and B- Mrs. N has been Shirleyyujest for longer than I can remember so cut that out as well. I think I could find a lawyer through this site if need be...

also, Dear Orangie, LOL: "friends" fellow inmates more likely. How do you get access to the internet so frequently? Warden's office, BIG Gay shower sex with guards? Just wondering, NTTAWWT!

and finally GG Lego Tits, sweet.

GYMFHG!

P.S. Die PHuctards Die!

Anonymous said...

@Mr.n - outstanding irony

Number31 said...

"ALL IN"? All in what?

Right up there with the Pens stupid slogan of "destiny has a new home." (which, looking at their roster, is the IR or Wilkes-Barre/Scranton).

Number31 said...

I love this.

moeman said...

ALL IN AVEC RDS, HOME OF HABS SOUTH.

Steve said...

Good thing Mex has been injured, otherwise he would be playing 30mins. It seems to me the guy is out there constantly, its like Geoff is saying, well if he gets 8 million a year we need close to an hour a game just to amortize the depreciation.

moeman said...

tsn last night, NYR win and all that matters to them is that Ottawa fucked over their leaf.

sn tonight, BUF beats PHI and all that matters to them is that the Flers fucked over their leaf.

Coming up on cbcleaftv, Go Hawks, fuck over their team.

Moey said...

GG,

A new low indeed. I'm off to check out your pics.

McPhee,

Agree! Jack Lemmon was brilliant RIP.

iRiRi said...

That pic is hilarious. That video? Erm, more disturbing than anything.

Rocking the Cammy shirt. Hoping to start a streak. Really want a win from the boys tonight cause I can't stand Vinny et sa bande. AT ALL.

GYFHG!

moeman said...

iRiRi is streakin'?!

iRiRi said...

ONLY if the Habs win tonight!

moeman said...

GO HABS GO!!!

moeman said...

Céline and his 4 year old child haircut, eesh. mad mike, aka cock-roach, loves him some leaf. cock-sucker.

moeman said...

Le Cave is playin'.

Le Douze said...

Didn't the Bolts pick up some really hot new coach in the off-season? Wouldn't it be great if we had a coach like that in our org... um, nevermind.

That Lego porn really doesn't hit the spot for me. I like LG's virtual kink better.


@iRi, I hope the Habs win, could use a lift. Please don't be afraid to post several documentary photos...

moeman said...

Cassie, Hal didn't score (a hockey goal) 'last night' ... and asking the same question twice? Come on, bob cold/fx has a higher body temp.

Go Hawks!

moeman said...

Always been sickened by the cbc/hnic love for headhunter gary roberts. One of the dirtiest players, ever.

moeman said...

milbury is an infection on the game.

Moey said...

Does anyone on HNIT realize that the leaf isn't in a playoff spot yet?

moeman said...

Reimer, seems like a nice kid but he is wearing the wrong/worst jersey in the history of pro hockey. Methinks his goalie gear isn't legit as all pieces look too big. Be fun to see a Demers-ish review during the last game of the season. His mask sucks, hard. 1993 loser Hahahrudey is contractually foaming in his pants for him. Despite mclame's biblical messages and the hyped miracle mennoniteisms, the leaf has never had a great goalie deserving of praise. Nope, not even Bower. (Jacques Plante and Wayne Thomas don't count).

moeman said...

@Moey, cbc/hnic makes their leaf a playoff sure thing in October. It is why we laugh at them and not with them. They aren't hockey fans, just leaf fans.

iRiRi said...

Le Cave? LOVE.

@Le 12 - Sorry, no pics. Video only.

moeman said...

If any of my fellow/feline FHFers wonder why, its because rds gives me crête+gauthier+bouchard. I can handle my intelligence being insulted/bashed in but I need pure comedick entertainment FFS.

GYFHG!

moeman said...

@iRiRi. Video'll be fine. We can freeze frame, grab and re-frame. Make sure the lighting is good.

moeman said...

No leaf in the playoff should(ve) be written into the (repatriated!) Canadian Constitution. I can't believe Pierre Elliott Trudeau didn't think off this as a national rallying cry. Fuddle Duddle! Justin, get, to, work!

moeman said...

They are booing PFK! in FLA? Fuck you lupul, richards and cherry.

moeman said...

Gill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iRiRi said...

Gill!!!

Point per game pace!

Number31 said...

OMFGILL!

iRiRi said...

*Goal-per-game. I was too excited to be coherent.

moeman said...

DDDTits!

iRiRi said...

DD!!!

moeman said...

iRiRi, remember, the lighting.

LeBuuuuut said...

Desharnais! Desharnais! Desharnais! Desharnais!

Number31 said...

DD makes Boucher flip. Pretty goal. Boucher's already muttering to himself and pacing. LOOK OUT. Caged animal coach! (I miss you, coach).

zdog said...

Goal-a-game-Gill and Triple-D-Tits!

Moey said...

That's some sloppy D by Tampa Bay.

Heh.

moeman said...

CHiHox kicking the cbc's leaf in their blue balls. I might just go streakin' in da rain.

Steve said...

Boo hiss stream not on line yet. Gill thinks he's Vodkov th Vodgill
GYFHG

and about time the wheels fell off the leaf bandwagon

moeman said...

Price's post-to-post play is positionally perfect.

moeman said...

Steve Louganis with a 10!

Number31 said...

I think I might like those "superstars" more if they weren't such fucking divers. Lars was unimpressed either.

moeman said...

cbc has this 3Doodad camera to view all angles of fucking sucking leaf play. Who pays for this biased shit?

Number31 said...

Don Cherry just said "chickenshit".

moeman said...

He was looking in a mirror.

iRiRi said...

FUCK.

moeman said...

Holy shit is brunet excited or what?

Number31 said...

Orders are in. There was NO elbowing there douchbag.

iRiRi said...

PatCHes!!!

moeman said...

PatCHes! (after putting PFK! on the fucking PP).

moeman said...

My last post was #67. Lucky?

Number31 said...

I call Stamkos a bitch. McGuire would say "he's competitive".

moeman said...

CHiHox kicking the cbc's leaf in their purple balls. I will go streakin' in da rain.

moeman said...

OMG! headline stuff at hnic. FUGLY leaf bench guy goes and gets 'jiggy's' stick. GoALie change coming up as their miracle net kid doesn't walk on ice water. OMG!

(NB - cbc/hnic says leaf miracle worker now qualifies for official stats which 'might be better than Price's'. OMG!)

moeman said...

mad mad mike is worried about concussions? He was gleefully cheering his Bs dirty play vs. the Habs. Shut the fuck up mike, you cockroach.

moeman said...

LeBrun FTW, 'pussyfication of mike milbury, never thought I'd see it'. TKO!

lawyergirl77 said...

Greetings from Florida bitCHes!

The barn in TB is - gasp - nicer than the Bell Centre. AND it has wifi.

It is also populated by thousands of Habs fans.

Mercifully, we have something to cheer for. But won't somebody free Gionta from his Mexican prison??

lawyergirl77 said...

FWIW - Bolts fans are lovely. Great place to watch a game.

moeman said...

lg, how muCH is a beer? Is it Canadian?

moeman said...

PatCHes<Mex<Gill!

moeman said...

What a fucking save!

LeBuuuuut said...

That was a hook?

moeman said...

ChiHox 5 - leaf 2, crazy craig simpson "the leaf might be back in it". Even their monkey-brained audience knows better. No?

Number31 said...

Are they still calling him "Corey" Price on FS-Lightning or did they finally learn his name?

lawyergirl77 said...

Moe - a 24 ounce Heineken is 11 bucks. Draft beer is $9. Once again, we get HOSED in MTL.

moeman said...

Merci lg. Save some bucks and buy a sixer at the local corner store. NB - they check for ID. Have fun, play safe.

iRiRi said...

Good. We can go for the empty netter now and get wings (I know, I know, work with me here).

Number31 said...

FUCK THIS REF!
Goalie interference? No.
Habs would have been on the PP. Instead, it's ho-fucking-hum and they score.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
I don't think I could take a playoff series with this ridiculous franchise.

LeBuuuuut said...

Lightning announcer, "Gomez is content to gallop around the net." He just about summed up the whole year there.

McPhee said...

Had we won one more game v. Phucking Phlyers, we'd be three points out of first place in the East tomorrow morning.

Boucher is physically scaring, especially when trailing.

iRiRi said...

FFS.

Amendment: streaking will only occur if the FUCKING BAG THE EMPTY NETTER ALREADY!

LeBuuuuut said...

Can they do some empty net shooting in practice?

LeBuuuuut said...

Good game tonight.

Number31 said...

I wanted Price to score :(
Oh well, in your fugly face, ref!

Southern Swing: 3-0
Sopel Era: 4-0
Porridge the Bears!

moeman said...

No CHanging the rules iRiRi.

Steve said...

Start building a hate factory for Boston, I hate them, GYGHG.

HabsFan29 said...

just got in. what'd i miss?

HAL GILL ON FIRE!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

AND the Leafs lost AND i'm drunk. this Saturday night is alright