Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Habs just won't go away - Habs 4, Pens 3

"The Canadiens are the cockroaches in Gary Bettman's basement"

-Habsfan10, in a post-game email last night

While I am not sure the Habs could survive a nuclear blast like your average cockroach (well, maybe Gill could), this metaphor is apt. Apt, I tell you! Put on your tinfoil hats for a second, kids. Bettman wants no part of the Habs beating his beloved Sid. He wanted no part of the Habs beating his beloved international superduperstar. Well, fuck him. The Habs are scurrying around in his basement refusing to go away. Sure, when the lights get turned on they go running back to the shadows, but they're always there. They just won't be exterminated, and hopefully it's pissing Bettman off. Good. Let's take a look at some of the insects from last night:

The queen bee - Squid. Who remembers when he couldn't find his scoring touch after he came back from injury? Me neither. Two more last night, giving him 11 for the playoffs, the league leader. He's scored almost half the Habs goals in this series. Normally, that can be cause for concern, but not in this case. He can score 100% of our goals for all I care. And I just love his attitude after he scores. Tiny little fist pump, then quickly acknowledge the passer. It's like "yeah, I scored, that's what I'm supposed to do. Now let's get back to work."

The worker bees - Pleks and Big Tits supporting Squid. Pleks' work in the faceoff circle (16 of 21) was a huge key to the game. And Tits had two excellent passes to get assists on both Squid goals.

The worker ant - PK Fucking Subban. Jesus Fucking Christ he's getting better. He's getting more comfortable. Last night, he led all players with 29:11 of ice time. That included 4:32 on the PP and 5:37 on the PK. AND on the ice for the final minute as the Habs nursed that one goal lead. Defensive liability my ass. I saw him hound Sid down low for a good 15 seconds at one point, not giving him anywhere to go. He was +2 for the night. I'm imagining a Vodkov-Subban pairing next year tearing up the league, and it's making me moist.

Larvae in a cocoon - CHicken and Métro have not been heard from in a while. Maybe one of them will emerge a butterfly in Game 7. Alternatively, Little Tits could sit on the bench as well as either of them.

The pest you love to have on your own team - Mad Max. He still does some stupid things sometimes, but dammit he's playing the pest card well. And last night he added a highlight-reel goal. And besides being pest-y, he and his linemates (Dominitrix and Pyatt) just keep working and working. Third line heroics are always a playoff key. We're getting them.

The pest you want to crush with your foot, really squish him into the ground to make sure he never gets up - Sidney Crybaby. I don't give a fuck what Pens fan shows up around here and whines (like their hero) that "you're just jealous" or "Sid complains only because he is constantly taking abuse and not getting calls." STFU, Pens fan. Admit Sid is a whiny little bitch. Watch him yap at the refs at the end of every period. Watch him cross-check Pleks for no reason after the game is over. And then yap at Gorges, and then at the refs even more! That is not captain behaviour.

See you for Game 7. By the end, may the cockroaches be in Bettman's kitchen.


ezzeloharr said...

Oh my. Wonderful Photoshop. I'm too busy laughing to read the article. Getting there...

Oh lol.

ezzeloharr said...

The thought of a moist HF29 is not appealing. GG, please refuse to 'shop this.

B B said...

Could this finally be Lapierre's arrival? He's been pretty physical with the Commish's poster children.


lawyergirl77 said...

The photoshop killed me ded. Ded, I tell you!

Such an awesome recap!!

And mine is a tinfoil tuque. The pompom gives extra reception.

RiRi said...

"I'm imagining a Vodkov-Subban pairing next year tearing up the league, and it's making me moist."

I'm in stitches!

Well done, GG and 29!

lawyergirl77 said...

No joke - Sid whines at the refs or the linesmen after EVERY whistle if he was on the ice.

Take it like a man, you fucking pussy. Gretzky whined too, but at least he manned up when he needed to.

You? Not so much. The peach fuzz is a dead giveaway.

If this series helps kill the Sid fetish in certain parts of Canada, we have done our job, as far as I'm concerned.

Jaybird said...

Atits had some bad moments last night. A few egregious turnovers at key time but all is forgiven. And the Pyatt Moore line was absolutely incredible. They had some shifts were they resempbled a more than decent 1st or second unit.

Also I saw Metro have some great moments too...don't think he should be on the dog list.

I wouldn't mind seeing Sergei in for Pouliot or Darche for a game but that not gonna happen. Pouliot is the inconsisent player we knew we were trading for at this point. A few games ago he was hitting everything that moved and very strong on the rondelle and then the next match he is invisible. If only he told Muller pregame how he felt we could play him for those ones only.

WV: cater! The Habs are the ultimate anti-caterer to bettman at this point...lovin' every minute of it!

Jaybird said...

Egregious spelling errors in that one...

moeman said...

Too funny, 29 & GG!

Black Flag Bettman ain't gonna exterminate these Habs!

RiRi said...


lawyergirl77 said...


Good God, the man is totally hot. Teeny. But hot.


RiRi said...

@LG - Agree. Teeny but hot.

moeman said...

So size doesn't matter? Now you tell us.

lawyergirl77 said...

Moe - haven't the Habs proven this year that size doesn't matter provided you have the muscle/drive/heart to get the job done anyway?

Applies in all parts of life. Words to live by, frankly! ;)

RiRi - I also have a GIGANTIC mancrush on Gio. And Gill. So, apparently, I don't have a type aside from "hockey player". And hot. I can live with that...

moeman said...

I agree lg and I'm all of 5'8".

RiRi said...

@moe - Like LG said, it's not the size but what you can do with what you've got.

@LG - Ditto for Gio. Gill not so much. I do appreciate his shot-blocking and general octopusness. Mad Max (I know...) is slowly climbing back into my books. And Pleks too. Let's see... did I miss anyone?

L Dude said...

Sorry, have to bump this from the last thread. Too much work...er...cutting and pasting went into it. And I don't want anybody to miss a bit of Python.

Max is The French Taunter(FT) Just check out the face!

SS: Hello? ......Hello?!

FT: Hello? Who is it?

SS: It Is Sidney the Spoiled (SS) and these are my knights of the round arena, whose castle is this?

FT: This is the castle of my master, Du Club de hockey Canadien of lalamba!

SS: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by Bettman,
with a sacred quest. If you will let us win without trouble tonight, he can join us in our quest for the holy grail.

FT: Well, i'll ask him but i dont think he will be very keen!
Uh, he's already got 24 you see!

SS: WHAT!?! He says they already got 24!

SS: Are you sure he's got 24?

FT: Oh yes they are very nice! (whispering to teammates) uh i told them we already got 24! hehe
(snickers behind wall)

SS: Well, uh, can we come up and have a look?

FT: OF COURSE not! You are english Type!

SS: Well what are you then!?

FT: I'm french! Why do you think i have this outragious accent you silly penguin!

Sir Malkin: Vot are you doingk here?

FT: Mind your own buisness!

SS: If you will not show us the grail, we shall have to take your Bell Centre by force!

FT: You dont frighten us you English pig dogs!

FT: Go and boil your bottoms! Son of a silly person!

FT: I'll blow my nose at you, so called spoiled penguin! You and all your silly English cunnnnnnnnnigits!

FT: TTHPPBPBB!!(making fart nosies with tongue)

Sir Malkin: Vot a stvange pehrson.....

SS: Now look here my good man..

FT: I dont wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal foot
trough water! I'll fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of eldiberry!!!!

Matsy Cooke: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?

FT: NO! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

Now I have to watch the real thing:


RiRi said...

How could I forget? Big Sexy too!

soperman said...

I am too hyped to type! Man, my inner six year old is happy. Crysby probably lost a lot of fans - except here in Halifax.

WV porke - where to go with that one?

Sonia said...


Max will porke Crysby with a pointed stick.

(Again with Python. man these guys have a skit for everything!)

My WV: undone
(Too easy...)

Bill 101 said...



Can your body withstand the assault of 9 more Vlads?

..will settle for one.

LJ said...

Maybe PFK should give Spezza a lesson on containing crybaby...


Fuck you Bettman, you bought the yotes, not the pens.

wv Forse: Dear Habs, may the forse be with you.

RiRi said...

What if there were no hometown heroes?

lawyergirl77 said...

@RiRi - never been Max's biggest fan... But that video made me cry.

ezzeloharr said...

@RiRi: Does any other team, other than the Habs, get these? Other than the one Fleury one, I've only seen ones featuring the Habs.

RiRi said...

@ez - Yes, there are others up on youtube. I think it's cause we're only looking for Habs ones!

@LG - true. his play really frustrated me this season but he's picked it up in the playoffs. better late than never, non?

Kmaxx said...

You know, in past years other teams have always had one gvuy who mwas a real pain in the arse - someone you nwanted to punch - but who ultimately won it for the team he played on. A long time ago we had Claude Lemieux. This year we seem to have Mad Max Lapierre - I see this as a good omen...and he can keep scoring goals like that as long as he wants - thank you very much!


ezzeloharr said...

@RiRi: Thanks! Good to know we're not being abnormally favoured by the NHL.

So I lurked around The Pensblog for a while... Seems they also think the refs are sold against them. Do they just not know hockey? Or am I that biased?

BJG said...

Cool stat: The Pens have scored 9 goals with the man-advantage, 2 empty netters and just FIVE even-strength goals.

The Habs have scored 3 on the PP and eleven 5-on-5 goals.

11-6 at even-strength, over 6 games!

Impressive and promising, if we can stay out of the box (I know Good Fucking Luck with the way this series has been called. Still.

Mr Trivia said...


pens fans see cindy crying and figure that he must be right because he is an angel who plays hockey amongst men.

i bet they're also mad at pleks for retaliating after their superstar threw a tantrum after losing and whacked him.

you're not biased. you're sane.

Chester said...

I'm starting to tingle, is that a good thing ?

lawyergirl77 said...

I'm tingling. I believe. It's an amazing feeling.

But, then, the little voice inside my head says: "Uh, LG77, dude, this could all end tomorrow."

And then I take out an uzi and shoot the shit out of that little voice.

Never liked his pessimistic ass anyway.

swarkles said...

I don't think you'er that biased @ezzeloharr considering everyone here and even Don Cherry can agree that the refs are favoring the Pens.

soperman said...

@ Sonia

Crysby will like it if the vibrate feature is on.

Bill 101 said...


While doing the dishes,I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday re: Max/Lemieux - love 'em when ya got 'em!

More historical parallels?

Halak's been done to death. Performance is very 33 but attitude seems more 29

A small speedy forward who wore #12was a playoff hero in (maybe?) '73

cant come up with a Gill analogue though


Kmaxx said...

I just skimmed through Facebook and couldn't believe the crap the NHL link wrote about Cindy Crosby being about ready to put the Habs out of their misery. Bettman knows no shame. He is a disgrace and dishonours all that come before him. What a horrible LITTLE man. He has single handedly ruined the NHL. The Habs need to win in spite of him and when it comes time to present the cup - the entire team should move forward and scream - FUCK OFF YOU LITTLE NOBODY. YOU HATE HOCKEY AND WE HATE YOU. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOU OR HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY. FUCK OFF BACK TO THE NBA WHERE YOU BELONG.

Sorry for the rant but sometimes it gets to me!

Moey said...

Holy crap! Even Red Fisher is starting to defrost, nice article in the Gazette this morning.

That photoshop pic had me in fits this morning at work.

Ronan said...

WV: "bring"

Bring it home, boys. You know what I'm talking about.

LJ said...

Have you seen this!? Crosby is a crybaby bitch.. but at least he is better than this..

[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpt25J0h0kU"]fuckin asshole[/a].

LJ said...

My bad..

Fuckin Asshole


Not Geoff Molson said...

@ Bill 101
Gill = a stay-at-home defenceman who wore #5 in '86?

WV - let's get it done on "wednes"day and send Cindy and the fucking Yinzer flightless cult back to Bettman's basement

B B said...

I was informed today, at work, there are corollaries to "GYFH."

I was unaware of GFY___, as in Go F Yourself Gary Bettman, Sid Crosby, 1967, and so on.

So, to the Boston fans who last week openly wondered how the B's would fare against Pittsburgh (it has an "H" you illiterate cods), I offer GFYB. You aren't going to beat Philly.


moeman said...

... and we love this team because;

The team says it's not about to get caught up in the whole idea of how supposedly "unlikely" all this has been, because they don't want to get caught believing that themselves.

"It's reality," said forward Mike Cammalleri after Monday night's 4-3 win. "If you pinch yourself, you start staring around, and we can't stop now."

According to the team, they're winning in part because they're having fun and it's safe to say they're having fun because they're winning.

"I think it's probably one of the reasons that we're having success is the enjoyment factor, for sure," Cammalleri said Tuesday. "I think, in life, people end up doing things that they want to do and right now we're having a good time doing it. I think there's a sense of, 'Let's keep on doing this 'cause it's such a great time', so maybe that's one of the reasons we've had some success."

"Here we are, we get a chance (Wednesday) night to do something pretty special," said Cammalleri. "It's a great opportunity for us and we're really enjoying it.

Down 3-1 in their first-round series against the Caps with the odds heavily stacked against them, the Habs became accustomed to playing under pressure, needing to win every single game they played. That comfort level with must-win situations seems to have served them well throughout the 2010 playoffs - and they're hoping it will continue to do so.

"It's something that we've done quite frequently in the playoffs is be on the brink of elimination," said forward Brian Gionta on Tuesday. "The chance to knock off the defending Stanley Cup champions - it's a huge task but it's an honour to be able to do that, so we're looking forward to that."

"We played three elimination games in that series and we faced one last night, so we definitely have some experience already this season in these elimination-style games," added Cammalleri. "Let's hope it helps us for sure (Wednesday) night."


Bill 101 said...


of course. brilliant

moeman said...

For 29;

Rip this fucking joint.

HabsFan29 said...


You knew I'd like that, didn't you. Thx.

moeman said...

29, yup, knew that but also knew this would kick your ovenmitted ass into high gear. S(l)ick guitar work!

L Dude said...

Anybody remember after game 2, I posted:

Here's my vision: Game 7 in the 'Burgh. Triple OT. 12:01 AM, May 13th. PK Subban with a blast from the point scores the winner as he turns 21.

Maybe it'll be more of an end to end rush, making Bobby Orr's goal look like Timbit stuff.

Speaking of Orr's goal. You ever really look at it. The goal is long in the net before he takes off through the air. Yeah Noel Picard got a stick in his skate. But is this the original skydive or what!? GFY Bobby Orr!

orangeman said...

Heading into Game 7 of the NHL playoff series between Montreal and Pittsburgh, a reporter asked Maxim Lapierre "What's the key?"

"It's a little metal thing you use to open the door," the Montreal forward said.

I fall more and more in love with this team everyday.

Still can't let myself get too drawn in. Optimistically pessimistic. Now to get back to my coughing to set up my sick day tomorrow.

gillis said...

Riri, I guess I missed the post when you picked up the nickname "Big Sexy" for one of the habs, so I guess I missed the memo and I don't know who you are referring to. Anyways, my point is that I was really, really, really bored and was clicking away on the get-to-know-your-habs thing on the website and I landed on one that asked "If you could change your name, what would you change it to?" Ryan O'Byrne answered "Big Sexy"

RiRi said...

@gillis - really? cool! Actually I had heard on the Team 990 that Gorges had given him that nickname. That's where I got it from.

Number31 said...

So now there are 4 things that might survive nukes: roaches, twinkies, twizzlers, and the Habs.

GYFH! Nuke it good!

b said...

I coach little kids. Little kids look up to heroes. If their heroes show them how to misbehave, those little kids could grow up badly. Sidney Crosby needs to be fined for cross checking Pleks after the buzzer. Pure and simple. For the good of the game. And every goalie that breaks a goal stick over the pipe should pay a stiff one, too.

Harrumph! The righteous will win!
Mr. Bettman, Esq. go back where you came from.