Friday, February 25, 2011

Sigh. Leafs 5, Habs 4.

I'm not going to get angry.  I'm not going to get angry.  I'm not going to get angry.  I'm ... okay, the odds are I'm going to get angry. 

About the refereeing.  The first Leaf goal was on a powerplay for the weakest hooking call in the history of hockey.  Kessel's brilliant shot should never have been allowed to happen.  The refs were terrible all game on both sides of the divide.  NHL refereeing is an absolute joke. 

About the goaltending decision.  Alex Auld isn't at fault for goals 1 and 3.  He most certainly is at fault for goal 2.  Jesus Fucking Christ, put your skate on the post.  Why Carey Price wasn't in from minute one baffles me.  No, he can't play every game.  Yes, he just went through a big emotional win out in his home province.  Sure, the Leafs are below Montreal in the standings for now. 

But Price had already shut the Leafs out twice at home this year.  And the Leafs are streaking right now and deserved more respect.  And Price probably felt pretty great saving everyone's bacon in the classic "system" game and was probably raring to go.  And Auld should have played in that fucking ridiculous outdoor game so Price was more rested (you know why Ty Conklin has played in three Winter Classics?  Because glorified shinny games are where you toss in your backup, that's why, Martin.  YOU FUCKING MORON.)  Last night was when the Canadiens needed to step on Toronto's throat and announce that there was no way the ACC was seeing playoff hockey in 2011.  To do that, they needed to have their best player.  You think the Leafs weren't chomping at the bit to get at Alex Auld instead of Price?  Well, fucking Martin didn't.

You know why this review is so late?  Because I honestly couldn't think of the way to put all the angry thoughts I had about Jacques Martin down coherently.  The laundry list of things about that man's coaching last night (and every other night) is actually depressing.  To wit:
  • Last night's best line for the Canadiens was clearly Pleks, Cammy and Halpern.  Naturally, when the Canadiens had a powerplay, the correct decision is to start Pleks, Cammy and Andrei Kostitsyn, who proceeded to suck the life out of every chance, muffed an open net, and handed the puck away at an alarming rate.  You know, a typical night for Forrest Kostitsyn.
  • The kid line of Desharnais, White and Pouliot showed some real jump at times, with White banging and crashing, DDD winning battles, and Pouliot using his size and speed.  So it made perfect sense to give them roughly 6 minutes of ice time all game, and no powerplay time for Pouliot, one of the only Habs wingers with size, speed and a modicum of offensive talent.  Best to let Forrest Kostitsyn slouch his way around for a minute and a half each man advantage rather than say, a red-hot Max Pac or Pouliot.   
  • Lars Eller surely didn't need more than 7 minutes of ice time and no powerplay time or penalty killing time, what with the bang up job the PK did last night agains the vaunted Leafs powerplay. 
  • Sure makes sense to hand 20 minutes of ice time to the black hole known as Scott Gomez ... why, who else can make thirty rushes into the Leafs zone, turn his back at the blue line and make a soft pass to a covered winger?
  • Fantastic idea to start Hamrlik with the Wiz on every powerplay.  I know when I need a goal on the man advantage, I wouldn't turn to my electrifying rookie D-man.  I'd go with the overworked 36 year old for three times as much PP time than some punk kid with a cannon shot and a penchant for end-to-end rushes.  No sirree, don't want to throw any caution to the wind. 
  • And I sure as hell wouldn't want to discuss anything with the referees, whether in a civil tone or not.  Nope, I think it's better to JUST FUCKING STAND THERE DUMBFOUNDED as the game and season fucking drops right off the map in front of me.  After all, my vaunted system has throttled the life out of any possible momentum this team could ever build so why bother? 
  • Oh, and before anyone starts calling for Kirk Muller to get the head job, someone answer me this:  What the fuck is Muller in charge of?  Is there any discernible improvement in any facet of this team's game?  Good fucking Christ, these assholes can't even muster enough guts and brainpower to breakout of their own end in the last two minutes ... are you telling me Muller has all these fucking fantastic plans that Martin just ignores?  Muller and Pearn are just as much of a problem at this point. 
  • And please spare me the "this team is missing so many guys - to have them where they are is a testament to Martin's coaching" bullshit.  With Markov and Gorges and a healthier Cammy, this team would be still finish 5th to 10th.  Last year's miracle run was because Jaro played lights out for two months, the Pens played abysmal and Bruce Boudreau might be the only coach dumber than Martin. 
You know what?  As angry as I am, there's no sense being so.  Because until Jacques Martin is gone, the Habs are going to be outcoached and out-thought more often than not, and only superhuman efforts from Price, Plekanec, Subban, and the rest will overcome that.  That's no way to win in this league.  Really great teams with transcendent stars can win despite their coach.  Really average teams don't.  One can only hope that by the time PK, Price, Max Pac, Louis Leblanc and the rest of the prospects are in their primes that Martin is long gone.  I honestly have not disliked a Montreal coach this much since Bob Berry.  Fuck, even Mario Tremblay's fucking teams were interesting.  So I give up.  I honestly didn't think I would ever say it, but there is absolutely no hope in me that this presently constituted Montreal Canadiens team will win a Stanley Cup.  And that's sad.  Martin's coaching chokes the life out of his players and has choked the joy out of watching the Habs for me (and I'm guessing many others).  He needs to go, or I will.  Watching the Canadiens is a joyless, bitter experience at the moment, and that's the one thing it should never be.  I refuse to be caught in 6th to 10th, middle-round drafting, out in the second round purgatory with that fucking stupid fool jotting shit down behind the bench as his players get fucked by the refs and trampled trying to play his useless system.  The rest of this year already is shaping up as a Bataan death march of win one, lose two, be life-or-death to finish seventh and avoid getting fucking bludgeoned by the Flyers in round 1.  Fuck it.  Why bother?  This is not a Montreal Canadiens team I can love.  So I won't. 


Steve said...

@Habsfan10, I was laughing but they were the tears of a clown. Seriously the opinion in Habland is unanimous, Chocula is a good coach for a lousy team with no talent. Why not start an online petition to present to Geoff Molson. " As a member of the Habs nation I demand better than JM as next years coach"

I would not ask for immediate because there is no way management will risk not duplicating last year.

HabsFan29 said...

Amen, 10! I believe you have captured the zeitgeist (man i love that word) of Habs nation today perfectly

iRiRi said...

Amen. The whole time I was reading this I kept nodding and laughing.

The last few minutes of last night's game summed it up pretty well. It was a touch exciting to watch them press for those 2 goals. I had a little hope when it got to 5-4. BUT those last 90 seconds were the most pathetic display of hockey I've ever seen. How fucking hard is it to organize somewhat of an attack and get out of your own zone AGAINST THE LEAFS?! Why is old man Hamr playing 28:33 minutes AGAINST THE LEAFS?! Remember that article about him wanting to stay here at a reduced price? Pffffff. He's probably praying for a season-ending injury right now.

It kills me that Chokula spend his pressers talking about special teams when the PP is a disaster and the PK, once at no. 1, gets worse by the week. Add that to the fact that they've taken the most minor penalties in the league (and they ain't for roughing).


Steve said...

zeitgiest ofrecord

lawyergirl77 said...

Fuck yeah, 10!! You have this crazy knack of taking the shit we're all thinking and putting into an eloquent form... instead of the "argh! no! Dammit! Shit! Fuck! Fucksticks!" that usually comes out of my cave drawings.

Moey said...

Skate Forrest skate! Right out of the Bell Center to another fucking team please.

Orangeman said...

I'm not even angry at Gomez anymore. He's a slow kid who's being forced into a gifted program. I blame his parents (JM). It's ok that your kid sucks, but don't wrap him in compliments and pretend that he's Einstein/Mario. Like I said last night, 20 minutes of the Montreal Canadiens spitting in my face with that loser on the ice. This team might lose without JM, but they certainly are losing with him for some very obvious reasons. Someone needs to step in here.

Steve said...

Please update the glossary I missed how Tits became Forrest, would bush not be more logical?

Le Douze said...

@lg - but we like your "argh! no! Dammit! Shit! Fuck! Fucksticks!" eloquence. Beats the fuck out of watching the System self-destruct.

I think I'm especially bitter today because I missed most of the second period helping No. 1 daughter with her math. A worthy cause, but it meant that I missed the only really hopeful part of the game. Yes, I have a PVR, but I didn't have the heart to rewind after the atrocity of the first few period. (Or maybe that faint gleam of hope would have just made it worse?)

In theory I can understand why the PK went from impregnable to barefoot and knocked up in the kitchen, but holy FUCK I can't accept that nos boys would allow the leaf to score with impunity with 5 boys to our 4 men. We're the team that stoned the Capitals 89 times in a row last spring, for fuck's sake. Fucking Gomer should spend about a month in the press box, then a couple of weeks doing bag skates with the Dogs, then back to the same cycle as long as the CBA will allow. (Which unforunately is unlikely to be any fucking NEAR long enough.) At least when l'Artiste took a beautiful shot from a sharp angle, it had a good chance of kissing in off both posts, instead of depositing itself directly in the middle of the opposing goalie's chest protector.

Anonymous said...

Why so angry???

Kmaxx said...

Another Awesome summary. But surely They should dump him now and get another coach a decent run up. I won't be able to watch them self destruct in the playoffs. And what is the issue with ddd? HE should be jogging 20 minutes a game - not the Mexican! Oh god - why do I sense that we are about to back into a playoff spot on the last night of the season again?

Steve said...

I want Goat to offer PFK & TFS a contract extension today, one of those 10 year deals.

moeman said...

I agree 100%.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, wtf is up with JM? We (the people) can't possibly be seeing something that upper management isn't? This is clearly about the worst way to use the tools at his disposal, yet he persists. When is his contract up?

Anyway, you really summed up what the bulk of Habs Nation seems to be thinking. Let's just hope PG reads these comments.


the Maritimer said...

@HF10, epic rant, I agree with every word. I'm done with Martin. While he may not be as bad technically as Tremblay, he at least showed emotion. It's almost comical to look at Martin when a penalty is called against the Habs, he just mutters under his breath and sends out whoever.

I almost wish for an epic collapse out of the playoffs just so he will not be brought back.

Why is it that only in Montreal are coaches reluctant to play young players? I've never been able to figure that out in over 40 years. Can you imagine how Stamkos or Crosby would have been destroyed by the likes of Martin?

Chester said...

We're all going to die.

Bill 101 said...

@10 - I happen to think you are brilliant and, in an alternate universe, I would like to buy you a drink for this post.

But I've got 1/2 case of koolaid in the basement still, and I'm gonna keep rootin' for whatever we got till there's no more rootin' to be done.

wv: losing to the leaf makes all of us anoid

Steve said...

@Chester, as Bob Dylan said those who are not busy being born are busy dieing, the important part is the timeline. I am I hope only half way through that journey. I see this Habs team at the start of the journey.

Steve said...

@bill, I am with you, like Churchill said " Democracy sucks, but its the best system we have'

Same goes for Chocula, just hope he does as well in the Philty blitz.

Not a fan said...

You see, this is why your site blows.

You used to be funny, but now you're just another loser who thinks he could coach pro sports.

Team loses - you get angry, so you rant about the coach. There's tons like you in every town in the world thinking the same thing about every sport.

It's not amusing - it's just sad.

And the photoshops suck too.

At least the Leaf blogs are amusing, whether they win or lose.

You guys are slumping worse than Gomez.

Not a fan said...

Oh yeah, and the pics of hot women in bikinis? You know, I can find those on my own thanks.

lawyergirl77 said...

Another thing that sucks about this site?

The trolls.

They used to be amusing, now they're just sad.

Habsfan10 said...

@ Not a fan:

Thanks so much for stopping by. Sorry this free blog we do in our spare time from our jobs and families isn't living up to your high standards. By golly, I promise to work harder to please you, the jaded internet reader!

Your humble servant in hockey analysis and hilarity, HF10.

the Maritimer said...

@Not a fan...

Fuck off back to your leaf blog sites.

scorewatcher said...

looking shitty

McPhee said...

Hey, I gotta get something off my chest, sorry I'm a discording voice here. Chokula coached something like 8 years of Florida Panthers and never turned in a losing season (Martin is 12-1 winning/losing seasons with post-expansion Ottawa but mostly with FLORIDA).

You guys cannot possibly tell me that looking at our mid-season roster anyone can say with a straight face that anyone but Guy Boucher could have turned this team into a "cool sixth place for all season" team.

Also, Halak is not the only reason for our miracle run last year. Both series started exactly the same way : with our star-studded opponents skating like maniacs all around us. By the middle of game 1 of both series the "5-man system" had already started to make the opposition more hesistant to try an individual effort and by the end of the series, they had completely given up their original game plan and were playing a carbon-copy of our system (cycle the puck forever behind enemy lines and hope for an opening). Except it wasn't their system at all. Chokula basically completely outdid the Caps and the Pens back-to-back. When you start playing the opposition's game plan, that's when you're fucked.

So, leave Martin the fuck alone! What is your problem? In what dream world are you living? You think the Habs can afford to play wide-open hockey? Who the hell is supposed to score all the goals? You think another coach could turn that soon-to-be-in-the-KHL fucking sideshow of a Big Tits into a regular scorer? You think Pouliot would start playing to his full potential with a better strategist? "Hey, Benny, look, I figured out something Jacques Martin didn't : you should, like, you know, try your best every night and every shift, so if you could fix that little glitch in your game I think you'd be awesome" and then CHicken would go "oh shit, right. thanks for the pointer, I'm totally gonna care now".

Look, it's hard to score in this league, and it's harder to win games still. Credit Martin for getting all those W's, and obviously Price has a lot to do with that but excellent goalies are torn to shreds on some teams (washington,tampa bay) while other awful excuses for a fat guy with pads can look like fucking George Hainsworth out there if they're properly protected: c.f. philly, boston.

The point is : no Price, Habs last this season. So yeah, we're not in last place because Price is playing great, but where does that leave us? In eleventh place because of all our injuries and poor coaching, or a comfortable sixth place for all season because of a good overall strategy?

In my mind, with this kind of production with an insufficient offence, everyone-injured defence and lone goalie to fight with (not to mention a ridiculous schedule and criminal refereeing), JM should be in nomination for the Jack-Adams award this season. You guys understand all the pieces of the puzzle but you can't seem to put them together somehow.


McPhee said...

Now, Gomez. He spends his shift entering the other team's zone. Ok, he doesn't score, but he spends the entire shift behind the other team's D. Only when he leaves Montreal will people realize : "gee, I guess it IS pretty tough to skate in the offensive zone with the puck, heh? Gomez sucked, but at least he didn't have to dump it in every time".

If we play an ultra-responsible 5-man system, which luckily we do because our third goal scorer is like Pouliot or something (hello? how is an avalanche of goals expected from you?), then obviously goals are going to go down for everyone, and if goals are going down for everyone, then obviously assists are going to go down for top assists guys like Gomez. He came to the Habs off a 9-goal season, what the fuck were all of you expecting? I, for one, love the fact that he spent the first two and a half playoffs games taking five for fighting. It hurt us, but man do I prefer having to manage my top salary's aggressiveness than his Forrestness.

And don't give me that crap "we could do so much with eight million". Um, no, you couldn't. Guess what, it's a tough racket out there. Eight million in cap space does not, repeat, does not materialize into Patrick Kane. Tell me, how many goals would that eight milion have scored, you think? Where would we be if we hadn't gotten a SECOND center two summers ago? Tell me which free agent center we should have signed instead of Gomez? Would Gionta and Cammalleri have signed with us if we signed your phantom center? I don't know how you could ever defend that.

Guess what? Gainey and Gauthier rock. They are constantly stalking the best deals out there and did a really solid job of taking our fresh-out-of-the-shitter team and (admittedly painfully steadily) turned it into a real contender (to those who say we aren't real contenders : fuck you. you can bet against this team if you absolutely want to bet on philly like every fucking Einstein out there, or on detroit just to play the odds, but if I'm any team except Philly I would take a best-of-seven series against this Habs team very, very seriously).

So, yeah, sorry playing the entire game behind the other team's D and beating every good team out there isn't at the level of your connoisseur expections, you douchebags. I think you're all a bunch of spoiled brats and you should all be given the atomic wedgie that you deserve.

This team is amongst the most exciting I've seen, sorry to say (?!!??). We come two, three goals from behind every week, it seems. The guys in the locker room have gelled. These guys go to war together and stand up for each other (all the guys with balls, which excludes only Ivanna Fuckalot and CHicken), block shots, take hits, go to the net, get their noses dirty, forecheck, backcheck and, most importantly, win hockey games while scoring almost only highlight-reel goals or truly-deserved goals.

And how many prospects have blossomed lately? Care to give a little credit somewhere along the way or are you just going to continue to assume it's perfectly normal to keep adding D-men who score and play good defense and fast, strong wingers who already know how to play 5-man hockey because they learned it playing for our farm team?

Anyways, Habs rule, and they will only rule more as the next few seasons unfold. And I hope by then some of you will stop pissing on the great show these guys are putting on.


Steve said...

McPhee, well said Mr Molson, but just because you own the team does not make you any smarter than than the average fan who drinks beer, does meth and loves the habs.

Fact is we can document and its obvious where Chocula is sucking the life out of this team. As HabsFan10 said you give me a stone wall like Halak or TFS and I will look like brillant coach just because I have more notebooks than Donald Rumsfeild,.

b said...

This all has the sense of deja vu all over again. How is this team different from the last team Carbo coached? Different people, but better? What I want to see is 20 guys who want to go like Desharnais went two games ago. Up the ice right to the net, fast. Chocula plays tired players. He allocates ice time so that his best guys on paper are his most tired guys on the ice. In the offensive zone he hasn't had a guy in the high slot ever. The puck goes there. The other team goes out of the zone with it. This system has given up more odd man breaks than I have ever seen on a team coached by a defensive "genius." Every swivel of puck control allows the other team to get three steps on our guys. Thus we rarely create situations where the other team has to take a penalty. Remember all those possibilities with Carbo's teams? The offensive game plan is blind the other teams goalie, or hurt our guy who is standing in front of him with a shot. No people moving across the slot. Lots of standing still. Zero creativity. Granted people are hurt. Granted those guys on TSN ( Toronto Snots Network) always say "You have to go to the net" but you know a little art and a little speed never hurt anybody. Washington collapsed last year because their steroids guy got busted. Haven't found a new one yet. The Pens, that was Halak. If the system was so great, we would have been in the final.

Number31 said...

JMart has no idea what momentum is. It was this team's biggest problem last year other than Perry Pearn blindly rolling the D which gave MAB a regular shift.

Tonight I saw the BabyHabs kick the BabyFlyers around. Jimmy Bonneau gave some guy noogies. Most satisfying.

Flying Toaster said...

Jesus christ commentors need to calm down a bit. Breathe people, breathe! And McPhee, I get your point but really you're coming off as someone who would defend whatever happens with the habs, ever. To deny this team's faults is to look away from reality itself. Does Gomez suck? Heck ! Was there a better alternative at the time? No. Is there one now? Definitely! Can 8 million get us anything better? Well 5 million got us Squid didn't it?

Mr.natural said...

WOW! Sure is exciting here today.

HF10 losing his shit is great, love the emotion coming through.

McPhee makes some valid points,not a fan said is just another agent provocateur(without Minogue in her underwear,hey how's that for some sexy pics? GOD I was so hoping losing to the Leafs would bring out WC's balls).

Sure Washington has a coach that should/will be fired in the off season, we have injuries, TFS is great, CHocula could really use some pointers in the offensive zone from Jacques Lemaire, King of the System.

Except for the PHucktards, Wings, Bolts and maybe 'nucks, we live the great dream of all professional sports, "parity" God bless you Buttman.

All teams blow hot and cold, the season is too long and takes it's toll on the players emotionally and physically so we get a lot of suckage.

Just need to make the playoffs and tailor our strategy to the opposition on a series x series basis.

We will be fine.

Now NEVER say anything positive about Tremblay's nuclear destruction of the Habs under his watch, he had emotion but a bigger ego and certainly neither enough knowledge, experience or smarts to be a head coach in the NHL, his best friend Reggie gave him the job, case closed.

In conclusion my biggest worry is CHocula's inability to take a Senator's team so loaded with talent it should have won at least two cups, any further than he manged to do and his reluctance to tweak the system to benefit from particular skills of individuals.

He's could take Stamkos and turn him into a 14 goal a year man and then trade him 'cause he's not producing offensively.

P.S. thanks for Piano bar help. taking Mrs.n out to one tonight.


HabsFan29 said...

Man scorewatcher was right. Ugh

thx for stopping in not a fan! we appreciate your input. your horribly, horribly misguided input

Mcphee I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter