I can't photoshop for shit, so pretend that Tara in the background looks like the Bell Centre and that the clouds in the sky look like a Habs logo and a Thrashers logo. COME HOME GG11!!! We miss you!!!!
Okay, okay, I know that the Habs are still in playoff contention, they're in sixth place, sky hasn't fallen yet etc. etc. I wasn't expecting squat in terms of trades yesterday (as usual). I know that the cupboard is basically bare in Hamilton and in terms of draft picks (having seemingly traded away most of our 2nd round picks from now until 2050). It would absolutely have been galactically stupid to mortgage the future for a present that would only have seen maringal improvements at best.
But, dammit, since when is "competent" good enough in professional sports?
Being satisfied with competence is a symptom of the complacency that has infected this team and its management. After all, why should they care? Habs Nation will continue to put butts in (increasingly expensive) seats, hoping for a repeat of last year's playoff miracle. And so, they jack up the prices 40% for playoff tickets and idiots like me continue to sign on the dotted line. To quote a person whose opinion I respect and cherish: "Go make love to yourselves, Canadiens de Montréal."
Don't get me wrong - I'm hoping for a miracle too. Hell, my fellow bloggers and I have given up what little goddamned free time we have to write for a Habs fan blog. We do this because we love this team way more than is healthy.
I sure as shit ain't doing it for the strippers or the meth that 29 keeps promising.
When I thought about the fact that the Habs were visiting Atlanta tonight, I thought of something else that was built on delusions of grandeur based on a glorified (and increasingly distant) past and worship of things that are pretty on the outside, but rotten on the inside. Much like the old South needed to get slavery spanked out of it once and for all by the Yankees, I'm worried that the only way that the Habs are going to get smacked out of this complacency is to get their own spanking and finish dead last in the NHL. Maybe then, only 21,271 fans will show up for a game...
... who the heck am I kidding? We only have to look to Leafs Nation if we want to catch a glimpse of our future. Mediocrity veering on suckitude, however heartbreaking, still their arena. The same thing would happen here. And, because I'm a weak-willed sap when it comes to this team, I'll be one of the suckers still ponying up for season tickets.
Frankly, my dear Habs, you're making it hard to give a damn.
Waiting for the Yankees to show up: Game at 7:00 PM in Atlanta at the Philips Arena, home to the 3rd lowest attendance in the NHL, ahead only of the Isles and Yotes. But a hockey team in Quebec City, Winnipeg, Hamilton [insert other Canadian city here] wouldn't be viable. Riiight. Speaking of complacency...
Cousin Melanie from Atlanta: I don't want to link to another SB nation blog, so I'll link to a fellow Blogger victim: The Thrashers 411. They haven't updated their site in, like, a month. Maybe they decided to blow up their computer too after Blogger refused to fucking re-size their goddamned pictures/ate one of their posts... Not that I'm bitter, or anything.
Hot, like Vivien Leigh in that green dress (no, not that one, this one): Whoa. The Thrash have won both their meetings (home and away) against the Habs so far this year. That doesn't bode well. What also doesn't bode well? Apparently Big Tits is one of the Habs' hottest players, along with Squid. Funny - neither ever has to play on a line with Scott Gomez... Nah. Gotta be a coincidence, couldn't possibly be a sign that someone needs to have his Mexican-Alaskan ass benched or at least find his ice time reduced.
Burnt to the ground like Twelve Oaks: Who's cold? No one. No one at all. I have no idea what you're talking about. No passengers on this here bus, no siree. This team is competent. COMPETENT. *mumbling to herself* *twitching*
Casualty lists! Git yer casualty lists: DarCHe still out, along with Spacek and two key D-men whose brilliance is starting to fade into a lovely memory. If Carey Price has the flu, why isn't he in bed with a bowl of chicken noodle soup? Why is he sitting on a stool a) getting sicker and b) infecting the rest of the team??
Carried up the staircase in order to be ravished: Who knew that Atlanta was apparently known as the "Strip Club Capital of America"? Looks like Georgia Peaches really are delicious...
Feeling that tomorrow is another day? Determined to never go hungry (for a win) again? Wanting to test out your brand new flame thrower? Talk about it in the comments...