Monday, March 21, 2011

What's up with all this Jekyll and Hyde stuff? Habs 8 - Wild 1

Dr. Gio and Mr. Gomer a.k.a. GG11 really is a friggin' GENIUS!! 

I know, I know, the big story is HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! THE HABS SCORED 8 GOALS! PFK GOT A HATTY! WHITE GOT A GORDIE HOWE HATTIE! CHICKEN HAS A PULSE!! WOO HOO, BABY, ÇA SENT LA COUPE CÂLICE!!

*smacks herself*

Forgive me if I act a little bit like a Debbie Downer this morning... I'm increasingly worried about the fact that the Habs' season is looking like one "en dents de scie" - that is, up and down.  Every time I think that they've kicked this habit, it comes roaring back.  One game they're flying, the next, they need to be relegated to the trash heap.  One day they're kicking ass, the next, they're getting their asses kicked. One night they're the windshield, the other night they're the bug.  One night they're the Louiville slugger...

... Okay, you get my drift.

I'm not smart enough/enough of a hockey analyst/delusional enough explain the Habs' Jekyll and Hyde routine.  I just see the pattern and it worries me because the one thing I do know is that inconsistent hockey kills teams in the playoffs.

That used to be my biggest gripe about Carey Price - his lack of consistency.  Funny that he became consistent (I don't count Friday night's performance as anything other than a sign that the kid needs to rest fer chrissakes) right at the same time many of his teammates began to falter in that regard.


Call me a consummate worrier (I am, thanks to my father who has elevated it to an art form), but the fact that, in a free-for-all game in which goals seemed to come at will, the (backup) goaltender had the same number of points as Gomer and Gio is cause for pause for me. 

I'm not blaming Gio for this.  I am looking squarely in another direction... Gomer has been the Acme Anvil around his linemates' neck for almost every single Habs game this season.  His points production-per-minute is laughable, his work ethic questionable.  Although what little I know about the guy leads me to think he's a good guy and well liked in the locker room, (unlike some of the Habs' previous Anvils), I think that the time has come for him to watch a few games from the pressbox.  

Yes, I know he's a pro athlete and should be able to figure it out on the ice. Yes, I agree, his speed and playmaking ability are amazing.  Yes, I know it's not his fault that he got offered a crazy contract. All of these things may be true, but, while he's searching for his game, far too frequently he's dragging his linemates, and sometimes even the team, down with him.  

I really hope that we get the Gomer we saw in the playoffs back in time for this year's run at the Cup.  That would be a Jekyll and Hyde story with which I could live - Dr. Jekyll eradicates his demons once and for all in time to save the day etc. etc. 

I'm not counting on it anymore, though.

But, in order to leave you on an appropriately happy note after a thoroughly enjoyable win, behold (from Squid's Twitter feed):

No, seriously - ain't he the cutest? I just wanna pinch his cheeks... 
This ebullient and nattily dressed young man, with a grin going from ear to friggin' ear is the future of the franchise peeps.  Fuck the antiquated haters who think that joyful exuberance and a cocky attitude have no place in pro sports. Your lineup for extinction starts to the left behind PJ Stock - I'd say Don Cherry, but he's too short to act as a point of directional reference.

Besides, it's clear that his teammates are always willing to cut him down to size:

Squid sez: "Boys didn't [sic - fucking iPhone autocorrect] Luke his tie though"
The future of the franchise is in good hands. I just hope that it doesn't get buried beneath a lack of consistency.

60 comments:

moeman said...

That was a nice consistent post lg&GG.

Steve said...

Well posted ladies (girls, womens). That picture looks like Robert Downey Jr to me, Gomer's on smack, and Gio's got a nuclear power source.

The Anchorage Anvil is fucking up the whole team. Squid, Lego and Tits are never going to come together, not that there is anything wrong with that kind of male bonding.

Although he did not play terrible against the wild, he hit the goalie in the mask, and completed a handful of passes to open Montreal players, lets hope he has been saving it all for the playoffs.

The great news is with the hatrick PFK can keep the vampires and Zombies out of his happy place for the rest of the season.

moeman said...

Nice goin' PFK!

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=556707

THIRD STAR – P.K. SUBBAN, D, MONTREAL CANADIENS

Subban topped NHL defensemen in scoring with six points (four goals, two assists), highlighted by a milestone performance at Minnesota, as the Canadiens (40-26-7) won twice in four starts and moved within one point of the first-place Boston Bruins in the Northeast Division. Subban recorded one assist in a 4-2 loss to the Washington Capitals Mar. 15, recorded one goal in a 6-3 loss to the New York Rangers Mar. 18 and finished the week with his first NHL hat trick plus an assist and a +3 rating in an 8-1 victory over the Minnesota Wild Mar. 20. Subban, 21, became the first rookie defenseman in Canadiens history to tally three goals in a game. He also is the first Montreal defenseman overall to tally a hat trick since Sheldon Souray in December 2003 and the first Montreal rookie overall since Oleg Petrov in December 1993.

Young HF29 said...

oh LG, you're the consummate worrier. just enjoy it!

fine work LGG!

Steve said...

@moeman who was the last rookie defense in the NHL to get hat trick, who was the last Hab, who was the last defenseman. I googled but no answers, my guesses, Phil Housley, Claude Lemiux, and Tyler Myers.

Steve said...

Squid must be last hat trick Hab

Steve said...

BREAKING NEWS, something that promises to eclipse the dressing room classic, Wilma or Betty.

VW =hankyl

soperman said...

I certainly respect your opinion LG, and by nature I am not a worrier, but I have a very different take on this team. (One of my Habs buddies at work refers to me as the phucking cheerleader, but he thought last night was a disaster because the score "should have been 15 - 0!)

Gomer was a loss leader. His contract was way too much for his moderate skill set, but debatably he started the signings in the "Summer of Upheaval". Forget his contract, they signed him for a completely different reason that than his on-ice talent.

The hardest thing for me, and apparently most people to accept is that both Chockula and the Goat are important to this team's success. As much as we hate Chockula's system, it has become engrained into the players psychie and we can now substitute just about any moderately skilled player into the lineup and have some success. It is amazing to hear the CBC/TSN bozos trying to explain why the rash of injuries has not knocked the Habs off their pins. And the Goat, well I can't say I have expected any of his moves but the guy seems to find players, eg Cheez Whiz, that we did not know we needed, but boy did we need. Who would have thought the Halak trade would have worked out?

In short these guys are playing up down hockey right now but there are plenty of factors which, if we think about them, should make the team be in the middle of a nose dive.

Plexxxe is injured and that does not bother me all that much, mind you I expect he will be back shortly. Cammy was out and I did not get my traditional "injury ulcer".

The Montreal Bulldogs, as you guys sometimes call them, are a pretty capable team. There is no goalie controversy and everyone in front of Price/Auld knows their role. Let them play and know that every win is like a dagger in the heart of Cherry/Cold/Suck/McSplooge/Pilsbury and all of the other Habhaters out there.

Hadulf said...

I swear, I just opened twitter.com for the first time...Looks like shit...

Bunch of unreadable threads. Maybe I need to sign up or something. You don't even get what Cammy's talking about most of the time...It must be (wv) kagic.

lawyergirl77 said...

O'man - totally agree with some of your points and am intrigued by your definition of Gomez as a "loss leader". I agree with you 100% in that regard.

My problem is that arguments like that are really just an ode to "competence" and not really building any kind of a standard of excellence that I desperately wish this team would strive towards.

I'm also having an epically shitty day and it's likely colouring my outlook on, well, everything.

Steve said...

@Soperman, I always thought GOAT was competent, and aside from the Rhino trade which was not clear cut, he has been a whiz. Also the mirror systems in Armpit and Montreal mean those coming up plug in perfect, such a case did not exist last year with Guy's forward motion game.

Chocula deserves his props, but I see him as having adapted to Chanibis after a showdown with the vets. He is handling the cubs way better now than a couple of months ago.

I am still planning the parade, Philly, is all that stands between Habs and cup final.

Anonymous said...

@Steve: This isn't Four Habs fans and steve, you don't have to comment after every single update someone makes. It's ok to miss a few in case you were wondering. Jeebus.

Steve said...

@anon, what a guy cant be bored?

moeman said...

Some said that Bob Gainey acquired loss-leader-Mex with the purpose in mind of getting Gio and Squid to join too.

the Maritimer said...

@LG77, I believe the organization is building towards something good, it just takes longer when you don't have Crosby's and Ovechkin's falling in your lap after years of epic failure. Also, hang in there kid, better days are ahead. Although retirement and being able to do what you want when you want is great it comes with a price. Like all these little aches and pains that come out of nowhere and the gray hair that I see every morning.

@Steve, keep posting buddy. Your comments make my day.

Lawyerboy77 said...

Listen, LG77, and listen well:

Your quote: "...I'm not smart enough..." is smack on. Who the eff do you think you are coming on this site and acting like you know all about hockey without any sound-proof analysis, rather, an intuition based on what you may see on the tube while your fat ass toggles between that and what your brain can really only handle...Glee.

Stop your whining. We are winning. In case you missed the final score last night because you were all caught up with your evil little fingers switching to another channel, we scored 8 goals. Or maybe you know but are so fucking hard to please and good winning and leading make for boring posts??

2nd in the Adams; 6th in the conference and 10th in the league.

Go back to your legal ass't job and get a bloody clue.

Steve said...

I thought the full moon was on Saturday, maybe all the werewolves have only changed back today.

@lawyerboy, if you were not illiterate you might have notice LG77 is one of the Four(ish) Habs Fans, and it is their excellent editorial content that readers come here for. so unless your the dude you dont walk into the house and pee on the carpet. And we all know who you really are MR. Bertrand Raymond. Now fuck off and take the other Anons with you.

Young HF29 said...

I'd like to meet lawyerboy now, cause when LG is done with him, he won't be the same. my goodness ppl are so angry these days

except Steve! never stop commenting steve.

Lawyerboy77 said...

Not normally the way I talk, but:

A. I think the characters here only get high by this kind of talk

B. Jesus, we're winning so her garbage was a little accessive

C. Very convinced she knows squat about hockey

D. Her schtick gets really old

Lawyerboy77 said...

Sitdown Habsfan29 and stuff it. No need to get threatening.

Young HF29 said...

people, the anger! i think it's time for group therapy

and really lawyerboy, attack LG all you wish, but to say she knows squat about hockey could not be more wrong if you tried

moeman said...

All tough behind a web connection. eesh.

Lawyerboy77 said...

@Steve...I know she's a player on the site. Duh. You missed my sarcasm. And no, I'm not the dude you mentioned and for saying that, you should apologize to him.
@Hf29... I do not believe she understands hockey, there's no way.

@LL77...go do the dishes...

The Maritimer said...

Yeah, lawyergirl, I agree with the rant. Write better posts next time cause I'm sick of the whining too.

lawyergirl77 said...

Sigh.

It really has been one of those days, in all parts of my life.

Not going to grace any of the personal attacks with a comment. Much as I would love to make a joke about how LB77/Anon's dick may finally be an outie instead of an innie after writing his screed(s), I'm bigger than that.

I stand by my analysis. Saying that there's nothing wrong with the team after a lopsided win against a defeated team with decidedly shitty goaltending is akin to burying one's head in the sand after a no-show in NYC. Yes, Friday night was the 3rd game in 4 nights, but the Habs have played through that before and, guess what, that's the NHL. Making excuses is the Leaf way, and it should never be the Habs way.

I hope this team proves me wrong, comes out strong and doesn't have another half-assed effort again this season. I was COMPLETELY wrong about Carey Price and I'm so happy to have been proven wrong.

Chocks and Goat are absolutely performing miracles with a depleted team. But I'm still not sure that they have the skills to perform miracles (i.e. win the Cup or, heck, even get past the Flyers) with a full team.

I sincerely hope that they prove me wrong. Nothing would make me happier.

Anonymous said...

I think she is right. And as well if you don't like what she say you should go visit other places. I am a woman too ( and Asian, do you have a problem with that?). I know some of hockey but not as education as other people, but still I think she's right to say that Gionta is starting to become like Gomez (my husband thinks too) and like you I think the Habs will not go far this year, they are too much like a yoyo. I like very much the drawing you make up there, don't listen to ugly men like that guy.

Le Douze said...

Earlier this afternoon I wrote a trenchant analysis of why both Soperman and LG77 have a point ... some kind of shit about how they play like a team, trust each other, don't go on big losing streaks ('cept at Christmas), yadda, yadda, yadda, but actually don't have enough serious star power to be really outstanding. It was complete with a position-by-position comparison with the Red Wings of two-three years back.

Anyway, fucking blogger ate that, which is probably just as well because who the fuck cares about what I think.

Anyway, LG77, keep on posting, I love it that someone here actually know something about hockey. Jebus knows, with all the strippers, meth, and ice cream, 29's likely to be on the IR any day now, and then we would be comletely fucked. Just try to remember to take some uppers first if you're hungover when the time for the game review comes up.

ti-cul said...

I'm really impress with our team yesterday, impress with PK, Ryan White (no nickname yet?). Really impress w/ GG artwork again & LG game review. I'm also impress how much of a fucking moron that LB fuckface is.

L Dude said...

Hey, there were some positives in there from lb77. LG77's garbage was a bit 'accessive' (i.e. easy to access). That's nice. The blind and deaf can read it too!
Anyway, let's move on shall we.

How about that Matt Cooke suspension with the 10 games and the playoffs! I know. But First Round = Full playoffs for the Pens.

How about that Brad Marchand (Fuck I hate that he's from my neck of the woods) saying how Cooke deserves what he got. "I hope to be suspended for a full season one day also.", Marchand said.

How about a win against Buffalo plus a Bruin loss against NJ, then a win against the B's puts the Habs up by 3 points in the Northeast.

I am enjoying watching this team this season more than I have in a very long time. No matter who gets injured, there's a fill-in or the Goat has made some very astute moves to get a fill-in.

I was initially hoping the Habs could eliminate the Leafs on the last game of the season. Now I just want them to fucking die so the english sports media will at least tone down the leaf coverage/love-ins. I know it won't end. But less is OK too.

I should get back to work. Or not. Evening shift. Pfft.

moeman said...

OV might not play Saturday.

Young HF29 said...

im with hot (I assume) asian woman anonymous

Cooke got 10 plus a round eh? good PR NHL.

L Dude said...

OK, I'll get back to work soon. It's monday so thought I'd check the rankings - I'm sure you'll post them in the morning skate, but:

TSN - Habs remain at #11
Bruins drop from 3rd to 5th, but here's the catch:
"...and a power play that is 1-for-29 (3.4%) in the last 12 games. It'll get better once Kaberle arrives. Umm, the trade deadline was 3 weeks ago. Still waiting for Kaberle to fix the powerplay eh? Interesting.

FWIW, LeBrun at ESPN has the Habs steady at 8th with the Pooh's dropping to 10th from 7th.

Tyler said...

I agree with everyone. It's the kind of stuff that gets us somewhere. I mean, why not?? It's always that way until you get a post that makes quasi sense. Arbitrary, I say! Great stuff as usual tho and can do without the other stuff...

Tara wants to say what hasn't been said...

I'm so jealous of your hot partner HF29. Wanna get my hands in his pants and squish.

Okay, back to hockey...

First time commentator/longtime reader:

LLGG rocks.

the Maritimer said...

Just to point out the Maritimer who posted at 5:20pm was not this Maritimer. Holy fuck, the full moon is bringing out all the weirdos.

Still, never been impersonated on the internet before. Is that cool?

Mr. natural said...

PHuck I love this place!

Lawyerboy and anon said are probably the same asshole.


@Steve PHuck 'em

@LG Phuck 'em again

Hey I personally have always thought that many contributors on this site get down on the Habs much too quickly here, including LG77, but shit that girl knows her hockey, listen to the next pantscast if you don't believe me (If there's ever another PHucken'one for CHristsakes).

She's the opposite of Mrs. n who worries about every little thing but has the cheeriest overall outlook on life you could ever have the pleasure of being around, while LG understands every detail of hockey and the Habs, but worries about their big picture.

It's a roller coaster for all teams, in the words of that great statesman Abraham Lincoln "We'll be PHucken'fine".

GHG!

PHuck the Trolls!

Wait 'till orangie SIC, that'll shut them both up.

Hey hey hey going to the game tomorrow and dining at 9-4-10 first.

How happy am I?

Steve said...

People get a life, I live comfortably in my parents basement. I have a good job as a fluffer. Now it is a gay porn site, and although I am straight, I never complain that the job is to hard, or to long, or to thick. I make a good living selling tapioca to five star restaurants, so why all the anger from people who take the time to fake ID to post on this site with only one purpose, to hurt the feelings of someone they dont even know. What satisfaction can anyone get out of hurting the feelings of someone they dont even know. I am a number one fluffer because I am straight. When an accident happens, I make tapico.

Steve said...

I forgot to mention all the Chapstick endorsements.

iRiRi said...

Sheesh. First of all, let me say that I greatly appreciate LG77 and the rest of the FHFs' snarky commentary and hockey knowledge, not to mention GG's sick photoshop work. It's nice to read something that doesn't analyze every single shot Carey faces from 5 different angles but still provides decent insight, different point of views and a few laughs. Along with all the great commentors, it definitely keeps me coming back. It ain't the stripper pics, that's for sure!

Also, if you don't like what you are reading on this fine blog, how about you, um, I dunno, try not reading it?

Lawyerboy77 said...

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, LG.

Bill 101 said...

Gracious me, never a dull moment around this joint.

Sorry to be banal, but I just thought it was great to finally watch a third period without a clenched asshole. ahem.

lehab said...

@bill 101... the clenched asshole was doing the play-by-play

Steve said...

@bill 102, I know you did not mean any harm, but Bree and I got this separation between us, and while she has her side, never met, Charlie has more money, higher concentration of tiger blood, I gotta believe its all about the anal. Be gentle is all I am saying.

Orangeman said...

I'm getting responses to posts I didn't even write (LG77 2:06)!

And yes, LB77, LG77's posts are "accessive" in that they are accessible. Unless you meant 'excessive' in which case I would direct you to your local middle school English class. I know that's a low blow, but I was hoping since you took my advice of adopting a name so we can identify you, I would now encourage you to proofread your posts so we can understand you better, too. The next step is anger management and religious sensitivity classes, but let's focus on differentiating between homophones for the time being (no, 'homophone' doesn't mean someone who speaks with a lisp, NTTAWWT).

It's just that if you're going to go to random blogs to personally attack strangers I feel as though you should really put your best foot forward. Go read some youtube comments. You don't want to look like those people, do you LB77? We're here to help. I'd hate to have you move onto another random blog sounding as you do here. What will those people think? That FHF made you that way? No, I will not stand for that. No troll of mine is going to be mispelling words all over the internet!

Steve said...

@29 hot Asian women, you have to be very careful, cause sooner or later your going to meet her mother. This can happen the first time, or maybe the tenth time, but you will be drinking, a mixture of things you can handle and things that make you invisible, and you will confuse mother and daughter, and wake up in a tiger cage.

ti-cul said...

@ Steve, very ironic of you to tell anyone "to get a life".

Steve said...

@ti-cul - even without string theory its possible to have more than one life. I take your observation without a hint of resignation, and will redouble my efforts to find one.

Steve said...

Do not feed the trolls, its like when a pyhist says, do not fire an energy weapon at that enemy it will just get larger and more powerful. Inevitably the Capitan fires away, my favorite example is the Fifth Element.

So Lawyerboy what twisted DNA gives you energy from flaming this site. I like this site, I like the bloggers and the commenter's and the shared but tough love of the Canadians. One day I will get a life I will move on, but for you there is no redemption. Okay maybe there is a chance, a few weeks ago someone 29 had saved commented, so hope the next one is you, otherwise why the fuck do you bother/

Le Douze said...

On to more important business: what to call the Svedish block? Palooshi Pasta is back with the 'Dogs and now we need a new knickname (assuming Enqvist hangs around for a few games). More importantly, do we have any more Scandinavian forwards in the system so we can get a good line moniker going with Lego and him? I know all the Finns are goaltenders or Formula 1 drivers, but maybe there's a token Norwegian who has learned to play hockey?

WV: I wish people would stop speaking "porli" of other people (unless the other people happen to be Booins fans or Philly Phucktards, then that's ok, I guess.)

Steve said...

Le Douze already have one for Enquest, its Scrabble. Between his first and last name, pure word salad, rumor is Sarah Palin wants him as her VP.

Steve said...

more accuracy SChrable

Steve said...

sCHrable

Le Douze said...

@steve - D'oh! I forgot about that one. I guess if JM plays him with Lego, it'll be the start of the Toys and Games line... though more likely sCHrabble will be playing with himself on the bench while the fourth line sits.

Number31 said...

Scrabble's back? Woo! Oh...that means either Halpern or Pleky must be hurt more than we thought. Fuck!

Haterz gonna hate. PK is the 3rd star of the week so in your senile fucking face, Don. That was so much fun to watch I think I'll watch it again. Fuck "protocol". Only YOU were rolling your eyes at PK's celebration, PJ.

Also I just want to say Andrei's goal was the best form of revenge for that run Clutterbuck took at him. And I love Clutterbuck but he's a fucking tool sometimes.

Go Montreal BullHabs Go!

Steve said...

Clutterbuck sometimes a tool, its like saying sometimes a Swiss Army knife can do more than whittle. Tits is like Brett Hull, that hits and mucks. He gets open, just give him the puck and let that Kalashnikov shot go.

moeman said...

Is the sick, little Bs fuck back by Thursday?

"Monday in Ottawa, former player Garry Galley told sports radio that “Matt Cooke needs psychiatric help.”
Boston Bruins rookie Brad Marchand, himself finishing a suspension for an illegal hit, said: “He’s got to be taught a lesson.”

Mr. natural said...

...and where are the comments on the Matt Cooke suspension? C'mon stir shit up dudes!

scorewatcher said...

go wings go! omg

Hadulf said...

Too bad the flightless birds got the SO win...

Man those wings were hot!

Number31 said...

I'd like to see Don Cherry call out Brad Marchand for his big mouth, disrespect towards veterans, and the average 1 slew foot per game. Oh right, he's a precious little bear. Fucktards.

(Funny thing is PK and Marchand are actually friends. Off ice.)