Monday, October 25, 2010

Time for CHeerleaders? Jets preview and open thread


With the recent announcement that the Edmonton Oilers will have cheerleaders later this year, the first Canadian team to do so, our thoughts turned to cheerleaders. Well, our thoughts turned back to cheerleaders, having been fantasizing thinking about them ten minutes before. So the question needs to be asked, do we need CHeerleaders at the Bell Centre?

In a word, fuck and no. Look, I don't think anyone could accuse yours truly of not being a sexist pig who loves the female form. And God knows we love the cheerleaders. And CHeerleaders would undoubtedly be just fantastic, considering the talent in this city. But let's face it, the alleged job of a cheerleader is to get the fans worked up and excited and uh, cheering for their team. Think Habs fans need that? I think not. Not to mention there's just too much shit going on between periods and during timeouts anyway. CHeerleaders would take away valuable time from adorable little peewee kids skating five times as far as they're used to. Frankly, they should just get rid of ALL the extraneous crap. Screw the video boards, the fancy lights, the cranking of music. Just bring back the fucking organist, it's all we need in Montreal. Now get off my lawn while I grab some pom-poms (not a euphemism) and set up the Yotes.

One-two-three-four, here's the deets of what's in store - 7:30 PM start at the CHeerleader-less Bell. This is the premiere of TSN's regional coverage of Habs games, but unless you have BellTV (ch. 1402 for HD, 402 for SD), you're shit out of luck. Because when you are broadcasting the Habs, it's not like you need to be on Videotron or anything. This will be the teams' only meeting this year. Habs coming off the Saturday night shutout over the Sens, Jets lost in OT Saturday to the Whalers, and are 2-2-2 on the season. You'd think that would put them in the middle of the pack, but they're 14th in the West.

Five-six-seven-eight, here's a blog I just can't hate - Yotes Gurl is a fun read, especially when she's recounting stories of screaming at idiots in her own arena.

Three-two-one-zero, Andrei Tits, he's our hero - What a pleasure to write about Tits being hot. He lived in the cold column in the second half of last year. PleXXXe also counts as hot I guess with a point per game over his last 6, and give TFS some props too for the shutout and just being a workhorse. For the Yotes, Kyle Turrris' mom's son had a bad start but turned it up with 3 points against the Canes.

Five-four-three-two, here's some guys that you should boo - at what point does it become piling on the Giant Mexican? We may be getting there. On the plus side, if the team is 4-2-1 with each of them only having one goal, how good can we be when (if) they start scoring? Also, the PP has fallen to 30th in the league, if you're keeping track.

Red, yellow, blue, green, here's some guys that won't be seen - still no Vodkov to rescue the PP, though he should be back for the weekend. Expect the same lineup as Saturday. Alex Auld has to debut this week, right? For the Yotes, Shane Doan is sitting out the last of his 3-game suspension, and Martin Hanzal has a lower body that's injured.

Two-four-six-eight, tits and ass are really... just fucking awesome - If you want Montreal cheerleaders, here are some where they belong. The football field.

60 comments:

soperman said...

Please! Please! Please! let Markov be playing on Saturday night. I will be turning 50 on Saturday and my wonderful wife is flying me to Montreal for the Panthers game.

Chester said...

Wow ..how cool is that.

Habsfan10 said...

Ricka-ricka ree! This post fills me with glee!

Ricka-ricka rass! Kick the Yotes's ... other knee!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Five, four, three, two, one.... Great now I can't get that out of my head. Coupled with the 14 hours of football in my house yesterday I may have a seizure.

HabsFan29 said...

is it bad form to say I would like to marry soperman's wife?

Bill 101 said...

@29: I think so..but count me in too. He's a lucky fellow.

wv: the mother of my children, on the other hand, is phypolor

moeman said...

Gimme a G!

Gimme a Y!

Gimme a F!

Gimme a H!

What does it spell?

TITS!

Flying Toaster said...

I have an idea. What about we hire those Allouettes cheerleaders for whenever we play a game against Florida or New Jersey, that way we have something interesting to watch?

WV: Those cheerleaders look like they came from the garden of ededens

L Dude said...

Back of the line for Soperman's wife boys! I'm practically just around the corner (I know you're in NS someplace). Enjoy MTL BWA-HA-HA! Seriously, have a great fucking bday man!

How about instead of cheerleaders, we have a BOOB cam. There are a LOT of hot ladies at a Habs game. Pan around, zoom in and if you get shown on the big screen, flash the camera. And you get paid $1000 if you do it. So it's more like whoring than cheerleading. Way more appropriate for MTL. I know - some will say, "what about the children?!" Hey, they've ALL seen boobs already - hell for most they held the elixir of life for the first year or more of their measly existence.
What was i saying? 2, 4, 9, 10 the Habs are gonna win again!

MORE RUM!

Orangeman said...

There already are cheerleaders at the game up in the Molson Ex Zone. Sort of. They give things away anyway. In Korea they have cheerleaders at baseball games. They also have professional cheerleaders who stand outside new stores and while one of them screams into a mic under a balloon arch. Korea is a strange place.

moeman said...

"(Update: 12:30pm--
From PHX forward Scottie Upshall's twitter feed:
"Little pregame skate in Montreal.
Love it here. Especially Love winning
here in front of 20,000 fans.
"Ole, ole ole ole.." (quiet please)"."


Sent to Max Lap.

moeman said...

Despite the Habs lack of offense, we could call the CHeerleaders the CH00ters (figure it out kidz, literally).

Steve said...

lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater. What about putting a hot CHeerleader poster in the oppo net. Then even Mex might score?

HabsFan29 said...

that's good out of the box thinking steve

ok drop the fucking puck already. i shouldn't have to wait this long for a crappy Phoenix game

Steve said...

@Kenny

Thought about your comment, so I refined the tease. Picture in the net, if you score a hockey goal, you are given a chance at a real score, 5 text messages and one picture of your junk, with immunity to lawsuits and the whole charter of rights thing. Adopt my plan and then plan the parade down the usual route.

Orangeman said...

Are they experimenting with a midnight puck drop? Jesus Christ, some of us have to work tomorrow. Plus I'm forced to watch the Pheonix feed and they've interviewed everyone down to the zamboni driver.

LET'S FUCKING GO HABS.....GO! (LFGHG)

Orangeman said...

Just checked the scoreboard. They're starting the 2nd in Columbus who is in a different time zone my I remind you.

Nice. The Fox feed plays the American anthem then the game magically started. So delayed the game start or skipped the Canadian anthem.

I'm not in the mood for this. I will find a coyote on Mont Royal and stab it in protest if necessary.

HabsFan29 said...

hahaha Max checking Jovo. bounced right off him. AND fell down for his effort

HabsFan29 said...

well we're good at drawing penalties. how about cashing one?

Orangeman said...

This is not a major league PP. The 5on3 looked mildly like a 5on4 PP. This is a real problem.

RiRi said...

Okay, I've seen enough. Let's bring back the Urologist.

*please, don't hurt me*

Orangeman said...

Left the room for a moment, heard the Yotes guys complaining about another penalty. Returned to "YOU BE THE JUDGE!" with a freeze frame on a Yotes stick literally in the mouth of the Habs player (couldn't tell who it was). Ok, I'll be the judge of that, no problem.

HabsFan29 said...

now down to, what, 3 % for the year?

Moey said...

I'm watching this on 'Yotes TV live streaming. Not too bad. Cheese and rice our PP is in tatters.

HabsFan29 said...

well at least we have a better chance of scoring on the PK than on the PP

HabsFan29 said...

well it's at least more exciting than the Devils game

HabsFan29 said...

boy it's quiet around here. how can a Monday night scoreless tie with Phoenix not be drawing huge interest?

HabsFan29 said...

aw crap

Orangeman said...

Let's never talk about the Devils game again.

HabsFan29 said...

just forget i mentioned the Devils game. or the scoreless thing

Giant Mexican may never score again

HabsFan29 said...

but PleXXe will!!!

RiRi said...

PleXXXe!!!

ezzeloharr said...

Pleky! Does he still wear turtlenecks?

HabsFan29 said...

quick call the ghost of Howie Morenz

RiRi said...

Remember when we used to get all excited for a PP cause it was almost a sure goal? I miss that.

RiRi said...

SQUID!!!

HabsFan29 said...

Squid! PP!

/faints

Orangeman said...

After seeing that PP goal I have to reconsider my disbelief in Santa Claus.

RiRi said...

PleXXXe is on fire tonight

HabScot said...

PP still looks like crap.

Do you think they practise it in the dark all the time?

If not maybe they should try that it couldn't make things much worse.

Number31 said...

Our D-zone scares the shit out of me tonight.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Pee Wee A Cote St. Luc Canadiens lose 3-1. Next up, Bantam A CSL canadiens to get slaughtered. This aft Bialik bulldogs went down 14-13 in touch football (theyre Jews what do you expect?). Tough day for carpool, the GG family and for CSL sports..... Oops. Wrong blog.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK

get out of Carey's way for fucks sake

fezworth said...

Damnit. Hal Gill used to screen Habs goalies like that when he played for the Bruins too. Asshat.

fezworth said...

I can't help it... Every time I see Alex Picard's jersey, I think: "Jean-Luc".

GoldenGirl11 said...

Oy our PP is giving me Tsurris.... I've been waiting all night to write that.

HabsFan29 said...

this 3rd period is zipping by

heh @GG

fezworth said...

Hal Gill seems about as useful as a paperweight on the ice.

HabsFan29 said...

well it's a point at least. pretty even game. seems reasonable

HabsFan29 said...

TITS!!!!!!

Ronan said...

Did Tits just Bobby Orr that shit?!

Number31 said...

BOBBY ORR?

Orangeman said...

Yay! I feel happiness!

HabsFan29 said...

look at Tits throwing the pucks. he's like a kid out there

moeman said...

I was there in spirit kidz. Helped out a neighbour that had a serious trojan but had the game on HD whilst I cleaned up her PC. She's buying a Mac next week.

Like my earlier CHeer spelled out T I T S!

RiRi said...

I don't know how they break a tie in the standings after points but... 1st in the East, bitCHes!!!

Number31 said...

Update to Scottie Upshall:
Coyotes haven't won in Montreal since Mark Recchi was on the team.

moeman said...

"Not much Pie on Pie action so far."

Comment of the night is over at J.T.'s place.

Number31 said...

The game was delayed because PK broke the glass. Another thing for Don Cherry/Ted Bird to bitch about! That kid! He's got no respect for the arena glass! One of these days it'll get him! *tut tut*

Geez...so fucking sick of hearing some dude on TV bitch about how PK plays with an edge. Never thought I'd hear this crap for a player playing well. Deal with it, haters. PK's played like that his whole life and that's why he's awesome. Would people rather he played like Pouliot?

Grrrreg said...

Best way to start a day: watching highlights of a habs game punctuated by beautiful flying Tits.