Thursday, March 03, 2011

FHF CHonsumers don't get jobbed by RIM, get yourself an iHabs2 ~ Florida Game/Product Review and Open arCHitecture thread

Steve Molson, the Bell Centre man who has sold 25 Million tickets, 100 million beers, 500 Million toastés/steamés (not as good as the original Forum version) made an appearance to introduce the latest update to the wildly popular iHabs device. After months of speculation, rumours and innuendo, the iHabs2 is now playing and looks to be yet another business and marketing hit. Marketing 101 suggests we look at the specifications, features and benefits. Start scrolling, clicking and buying (unavailable to sore Palm users, original/old Newton owners and Jim Balsillie's buddies).

CHompetition ~ The Florida Panthers, 13th (3-6-1), The playoff-bound Montréal Canadiens 6th (4-4-2).

Nitro JavasCHript! ~ Add some Rhum, scotCH, Khalua or other favourite liqueur to spice up your gametime coffee, RDS/TSN, probably pirated somewhere on the web, 7:30PM from sunny FLA, (currently 77 degrees lg in the shade).

TeCHnical SpeCHs ~ ProduCHt Manager Pierre reviews some of his favourite features ~ It has a Competent Processing Unit whiCH provides dramatic performance improvements brought to you by the dual sCHore eh2011 CHip and an update to The System™. Now with two CHameras, one front and one rear-facing so you can picture them coming and going, still needs some flash, pinCHes and zooms but results vary depending on focus. Long-lasting battery life that should get you to the playoffs. TeCH Note: might need to be reCHarged in May. Includes the DDD Accelerometer, the Squid Goal Positioning System and the Gill GyrosCHope. New Apps include GarageBanDeNiaseux, an audio recording and playback app that lets you trim and edit the anti-CHambre multi-tracked noise makers. Previous App review.

Boards of advertising ~ RIM ~ On April 1st they will try to job you with their enterprise playbook ~ Motorola Xoom ~ To the moon Honeycombers ~ Samsung ~ They'll sell, in another Galaxy, maybe ~ HP ~ Not as A1 as their sauce ~ WindozePhun67 ~ Official leaf tablet. Pee-Air mcsplooge has yet to call the iHabs2 'magical'. Bored?, looks like fun but don't try it at home.

Smart CHovers ~ The unheralded D turns on the iHabs2 when CHallenged, cleans the ice by automatically blocking shots, and doubles as a stand up bunCH of guys on 'Your Canadiens'.

Colour sCHeme on your hi-res sCHreen ~ You'd think Bleu, Blanc, Rouge but nope, available only in Black and White. (Merci GG for the perfect and colourful pad pictures).

FaceTime ~ Still no Gorjosh, Vodkov or DarCHe, FLA still has a few players left from trade deadline day but we don't know who is in their line-up but they probably did better than mcsplooge's 'losers' Habs did on 02/28.

~ Hands-on demo ~

iGYFHG!

109 comments:

Steve said...

The great part about the operating system is there is no chance of offense. (unless your Cherry or Cock(stab)roach.

iRiRi said...

Excellent, moe!

All you iPhone/iPad users, do yourselves a favor and download the new and improved Canadiens app! You can vote for the 3 stars, watch episodes of Your Canadiens or listen to Gill ramble about potluck lunCH!

GYFHG!

HabsFan29 said...

The Comptent Processing Unit runs at just about average speeds

that Mac user sure looks happy

moeman said...

Bell's Canadiens app is also available for Android and BBerry users. FWIW, they also have a cowBELL app.

Steve said...

sic, I am still laughing at Orange mans remedy for establishing dominance in conflict. Its worthy (that big word even spell check cant make for me), of SIC as in SIC Bettman, he hates Canada in General and Montreal in particular.

Little SIC for the system, spared a full SIC cause we are winning.

Huge laff of the day was one of the French Sportwriters saying that Cheez Wiz was no better than the Urologist, I peed myself.

March 03, 2011 1:59 PM

HabsFan29 said...

the excitement for this Florida game is less than overwhelming

Anonymous said...

@29 - even the players took the morning off

Habsfan10 said...

You know what would liven this game up? A good old fashioned weiner stabbing.

moeman said...

Can you believe I didn't punCHcock "Special Guest Star: Tony Marinaro from Team 990 on the Montreal Canadiens and other NHL matters" on Pfuck Daddy?

Steve said...

The future of being stabbed in the cock.

Kmaxx said...

GYFCHG! (Thanks Moeman!)

moeman said...

All good Kmaxx. Bonus, royalty free! (Man, are the FHF lawyers gonna dock my pay for that).

Anonymous said...

um, what's a steamés? Never had one at the Bell Centre, Molson Centre or Forum. I'm torn between thinking i'm missing something awesome or a pile of dung with squiggly cartoon lines coming out of it. :S

HabsFan29 said...

@anon - a steame is a delicious dog made famous in Quebec. go to Lafleur in Ville St Pierre for a fine example

HOWEVER, a Bell / Forum dog is not a steamé. it's a toasté. I'll let the blog post author correct it

kevincrumbs said...

@Anon: It's one of those famous Forum/Bell Centre hot dogs. I was disappointed when I had them for the first time. They were sort of shit.

kevincrumbs said...

@HF29: Oops, my bad. I'll shut my face now.

moeman said...

"um, what's a steamés?"

aka, steamies.

Boiled, split, grilled wiener on a sweet, split, grilled bun.

Make your own.

Steve said...

To split it do you stab it with a knife?

moeman said...

Fixed.

~~~

Love the toasté/steamé but fave CHien CHaud is the original A&W Whistledog (mustard, relish, cheese)

Yours?

HabsFan29 said...

since I mentioned Lafleur once, the Lafleur Michigan (essentially a chili dog for those of you outside La Belle Province) is outstanding

and don't hate me for saying this, but I really love alot of those hot dogs you get on the street in Tronna

Noda said...

Anon here, sorry forgot to log in.
gotcha, thanks all!! i've had the toasté last time i was there. gotta say, way better than a typical arena dog, and i love typical arena dogs IMHO. Definitely don't have those here in the Hammer. Next time i'm out that way i'll see about trying one!

Maybe we can start something to get them at Bulldogs games.
Go Hockey!
Pants!

moeman said...

Jarry Park Expos dogs with ketCHup were great. Best at game food were San Jose Sharks honey ribs.

Steve said...

If you ever find yourself in Buffalo,
locate a Hot Dog fast food establishment in the TEDS chain. IMHO the finest hotdogs in the world, hickory gilled, natural case dogs with ketucup, mustard and pickle.

@29 you must be a very sick person, Taranna dogs, all they are good for is practicing your stab.

moeman said...

Steve, not only that but 29 eats em' off the street. You'd think a city at the centre of the universe would have vendors.

Bill 101 said...

when the Habs are in the finals, you guys should try a Japa-dog on the streets of Vanc. Surreal, but very yummy.

*glug glug*

moeman said...

174 more comments and its ice cream and meth on your wieners.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm partial to Cincinnati style cheesy coneys with mustard and onions.

HeadHunter said...

I have to say a real Chicago-style dog. Kosher all-beef frankfurter on a poppy seed bun.To with pretty much every thing:yellow mustard, chopped white onions, sweet pickle relish, dill pickle spear, tomato slices, pickled peppers, and a dash of celery salt.Almost sounds healthy unless you happen to eat 6 of them.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Glad no one has evolved at all since I left.

Moey said...

Welcome back GG!

La Belle Province steamies ain't too shabby either with a side of greasy fries. So greasy that the salt sticks to them. Yum.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Thanks Moey.

I just want to say that I support all hot dogs as I am friends with the guy who makes all deli meat round. He is the casing king of the world.

Orangeman said...

Habs are gonna stab the Panthers in the cock tonight!

Anonymous said...

we are vulnerable to charges of "cockiness"

Orangeman said...

Sometimes cock stabs you

moeman said...

tsn: "Price, a league leader in games started". That's it.

Steve said...

I was driving home and listening to the Fan590 with Glen Healy and they were saying to some extent the goalie is more a lego piece than lego. Making some good arguments, and then the panel started talking about the best goalies, obviously TFS not mentioned, its Broduer if I lose a game i beat up my wife.

Steve said...

@orangeman, when they remake the Princess Bride, the " I will stab you in the cock line" will be there. same goes for Machete.

moeman said...

For the FHFemmes fave fellas.

moeman said...

RDS' denis 'watch my hands hypnotize you' gauthier (the guy BR says Gainey should've fucking signed, unlike, say, no other fucking team did) says the Habs are playing hockey that is too free-wheeling and improvisational. He says they must come back to, wait for it, The Fucking System™. Hot diggidy dog!

le BaruCHe said...

Great preview Moe!
@Orange/Steve I missed the reference what's SIC?
Why does Bettman hate Montreal? Because we take hockey too seriously?
Unfortunately the NHLPA and the owners love Bettman, so they must not take hockey too seriously either.... obviously.

I haven't looked to closely, but I know the Forum dogs were definitely toasté not steame, and they were alright with that time-saving mustard-relish mix they used to swipe on with a stick.

For a real orthodox steamé rotteu, Belle Province keeps up the standard alright, Lafleurs used to be good, but now only the poutine... My favorite used to be Trois Marie on Laurier/Chambord, don't know if its still there, but it was a completely unremarkable rotteux place like before the ROC moved in.

GHG!!!
Away les gars!

moeman said...

toasté

steamé

rotteu

3 to-be-used nicknames thrown into the vault.

Orangeman said...

@BaruChe: SIC= stab in the cock, as in a physcially aggressive action. It doesn't go any further than that and frankly it doesn't need to.

Sleepy said...

That girl must be pretty frigid, when she opened her legs a light came on.

moeman said...

At least the FLA player didn't retaliate and rough up PFK.

moeman said...

Gilloscope!

Steve said...

The link is off tonite, I had to go to firefox, got no audio and very fuzzy. The blitz is over and great to see Gill pot one, can you believe they are already in the fucking shell

moeman said...

Tits!

Steve said...

Tits from Lego, fuck yeah

moeman said...

Get UR popcorn kidz.

Steve said...

The fucking slot, cover the slot thats two gold plated scoring chances this period from dead center in the slot.

le BaruCHe said...

[a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/batboy2424/3789320790/"]tits perking up again[/a]
@steve its on ST

moeman said...

Good one BaruCHe.

moeman said...

Outshot 8-6? Need more Mount Gay.

Matt - ftc said...

Halpern on that line is ridiculous

le BaruCHe said...

anyone see anything wrong with that link? why's the html still there?

Steve said...

@leBarche, read the fucking instructions, you need to put < instead of the brackets, btw I did it for a couple of weeks until 29 told me the same thing I just told you

moeman said...

[ ] should be < >

and no "

Steve said...

@fhf world would it be to fucking hard to change the instructions so they did not confuse all the people on meth

le BaruCHe said...

damn!

GHG!!!

HabsFan29 said...

man I love coming in late to a 2-0 lead!

Hal Gill scored??? Huh???

moeman said...

Brunet can be as condescending as he wants to Gill's 1st goal of the year. This coming from a forward, who, in 15 NHL seasons of play, scored 101, 99 being deflected of his fat bulbous head.

moeman said...

29s entrance better not have a bob cold fx on the Habs.

HabsFan29 said...

oh i'm sure i'll screw everything up

iRiRi said...

So I come home and check the score and get all happy that it's 2-0. Then I check the boxscore and see we had 4 SOG. *facepalm*

I suppose the system kicked in immediately after that second goal?

Steve said...

Sexy Friday is all thats going to save me. I got some terrible news today. A couple of years ago in Vegas I met this smashing girl named Bree Olsen, and ever since I have dreamed of us taking it to another level, and now I find out it was not her name and she is with Charlie Sheen. You know what I want to do to him.

HabsFan29 said...

DDD!!!

moeman said...

D D D!

iRiRi said...

DD!!!

moeman said...

29/fx!!!

Moey said...

My cats could have stopped that.

We'll take it though.

Steve said...

DDD finds a way

HabsFan29 said...

Moey's cats ON METH could have stopped that

Steve said...

Why does Mex not have a shield?
He does not skate enough to clear off the fog

le BaruCHe said...

DDD!!! don't fall asleep now Habs!
Like this Gomez the enforcer sCHtique as long as he doesn't get a penalty.

Steve said...

Does anyone know why Swiss MissII stabbed patches in the cock?

Number31 said...

DD's goal was full of lol and awesome.

HabsFan29 said...

you really have to love a blog where the main meme goes from Tim Hortons to competence to stabbing people in the cock in a mere three days

moeman said...

29, somehow CHarlie Sheen is behind the memes.

Steve said...

Hammer, setting new records for that delay of game thingy. Love yu Hammer but your a 40 year old man, you should know the rules by now

Steve said...

Sorry Hammer, meth I saw the false future

iRiRi said...

Leafs are tied at 2 w/ Philly and if they win tonight, they will be 2 points out of a playoff spot. That's a reality I just can't deal with.

HabsFan29 said...

CHokula almost looked perturbed there!

moeman said...

Remember that split second stop in play on Gio's no goal the other night?

moeman said...

Habs up in the SOGs!!!

Steve said...

Number 9 Wiess I want to stab him in the cock tonite but hope he is free agent this summer. Dont know who number 16 Panthers is but he needs to be stabbed in the cock.

Number31 said...

I keep hearing a Mortal Kombat "FINISH HIM!" voice throughout this game.

Also, what are the odds Ellerby stowaways into Price's equipment bag to escape this team? Odd how both of Price's cousins landed on empty-arena teams. Must be fun at the family gatherings.

scorewatcher said...

serious danger of 3-pointer fest in other rinks

Moey said...

iRi,

As much as I would hate it I have to be glass half full about the leaf getting in, maybe for once in their sorry assed pathetic existance they can do something useful and take out the flyers in the first round.

Steve said...

Maybe Douche$uck could get his manhood back by stabbing Pronger in the cock.

HabsFan29 said...

LEGO!!!

moeman said...

I disagree with Moey. I hope the leaf plays a playoff-bound Habs during the last game of the season and need the 2 points, bagging only 1. Auld in net.

LEGO!

le BaruCHe said...

LEGO!!

Moey said...

@moe,

In a perfect world of course that's what I want to. But you need to be mentally prepared just in case and make something positive out of it or you'll surely descend into madness.

Just saw a good nickname for Eller on Twitter.

Helter SkEller

scorewatcher said...

or not

GoldenGirl11 said...

Moey, pictures are up. Just a sampling but it's more than a bathroom.

HabsFan29 said...

Ping!

Ping!

No wings.

HabsFan29 said...

Leafs now 3 points out of 8th WITH A GAME IN HAND

/ jumps off roof head first

moeman said...

29s fall will be protected by his ovenmitts.

Moey said...

Merci GG! Love holiday pics. I'll be over right after the game.

iRiRi said...

@Moey and moe - Both scenarios are interesting so I vote for whatever embarasses them the most.

I WANT WINGS!

moeman said...

brunet makes The Goat's job easier by saying he'd liked o see Vodkov wearing a Habs jersey next year.

moeman said...

@iRiRi, regardless we know the refs will decide things.

iRiRi said...

Victoire par blanCHissage!!!

HabsFan29 said...

nice hot blonde Habs fans!

er, nice shutout!

moeman said...

The only thing I'm addicted to is the Habs winning.

Nice of Houde to not mention the word 'blanchissage' until it was over. Fuck you bob cold.

Orangeman said...

That was exactly the game they need to have against the botton feeders. Against everyone else too I guess. Nothing special, just get the job done and don't sit back on a 1-0 lead.

Number31 said...

COMPETENCE!

Orangeman said...

There are two things to remember about the leaf's playoff 'run'. First, they're not just chasing the Canes. The Sabers are between them and 8th, too, not to mention NJ's impossible run. Second, the leaf suck.

Mr. natural said...

@orangie: You PHucken'crack me up every time.

SIC, nice.