Thursday, March 17, 2011

Lightning Look to (Sham)Rock the Bell Centre: City O' Tampa Game Preview and O'Pen Thread

Well, boyos, here we be on what might be one of the most cataclysmic party days ever: St. Patrick's Day collides with the first real night of March Madness with a Habs game tossed on top like the cheese on your Irish sourdough bread appetizer. Grab a Guinness at grab a good seat early cause the fists and pucks will be flyin' like pint glasses at Old Paddy Houlihan's wake after Paddy's missus caught wind of his dalliance with Brenda McGarrigle in Galway in ought-four.

Stay where yer at, I'll come where yer to: Tonight, at the old Bell Centre, where the real St. Patrick's banner hangs like Michael after stealing Trevelyan's corn in Fields of Athenry. 7:30 on RDS, TSN-Habs, and for those of you on March break, the Sunshine Network down South. Only one quibble with this St. Patrick's Day dust-up. The Lightning? Man the NHL misses some sitters don't they? Why not make use of your iconic franchises in towns with big Irish populations and throw together a slate consisting of any combos of Boston/NY Rangers/Chicago/Montreal and Toronto (in their old St. Pats uniforms) and have at it? If there's a sixth team in a place with a big Irish population, send 'em this way - I don't think Detroit cuts it, but if they do the matchups are brilliant.  Anyway, Lightning are 4-4-2 over their last ten, Habs are 7-3 after the loss to Washington on Tuesday.

Hot like the fire of Cú Chulainn's battle in the Táin Bó Cúailnge: Lightning sniper Stephen Bertie O'Stamkos is more deadly than an IRA operative from the hash marks. Martin St. Patrick St. Louis remains the engine driving the City O' Tampa, with 4 points in his past two and closing in on another 90 + point season. Until recently, Simon Sean Ryan O'Gagne was solidly in the cold section, but has 4 points in his last 2. For Montreal, Leprechaun David Mickey O'Desharnais found a pot of gold in his play on Tuesday when placed beside Michael Patrick O'Cammalleri after injuries felled Thomas Michael O'Plekanec and Geoffrey Stephen O'Halpern. Once again, Pernell Karl Sheamus O'Subban wowed the crowd with more moves than a Riverdance marathon on Setanta.

Cold like a dew-covered Blarney Stone on a crisp morning before the first tourist bends their arse down for a peck: Workhorse D Roman Ronan Rory O'Hamrlik is pointless in 7, not good for a man logging so much time. Lars Rourke O'Eller has cooled slightly. Benjamin Patrick Flaherty O'Pouliot is pointless in 5. For the City O'Tampa, much maligned (recently) pivot Vincent David Declan O'Lecavalier is like the hockey version of U2: once in the conversation as best in the world, now just a huge financial hit and increasingly irrelevant to all but a few who believe he's one step from a monster comeback.

Broken like the Irish people after the Battle of Clontarf: Well, the Habs room looks like a Kerry jail after a Celtic/Rangers match with all the broken and bruised. You know about O'Markov, O'Gorges, O'Spacek, O'Darche, O'Pacioretty, and O'Sopel. But O'Gill, O'Plekanec and O'Halpern are all questionable, so Nigel Michael Patrick O'Dawes and Aaron Eamonn Ian Palushaj have journeyed up from Hamilton just in case. For the Lightning, Ryan Patrick Patrick Patrick O'Malone, Stephen Sean O'Downie and Randy Rory Iain O'Jones are two shamrocks short of a four-leaf clover, and Pavel Mickey Joseph O'Kubina is probable after serving a suspension for the old Belfast elbow he threw.

Better Reading than the Book of Kells at Trinity College: The boyos at Raw Charge  would probably raise a pint of Guinness with you if you asked, and hated the Panthers.

Post match entertainment and pint raising: Well, since the GREATEST PUB IN MONTREAL the Old Dublin left it's original, brilliant hole-in-the-wall home, Hurley's has taken the Irish pub crown by default in Montreal. But I have new for you - if you're reading this and you aren't there yet, forget it. Ireland has a better chance of qualifying for the World Cup than you have of getting in now, unless you know the owners - or you can play the fiddle better than our good friend Brabander ... which you can't.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody!  Hey, remember when St. Patrick's Day was in late May/early June back in 1993?  That was fun.  Drink up in the comments.

134 comments:

Kmaxx said...

Slainte - Now GYFCHG!

Steve said...

May Erin go braless 10, great tribute. And a special thanks to Gill for turning himself literally green.

GYGHG

soperman said...

Question: Since Hurley's is the official FourHabsFans headquarters, do you get front of the line privledges and a table reservation?

In Breaking News: Mike Murphy (Campbell recused himself as his phuckphace son is on the Broons) assessed the Marchand hit on Umburger and, in a decision that PhuckPhace Bettman says the league is extremely comfortable with, Umberger received a four game suspension for hitting Marchand in the elbow with his face.

Don Phuckphace Cherry commented that this is appropriated because Umberger was asking to be hurt by reaching for a puck and allowing the diminutive Marchand to reach his face with an elbow.

That is all.

Steve said...

@soperman that was funny HA HA, not funny like a clown

soperman said...

@ steve

Clown's my day job.

soperman said...

or economist. same thing.

Chester said...

That's pretty good for some guys from Cote St O'luc.
The Battle of Clontarf ?...?
K that's going back. However that taught people not to fuck with the Vikings. Great news about O'Patches. Go Habs.

moeman said...

Kiss me, I'm a Habs fan.

Well done O'10 and O'GG.

lawyergirl77 said...

Jaysus Mary and Joseph 10 + GG - I'm not worthy... *bows*

Anonymous said...

one can only wonder if paciorettys status after the 'incident'was overblown and possibly even fabricated what with him leaving the hospital so soon and now a timetable for return?

Hadulf said...

I can't believe this is not a little, uh, premature?

I say, stay home PatCHes. Come back next year...

Bill 101 said...

HolyMaryMotherofGod!!

Jaysus! bring on a miracle

GYFHG!!

and fer Christ's sake, get better Habbies

to himself "donotfeedtroll donotfeedtroll donotfeedtroll..."

HabsFan29 said...

*pours first Bushmills of the day*
*raises glass*

"To 10 and GG!"

*chugs*

*repeats*

Steve said...

@Hadulf, now that he can spin his head 180 degrees he should be at less risk. I agree with you, stay home Patches(at least until the 2nd round)

O'RiRi said...

Awesome work, 10 & GG!

Not gonna lie, our lineup for tonight scares me. Then again, whenever I expect the worst from this team, they seem to pull out a win. *fingers crossed*

GYFHG!

Steve said...

We got a reclaim project in DAWES, he has an addiction to Tim Hortons that has hurt his career.

And I am going to call him Pasta is a great prospect.

The season started with the system, meh, then Chanibis System, for the playoffs its Cheth. Armies of highly skilled smurfs rotated through the lineup on a game to game basis. Brilliant Paradigm shift.

Chester said...

Don't forget that O'Patches is a Merican. It's been my experience that they have hard heads.

Steve said...

Pasta is Merican as well, pretty soon the team will be known as the Hard Headed Freedom Fighters

Moey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Moey said...

A Habs Irish blessing

May the ice rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the lights of the Bell Center shine warm upon your face,
and pucks fall soft upon your sticks.

And when this season is over,
May you hold Lord Stanley's cup in the palm of your hands.

Amen.

HabsFan29 said...

Amen, Moey!

Moey said...

Oh, and congrats to GG, nice feature article in HIO. GG's married to a groinocologist.

Steve said...

@Moey beautiful sentiments.

I was going to rework "before the devil knows your dead" with Preztel and Chara, but I would not say that even about them. Maybe "and may the police lock you in a cage, that Buttman can not open"

HabsFan29 said...

ok im off to get drunk before the game! er, more drunk. have fun kids

moeman said...

rds already splooging on the Urologist, says that he is the reason the Habs made the playoffs.

the Maritimer said...

Faith and Begorrah!

Go Habs Go!!!

Steve said...

I am kidna disquieted at all the revelations coming out today.TMO yes I have TMO. Well I have a bombshell to drop, I am the PMO, Steve Harper

moeman said...

I thought harpo was a leaf fan.

Steve said...

Fuck, you guys are so sharp!

Steve said...

Btw in my government, nothing is what it seems, TMO, it means To Much Information, HA HA fooled you as usual.

Number31 said...

OK really? Anyone who thinks Pacioretty is faking it can fuck off. The first thing he does when he's out of the lineup due to injury is call up his trainer to find a way back in as soon as possible and readies his training routine. He's like the Black Knight from Monty Python. (He usually plays through injury, like a separated shoulder, abdominal tear, the busted ribs). The standard wait period for a concussion in the NHL is a week and it's been a week, so he's passed that (much like Kostitsyn when Sauer painted his face with the glass). I don't think he'll be back to play this season though, but he'll work on it. His ONLY saving grace is the fracture wasn't displaced. Regardless it still doesn't excuse Chara for being a reckless fuckwit or the NHL to mock the situation like the condescending pricks they are. Remember, he was within millimeters of being Steve Moore.

Now, GO BULLDOGS GO! And may TFS save us!

Steve said...

Best actor going into a steel pole at 35kph, winner duh

Steve said...

The piarate radio feed is awsome, I can see Tits nipples.

Number31 said...

Vince you bitch...

Rips it, scores! said...

Speaking as a born and reared Paddy, that post is epic. Great work, HF10!
I can't booze tonight as I have a job interview tomorrow in Mississauga.

GYFHG!

O'RiRi said...

That was very nice, Moey.

So... What'd I miss? Do they look decent?

Steve said...

I have the Tampa bay audio feed man, like he took a shot man, wow save. Now we are in the Canadians end, wow that puck is moving

moeman said...

Considering the players not playing, they held their own and then some. PP needs to pop. CHicken is clucking and needs to peck away and lay one.

Number31 said...

@O'Riri
They look fine but have no finish. Same old story, just with less bodies. Someone needs to put Moen back in Cammy's spot on Eller's line...

Looks like Vince got tossed for his illegal use of a stick.

moeman said...

Hey Prime Minister Steve, honest mistake as we are Canadians and its the Canadiens playing. Also, since when does the PM have to pirate a game feed?

VTHABSFAN said...

Don't get mad but I thought I just smelled the little fuckity-fuck at the end of that period.

moeman said...

STFU! brunet.

O'RiRi said...

FUCK.

Tks 31.

Steve said...

@moeman- give me a majority and you can watch all the pirate radio you want with a life sentence in prison.

Orangeman said...

I thought they'd get shut out, but then with an extended PP I gave them a shot. Now I'm sure they're going to get shut out.

moeman said...

Green Tits!

Orangeman said...

See, I had to say that to jinx it.

You're welcome. You can vote me one of the 3 stars tonight by texting...

O'RiRi said...

Tits!

Most importantly, NO SHUTOUT!!!

Steve said...

Thats Chanibis putting Pasta on the PP

O'RiRi said...

Gomez ain't scoring tonight.

Let's see how this works.

moeman said...

@PM Steve'O, you can get more than 36% and you're a leaf fan, what gives?

moeman said...

can should = can't

Orangeman said...

@O'Riri: I've been trying that for weeks. I've learned to accept the reality. I've also leared to mentally put a comma between his numbers: 1,1. It lets me sleep more easily at night.

Steve said...

@Moeman, well both my top wingers are Gay and it looks like my wifes a dyke, WTF can you do.

O'rangeman said...

I've also decided to steal your idea, O'Riri.

O'RiRi said...

Uh huh. You can't just push Price AND the puck into the net.

moeman said...

@PM'OSteve, let them have fun, maybe even watch. Be accepting like your Buybull tells you.

Steve said...

TFS has a magic ass, he makes the puck disappear on the goal line

moeman said...

Surprised Stamouganis didn't dive into TFS™'s net.

O'RiRi said...

@o-man: One of these days, it's bound to work. I mean, he's gotta have at least another goal in him before season's end, right? Right?!

Oh and credit goes to 10.

Steve said...

I think this game proves Chocula does have a human connection, Guy does all his facial expressions for him.

O'rangeman said...

I wasn't the only one expecting Gomez to pass it back there, was I?

Steve said...

If we meet the Bolts in the real season its a sweep. Sorry Guy

Bill 10'1 said...

he shot it - there's hope

go bulldogs go

wv: les blessures n'epawbon

moeman said...

Hey, O'PM'Steve'O, your leaf are down 3-0, sell toronto to O'bama for the Yotes and FLA cats and Kate Upton.

O'RiRi said...

There's got to be a way to get rid of Mex. We're just not thinking hard enough! And, yes, I realize this is basically the Bulldogs playing and it's a minor miracle this is still tied but still...

NOT AGAIN.

moeman said...

O'RiRi, got the videotape in the mail today. Please convert your Betamax to H.264 and burn it to DVD. MuCHos Grassyass.

moeman said...

Methinks O'Mex will bust out in the playoffs. Less pre$$ure.

moeman said...

joel bouchard is desperate for a job with Tampa.

Number31 said...

This lineup is weird and this team is super discombobulated. So fuck you, Chara you gigantic twat. Hope the Bruins get bounced in the 1st round.

Go Bulldogs Go!

Number31 said...

@moeman
Good! The better to get him the hell away from the Montreal Juniors!

O'RiRi said...

@moe: Beta- say what?! That tech talk sounds like gibberish to me.

Go Preds!

Steve said...

Kate Upton, its hard to believe there is something hotter than tits. I am still working on my hockey book, maybe I can put her on the cover. With my wife under RCMP lock down, and my best buds John and Kenney inseparable, I mean get the hose out with cold water and you cant get them apart inseparable, thats a trade I can go for.

moeman said...

@N31, is there word that joel 'jive' bouchard is looking towards a future with The MTL Jrs? Ack!

@O'Ri, my mistake, the betamax tape came from the PM'O. Hopefully you are putting the final edits on the video and crossing fingers there's outakes and its an un-rated Director's cut.

moeman said...

@PM'O, that won't please Rona Ambrose. BTW, what does?

Steve said...

Hey Florida fans are going to vote on the best Habs goalie of all time, definitional Volkoum.

Steve said...

@moeman, often wondered that myself, that why she always sits behind me, with that big hair, I am guessing the drapes and carpet are not from Brazil. I would make my move, but I still got to figure out, was it me or did she just like chewing carpet more than a total dick.

moeman said...

G I O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O'RiRi said...

Gio!!!

O'rangeman said...

O' Gio!

Number31 said...

Tell me I wasn't the only one giggling at that Gio vs St. Louis breakaway?

Steve said...

Capitian Giant goal

moeman said...

Good O'ne N31, two leprechauns skating and Gio nets the pot of gold!

moeman said...

Someone get brunet a beer or 6 so that he can STFU!

moeman said...

Fuckface bettman called.

Number31 said...

Seriously hating Chicken Thursday right now.......

O'RiRi said...

Please tell me that's not CHicken's contribution to this game.

Steve said...

Who is on the phone, fucking Buttman

O'RiRi said...

TO THE SHOWERS, YOU SELFISH ASS.

moeman said...

cheapass goal

Number31 said...

This team...they work so hard, then POULIOT fucks it all up with that fucking penalty. HATE!

Steve said...

Fuck, I was laughing at the Urologist and then they scored, I feel dirty.

BYFHG

moeman said...

Pierre Houde is slowly falling into bob cold territory.

O'rangeman said...

Y'know, I've got friends in Japan (safe so far, thank goodness), just got word today my awesome family cat of 18 fucking years (birthday's today!) passed away and now I get word a very good childhood friend has had a possible nervous breakdown/drug relapse. And all I can do is sit here and drink it all away in my pathetic green shirt.

I need a win. Habs, God, Buddha, whoever is listening, I need a win. Fuck it, I'll take a point.

Not to be a downer or anything.

moeman said...

Sending pO'sitive vibes to 0'man.

Number31 said...

New nickname for Pouliot: Argh.

moeman said...

New nickname for Pouliot: CHickenshit.

O'RiRi said...

Hopefully for o-man, the day ends with a lil' positivity.

Steve said...

@o'man gambatte Kudisia (keep your chin up, unless your going into the corner with Chara)

moeman said...

Kirk encouraging Lego = O'sweet.

O'rangeman said...

Sorry guys, didn't mean to be a mellodramatic poster. I'm just tired. I can't even get drunk. I just want Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards all men. And a win. Is that so hard?

moeman said...

pO'int.

moeman said...

STFU! bb.

Number31 said...

I'm still pissed off at Pouliot.

moeman said...

Loving Lego's game.

O'rangeman said...

I feel like I'm playing blackjack and just put down my last $100. I had 17 and the dealer was showing a 10. I prayed and she ended up having 17, too. But now I'm greedy and I put that $100 down again so I can win.

What I'm trying to say is I have a gambling problem.

O'RiRi said...

Ouch.

Number31 said...

We wanted Gomez to shoot....

Number31 said...

HATE shootouts. Especially against stupid shooting teams like the Bolts.

Steve said...

Pasta scores the SO winner

O'RiRi said...

Heart attack mode. Greeaaaat.

moeman said...

Who let the Dawes out!

O'RiRi said...

Huh?

Dawes!!!

moeman said...

Illegal move!

O'RiRi said...

Fuck off, Marty.

moeman said...

SQUID!

O'RiRi said...

Squid!!!

moeman said...

2 fucking O'points! O'FHFers!!!

O'RiRi said...

WIN!!! No thanks to you, CHicken.

There you go, o-man.

Bill 101 said...

there you go o-man

Bill 101 said...

weird

Number31 said...

Pouliot's life is saved.

Steve said...

That is the first time I heard or saw Dawes all night, Chanibis pOsitive

Jedi Knight goal by Squid

O'rangeman said...

Like Price's "WTF" look after that, uh, shot.

Thanks Habbies. Now let's do it all over again tomorrow in NY.

Hope the beer makes you all sleep soundly tonight.

Steve said...

Chicken may deserve to be Kentucky Fried, but if it had to be done, I would do TiTs, love the breast.

Number31 said...

I flip to NHLN and I see a Bruin do the OMGIWASHITBYASTICK*DEAD* and no call. Haha fuckers. GO PREDS!

Moey said...

Woot!

Gotta love Knuckles Nilan on the team 990 today. (he was pissed to the eyeballs)

So Chris, what do you think about the Habs meeting the Bruins in the first round of the playoffs?

"Would be great, the B's would be under all the heat and all of their assholes would be so tight because they're playing the Habs."



Gotta love the eloquence. Gotta love Chris.

GYFHG!!!!

moeman said...

Yeah heard O'Nilan too Moey. Bonus, he was in his parent's kitCHen. He even apologized for saying assholes but you could hear the honesty in his beer-addled voice.

moeman said...

Preds snag the extra point from the Fuckface Bruins. inCHing, up.

Moey said...

@moe,

I just hope he keeps it together. Me thinks the Habs are keeping him busy enough. Gotta love our team they really try to take care of their own.

Number31 said...

Cammy limping around. He was playing hurt. No wonder... Sigh... (Hamilton raises a sign that says "uncle").

HabsFan29 said...

just got home. if I my say 2 words - FUCK and YES. Go Hamilton!

Boris said...

How can you beat this ?

Panthers shred Maple Leafs 4-0

"The Toronto Maple Leafs picked the wrong night to give the Florida Panthers an easy win."

http://www.nhl.com/ice/recap.htm?id=2010021059

I swear, you can't make this stuff up, pick the wrong night to give the totally defanged and uncaring florida panthers an easy win in the middle of the playoff rush.

I mean who comes up with these lines? They fucking crack me up!

Number31 said...

Rask needs milk crates