Thursday, February 10, 2011

Somebody better pay for last night - Islanders Game Preview and Open Thread

No word of a lie, but this pic came up when I googled "Islander Girls".  Even the slutty ice cleaners get dissed on Long Island

(Ed's note - this post was written by HF10, who is having computer / Fuck Blogger issues)

Look, I don't care who pays for it - the Islanders and their fifth string goalie, the cheapshot Bruins, Scott Gomez, that comatose fucktard Chocula, Pierre Gauthier, Pierre Maguire, I DON'T FUCKING CARE. But someone, somewhere, needs to answer for this team. Talk all you want about not backing down, or fighting back, or scoring six goals, or whatever.  Tell me "once PK, Price, Eller, Leblanc, Tinordi and Pacioretty have experience ..." it'll be Cups galore. 

No, it won't. Not with Jacques Martin's "system",  unless one of the forward prospects morphs into a game changing superstar whose offensive talents can simply overwhelm the "system".  Because otherwise, your lot in life as a Habs fan until Chocula is gone is watching the Ottawa Senators circa 2004 but minus Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfredsson.  An entire team of Mike Fishers/Chris Kellys/Tomas Plekanecs/Tom Pyatts/Peter Schaefers/lobotomized Andrei Kostitsyns. Solid? Sure. Playoff bound? Yep.  Gonna get run out of the second round every year unless the goaltending is otherworldly? Guaranteed. 

Fuck that. 

I've seen that show most years since 1993 and it sucks.  To top it off, when this team gets out of Chocula's comfort zone like last night, it doesn't have the muscle, offensive or defensive talent to win anything resembling a slugfest or shootout.  Great news in an Eastern Conference full of young, stacked teams full of scorers and head crackers. Can't wait for Dustin Byfuglien, Bryan Little, Zach Bogosian and Ondrei Pavelec to be 2.5 hours down the road from the Bell Centre wearing fleur de lys jerseys.

Don't even get me started on Scott Gomez today. 29 already covered it in the TMS. I can't believe I agree with Jack Todd at the moment, but so help me, I do. 

Thank Christ Charles Wang isn't going anywhere on Long Island yet. There's still the Islanders. Hey, let's talk about them!

The details:  Game time at 7:30 at the Centre Bell.  Isles coming off loss the the Leafs that featured their fifth string goalie. Habs have been fairly good lately, but last night's mess could leave them broken and tired tonight. 

Who's hot:  Isles speedster Michael Grabner has 8 goals in his past 11.  Wunderkind John Tavares is leading the Isles in scoring, has 4 points in 4 but is still a -22.  Is Captain Gio hot?  He seems to be the only one scoring at a regular clip.  Max Pac is also looking good.  Hmm, both of them have been playing with Plekanec, not Gomez. Hot tip of the hat to Benny Pouliot, who dropped David Krejci last night.  Man, if he ever puts everything together, look out.  Hey, anyone else want to give Gomez's wingers to David Desharnais and see what happens?  I sure as hell do. 

Who's not:  Look, I could tell you I don't want to pile on Scott Gomez, but that wouldn't be true.  He takes stupid penalties, he looks disinterested, and all the little good things people say he does get lost in the big numbers that sit beside his name.  I'm quite certain Scott Gomez has value as an NHL player, but right now, to my eye, he looks like a huge liability more often than not.  The defence looked awful last night, and Price alternated between sublime and - what?  Tired?  Fed up?  Bad Carey?  Dunno.  For New York, well, if they aren't hurt, they're terrible.  So they've got that going for them. 

Who's hurt:  Markov. Cammy. Gorges. Is Tommy Pyatt alright after getting cheapshotted a dozen times by whiny sucky baby Greg Campbell, who is going to hide behind his Daddy and escape all punishment? Is Jaro 2.0 going to be more dazed after taking 20 uncontested shots to the noggin? Islanders can't field a competitive team when healthy, so losing (deep breath) Marc Streit, Doug Weight, Mike Mottau, Trent Hunter, Mark Eaton, Blake Comeau, rookies Rhett Rhakshani and Jeremy Colliton and goalies Rick DiPietro, Kevin Poulin and Nathan Lawson does not help. 

Who?: Fun fact - the Isles traded for former Ranger bust Al Montoya (picked 6th overall in 2004) to shore up their goalie depth since the NY crease is becoming some sort of Spinal Tap drummer's chair. Montoya was THE BACKUP for Phoenix's AHL team. Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Islanders!!!!

Who's watching:  Despite the wisecracks and the half-empty rink, the Isles still have some hardcore fanatics, including the folks at Lighthouse Hockey.

Who's that:  Why, it's the stripper at one of Montreal's finest establishments after the game, that's who. 

61 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

amen, 10!

man that ice girl looks like Shakira. nttawwt

Steve said...

That rant would be a perfect power point presentation for Mr Molsen at the next board meeting. In this shit trap cycle screen and block league any team can easily make the playoffs, and Montreal can do that for the next 20 years and still turn a profit. BUT FUCK THAT MR MOLSEN!!

Hadulf said...

We should have traded Auld and Gomez for Tavares. Straight up.

I'm delusional.

Bill 101 said...

"Spinal Tap drummer's chair"

most excellent

GYFHG!

Daddy Says said...

Mike Fisher to the Preds for a 1st rounder.... Now Ottawa has no redeeming qualities AND WE SAT ON OUR ASS. I would have killed to get Fisher in the bleu blanc et rouge.
Fuck Gomez, Fuck the Bs and Fuck the laffs (just cause)

GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO.....

kevincrumbs said...

Mike Fisher? Meh.

Steve said...

There is already lots of cuntry in Montreal, no way Carrie was moving

L Dude said...

I love games against the Isles! Long Island Iced Tea and fishsticks are my traditional 'game day meal'.

I tuned in expecting to watch the Habs last night and there was a rerun of the 1970's Bruins Goon Squad on. Fuck that shit.
Somebody get Gomez and Tits some Who-Hash quick. Maybe it'll help their hearts grow a size or two before gametime.

WV: crises. No explanation needed.

HabsFan29 said...

this belongs in the other post, but whatever. here's the teaser on tsn.ca for their afternoon Habs ribbing:

Following Wednesday night's humbling at the hands of the Boston Bruins, it's clear the Montreal Canadiens need some additional toughness to avoid being bullied.

"humbling"? eat shit TSN. "it's clear"? to you assholes maybe. "being bullied"? ask Krejci how his bullying went. or how about asking the refs why they lost control of the game. seriously fuck off TSN

copyranter said...

Agree 100%, HF10. Team is going nowhere under Large Head.

moeman said...

29 knows.

Don't read the tsnesn pukefunnel

moeman said...

Not gonna harp too muCH but can you imagine Guy BouCHer behind the benCH last night?

b said...

This is following the earlier post- don't blame the defensemen, blame the system. They've all been taught to pressure and be pylons, rather than fluidly backup with coverage. Once it goes wide open, the system sucks. But hey, a couple of missed shots made and we would've won. And I loved the team spirit, even if its in the box (actually, especially if its in the box. I used to love those days when I was a teenager). Time to unload on the Islanders.

HabsFan29 said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST moe why didn't you tell me not to read that TSN pukefunnel???

oh you did. carry on.

moeman said...

29, forewarned is forearmed. Hopefully the Habs got the message for the next Bs tilt and our boys will make em' shiver.

Kmaxx said...

@10 - Awesome post and I agree - put it in a powerpoint and send it to Geoff Molson with a note entitled 10 reasons why that useless fuck Martin must go now and not after we lose in the 2nd round. Pukefunnel is a loads of bollocks as we say over here.Everyone is taking this right out of proportion. Lets see how the boys respond tonight and then we'll talk.

Now GYFMFHG!

moeman said...

Agreed with Kmaxx, great post 10.

Steve said...

Chocula is our Mubarak

HabsFan29 said...

off to Hurleys for some pre-game drinking. catch y'all after 3 pints of Harp and some Bushmills...

moeman said...

29, DO NOT GO HOME!

moeman said...

@Steve, today's headline "Mubarak refuses to step down".

Just sayin'. Riots?

moeman said...

Like I've suggested all fucking year kids, tsnesn will get all their jollies by ragging the Habs.

Hey, Geoff, Molson, call someone and make these leaf-loving, bruins-sucking fucks own up to their Habs contract. Fuckers!

Moey said...

For the love of God, what's Melnick smoking today? I usually enjoy listening to him. It was one fucking game. We're missing 3 key players. In spite of that, the game could have gone either way last night. Some people really need to chill.

moeman said...

mcsplooge just gave loopedall the Hart.

Oh oh, up next, tsnesn will discuss the Habs 'debacle'.

Anonymous said...

What a load of cobblers. team loses one game and its the end of the world as we know it. The system is crap, our team is crap, everyones crap ... blah blah blah.

Nothing wrong with the team, one loss dont make a season, take the rough with the smooth and get a grip.

moeman said...

OK. mcsplooge. Enough already. We know you have pedotendencies. We all have Lolita moments. Just not on national TV. Just now, you splooged over Beauchemin's World Jr. career. How long ago was that? You have polaroids (google it kidz)? We get it. You think burke is 'magical'. We know you are bucking (monster!) for a GM spot. You have a problem and it isn't just buffing your bald bulb. You are psyck pee-air. Always, always regressing to NHLers 'junior' days. Too fucking weird. As Pierre Trudeau said, we don't care what you do in your bedroom. Just keep your jizz fantasies to yourself and your fleshlight and brian burke off course.

Bounty! The Quicker, picker, upper.

Orangeman said...

Hey 29, I'm off to Brutopia in a bit. If you here glass breaking, cop sirens and women shrieking outside think Orange.

Let's be honest, the English media (esp TSN) has been waiting for something like this to jump on since the beginning of the season. They were pissed the Habs made it so far despite their predictions for a 12th place finish last year. Somehow their near identical records and the fact that the Habs have owned them for the last 2 seasons have disappeared and suddenly it's a crisis.

As entertaining as it was for most of last night, that's not standard hockey. Maybe Montreal can't keep up with that style, but last time I checked you win by scoring more goals and they're pretty good at doing that. As much as TSN wants us to believe, winning a fight in the last minute of a hockey game against a non-fighter while using a piece of equipment in mid-February doesn't win Stanley Cups. Where was all the hysteria about the Bs being unable to keep up with the Habs as we won the first three meetings? No, these guys prefer to see goons beating on scorers even if that has very little to do with the outcome.

And that's my 4th treatise on the subject. Now to go out and watch the Isle game. Woo...hoo?

Orangeman said...

Holy shit moe, just read that pukefunnel. MY EYES! Hyberbole much? Start of a tailspin? I just imagine the guys at the desk watching the Spacek fight on a loop and jerking each other off. Like I said, these morons have been waiting for any sort of crack to pounce on this team.

moeman said...

Hmm, let's see;

- Habs play leaf on hnit Saturday (think truculence, pugnacity, testorontorone)

- 1 game NHL wonder, doneanderthal loves him some loser leaf and bruin (60s/70s Cup winners)

- xeno/homo/euro/franco phobe cherry has yipped about elbow pads causing injury since he was disgraced out of the NHL (Jack Adams!)

- his buddy's son, family name campbell (relation to the one that instigated the RiCHard riots?) wails on a Hab with his elbow pad

- milbury beat people with a shoe and said it warmed his heart (he has one?) when chara slashed PatCHes

- will these two sick fucks get a cbc soapbox to rip the Habs?

- do you have a mortgage?

- bet it

Orangeman said...

I really should let this go, but:

"The Canadiens were pummelled in the brawls and on the scoresheet Wednesday night"

Yes, 'pummelled' by 2 goals. sigh.


"Bruins flexed their muscles to pull off their first win in four meetings with Montreal this season.

That had many fans and commentators suggesting (the Habs) are...too small and not tough enough to beat bigger, physical teams like Boston..."


So this is the first time out of 4 games the Bs won, yet MTL is 'unable' to beat them. Logic is such a drag.

"One of Campbell's elbow pads slipped down so it appeared he was punching Pyatt with the pad, which likely was one reason the Montreal winger emerged with a black eye and a seven-stitch cut on his face.

Reports on Thursday said that the NHL disciplinarian, Campbell's father Colin, did not see any cause for any fines or suspensions."


This is my shocked face.

Orangeman said...

Ok guys, I may have OCD over this issue. Just watched TSN's top 10 Habs/Bruins moments. Let's see, we have the Bs 1991 playoff win, Ribero's 'injury', the slash on Kovalev that lead to a goal, the cheap elbow to Zednik's face in 2003 and then there's 4 random fights (the one the Habs actually one had the ending cut off). Oh, and 1979. Because apparently in MTL's century old domination of the Bs that is the only time they actually had the upperhand.

I feel like I'm watching the North Korean state news station. Again.

moeman said...

0man, just think about where tsnesn is based. They'll be cheering the new nordicks soon enough. They are haters.

moeman said...

Ref, Tim Peel, born, toronto.

If pollock and/or lee ref Saturday, we are hooped.

LeBuuuuut said...

Remember yesterday when the game was fast and exciting?...

moeman said...

PatCHes!

Kmaxx said...

Cheez Whiz is having a fuckin' shocker this period!

Kmaxx said...

Shit...poor work effort by Mac Pac

Kmaxx said...

PFK is having a shocker too!

HabsFan29 said...

I am HOME and I am TANKED

dammit i left Hurleys it was 1-0, now it's 1-1. could be worse. we could be being DOMINATED by the Bruins (© TSN)

moeman said...

LeBlanc!

HabsFan29 said...

CHicken!!!

moeman said...

Gets an assist on CHicken!

iRiRi said...

CHicken. White meat only!

HabsFan29 said...

a semi-decent shift from the Gomez line!

/faints

uh, it's against the Isles

HabsFan29 said...

I just noticed Auld has a Dryden tribute mask with a 29 on it. i'm touched

HabsFan29 said...

oh cheez whiz

HabsFan29 said...

crap

i really hope we don't lose this game

moeman said...

PleXXXe!

HabsFan29 said...

pleXXXXXXXXXXe!

iRiRi said...

PleXXXe!

wv: wingsbe

HabsFan29 said...

ugh

LeBuuuuut said...

Subban isn't playing so well...

iRiRi said...

FUCK YEAH A POINT !!!1!

Bill 101 said...

go gomez go

for fuck's sake

iRiRi said...

This team gives "offensively challenged" a whole new meaning. Ugh.

matt - fear the collapse said...

Fear the collapse...

Fishfeet said...

Well, if it stays like that, at least saturday's game will be en even-skill game. So ... when's the team in Quebec's gonna be around ?

Matt - ftc said...

Fold the team for 3years

ti-cul said...

fuck the mex.

ti-cul said...

go Nords

ti-cul said...

fuck the system. fuck it. fuck fuck fuck shit fuck