REVENGE. BLOOD. WAR. THE BATTLE FOR PATCHES AND THE SOUL OF HOCKEY. These are the themes that are swirling around the sixth and final meeting of the regular season between the Habs and Bruins tonight. At least if you're watching TSN. Blood lust is very exciting! But then we read yesterday that Chara has tried to reach out to PatCHes. What a lovely gesture! Who cares that he has yet to apologize or anything. I'm sure that's exactly what he was trying to do! You always apologize to the guy you almost maimed privately before you do it in public. That's just good manners! And any Canadian loves good manners. So that got us to thinking - a nice gesture, some good manners, maybe there are some things to love about the Bruins. Ten things even! Sure, anyone can list 10 things they hate about a rival, or even 20, but can we find ten things to love? Of course we can! We're drunk and / or high. Anton, drumroll please...
10. Delightful Bruin fan visitors to FHF! Like Cornelius! And Cornelius! And, uh, that other guy! Come back Cornelius.
9. The rise of former Bruins coaches Don Cherry and Mike Milbury to prominent positions at the CBC has granted us precious time to eat and masturbate during intermissions because we have to turn them off.
8. Bruins futility and skinflint ownership long ago forced The Sports Guy to abandon his Bruins fandom. Can you imagine if we had to deal with his pompous ass talking about the Bruins and hockey all the time? Ugh. We've been saved! We love you for that Bs!
7. They've got the second or third best jersey in the league. Sure, their old 3rd jersey was an abomination to mankind, but the original black and gold is solid. And black is always classy, like a tuxedo. Just look at the Raiders!
6. Ice Girls! We love ice girls. Ok maybe they're not Atlanta southern belles or anything, but it takes something special to be one of only two original six teams with ice girls.
5. The TD Garden provides valuable marketing exposure for our Canadian corporations.
4. Mark Recchi! Always nice to see players I loved in a Habs uni remembering to bring up their old club in interviews.
3. Their coach used to be our coach. That counts for something, right?
2. This Bruins Commercial. A giant bear beating the shit out of a Bruins fan and a cute CHick wearing a Habs jersey. What's not to love?
And the number one thing we love about the Bruins...
1. Without them, who we gonna hate?
7:00 PM start from Boston, on the regular blood lust-y TSN. There's nothing to preview, you know as well as I do what's happening, who's good and who's bad and who's injured and who's a game-time decision. Go read a real preview or use the Google if you want actual information. I would just love to see the fucking puck drop already. And for no one to get hurt.
Bring your own drunken-high passive-aggressive love-hate in the comments
335 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 335 of 335Ok, I'm used to Gomer being useless, but now he's actively trying to destroy this team. If I see him on the ice at after this penalty that's it for me tonight.
Can we petition the government to deport Gomez?
Gomez you dumb fuck!!!!!!
Do I get a prize for being 201?
@Steve: that was Gio. Unbelievable. Simply....unbelievable. It's become apparent we were all much more hyped for this game than they were.
Scott fuckin Gomez for fuckin' retenu. FUCK!!!
I need a concensus please...it's coming up on 12:45 am over 'ere...is this shit worth my staying up anything past the end of the 2nd? Anyone smell a comeback?
Bench his ass Martin you fucking twit!!!!!!!
Gomez' pass first mentality is spreading. that's just cruel
You know who recently got shut out 2 games in a row? The fucking Florida Panthers, that's who. FFS.
mara cares
Go to bed Kmaxx, you won't miss a thing.
Here comes a 50 game suspension for Mara.
Two games minumum for Mara
Unacceptable, Gionta. You miss a chance like that you don't deserve anything.
Yes, Mara cares. He might be the only one tonight.
Mara's giving some honey badger
Kmaxx I agree the Habs at this moment are just about as fucked as Cameroon.
Beauty hit by PFK! Nice going Yukon CHornelius but Bs pup's dad collie will likely add you to his shit list, alongside PatCHes.
So it's come down to only expecting a goal from two defensemen, one a rookie the other a mid-season aquisition. And even then they need a PP (yeah right) to have a chance.
Yogi Mara says, the game ain't over til its over. Then there's the playoffs.
The Honda commercial rocks in English, in French not so much. Not just the language the actors as well
Meanwhile, Carey Price is going to go borrow some milk crates from Rask to throw at someone.
3 for 10 in remaining games
I hope fucking Gomez is playing for Ak Bars Kazan next season. What a waste of 7 million dollars.
Squid even more than TiTs needs a feed. He is not a dipsy doodler, he need a one time shot. They need to work on a PFK to Squid play. PFK brings it deep and hits Squid, fuck I should be coaching this team.
Steve
Welcome to Canada and the internet
Hey, tsn panel, did the Bruins just win the Cup?
@anon thanks so far I think both are fucking excellent.
blob, Gill's back now? he had the fucking flu. If they lose its 4-2 for the season? Early playoff hate for the Habs?
I am impressed with the RDS French panel,they are not only handsome, animated, love it.
Good for Peca's comments about Ric Martin but tsn never, ever does the human side. Ever.
@Steve, I would switch the channel but I am keeping an eye out for mcsplooge calling out his 'best hockey friend' recchi. So far, no go.
Really we have come to far to fast, to young. It was not a month ago I was thinking 2013 peak, maybe I was right.
easy save
Mexican't did a good pass
mcsplooge, such an arrogant prick.
Did you just see 3 Habs players tripping over each other, Howie Meeker just had a stroke
Bad bounce game.
Seriously, fuck this team.
Good night
lg, I ❤ ya but I can barely hang on to listening to mcsplooge call out recchi.
For the love of God Chocula pull price
Try any less, Habs. I think you may have broken a sweat.
Dear Notepad.
embarrassing
it's too depressing for words.
i honestly don't know what's worst: Recchi's dumbass comment
or this teams pathetic play
I'm with 29 - throwing in the oven mitt
Death Watch
wv: wifixe?
Sigh. It's now laughable how much I was excited about this game because it's clear the Habs couldn't care less.
USA chant. There ya go, stupidest fans in pro sports.
They may have failed to kill Patches, but they seem to have killed our pride.
Yes, was totally pumped all day, and Habs just killed it. I'm embarassed, Booins and Laffs fans are gonna have a field day. USA! USA! USA!
Arrrrggg this fuckin team sucks. Couldn't even get it up for PatCHes
It should have been 35-0 by now.
Bring back the Bulldogs and whatever, hire Pascal Vincent already.
Just a game kidz. Bs ice a full team and can savour their 2nd win in 6 vs. a still not complete team but no excuses, Habs haven't shown up tonight and made it easy for these league-pampered fucks.
Never been more embarrassed to be a habs fan than tonight
mcsplooge, 'taking on the identity of cam neely'. Do it fuckers cuz the overrated neely won squat.
I agree Riri. I just feel stupid for caring so much now seeing how little these millionaires do. But think how Patches feels. This is how his team responds to his near death.
I know I've been hard on Gomer, but his presence on the ice this period is an insult to the fans after his performance in the 2nd.
mcsplooge sucking collie's son. Sick.
WTF is McSplooge calling this game? No wonder they're losing. They tend to lose the games he calls.
Moe - you can stop watching. I'm not that heartless. Besides, I knew that McSplooge calling out Recchi would be as likely as 29 actually making good on his promise to get us the ice cream he used to promise to get for us...
Fuck this - I'm gonna go do laundry or some other menial chore.
two things.
#1: Sopel may have broken the record for most unchallenged giveaways in the history of the game.
#2: I'm still proud to be a Habs fan because although we've obviously lost this game. None of our players are trying to injure, fight or decapitate any of the Bruins.
That is why we will always be better than Boston.
Take a look at Chara's stick, you could use it a a central beam in the roof of a house.
Flat. Flat Flat, thats it, no passion no mas no struggle. You dont have to be Donald Trump to figure out MEX your fired.
So... They couldn't get a puck past Auld in the warmup when they crashed his net for 1:26? Christ. Should've packed up and went home then and there.
*pukes*
Kaberle scores a goal every 3 years fuck
You know Joel Bouchard keeps going up in my estimation - he can still be a dickhead from time to time but at others he sounds like he knows what he's talking about...
BTW - anyone see a goal for the Habs tonight 'cause I sure as shit don't.
Just so I'm clear on this. We had to pick up Gomez's 5 years at 8 million (almost) per so we could have a chance to sign Cammy and Gio, right? Cuz I still have some respect for Gionta but other than that...
At this rate, just take the puck and aim for the shins or feet.
Merci lg.
I'm calling this game and I'm calling the Bruins a useless dumbass organization worthy of mcsplooge's splooge.
Avalanche!
Face on face. What a fucking stupid comment.
I bet Marchand gets a bonus from the league for that hit.
More phone calls from Buttman, now that the game is out of reach, call some fucking penalties
Okay, Mex is mad now! Beware, Bruins!
SCORE A FUCKING GOAL HERE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS PATCHES IS WATCHING FFS.
Sick.
That was ... a goal... Why no review?
Oh fuck what the hell was that Wiz...
Why would Patches even want to come back to this?
ooooch, the Bruins get more chances killing the powerplay than we do playing it, is the urologist back?
Who was it that suggested the game should've been forfeited?
Finding new ways to be fucking pathetic. It's beyond comprehension.
*picks up jaw from floor*
This is an absolute fucking disgraceful effort by the Habs.
One simple question which should be asked of the entire squad when they walk off the ice tonight: Where's your fucking pride?
I can't even
I swear Gio scored on that 5-on-3. Where's the replay check on it?!
Not that it really fucking matters. Ride home will be DEAD QUIET.
This just in: The Scott Gomez Fan Club is a family-run outfit
wv: singe
meh, meet these fuckers in the playoffs and shove their home ice advantage down their fucking ugly throats.
So... Bagskate tomorrow?
Seriously, the worst thing about this is we have to hear it from Bruins and Leafs fans.
I stuck with the Habs through their darkest years, even bought tickets to watch their vain attempts at 'hockey'. But I've never seen a fuckshitfest like this. A team under Saku would never put this kind of effort in. I can take losing (I'm a Habs fan, afterall) but this...this is fucking pathetic.
Apparently, Gomez is playing with a broken nose right now.
Do we even feel bad?
Why the fuck is gomez still on the PP...Him and Cammy need a fucking reality check..
That was the worst game I have ever experienced,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH
Who was the prick that scored after the buzzer? What a douche.
Drive down the ice and shoot after the horn? What the fuck?
I'm too pissed off to even go to bed - which I should have done an hour ago - fuck that was pathetic!
Maybe they let in the 6th and 7th goal for Patches.
*bursts into tears*
Man, I can't wait to see what they have to say about their effort.
@Steve. Yup.
Swallow it FHFers. Worst game in a long while. Worst time to do it. Can only get better. Enjoy the fact you aren't a B or leaf fan. Take the high road, the next day or so will be painful. Don't click on pfuck daddy.
Mike Milbury just said essentially that this win avenged Chara breaking Patches neck.
Wha??
N31, tyler seguin, dumbass rookie B but not the prick marchand is and will continue to be.
Let me do the game review for you.
It never happened and if you think you saw something your mistaken
Comrades,
Gird your loins
Tomorrow is not looking too good
bad timing.. with sexy Friday and all..
Let them gloat, this is their Stanley Cup.
Does 300 comments get us anything? Mind you after tonight I think we all need a realiity check
I miss Murray Wilson on CJAD. His reaction to this shitfest would have been.....interesting.
Where to from here? Washington next, Jesus.
That was horrible. Maybe the Habs will go on a 7-game win streak now? Either way, hope we meet the Booins in first round and take 'em out. !!! Go Habs Go !!!
Guys I can actually remember a game long ago, 1974, when Ken Dryden took his one year sabbatical to get his law degree. The Bruins beat Montreal 8-0 at the Forum with Bunny Laroque and Wayne Thomas in net. That was fucking embarrassing and so was tonight.
When does the next 5 year plan begin? Three more years until Gomez' contract runs out you say. Oy Vay....
After tonight, we all need an appointment with a psychiatrist. Well, I do anyways. I'd like some insight on what issues I have that would make me watch this game till the bitter end.
That does it, I'm pulling for the Laffs.
Chris Nilan is livid on CJAD. Taking out his teeth, swearing and comparing them to girls. "A disgrace to the organization".
Dear fellow Habiasts,
is it okay to cry a little now? Or should I just feel plain dirty?
Thank you for your advice,
A German Habs Fan
Ren calls it. He's even got a Toe Blake hat on.
Alles ist nicht verlorn, it was not the Leafs we lost to.
If your drunk its okay to cry, otherwise have that shower cause its nearly time to start drinking.
@GHF377 - I think your Ahole should be burning by now, that's how I feel anyway...
@29 - Never. Ever. EVER try a broons love fest again. Come to think of it, I (sort of) blame you...
I can't get a positive out of this; unless we see the end of CHocula and the 'the system'.
It's night like this where I wish I had a taste for whiskey.
Sleepy brings up a positive aspect to this game. The System could not beat the Buffalo System, and aside from making the Montreal power play look like the Boston power play it had no traction to nite. The system is gone like bell bottoms and tie died t shirts.
Thanks guys, fortunately I started drinking way into the 1st period so I just cry a little with clenched fists and teeth.
I recommended this game to my mom (who likes hockey) for days now, what am I supposed to tell her? She tried calling me twice already.
Depressed greetings for a far away country not big on hockey.
@GHF377 - Tell her this wasn't a 'real' game. It was just a scrimmage between two teams that are trying out different 'systems'.
@Hadulf, best explanation possible, it was a systems check.
I would not want to be Geoff Molson's Vagina on Friday, even sexy Friday.
Recchi back peddling on his bullshit comments were to "take the heat off Chara". I agree with Nilan's assessment: YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT, RECCHI.
Guys, please. We may be from a non-hockey country, but I could never sell that to her.
I guess I drink myself into oblivion and mute the phone. Maybe send her roses tomorrow. Anybody here knowing JM's credit card details? He should be paying.
And has anybody a positive line to sell the game against the Caps? A friend in Montreal suggested "Can't get any worse!", but I am not sure that's enough.
Bratwurst and Schnitzel to you all! (Just to fit the chliché)
Nonsense. There's plenty of hockey in Germany. Mike Glumac is there. Bulldogs sure could use his goals right now... (Then again he was rather useless without Desharnais).
I have TWO hamentashens left. Sigh.
#ghf377 against the Caps OVIE might hurt himself from celebrating so much, major schadenfreude potential.
Sure, plenty of hockey over here, but the pro league makes the peewees look like the real deal.
The few good ones head off to the NHL. Some even join the Ruins, so feel my pain.
Gute Nacht zusammen, hope you can sleep on this.
drinking scotch and vermouth and eating licorice to kill the pain but it isn't working.
maybe puking my guts out in the morning will make me feel better.
I'd like to see Gomez apologize for impersonating a hockey player.
@Steve
Enticing thought but I'd rather see our Habs win again instead of enjoying m Schadenfreude.
Plus it maybe despicable but I like Ovi - a kid pretending to be a grownup hockey player.
And I am off into tossing and turning on this.
This is a just nightmare right? It can't be possible that the Habs could have a 5 on 3 power play and allow a short-handed goal en route to a 7-0 shutout in a season defining game? No wonder Nilan's head is exploding. These guys need to refund some salary.
Already forgot about the game.
Dear Gomez, get the fuck off my team your useless piece of shit. We don't need you. Fuck off and go fuck Sarah Palin you fucking useless Alaskan piece of shit. Game over. Fuck off.
Tonight definitely sucked. But I can take one thing away from it that makes me very proud to be a Habs fan.
With time running out and the score clearly out of reach, our players didn't try to cheap shot, injure, or decapitate their opponent out of frustration.
Instead, like actual civilized human beings, they accepted their loss, understood defeat, and returned to their dressing room to fight another day.
That's the difference between us and a team of embarrassing jar heads that won't win a Stanley Cup, due to their primate limitations of not understanding what it means to EARN one.
Respect and actual love of the game is what separates us from teams like Boston.
I sleep well at night comforted by the fact that my team is less Milbury and all Beliveau.
I also sleep comfortably on a stack of 24 memorable Stanley Cups that have been EARNED by the most respected, admired and beloved hockey players in the history of the game.
In closing,
Eat my well-rested subconscious shit Boston.
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