Saturday, May 08, 2010

Whoever Makes More "History Will be Made" Videos Will Win Tonight: Habs-Pens Game 5 Preview and Open Thread

We're gonna need some more of this, Cammy

It's the Battle of the rivers: Three Rivers vs. St-Laurent. By name, you would think it's a mismatch because poor little St-Laurent has to take on 3 rivers, which is really unfair.

From the looks of the picture above, Montreal's introduction into MLS in 2012 could not come at a better time. Cammalleri already has a name that could well precede "GOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!! CAMMALLLLLLLERRRRRI GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAL!!!!!"

But it's going to take more than River fights and soccer (but football)/hockey goals. It's going to take a better second period. I don't know, maybe it doesn't...The Habs have taken 3 shots in 5 second periods during these playoffs. They've won 4 of those games. Expect Montreal to play the typical road game which means that 3 shots in a period may even be a generous standard.

Markov has made the trip. Which of course means that he just enjoys Air Canada dinners. "I love the food. I love the foil packaging, makes me feel like I can take my time to eat and the food will always be warm. I love the little TV on the back of the chair. This is cool. I want to install TVs on the back of our pillows at home. I love the little movies about the city you gonna visit. This really prepares me for my visit. That's why I make the trip."

Game 5. It sets up Game 6, the game where a team is necessarily trying to stave off elimination. It's going to be a furious battle and expect Pittsburgh to roar through this one because they know how trapped they could be down 3-2 in Game 6 on the road with a hot goaltender in their way.

Now it's time.

When: 7 p.m. EST

Where: Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh.

Gino Crosby attack coming soon? Jaro be warned, these boys have been under the radar for too long in this series.

Andrei K attack coming soon? No.

More footie in you Cammy? Better not be intentional footie cause the refs will waive that shit off.

More bear hugging moves to pull down our young phenom at his blue line to ride in clear for a breakaway goal you cataract fucking poster child refs??!!!?!?!?!? Cue Friday the 13th music. Chi chi chi chi, che che che che......

Adult entertainment: S&M with your partner involving steel (God no, not Penguins).

What does it take for a win tonight folks. Kindly respond by leaving a comment and we'll comment right back.

122 comments:

Baroque said...

Hoping for a great game and a Canadiens win. And you really do need a penguins tag: I'd suggest "Lack of external genitalia is a Penguin characteristic" but that seems pretty long for a tag.

gillis said...

I'm just glad the ticket prices for the impact won't be going up for section 114

HabsFan29 said...

I love the foil packaging too! And the way the vegetables and potatoes are covered in whatever sauce the mystery meat has. and that roll in the cellophane package. always fresh.

GYFH

boob gainey said...

Meals on Air Canada North American flights?

What is this the 90's?

Darksyde said...

(Insert wise, poignant, and witty Habs quip HERE)
Aw, Fuck it...

GO YOU FUCKING HABS, GO!!!!

(wv)beriddan- What the Pens are gonna do to their coach after he has an anyurism (sp?) once they lose to the Habs in...(not gonna say it, don't wanna jinx it). Beriddan Bylsma.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Stewardess: I'm sorry Mr. Markov but we only have a kosher meal left. It's chicken and knishes with a pareve chocolate cake, coffee and non-dairy creamer.

AM: What is non-dairy creamer?

Stewardess: It's like magic. It can be a hot dog or ice cream or even hair gel! Just wow.

AM: CAMMALLERI!!!

from the back of the plane
AK: SERGEI! More wodka!... Sergei? Sergei?

moeman said...

Speaking of tasty in-flight meals, Porter has really pretty flight attendants.

swarkles said...

I've to comment on this post because I commented last time and the Habs won and I'm superstitious. I'm also working tonight so I won't get to watch.

I also caved and created an account so I'll be going by swarkles (HIMYM reference if anyone cares)

-Habsss

GHG

swarkles said...

I've got* to

moeman said...

swarkles, not to worry tyops are OK here at FHF.

~~~

Looks like Guerin is in.

ezzeloharr said...

@moe: The geezer is playing? Not good.

Watching the game on the teevee tonight is going to pale in comparison to being at the Phone Booth last game...

GO HABS PANTS!

Tyg said...

I said it before and I'll say it again.

Fuck you Bill Guerin, and fuck the Pens.

GO HABS GO YOU PANTS!

Terry said...

As long as we kill off the inevitable B.S. penalties and expect to not get calls our way,we'll win 5-3 ;)
P.S. fu*k you Bettman! I know what ur up 2!

Jaybird said...

VAS-Y LES FUCKHING PANTS HABS LA! ESTI ALEUR ALOOOOO!!!!!


Pants
Go Habs.
Habs.
Pants.
Go.

WV: berasms

Number31 said...

Pleky's all business. What a death stare. Remember when he used to smoke a couple past Fleury from the circles? Methinks he's due.

GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO!!!

Jaybird said...

Will Ferrell pitching at a minor league game...pretty funny stuff:

Short Version


Long Version

kevincrumbs said...

WTF kind of virus does Jaro 2.0 have? Is it Ebola? Did they secretly ship him off to a lab somewhere to have him analyzed and then sealed up for the scientists of the future?

GO HABS GO!

soperman said...

Go Habs! Lets hope Fluery can't stop a soccer ball again tonight.

Shermy said...

High hopes for a hat trick from Squid tonight.

Or maybe fellow crypto-half-Italian (and crypto-ex-Penguin-made-redundant-by-Jordan-Staal) Dominic Moore.

Or maybe this guy:

Officially licensed PFK logo

¡VIVA LOS PANTALONES!

Tyg said...

And our zebras for tonight are:

Kelly Sutherland, Stephen Walkom

Tell me, are these 2 as blind as the last 2?

Number31 said...

@kevincrumbs
I heard that apparently Spacek has labyrinthitis. If it's true, he's in trouble (though these guys have access to miracle doctors so maybe he'll be lucky).

I had labyrinthitis. My mom had it too but she doesn't have my migraine problems so is lucky that it stayed pretty dormant for a while now.. It's horrible. It never really goes away, it only quiets and can come back any time. Mine is triggered mostly by allergies or changes in air pressure (and when it gets hellfire humid, like when I went to DC, I can't even stand). It feels like you're trapped in that Jamiroquai video...the one where he's standing still and the whole room is moving/shifting around.

HabsFan4 said...

I'm mixing my bloody caesar with ativan tonight.

Moey said...

Could be time for another roadtrip for GG and I. Mellon Arena? We'll show them melons. Not sure about Sid,but it might work on Guerin.

moeman said...

What's the frequency, bettman?

Rapid Eye Movement

"What's the frequency, bettman?" you're on Benzedrine, uh-huh
Refs are brain-dead, fucked up, numb, not up to speed
I thought I'd pegged you in an idiot's dream
Tunnel vision is the playoff goalie crease screen
I never understood the penalty frequency, uh-huh
You whore our expectations like an 5 cent prostitute, uh-huh

I've studied Habs blogs, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Rocket Richard said, "Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy"

A smell of shit bias, cbc montage showed us the truth
I say the irony is the unshackling of Sid's Habs' lovin' youth
You wear a striped shirt, you're a mistake machine, uh-huh
I never understood the Pensblog hate frequency, uh-huh

"What's the frequency, bettman?" here's some Methamphetamine, uh-huh
Halak butterfly decal, rear-view Mario, doggy-stylin' the scene
You looked like a cartoon, at the Montreal Phone Booth
You're NBAing of our game proves you are uncouth

You wear no Pants! King Gary you are smalldicked-obscene, uh-huh
You'll never understand the Habs love frequency, uh-huh
Here's a yellow card to go along with your shitstained suit, uh-huh

I can understand
That history is being made in Bleu, Blanc et Rouge, uh-huh
I can understand
Wear my Habs shirt without my fucking Pants!, uh-huh
I can understand
You'll never understand, don't fuck with WE, uh-huh

♥ Go You Fucking Habs! ♥

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'm mixing my bloody caesar with ativan tonight.

Labyrinthitis is an inflammation of the inner ear.[1] It derives its name from the labyrinths that house the vestibular system (which sense changes in head position). Labyrinthitis can cause balance disorders and can be mimicked by drinking bloody ceasar with Ativan.


@Moey
Meet you at duty-free

Moey said...

GG,

You'll have to do the updates for FHF, I have to stick to my rituals. I hope yelling out the Brook's speech topless from the stands doesn't jinx anything.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Ready to go. I don't think you're going to have to yell though. That place is quieter than my house.

kevincrumbs said...

@Number31 & GG: Thanks for the update. I must've missed something as I hadn't seen anything on him for ages.

moeman said...

Note fellow and feline FHFriends that GG did not type "That place is quieter than my blouse."

~~~

WV = femar, as in hope Cooke doesn't breaks a Hab femar tonight.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@blouse
Correct. My blouse is rockin'.

GoldenGirl11 said...

*that would be @Moe, I'm very nervous.

moeman said...

I ♥ GG.

~~~

WV = pingu (I sidkid you not)

J.T. said...

I hope Crosby's crying cold, salty Penguin tears when this is over. Maybe if he does, the Blue Fairy will appear and turn him into a real boy.

wv: I hope Gill doesn't take any more BS penalties whenever there's a skirmlva in Jaro's crease tonight.

Moey said...

GG & I are a bit tipsy. We knocked back a couple of double Vodkov's on the flight to calm the nerves. We're off to flash the scalpers so we get a better price, we need seats right behind the Pen's bench.

kevincrumbs said...

Realised yesterday that this is the highest amount of wins I've seen in a playoff year by the Habs since I started supporting them. That, my friends, is really depressing.

wv: subids. PK Subids a good player.

HabsFan29 said...

rockin' moe as always

OK kids im doing the whole "skip the first period" thing like it worked for Game 5 in DC. Catch ya later after i have my Ativan and bloody caesars

Good luck Moey and GG!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Hey! It's pacifier night at the igloo!!

lehab said...

another fucking awesome job moe!!! Go you fucking HABS! PANTS

lehab said...

crybaby would be a better word to decribe him Ron

lehab said...

and if we could use 2 words, whiny bitch,... obv

Moey said...

That crybaby needs breastfed to shut him up. We're tossing a coin.
I'm calling heads.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
He's all yours. Never did the breatfeeding thing with my own kids. I only liked them as friends.

Moey said...

Crap GG, I was hoping you were the experienced one. I don't have any kids. We need a plan B. Any ideas?

J.T. said...

@GG11: Okay, okay...I'll do it. But I'll need wodka first.

RiRi said...

Drop the fucking puck already. I'm freaking out for tonight.

Unfortunately, I'll be staying far away from the comments during the game cause that seemed to work for Game 4.

This needs to be the last game EVER at Mellon Arena.

Ugh. Crybaby interview on CBC. His whiny little bitch face gives me the dry heaves. This is a far cry from the Olympics when I developed a mild crush on him. Glad I came to my senses.

Go You Fucking Habs Go!!!

Go PFK Go!!!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Ok Moey, JT is in. I'll pour the wodka, you bring the cabbage. Until the little ass hole latches on JT is going to need some relief. Cold cabbage is the best.

Moey said...

There wouldn't be enough Vodkov on the planet to breastfeed Ovie. Eeeewww. Okay, gotta get back to my seat.

J.T. said...

GG, teabags work too, but with those chompers, it won't really matter. You guys owe me. Double if Malkin wants some too.

wv: Anything to appesse the hockey gods.

Kmaxx said...

Ok Boys...Here we go! Go You Fuckin Pants Habs Go!!!!

emetique said...

Laraque? Where are you?

offspace said...

You fucking go pants!!

Huzzah said...

FLEURY DONT MAKE THOSE SAVES...

kevincrumbs said...

Oh Squid, if only you could start burying those chances again.

kevincrumbs said...

Orpik, STFU.

orangeman said...

Are we still acting surprised when the Habs get a penalty for playing D?

kevincrumbs said...

Fuck off, Pittsburgh

kevincrumbs said...

Horrible since the goal and not surprised they scored. Spent most of the period hemmed in in our own zone. Lack of clear cut shots on goal, even when it looked like we would have a scoring opportunity.

Orangeman said...

Crosby at the refs complaining while everyone else is heading off.

Orangeman said...

Terrible period. Passive passing, not playing very hard. Hopefully they turn it on in the 2nd.

CivilizedWorm said...

Is it just me or are all the Pittsburgh players fucking ugly?

I mean seriously.

Kennedy: Ugly ass monkey face
Malkin: Horseface
Crosby: Gorilla Mask (prank where pubes are glued to one's face)
Stall: Big ass ears.

Is being foogly a requirement for dressing up as a Penguin or what?

Anonymous said...

Not a terrible period. Quite solid, actually. Fleury had to make 2 or 3 top grade saves, or they'd be trailing.

I'd give the habs a slight edge - they just need to finish off those chances.

Orangeman said...

Cherry defending Habs again? I have to stop mixing my medications.

kevincrumbs said...

Unfortunately, Fleury looks good tonight.

kevincrumbs said...

WTF, why is there a woman knitting behind the Pens bench? Why not just stay at home?

HabsFan29 said...

ok i'm home bitCHes!!! habs will turn it around now. or something.

Massive Tits said...

@kevin
The Pens pay her to make rags for Sidney to wipe his tears.

HabsFan29 said...

well i stand corrected. it's worse

Orangeman said...

Fuck.

ezzeloharr said...

This does not look good for Homestar Runner.

kevincrumbs said...

Come on, just get one before the period's over, lads.

HabsFan29 said...

i dont like the way this is going

Anonymous said...

Habs are tit-for-tit so far. It's very even. Only difference is the pens are burying their chances.

Game not over. Far from it.

kevincrumbs said...

@Anon: If they don't kill this off, the game will be over.

HabsFan29 said...

good kill. cmon boys

Orangeman said...

Much better period, especially the first half. Need to bury their chances, though. So many very close calls. I still think they look a bit passive out there, though.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Why does RDS interview opposing team's French guys? Does anybody - even the francophones - want to hear from the other team and listen to how happy they are? Makes me change the channel.

Baruch said...

We cannot maintain possession in their zone, too nervous, too tight. It's going to be a tough 3rd. pouliot just standing around afraid to get in front of the net.
Come on Plex!!! Come on Pie!! Come on Matrix!!! More menace Lappy, Moenman! Go Habs Go!!

HabsFan29 said...

ok cmon guys get a quick one. no quit

Orangeman said...

Ok, boys, let's have a 3rd like last time. PLEASE!

HabsFan29 said...

best save of the game and bob cole falls asleep

kevincrumbs said...

Terrible giveaway... was that the Urologist?

Orangeman said...

Gee Cole, don't be too depressed about that save. Christ.

kevincrumbs said...

Oh great, Gill gets cut by Kunitz's skate.

kevincrumbs said...

I don't think we're going to beat Fleury tonight.

Number31 said...

D'oh

kevincrumbs said...

And PFK...

HabsFan29 said...

god that penalty i hate it so much

Orangeman said...

Gill's out?

Well, that was a fun series.

Shit.

HabsFan29 said...

theyre trying to take out or D one at a time

Number31 said...

It's still very quiet in there..... So much for "rockin' the Igloo"

kevincrumbs said...

Pleks or Squid needs to step up and score.

HabsFan29 said...

we're never gonna score

Number31 said...

LEARN TO AIM!!!

Orangeman said...

When Habs win, it's just because of Halak. I'm going to guess after tonight it'll read total domination by the Pens.

Bill 101 said...

I think the ex left some ativan behind my shaving cream.. back in a sec

kevincrumbs said...

Has Gill been seen since he limped off?

Bill 101 said...

"day-to-day"

Number31 said...

If I keep yelling SHUTOUT will they start scoring?

kevincrumbs said...

Sadly, traffic to the net only occurs after Fleury has the puck firmly in his mitt.

Bill 101 said...

nice suit too

Orangeman said...

Maybe we want retarded reffing. Maybe that fires them up more.

kevincrumbs said...

Hey, hey, a PP!

HabsFan29 said...

PFK is trying his heart out

Number31 said...

Hissss Bergeron hisssssssssssssssss

Thank GOD Subban was there to save that.

OK Muller Time.

Bill 101 said...

pk pk pk pk pk

mantra

Orangeman said...

No shutout!!!

Let me have this.

HabsFan29 said...

auughhh. we had a chance

Orangeman said...

Crosby can't even score on an empty net.

Number31 said...

So close. And lol Crosby can't even get the empty netter.

Orangeman said...

Close, but waaaaaaaaaay too little waaaaaaaaaaay too late.

But very, very close.

Bill 101 said...

could be worse

Have a Happy 45 hours everyone!!!

Orangeman said...

Maclean: "We've got Crosby standing by"

Cherry: "Is there no one else on that team that can speak English?"

God help me, I'm starting to like Don.

RiRi said...

Bummer. We'll get them next time. I'll be back to commenting full time on Monday.

The best part was PFK throwing that whiny little bitch to the floor.

Tyg said...

Honest to God, it's nice to see Crosbaby whiff on an empty net. I hope someone does it up as a History Will Be Made video. If I knew how to do it I would. Kudos to PFK for tossing him down like the pussified bitch he is.

A fan on the Habs board was at the game and spoke to Spacek directly. He's playing Monday.

Pens can't beat us without a PP it seems. Lucky for them the Zebras also wear black and white. How cute.

Oh yeah, fuck you Marc Andre Fleury. Shut that out you fucktard.

wv - boozesse. LMAO! You're kidding right? Where to start?

RiRi said...

I meant ice, obviously.

swarkles said...

Just got home, what'd I miss?

Number31 said...

CH75: You sunk my battleship.

Seriously. These guys are going to have to start wearing better socks.

Number31 said...

omg omg omg 5 unaswered goals by the Bulldogs (well, two were empty netters) in the 3rd. Suck it Goonsquad Abbotsford Heat. One more game to knock out those fuckers. DO IT!

HabScot said...

Fuck, could have had them there. 3-2 down, back in our house, favoured team expected to win. I think I heard this one before.

Get the fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Glad the Sharks won after their years of heartbreak. If we don't win it all, I hope they do.

Habs should take heart in a 2-1 loss despite long stretches of being unable to get the puck out of their zone. Fleury was good tonight and they should know that he won't remain this good all the way through. Hope Gill comes back soon and hope Jaro 2.0 comes back soon also.

Go Habs Go.

Number31 said...

It...was snowing again this morning. Can Hell freeze over twice?

moeman said...

Happy Mother's Day Moms

WV = moses