Saturday, May 01, 2010

Oh Noes! Pens 6, Habs 3

How many ways can you spell disaster? OK, maybe that's overstating things a bit. I could really have lived with a lethargic Game 1 loss. No big deal. Habs were fucking exhausted after their epic comeback and the Pens had been sitting on their asses getting healthy and rested. For the last time (until tomorrow), Fuck the NHL and its schedule makers. But whatevs, it is what it is.

But losing Markov is another matter.

I'm not saying the Cooke hit was dirty (unlike the last Cooke on Markov hit). Though both Versus and CBC seemed to say it was clean before they even looked at it, which annoyed me to no end. The hands were a little high, but otherwise it was pretty clean. But this is fucking Matt Cooke. He's getting no benefit of any doubt, except from CBC fuckheads. But if Markov is out for the series (we may get an update later today), well, ugh.

I am in no mood for actually reviewing this game. But since you expect something for your money, here's some quickie thoughts:

The good - PK Fucking Subban. Forced to play major minutes in Vodkov's absence. Didn't look out place and got his first goal. Gio's and Gomez' feistiness. Dominitrix and Mad Max' (!) work ethic. We outshot them.

The bad - PFK and the Urologist playing together 5 on 5. Oh Jacques, what were you thinking? The PK, and the indiscipline that got those penalties. A probably very tired Jaro.

The ugly - Andrei Saggy Tits. WTF is wrong with you? You tease us with a hat trick in these playoffs then disappear. No wait, you didn't disappear last night. Last night you just decided to shove your head up your own ass and play. The CBC "talent" and their fucking idiocy that's too long a list to mention.

We'll just leave you with this little ditty penned by GoldenGirl11 late last night when she couldn't sleep:

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now we're stuck with the Urologist and PK
Markov's lower body we hope is day to day

Suddenly, Jaro's half the man he used to be
He's just human with a crappy D
Oh yesterday before a good PP

Why, Cooke, had to show
I don't know, he has to pay
We, saw, something wrong
Now we long for yesterday...


Number31 said...

Luckily they've had so much practice in how to play without Markov.

Unfortunately Spacek can't stand up right now either. And playing MAB on D means: we'll get scored on a lot.

Tyg said...

Yeah, the Matt Cooke hit was clean, but that's an exception, not a rule for this guy, so fuck him. I don't give a shit if it was clean or not, Gomer had the right idea trying to light him up.

Subban can keep up with the little snot nosed brat, even with his momentum shifts and fancy footwork, so I'm hoping he'll run the little shit into the boards every chance he gets. Someone has to.

Too many passengers last night. No sign of the speed and urgency we saw vs. the Caps, and yet all the Habs interviewed are saying they're not fatigued. So the day and a half (fuck you NBC) they get off shouldn't really make a huge difference before Sunday, I guess, since they don't need it.

As for Jaro, if the D can't step up after Markov's inglorious exit (fuck you Matt Cooke), then the Habs will be out in 4. Jaro played well against Washington, yes, but it was just as much a team effort, despite what the commentators would have you believe, and last night he visibly lacked support. For crissakes we need Spacek back, because MAB may as well be playing for the Pens.

Can we just trade AK or what? Surely his brother can do no worse?
I read somewhere that Muller cannot defend against an umbrella style PP of the Pens - is that true? If so, we're done. And someone please grab JM by his dumbo ears and give him a shake - really really hard.

b said...

The legal question about whether Matt Cooke, a guy Don Cherry says is dirty, and that says it all, hit Markov "cleanly" is this.
Was Markov in possession of the puck? A clean hit is not a hit where the other guy sees you coming. The hit was clearly after the puck had left Markov's stick. Markov had enough time to get ready, so Cooke had enough time to know the puck was gone. It looks like there was a lot of hang time on the pass, but the ref had his back to the hit. I have seen our guys, our D, get called for interference on similar plays when they were dump ins and the dumped the dumper. A shit head like Cooke will get clobbered eventually. As for the lousy officiating, to think I used to dislke Kerry Fraser-

orangeman said...

The hit was clean PERIOD (.) It sucks, but complaining about it takes away from our legit complaints. For example, the league, Genreal Electric and space aliens are against us.

Being in Asia I usually get my legal, tooooootally legal, internet feeds from American sources and this is the first time in a long while I've been witness to CBC. Allah, it's bad. TSN might piss me off but at least they're competent. Cole sounds lost out there. And when Don motherfucking Cherry is defending your team you know it's bad. It's embrrassing as a Canadian, nevermind a Habs fan.

Anyway, just game 1. I predicted both teams winning their two first home games given the schedule.


WV: the CBC is full of 'prixes'. Heh.

orangeman said...

Totally missed that song parody at the end there. Since GG11 is so intrigued by Korean culture I will say that Koreans love "Yesterday". It helps me teach the English language, as well as melon collie and regret. As a Montrealer who ended up in Asia it's not a hard lesson.

Number31 said...

Why so serious?

Trying to get tickets.........

boob gainey said...

It was a late hit, of borderline legality.

Targeting the other team's star players is the sort of thing the Bruins used to do against us all the time in the playoffs.

It might be "legal" but it's shabby.

HabsFan29 said...

now up to 15 minutes in the waiting room...

GoldenGirl11 said...

Love the Beatles HATE the song Yesterday. Pure sap.

More importantly, who let the guy behind Markov in the pic out of the house wearing a Daniel Boone hat and yellow sun glasses? Geez. Don't they sell mirrors in Pittsburgh?

Yves said...

I felt like throwing my TV clear out my window after seeing Markov go down. But then... oh never mind.

I was satisfied with MA Bergeron's playing and playing time in the last 2 games of the capitals series.

About 5 minutes and 4 minutes. Put him where he can fire the puck... and best case scenario he'll score or injure a few guys with that shot.

I'm hoping PK gets some good playing time. Man... the guy can skate.. handle the puck... he's solid... everytime he takes off from behind the Habs net with the puck I'm convinced he'll get a shot on goal by zig zagging through traffic.....

Even Don Cherry loves him. And I don't think I've ever seen the words "Don Cherry" and "Love" in the same sentence too often. Unless it's Bruins or Leafs talk.

gillis said...

The face of the guy with the black and gold afro in the picture is priceless

Number31 said...

Ugh. I got in to get tickets and they were all sold out except for split seats in random spots. I hate that waiting room thing. Guess I'm staying home this series.

Apparently PFK Poulet Frit Kentuckied Staal and lacerated his tendon when Staal ran into him from behind. We know all about that!

habsss said...

Turns out I'm going to be missing both Sunday's and Tuesday's games so hopefully by Thursday they will have improved a bit. Though if they are still in the series, I'll miss Saturdays game goddamn work schedule.

orangeman said...

1) The hit wasn't wonderful, granted. The fact that Cooke was still standing and not decapitated by the end of the game bothered me.

2) Stall out, too. Karma, bitches.

3) "Yesterday" along with "Imagine" and "Piano Man" are epic karaoke closers.

4) This is a playoff team. Gio, the Mexican, Squid, Gill, Georges, Halak (he'll rebound).

5) PK= The New Franchise Saviour (TNFStm)?

Tyg said...

1) I'm of the same opinion. Why is one of the littlest guys on the team the only one willing to drop the gloves?

2) Right? Suck it up, folks. Isn't that what you were yelling at Markov while he lay writhing on the ice? Back at ya.

3) I hate the Beatles and all their songs. Yes, I blaspheme. That said, it's a good rip by GG.

4) They've shown a lot of heart, grit and determination thus far, and most of these even last night continued to do so. No reason to think they won't step it up again.

5) Last time someone got called that he turned into a Phat Wale, didn't he?

moeman said...

The look on cooke's face says it all. Mission accomplished.

The look on the ugly Pens fans says even more. With all due respect to her mad skillz, I doubt our own GG could top reality with some photoCHopping.

PFK is smoov.

GG's parody is smoover.

SergioLeone29 spun a good yarn in that post.

Fuck cbc/hnic (but kudos to cherry for pointing out the iDesk's MORONic Habs slags). Fucking CotU CHeapshot artists.

Get well Vodkov.

Go Pants!

Go you fucking Habs!

moeman said...

A guy walks into the bar and sits down. Bartender says "what can i get you?" The guy says "an Ovechkin" the bartender says "an Ovechkin? What's that?" The guy says " a White Russian, no ice no cup".

GoldenGirl11 said...

Just came to me as I missed that elated feeling from Thursday. I turn the song writing back to you.

I have faith that this team will get back on track.

B B said...

Playing so poorly and still having a chance at the end, some glimmer of hope. TFS, and Jaro, will save us this round.

My milk carton's missing this AM featured the 746 Brothers. Might explain why the milk sucked, too.

Bill 101 said...

Noticing the hangover, my daughter pounced: "Dad you really shouldn't let hockey harsh your mellow. Can I have twenty bucks?"


No game. Anybody up for a round of Snakes & Ladders?

Anthony said...

I'm just hoping that the pk in pk subban stands for penguins killer on Sunday.

gillis said...

P.K. Subban = Pants Klan Subban

gillis said...

Maybe "Pants King" is better

Oleg Petrov said...

Rain on parade alert -

Not to be all politically correct or anything, but...I was all on board with the PFK nickname at first, but what with those blackface doofuses at the Bell Centre, do we really want to stick with nicknaming TNFS after a fried chicken joint? This came to me today, and I had an attack of the uh-ohs. This could get 29 banned from Daybreak (horrors).

Oleg Petrov said...

...and we'll make that a ditto for any suggestions involving the "K" standing for "Klan" (see 3 posts back). I could be going out on a limb on that one.

RiRi said...

@Oleg - I thought about that. Fuck it. We've got bigger fish to fry. As in coming up with a way to clone Markov. Sigh.

RiRi said...

And while we're at it, let's clone PFK, just in case.
You can never be too safe.

*knocks on wood*

wv; simen

gillis said...

@Oleg: It just thought of it cause it rhymed with pants and subban and had the same sound. I regretted posting it right after so I did my best to try to find a new thing that actually started with K.

Completely not intentional and sorry if I accidentally offended anyone

orangeman said...

I didn't realize what the PFK meant, I thought the F was just thrown in for 'Fucking'.

Now I want fried chicken.

Obsidianrock said...

just wanted to say that the "Yesterday" rendition by GoldenGirl11 is the best one yet, loved it!

I also just realized what the PFK meant. Is it possible to get some kind of glossary of acronyms? I'm starting to lose track.

Keep up the awesome work fellas

Oleg Petrov said...

@gillis - I saw your follow up and thought Pants King would do just dandy.