Friday, October 08, 2010

Game 1: Get Your Own Pre-Game Ceremony, Thieves of Already Created and Now Well Established Pre-Game Ceremonies! Leafs 3-Habs 2

Let's talk 3D. I'm tempted to make this about the 3D that played for the Habs. I'm tempted to say that Carey's flu left him seeing the action in 3D...

Instead, I'd like to say how the Leafs found every possible dimension to make fools of themselves.

Put on those 3D glasses and read my words. They'll feel so different I promise you. They'll feel penetrating. Let me penetrate you with my words.

P.K. was the best D on the ice. It's a bit nuts to think about what the man can do at this age... or at least that's what I was told.  I didn't watch the game.  Why?  Why you ask?  Because I was an emotional wreck after that pregame video about how ice is made.

The geniuses who run the Leafs marketing department thought it fitting to tell Canadians (people who live in Canada) how to make ice.  Supposedly, you just take water and when it gets cold enough, it turns into ice.  But that wasn't the tear-jerker.  What did me in was them telling me that this "water" can be found all over our great land.  Turns out it's everywhere!  Wow.

And then, as I was regaining consciousness, they bring out Russ Courtnall.  That's right, Russ and his 12 career goals were there.  That's when I started convulsing.  It dawned on me that what i just saw was the equivalent of the Montreal Canadiens honoring Todd Ewen before a game.  Todd Fucking Ewen.

But Todd Ewen's jersey would be hanging from the rafters if he was a Leaf.

But that's not enough. The mensa gang over at MLSE find it fitting to TOTALLY plagiarize the Canadiens' pre-game ceremony they put together during last year's playoffs. But there's a twist: the kneel at centre ice child ignitor didn't set the arena on fire, he drowned it in water by pouring a cup of water at the centre ice circle. To do it is one thing, but to do it in front of the team that actually created it is like the Russians inviting Neil Armstrong to a "Boris was the First Man to Walk on the Moon"party.

Next week the Leafs are going to have a ceremony honouring Lanny MacDonald for mapping the genome sequence.

Who could watch the game after that? Of course, the story on this page would now include a recap of the game had the Habs won, buy the Habs lost, so the post begins and ends with the comments about this imbecile ceremony.


HabsFan29 said...

Todd Ewen. just his name makes me laugh

Habs4Ever said...

This is enough to console me about the loss. 'Nough said.

moeman said...

Todd Ewen scored more goals than bob cole. I was waiting for them to introduce Kerry Fraser in cement shoes and ceremoniously dump him in their fake lake and you know, they could've resurrected Bill Barilko. Too Soon?

Orangeman said...

Hilarious. I watched it at a bar and heard nothing and was confused the whole time. The Pens did the whole dunking a glass of water on their new ice that night, too, so I'm going to go with the Leafs stealing that idea from them, too.

Moey said...

Fuck the leafs. That's all I have to say about that.

At least we're in good company, Caps & Pens both lost their first games. The sky is only partially fallig.

Moey said...

Oops. s/b falling.

lawyergirl77 said...

I was watching the game at the ESPN Club in Disney World. We were the only losers cheering and booing out of sync with the Yankees game (although, I did boo quietly to myself whenever the Yankees would score. A girl's gotta have priorities).

We may have lost but is it wrong that I'm encouraged by the way we were playing. We weren't playing to avoid losing - we were playing to win. That, in and of itself, is a significant improvement over last year.

Sad thing is that if we go on a massive losing skid and that new system proves to be less than successful, JM is going to go back to his shitty stifling defensive system. And that makes me sad. Very shortsighted in the long run, IMHO. :(

Oh well, back to Disney World! :)

Stinky said...

I had a bit of a problem with Bob Cole being a part of the ceremony (OK, it actually touched off a margarita-fueled rant at the time). Toronto Broadcasting Corp indeed. On the upside, it kept him from calling the game.