Friday, February 18, 2011

It's All My Fault - Oilers 4 Habs 1

Ryan Jones said the crowd was 55% Oilers fans...meaning 20% of Oilers fans were wearing a Habs jersey, for some strange reason. And yes, my camera had a few beers so it's a bit blurry. I miss GG too.

Fuck. It's my fault.

That's the third Habs' game I've attended here out west, and the first in Edmonton. Same result in all three: the Habs don't show up. What's worse is the game was f'ing BORING save for the in-house crowd battle cries of Lets Go Oilers! vs. Go Habs Go! for most of the evening. There was some effort, but no emotion and little skill outside the Oilers crease.  Although I did see Bit Tits smile during the warmups and thought for sure he was going to score. Then I remembered Count Chokula is his coach so that feeling will be gone half way back to the bench. Guess what? Another big fat goose egg. Trade 'im already, you know the Count wants to.

I spent the entire third period trying to figure out another excuse for the loss besides me. Injuries? Okay, when you've got a basketball player on defence (Nash) and one of the three vets goes down 7 minutes in, your defence is allowed to cause trouble. But the Habs didn't win for lack of defence - save for that 15 second comedy of errors early in the third. (I love you PK, but when you got a guy lined up just outside the blueline MAKE SURE YOU HIT HIM.)

And while TFS (tm) wasn't the problem, he was
certainly outdueled by a dude who could play his grandfather in the HBO production "Habs/Oilers 24/7". (But man is Carey a fine specimen to observe during warmups if you fancy yourself a puckstopper. And he's durable, unlike the fossil across the ice and the Dmen in front of him - AND a certain former crease buddy who was recently put on the IR...but still love you, Jaro!)

Maybe the Habs don't like the West? Well, granted that both Edmonton and Calgary are boring as hell compared to life in the MTL, but there are enough western boys that you'd think they'd know what to expect. And the flip side is they can't claim that they were distracted by the prospect of the cities' nightlife. And surely they were not distracted by those Octane Whores  (*TM Mrs. Panger) "dancing" in the aisles - because you could pick out a random group of females from any Montreal club and get a hotter - and better coordinated - bunch.

But really, it all came back to me. The common denominator is me. And the rest of the Canadiens extended family who have left Montreal. The club knew we were coming (how could they not?), knew we were all psyched to see them - and they consistently shit the bed out West. Is it a feeling of betrayal because a couple of generations earlier the Habs were Canada's Western team (no one outside T.O. has ever enjoyed the Leafs, obviously)? And now these young upstarts - with their "Great One" and tiny collection of Cups and teams stolen from Georgia and goalies stolen from St Leonard - have their own fans? Meanwhile the Montreal team is punishing us for joining these losers (albeit Cup contending losers in Vancouver this year) and abandoning La Belle Province altogether.

Or is it because they get too much love: they know that I and my legions of former Montrealers-but-still-diehard-Habs-fans will pay to see them play even if they lose 10-1 here every time. And we'll even show up for warmups to take crappy, blurry pictures.

Or maybe it's Paul Mara's fault. Keep your equipment carry-on goddamit. You're 6'4, don't tell that 5'2 bitch of a stewardess what you can and cannot do with your stuff.

Well at least it didn't get any worse - oh wait, what's that Wiz's face is telling me from it's hospital bed? Enjoy this shot of The Phantom of Rexall Place back when he had an orbital bone and his basketball playing cousin (sorry, I got nothing else for this Brendon kid yet).

Now cross your fingers for the Heritage Classic: not for a win - we know that's futile! - but for better than    -20 weather so I don't have to pull a James Franco impression and amputate a limb halfway through the third.

Comment me!


They call me Reef Halliday said...

HIO reporting unconfirmed reports that The Wiz is out with facial fractures for possibly 4 weeks. I hope those reports are wrong otherwise we are FUCKED!

Steve said...

Its the same old problem, cant (system say no) score, even when the goalie is either drunk or so hungover his eyelids hurt. I hope Squid has rediscovered the force or its going to be a very shitty playoffs.

Based upon Panger's astute observation of young Nash, how about Air or Nike for his nickname?

Steve said...

@reef, all reports are that defense is not the problem. Its time to unleash the Souray, the anti system, the guy that makes the Urologist look like a shutdown man.

HabsFan29 said...

ok so we need a goon squad to prevent Panger from going to the Heritage Classic I guess

outstanding first hand account Panger! and heh @ Mrs. Panger

Steve said...

Its official more Leaf disease at Boston. They have a new PP specialist lets call him the Eurologist.

When are the Thrashers going to become our proxy team like the Laffs are for the Bruins?

moeman said...

Maybe nickname Nash, 'Steve'.

Is there room in Panger's trunk for Panger?

Orangeman said...


Sorry, just logging on here and saw that disgusting rag in TMS.

So the Big Cheese is out now? Awesome. Yet Gomez could fall out of a 10 storey bldg and walk away unscratched. I guess you have to actually play hockey to get injured, though. Toronto makes another deal with the Bs. Who thinks that Burke is trying to load Boston up so he can swoop in in 2 years and get another Cup (a la Anaheim)? No other team in the league makes any deals, let alone 5 per year, to a divisional rival.

Last night's game left me sad. Bottom feeding teams will win some games, but I just can't stand their attitude. One win in the last 6 and 5 of those games were against non-playoff teams. This is the xmas road trip all over again.

As for Nash, I have taken to calling him "The wrong Nash" as per my earlier trade request. If he steps up and plays well I'll consider changing it to "The wrong Nash, but I'll live".

chris nilan said...

holy sweet fuck i hate the way this team is managed.

the Maritimer said...

If that's the best they can do against THAT defence, they have NO chance against The Flames D or Kipper. Get ready for an arse kicking on Sunday, Panger or no Panger.

Although Canuck's D is on life support as well, Kesler is a beast and will be in Carey's kitchen all night. Looks like an o-fer Western swing...again.

Habsfan10 said...

Dammit, Panger!

Wait, was Mrs. Panger at all these games too? It's entirely possible she's the problem, what with her Brent Bilodeau ties and all.

Either way, dammit, Panger!

the Maritimer said...

Time to turn the page on Saggy Big Tits. He's a lost cause, let him walk on July 1, an unsigned RFA. The Habs will be better for it. Unless there is a miracle performed by the Goat, we have to endure 3 more years of Taco man. Give him 4th line minutes, the less of him I see on the ice the better I feel. The injuries have killed any chance for a lengthy playoff run, let the chips fall where they may and pray the cowardly Bruins and the Philthys collapse somewhere along the way.

Steve said...

@Maritimer, this years Habs have more potential than last years, an improved PFK and Swiss Miss II more than equalize loss of Jorges.

Up front its much stronger with Patches and Chicken growth, and DDD could have a hell of a run.

So if TFS can string it out, and Mex and Tits get interested cause its playoff after all, the sky is the limit.

kevincrumbs said...

Oh well, at least Cheese Whiz will be back for the playoff run, right?

I probably said this about the last Habs Western trip but they should really consider forfeiting their next Western trip and just stay home and rest instead. This is why I went to San Jose to see them one year instead of driving to Vancouver, my closest NHL city.

the Maritimer said...

@Steve, I don't share your enthusiasm after last night. I think the lack of experience on the back end will catch up to the Habs. I like PFK and Swiss Mister II, but the other components either have a lot of mileage or are veritable pylons. All of a sudden I like little tits better than big tits, or even better no tits. Time for some players with balls instead.

Steve said...

@Maritimer, you forgot our secret weapon, the system, oh shit, you are probably correct after all.

lawyergirl77 said...

Dear Panger,

It's totally your fault. Asshole. If you show up at the Heritage Classic, Imma fuck you up next time you come home.

Toodles! My love to the missus!


Steve said...

There is an undercurrent in the Habs Nation today, best captured in this historic speech.

Steve said...

I posted a link to a speech sure to inspire but it got caught in your super duper catcher thing.

HFF33 aka Panger said...

The forcast for the Heritage Classic has gone from minus 1 to minus 9. A few more degrees and you all get your wish.

Mrs. Panger is an Oilers fan, she's never been to a Flames game with me. She hates the Flames with the passion of a thousand suns - or slightly less than I hate the Laffs.

the Maritimer said...

Defencemen are flying off the shelves in all directions, yet the goat continues to spin his wheels. Philthy, Boston and now Tampa Bay are gearing up for war in the playoffs. I guess the Habs time has not yet come, they will hang on to their young up and comers and draft picks and build slowly for the future. I'm OK with that, but certain demons have to be exercised before they can move forward. Remove the Mexican, the Belorussian and the Transylvanian and let freedom reign.

Number31 said...

C'mon Wiz. Throw a face cage on it, even if it looks like the Grand Canyon jumped on his face.

Brendon Nash's nickname is "Neither Steve nor Rick but was O'Byrne's replacement twice". Too long? OK Nash Potato. (His head kind of reminds me of a peeled potato).

Orangeman said...

Speaking of Rhino, how fucking dumb does that trade look now?

Habsfan10 said...

"Mrs. Panger is an Oilers fan, she's never been to a Flames game with me."

So it IS your fucking fault! Dammit Panger!!!

Anonymous said...

Dude I was at that game. 100% agree. Boring as fuck and they didn't even show up. When did the 37 shots happen?!
Gomez is terrible.

Orangeman said...

TSN headline:

"Bruins begin Kaberle Era with victory over Senators"

Kaberle Era? givemeafuckingbreak.

the Maritimer said...

I'm just wondering if the System will work outdoors?
Also wondering what the Blues wanted from Gauthier for Eric Brewer that he wouldn't give it up?
Stevie Y got him for next to nothing as far as I can tell.

wv = Hey Pierre, time to get off derpot!

Number31 said...

I don't think it was so much as to what the Blues wanted as what Brewer had in his NTC... Player has control there.

And that Avs/Blues trade makes absolutely no sense to me. It's like flipping for the same players. Well one player flipped is a good 5 inches shorter (and balder) than his counterpart.

the Maritimer said...

@31, I wasn't aware that Brewer had a NTC, OK, so he didn't want to play for the greatest hockey franchise of all time, that's his loss.
Yes, that St. Louis - Colorado trade was a head scratcher, the Blues may be ditching salary, they are getting new investors I believe. I could understand them wanting Chris Stewart, David Perron never came back from his concussion so they may be hedging their bets there.

It's too bad Gauthier couldn't swing the deal for Brewer though, always liked him.

There is a good discussion over at HIO over the trading thing, one poster said the Habs are basically treading water, won't trade away veterans to rebuild down the road and won't trade prospects or draft picks for immediate help to keep up with the Joneses. Can't say I disagree.