Sunday, February 27, 2011

OsCHar night ~ Habs 4 - Canes 3 ~ Game review and Open the envelope thread

Who wouldn't love to have CHarlize on their mantle? Oh wait, I'm here for a game review. One where our Habs weren't necessarily golden but they did take home a nice win, inCHed further away from 9th, stuck to (in?) The Fucking System™, netted some nice goals, PKilled and almost ran on empty netting a rare one. Fellow and feline cooCH potatoes, get your corn popped, gulp that big Pepsi and lets see what was on the big sCHreen.

An ugly duckling according to blacksploitation nutjobs like cherry, loopedall, the CotU mediots and PHucktard richards, Habs star-ladened ingenue PFK! is growing and playing his game and right before our eyes is turning into a beautiful Black Swan. Bonus, Natalie Portman is fucking יפה .
Rated: 5 kleeneXes for tear(jerking) Score: ♥♥♥♥

No one, especially us CHicken-loving FHFers, thought top billing Benoit would be known as The Fighter. Bonus, lotsa meth-induced coaCHing scenes that you'll never remember. Or will you? Sub-titled in Franco-Ontarian. Rated: 5 Cages aux Folles wings  Score: ♥♥♥

Is Sopel (on a Ropel) our Inception going into the playoffs? Bonus, he has a hot wife who blogs, in her basement, in her pyjamas! UnRated and no Director's cut, yet.  Score: ♥♥♥

Eller, Desharnais, Subban, Pacioretty, Price, Weber, Pouliot, Muller, yeah we know The Kids Are All Right, but does the coaCH? Bonus, The Who! Rated: Fun for the entire FHFamily  Score: ♥♥♥♥
In his most wooden performance to date, CHocula is a stutterer who just can't give The King's SpeeCH to the fucking refs, instead he takes notes on his iScratCHPad. Bonus, th-h-he sy-sys-syst-system is wo-work-workin um, OK! We need Director Jacques Martin SCHorsese to fuck up the joint with some bloody action! Rated: ZZZ  Score: ♥♥

Hey Goat, 127 Hours or less to trade deadline. Bonus, taking the day off to catCH all the exciting news. Double bonus, you don't need to cut your arm off, just CHange the fucking CHannel when dreger and mcplooge start blowing brian burke. Oh wait, so is kypreos. Rated: FU Score: ♥♥♥

According to lurking reviewer Anon, FHF is the fucking fuckingest fucking best of all The Social Network sites. Bonus, sure you can poke someone on Facebook but at FHF you can literally poke 29! Rated: F Score: ♥♥♥♥♥ ovenmitts

Better Pixarlated than never, 13, 46 and 35 become animated in Toy Story 3. Bonus, being named Woody. Rated: 3DDD Score: ♥♥♥♥

Tomas is the Habs' True Grit. Bonus, it kind of fun saying Rooster Cockburn.
Rated: PleXXXe Score: ♥♥♥♥♥
Also, like you I miss our award-winning GG but check out this perfectly painted pic.

At this time of year the cbc/hnic always rubs it's blue and white Winter's Bone. Bonus, they remain flaccid the other 11 months of the year. Here's an idea, less bob cold/fx, more viagra. Screen writing nomination goes to N31, the academy throws rotten tomatoes at jim hughson. Rated: BleCH Score: Heartless


Kmaxx said...

You know what - I figured out something here...a lot of what was written here in the last couple of days was a direct result of losing a game to the leaf. It seriously fucks you up and demands that you re-examine everything you think you know. That's what happened here lat week. We lost to the leaf and nothing made any sense. Last night, the Habs won and the laef lost - the world has been returned to its normal axis. All is well (sort of...)

Steve said...

Wonderful Oscar review LOL

A toss of the puck to one of our own
Jay Baruche. Habs Fan and Squid mat extrodinare. He says he wants to make a horror movie, I would call it "The Fucking System" TM)Subtitle " when Vampires Coach".

HabsFan29 said...

very skillfully done moe. you should write for Variety

set the poke machine to automatic, i'm going to get a nap in so i can stay up to the end of the Oscars at 3 AM

moeman said...

R.I.P. Duke Snider.

Number31 said...

I haven't seen any of the movies going for Oscars...though I'm reading the True Grit book. Got it on my Kindle. I'll just buy the DVD later.

Number31 said...

John Tortorella deserves an Oscar for Best Press Conference. Too bad he'll probably get fined again.