Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Facing The Beast - Phlyers preview and open thread


Around these parts, there has been a lot of talk lately about who we are scared of. The general consensus is that it's the Phucking Phlyers. And after the Flyers ended the Pens' streak last night to take over the lead in everything, there is no question that Philly is The Beast (of the East). Be afraid kids. Be very, very, afraid.

Somewhere in Time - 7:30 PM from the Bell. On TSN and RDS. Habs coming off the crappiest weekend ever, Flyers coming off that win last night to the Pens, and are 5-0-1 in their last 6. Habs and Flyers have split their two games so far this year; two very, very entertaining games.

Can I Play with Madness - Ryan and his gang over at Flyers Goal Scored By are quite mad, but fun to play with, so go ahead and play.

Best of The Beast - I defy you to name me a Hab who could be considered "hot" right now. The only answer I guess is Squid, who's scored in three of the last four games. For the Flyers, name your poison. Brière and Giroux are scoring. And now Brian Boucher is putting up quality goalie numbers, 3-0-1, 1.20 GAA, .957 save % in his last 4, though Bobrovsky will probably start as Boucher played last night.

Dance of Death - Tits has landed in JM's funeral parlour (Topham may have found the reason why), probably ruined forever. Philly is the best team in the league, no dying players there right now.

No Prayer for the Dying - Looks like both SpaCHes and Gomez are gonna play, despite SpaCHes saying yesterday he was 50-50.  Swiss Mister II, Pie, and two-time waiver loser Boyd are the healthy scratches. For the Flyers, Laperierre is concussed.

The X-Factor - The AHL's leading goal-scorer PatCHes makes his debut for the Habs this season. Let's all enjoy Chokula fucking him up forever. Or him getting a hat trick.

OK now CRANK THAT FUCKING SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKERS:

Richards came across his "C"
He brought PK pain and misery
He killed his smile, he killed his speed
He called him cocky for his own need

We'll fight them hard, we'll fight them well
Out on the rink, we'll give 'em hell
A sold-out Bell, so much to see
Oh please JM, set PK free

Skating through slashing and dirty play
Grueling to play with the pain
Chasing the Phucktards back to their holes
Fighting them at their own game

Shelley suspended, a check in the back
Flyers are assholes and assholes attack

Run to the hills, run for your lives
Run to the hills, run for your lives

Complaining to refs is a fucking waste
Hooking and spearing's their game
Hating their women and wasting the men
Their style of play's always the same

29's drinkin' whiskey and smoking a bowl
Leavin' CHicks to the young 'cause he is too old

Run to the hills, run for your lives
Run to the hills, run for your lives
(guitar solo)

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh PHUUUCCKKKK

Run to the hills, run for your lives (x4)


GYMFHG

101 comments:

Mr. natural said...

OK, had to copy and paste this from previous blog so as to ensure that we are all together, can't PHuck this up.

Sorry for the repetition.

-----------------------------------

AWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the PHucken' PHUCKTARDS!!!!!!

Jesus H. CHrist where do I start, PHuck! Shit! Prick! Cocksuckers!

DIE BASTARDS DIE!

I admit that my hatred for the PHucktards has moved into psychological realms which are contributing to the ongoing deterioration of my mental health and I need help in this area, like seriously BIG help. (Is Meth part of the answer? I have no experience with this particular drug).

Mrs. Natural gets scared when I am PHorced to watch the PHucktards.

Anyway I implore all of you to help me in a cosmic collective burst of deadly mental energy aim and killing the entire team of PHucktards, but we need to be together on this, can't have some of you wishing for a flu to go through the dressing room and others hoping for some form of quick death while I am concentrating on the most excrutiating form of public, painful, agonizing, ongoing everlasting feverishly contageous form of death.

So let's get together at 2:15 PM today we all concentrate that a deadly virus (picture it it your mind) attacks Carcillo, then spreads to Hartnell, Richards et al and they are puking, convulsing and losing consciousness, the game is called and they all die, die DIE! DIE!

Seriously I am counting on you all, the visualisation is key, so EXACTLY at 2:15.

GYMFHG,

DIE PHUCKTARDS DIE!

15 December, 2010 11:58 AM

L Dude said...

Just so we're clear Mr. n, that's 2:15 EST, correct? I'll put a reminder in my calendar.

Ya check out those PHlyer CHicks? The blond in the middle has a giant head.

WV: That photoshop gets at least a top three all time by GG. Excellent as usual. It is a very witypic.

Steve said...

Looking at the Philties ice girls I just wondered where was the dogsled?

I feel like William Wallace September 11 1297. Please dont let it turn into the Battle of Falkirk. Disembowl them phlyers, stick em in the eye, and cut out Richards tongue with dull goalie skates, but most importantly have fun, thats the way Chocula wants it.

GYGHG!! Especially Patches, PFK and MEX's new groin.

Bill 101 said...

I'm voting with LDude - GG raises the bar yet again.

Of course though, the Phucktard fans will LOVE this graphic if they stop by to look.

wv: mr. n, is it not preferable that they all pauthout late in the 3rd before they DIE DIE DIE?

ti-cul said...

phuck pronger

Orangeman said...

(Un)fortunately, I'll be stuck in an exam this evening from 7-10. I asked my prof if there will be regular updates of the score throughout the exam and he responded with a disgusted snear which I choose to mean "OF COURSE!".

However, as per the request of Mr. natural, I will take a break from my studies at 215pm so as to concentrate on the downfall of the Phlyers. I will envision something I saw on Law and Order SVU happening to them.

x-ine said...

Iron Maiden theme for the win.

iRiRi said...

Really excited to see PatCHes play tonight. Hope he doesn't give JM any reasons to demote him to the fourth line halfway through the 2nd.

Also, who else is gonna watch that Caps/Pens 24/7 thingy?Apparently, it's full of F-bombs so there's that.

GYFHG! Go PatCHes!

P.S. Did you know we are 2 pts out of 8th place? I'm not saying it's time to panic but I'm feeling just a little panicky.

Mr. natural said...

@29: Went over to see the PHuckPHaces (official fans of the PHucktards) over at Goals scored by, gently posted hoping for some reaction so I could then pounce but meh, nothing.

@orane: Love your power of perception, despite the Prof's cryptic message you are able to see through the bullshit to the truth!

@iRiRi: 2 points out but with games in hand on everyone except the Broons. Still 50 PHucken' games to go.

EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION: It is now T-minus 30 minutes to the PHucktards Great Mind Phuck of 2010.

Be there or be square......

I can't wait

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!.

Mr. natural said...

@orange, sorry for typo.

......now T-minus 30 minutes to the PHucktards Great Mind Phuck of 2010.

Young HF29 said...

@mr natural - get your times right. you meant 15 minutes in your last comment. we can't screw this up

Mr. natural said...

@29 OMG!!!!

2:15
2:15
2:15

OK, I'm calm now.....


T-minus 7 minutes and counting....

iRiRi said...

*concentrates that a deadly virus attacks Carcillo, then spreads to Hartnell, Richards et al and they are puking, convulsing and losing consciousness*

Mr. natural said...

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

DIE PHucktards DIE!

Young HF29 said...

/enters trance

Bill101 said...

whew! that was exhausting.

and creepy

iRiRi said...

Did it work yet?!

Steve said...

I put a pastafarian bad meatball curse on them. All the while talking like a pirate of course.

Mr. natural said...

@29 et al:

-I felt it!! They are COOKED1
GHMFHG!!!

DIE PHUCKTARDS DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!

Thanks to all for your participation.

Now a legal oinion:

1. Afer they all drop dead can any of us be charged?
2. Or just Mr.natural (whoever he may be) could be charged with conspiracy.

Or do I watch too much US television?

Mr. natural said...

oPinion and not onion or oinion or any other typo.

If you guys could see this old codger type you would have a laugh.

L Dude said...

...exits trance.

Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

What? Holy Fuck. What's that all about? Did it work. Why the fuck am I quoting Meatloaf on a Maiden theme? Must've worked.

DIE PHUKTARDS DIE!

At the very least don't let that little Phuck Briere score. If I have to see him do that fist pump thing he does, my TV may be in jeopardy!

Young HF29 said...

/exits trance

had a lovely chat with my spirit guide the coyote who has the voice of Johnny Cash. he says we're good

Mr. natural said...

I feel it in my bones.

Should there be an ensuing police investigation....Yo no Hablo Ingles.

We are GOLD Baby!!
GYMGHGGGGO!

Orangeman said...

Sorry I'm late here. Last thing I remember was entering the trance. When I woke up I was half naked atop a desk with a freshman in a leash and the smell of burning textbooks in the air. Also, I'm now circumcised and the treasurer of the Maine chapter of the Tea Party.

Mr. natural said...

@orange:LMFAO

I wanna say we gotta have a drink together but it would probably be awkward and I would never think of you in the same way again.

iRiRi said...

@L Dude - nice pic!

Did I mention I seem to have developed a little crush on Lego after I watched that This or That video?

His parents will be at the Bell to tonight. First time seeing their son play in the NHL.

the Maritimer said...

Hey PFK! Don't let that little prick Briere anywhere the net!

Hey Pronger! Go fuck yourself!!!

Orangeman said...

Mr.natural: Oh, I don't drink dfad
.aldfj'DE GP/KVHLSRIGH /LKDSVH lkadf.v,nm/dslk

sorry, sorry. My nose just grew so fast it actually wrapped around the earth and came back to impale the back of my head and cause me to spasm on my keyboard.

HEY BITCH BEHIND ME HERE AT THE LIBRARY! NO CELL PHONES! YOU GODDAMNED CONCORDIA TRASH! Apologies to Concordia grads and students....for attending such an awful cesspool.

Kidding, kidding. BUT SERIOUSLY I CAN HEAR THE WHORE ON THE OTHER LINE.

Back to studying. These cash flow statements aren't going to prepared themselves.

iRiRi said...

@orangeman - you at JMSB?

Mr. natural said...

@orange: balance sheet, income statement, accruals, matching principal,recognizing..............AWWW PHuck, accountants are running everything.

Can't take a three hour lunch at the Rib & Reef without someone questioning the 12 cocktails and 4 bottles on wine, it's negotiating baby, brings in the business.

Income, revenue not my problems...

moeman said...

Nice work 29 et GG.

GYFHG!

Orangeman said...

@iRiRi: I certainly am! When I left Montreal there were empty lots and abandonned theatres. Now all this glass and steel makes me start to think Concordia is a real university. Then I remeber that the business school is named after beer.

Kidding of course, the old McGill snob in me coming out. Truthfully, nice what they've done with the place.

T minus 2.25 hours till the big exam. Tomorrow is math which I will complete easily while laughing and making love to the significant others of my classmates. Not to be cocky or anything.

GYFHG!
GYFOMG! (For me)

Steve said...

@Orangeman Math is more scary than the Phuckers

ti-cul said...

phucking proger; don cherry baby pet

bea.habs.fan said...

I'ev had really good news and really bad news today.
I really really really need a win tonite and a team-wide death throes' convulsion from the PHlyers to tip this day into the good balance

GYMFHGOOOOOOOOO!

WV here's to Habs not getting any brain latic acid build ups

Mr. natural said...

@orange Good Luck!

You are too sharp witted on this blog to be a dullard in the classroom, piece of cake!

GYMFOMG!

Die Phucktards Die!

moeman said...

Hope things are OK bea.

Young HF29 said...

ok let's do this thing!!!! MAIDEN FUCK YEAH WOOOO!!!!!!!

@bea - agree with moe, hope everything is ok

mom of 29 just emailed me the following:

GYFHG!!

moeman said...

Boom!

Young HF29 said...

mcsplogge just said "HUGE Philadelphia team" a little too enthusiastically

PFK! nice hit!

no penalty?

moeman said...

Nice fucking xmas tie eddie munster.

Young HF29 said...

another quality pk, god bless 'em

ok now how about some offense, i beg you

moeman said...

Eller's Dad looks way too much like Julian Assange.

Young HF29 said...

finally we're in their end

Steve said...

@orangeman i went to your fucking links and they looked like math to me. So please put in some rambling drunken rage a way for idiots all over this fucking planet to watch the finest hockey team or team by any name that civilization as we now know it has created. The six civilizations that failed before us with only ornaments like crystal skulls we dont need. What we need is an idiot proof IP address to salute.

Young HF29 said...

how much can you shove pk in the back before a call???

moeman said...

Fucking tsn whiners.

moeman said...

Not hearing PleXXXe's or PatCHes name enough.

iRiRi said...

Ugh.

moeman said...

ack

Young HF29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

mcsplooge will try to find anything to complain about the Habs. Cuthbert joins in and all they keep referencing is their leaf. Sickos.

moeman said...

Ottawa is not a big hockey market.

moeman said...

eesh

iRiRi said...

I have now watched goals go in on two different networks. Shall I turn on the radio?

bea.habs.fan said...

well we can now conclude that so far the big concentration on part of FHFers is not quite ready for the big time.
maybe we should try again and aim to have their heads alle xplode simultaneously.

(thanks for the good wishes guys - wish the Habs would be my secret Santa today)

iRiRi said...

More or that, please!

bea.habs.fan said...

loved Cuthbert's "Gills holds the zone!?!"
have to admit right there with him in the amazement category

iRiRi said...

Was that PatCHes' first "big body presence reference" by McSplooge? He must be so proud.

moeman said...

mcreary sees nuthin'

Matt - fear the collapse said...

The reality of their non-existent scoring punch has been on full display for the last while...team is going nowhere scoring 1 goal a game

Young HF29 said...

we're never getting a call

moeman said...

WTF?

Young HF29 said...

flyers are allowed to do what they want

iRiRi said...

PK with the disrespect!

Will we ever get a PP?

Young HF29 said...

finally a PP. DO SOMETHING WITH IT

iRiRi said...

Fucking Spongebob.

Young HF29 said...

PFuckingK!!!

moeman said...

PFucKing!!!

iRiRi said...

PFK!!!

moeman said...

29, that is PFucKing!!! weird.

bea.habs.fan said...

F PFK
WOOT WOOT

on a richards mistake HA
and with te big wind-up
double HA

bea.habs.fan said...

that should fire them up for the 3rd

WV there will be bedlisms in the booth tonite if they even it up in the 3rd

Young HF29 said...

ok please, i beg you tie it up

Young HF29 said...

oh fuck me

moeman said...

bleCH

iRiRi said...

FUCK.

Just as I was about to say " Haha Caps lose 7 in a row"

moeman said...

PleXXXe!

iRiRi said...

PleXXXe!!!

Young HF29 said...

i can't keep up

moeman said...

Gio!!!!!!!!

Young HF29 said...

GIO!!!

iRiRi said...

Gio!!!

But PFK is injured :(

iRiRi said...

Who saw PK skating back to celebrate? LOVE HIM.

Young HF29 said...

fuck fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

meh

iRiRi said...

I'm gonna be sick.

Young HF29 said...

now im in hell

iRiRi said...

What the fuck...

moeman said...

Groan pains.

High Glove Side said...

cockbiter

b said...

That last goal was the beginning of the end of Jacques Martin and his system.

bea.habs.fan said...

watching 24/7 love that they're showing Pens dominating the laffs!

Gotta find the positive where one can

Number31 said...

TWO FUCKING GOALS because the ref closed his eyes. Maybe he's blinded by the orange.

- Misses the highstick on Pouliot RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM and Pleky takes a slashing penalty for Spacek being in a daze: they score on another Spacek error and everyone looking the wrong way.
- No call on the sainted Mike Richards who trips Gomez and the evidence is on the fucking ice, and they score.

Never mind the mass amount of non-calls prior besides not being able to hit the broad side of a fucking barn. Guess they figured we had our 3-on-5 and that was enough 'cause the Habs actually scored on it. Can't have that.

Fuck this shit. Fuck it all to hell. I am suspect of all officiating ever since the e-mail fiasco anyway.

iRiRi said...

4 PPs in last 3 games.

Number31 said...

Pronger: lower-body injury.

Well, at least there's some good to come out of this fucking garbage shit of a game...

Orangeman said...

/walks in to warm house
/opens fridge door to retrieve cold beer
/calmly tosses study materials aside
/sits on comfortable pillowed office chair
/takes sip of said cold beer
/checks box score
/spits out beer onto computer
/denounces the lord our saviour and all of his followers
/needed the win


/opens cupboard to retrieve whiskey

Orangeman said...

/is good and ready to slur his printings.

They lose tomorrow, 8th place. It's deja vu all over again. Then they have the 7 game road trip from hell brought to you by Canadian snowbirds in the Southern US. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I said this was going to be their test? Well, I certainly didn't imagine them starting it off with a disaster weekend first.

They were the only team to not allow 3 goals+ in regulation. Done it twice in 3 games now.

But then there's the reality check. 2/3 of the losses were against the top 2 teams and they were reasonable close losses. But 2 goals in the last, what, 6 mins to lose it? Ugh. Come on. If you're going to be a JM team, be a goddamn JM team and at least get a point.

If all else fails I hear those Junior kids are pretty good this year.

Orangeman said...

Just watched the TSN highlights. Wow, they are really trying to destroy Subban. Apparently he's responsible for all the goals against, dove on the hit from behind and anyone could have scored his goal ('On a pillow'). Show his face whenever anything bad happens. That's seriously fucked up.

But really, D looked absolutely terrible on the last 2 goals.

iRiRi said...

I wonder how many F-bombs came out of Boudreau during last year's playoffs. *snickers*

Number31 said...

Benoit Brunet also tried to pin those errors on PK. Meanwhile Gomez lets Carter walk by him, doesn't even flinch, and Picard has Carter on his side and does absolutely nothing. Let Carter that close to your net and your just praying he misses somehow. How is this all PK's fault? 'Cause he made the turnover by shooting the puck into the FLYERS' zone?!

Same with the Giroux goal. What the fuck was Picard doing? Pickarding his nose with Giroux doing a full jig with Price? Subban tried like 3 times to clear the zone with zero help from anyone who was out there.

Hal Gill had a rough night tipping the puck into his own net and falling asleep as Zherdev made him into a tall, handsome pylon. Spacek should have stayed home injured. Hamr looked slow in the 3rd and blindly cleared the rebound right on to Van Winkle's stick. Hell the entire defence had a terrible night with little help from the forwards, but they saw fit to pick on PK Subban?! If anything his rush up the ice in the 2nd changed their momentum before crashing and burning in the 3rd...