A Category 4 hurricane... No reason why I picked that level... Nope, none at all...
Okay, so there has been lots of hand-wringing in FHFland over the past few days, nay weeks, about the fact that our beloved Habs seem to be on the verge of collapse. Some people believe in our prophesies, others treat us like a bunch of Cassandras (no, not that one, this one) and wish to share their Kool-Aid with us in order to help us see the light.
Wanna hear something nutty? I was GIDDY when Chocula was announced as Carbo's successor. I still think he's responsible for Canada's gold medal at the 2002 Winter Games. The reason why I don't like him anymore is because I think his system is antiquated and stagnant. I would rant about the dump-in line changes, the inability to recognize that two-line passes are now allowed in the NHL and the utter lunacy of having a team of small guys standing on the blue line while their slower and less mobile D-corps brings up the puck, but, hey, I'm a girl. Apparently I should just shut up and go buy a pink sparkly jersey.
I firmly believe that, while Chocula is arguably doing well with the decimated team he has, we're settling for mediocrity. He will never produce anything more than a "meh" team UNLESS he's blessed with a goaltender playing on his head. Anyone else remember that we were down 3-1 to Washington in the opening round of the playoffs last year until Jaro decided to drink some Gummiberry juice?
I think it's high time that the Habs' upper management wake up from its stupor and realize that generations of meh will inevitably sap the life of their franchise/cash cow.
For now, all I see on the horizon is a WhalerCanes team that is 4 measly little points behind us... and I'm worried that they're simply the outer bands of a potentially devastating storm that is about to make landfall.
Waiting in the basement storm shelter: Game is on at 7:00 tonight on RDS, probably the CeeBeeCee, who won't even talk about the game in front of them, but rather about how brilliantly the Leaf played on Thursday night. I give up.
Waiting out the storm with us: The good people at Canes Country have a comprehensive blog that puts us to shame. Shaaaame. But that's why they're members of SB nation and we're just a bunch of foul-mouthed and horny assholes using Blogger.
Winds picking up speed: I'm still putting DDD in here, even though he only plays 5-6 minutes per game. Squid was looking good in Thursday night's game too. Welcome to the Habs, Mr. and Mrs. Sopel... We'll put you in this category for now, but only because your blogs and twitter accounts are rather endearing. We'll see how long it takes for the Habs Media Censors to get a hold of you and indoctrinate you into the groupthink. NHL.com tells me that Jokinen, Cole and Harrison have been carrying the load offensively for the WhalerCanes.
Downgraded to Tropical Storm status: I'm getting sick and tired of writing the usual suspects' names in here, so I've come up with a limerick instead:
There once was a player named Gomez
Who seems to have lost his cojones
While he used to be great,
Now he can't shoot or skate
Can we please ship him somewhere else, RIGHT FUCKING NOW-EZ?
Already evacuated to the emergency shelter: While I don't usually like cheering for injuries from other teams, THANK YOU JEEBUS that Eric Staal is injured. Although, that could play against the Habs by lulling them into thinking that the Canes are a beatable team and that they can take them lightly... So, I expect to get a text from my RDS mobile app any minute now, telling me that Auld is in nets.
As for the Habs: is it crazy for me to think that, yes, the injuries to Markov and Gorges and the rotating lineup of people in the infirmary have screwed the team up... but that the biggest loss of all has been the absence of DarCHe in the lineup??
Keeping yourself distracted while the storm is howling outside: I've already linked to something deeply NSFW above... But, speaking of Kool-Aid...
Comments? Concerns? Insight regarding how much this preview sucks? Doomsday predictions about the Habs' playoff future? Unshakable belief that the future is made of sunshine, roses and tiny fluffy kittens? Talk about 'em in the comments...