Sunday, October 17, 2010

Oh Big Tits, It's Nice to See you Again. Habs 4, Sens 3


We're lucky to have such a talented artist as GG11 here at FHF. Sometimes I can't believe she puts up with our adolescent requests. Like: "The boobs need to be bigger!!!"

Oh Habs, you had me going there for a while. What with losing the last 8 of 9 to those pesky Senators, including 5 of 6 just last year.  And having apparently played a "perfect game" the night before (although calling any non-shutout game 'perfect' is an insult to the entire goaltenders' union), you had an excuse for a let down. I admit it, after Mic-A-lick walked around the-Jaro-everyone-now-wishes-Goat-had-traded-in-the-offseason, I thought that was it. It just seemed that despite the lopsided shot count, everything the Sens threw at the net seemed to find a way to hit the twine - and that is in no way a reflection of TFS(TM)'s play, who was solid when he needed to be, yet again.

Even after the fluke Halpern goal that started the comeback, I pointed out to Mrs. Panger that 2 of the last 4 goals scored were actually scored by the opponents. Um, not good.

And then Big Tits, who has been downright perky all season, decided to pull his second Ovie impression of the year off a beauty pass from Turtlepleks. And the whole team seemed to shake off the memories of having to visit Buffalo, and perked right up, too. Oh Big Tits, how we (I) missed you. You could have just sagged along without your Little brother, sulked in your silent-type of way, and generally left a gaping hole in the Canadiens top 6. But instead, it seems like you figured out how to work the toolbox, cause it's clear you always had the tools. (For you Leafs fans, what I mean is that it was all in his head.) 

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Yannick Bouchard (who looks really comfortable next to the bench - as opposed to on the ice; guess he's used to it) was absolutely right: instead of playing on the periphery like some kind of loosie-goosie pond hockey game (I wonder where you learned that from? **coughkovalevcough**), the Large Breasted One has been driving to the net hard, with and without the puck. To McSplooge what I'm saying: his compete level is high, he's engaged and, at times, Bit Tits has been Monster Tits. And lookie lookie, he's got a nice pair (of goals) in 5 games. Just hope he's really, truly figured out what it takes, and he's not just flashing us again - 'cause he really does have a very nice rack of talent.

[As an even greater aside, can someone please point me in the direction of the "FIRE MARIO TREMBLAY" website/facebook page/congregation of disgruntled postal workers? Please? Fucking fool. I still hate that boob. I keep dreaming about Alain Crete punching him righ in his stupid head, right out of nowhere.]

By no means does that mean I'm satisfied. Hamr, the-Jaro-everyone-now-wishes-Goat-had-traded-in-the-offseason, and - gasp - even Subbanator need to stop letting pucks skip off their sticks in the defensive zone, whether or not when they're under any particular forechecking pressure. Gio scored a goal, but the so-called "First Line" needs to start scoring like one. Squid needs to score against someone not wearing antarctic water fowl on his jersey. CHicken needs a goal to bounce in off his ass or something. So does Lars - but then again, look who's feeding him the puck, and he has had created some nice scoring chances to go with his Danish turnovers.

But the Double G's, Josh Georges and Hal Gill, look like they've picked up where they left off in the playoffs, and Georges even looks like he's figured out where they keep the other net used in most hockey games. Captain Picard even looked pretty good last night. TurtlePleks is actually more than earning that contract so far. Halpern, Boyd and the other roster filler has been solid. And one loss in 5 games is pretty darn good, anytime.

But you don't win without scoring goals, so again I say: Bit Tits, it's nice to see you again. I can honestly say I can never get enough of what you've got to show us.

Like run-on sentences and boobs as much as I do? Tell us about it in the comments.

13 comments:

GoldenGirl11 said...

I love the run-on sentence.

That pic gave me nightmares all night.

Young HF29 said...

am now on 30 minutes deciding if that pic turns me on. i have issues

Young HF29 said...

i still don't know. but at least i read the post finally (while i smoked a cigarette). a star trek reference! HF10 is gonna be PISSED

Huzzah said...

How can you still call Gorges "GEorges"..... unless it's a joke ;P

Mr. natural said...

I think I ran into that chick...err guy ...uhmmm Ladyboy in Thailand once, or maybe twice but thats it! (NNTAWWT.

Steve said...

Good to see Big Tits playing like its 2007. As for the plyon, the new urologist, why not send him to Hamilton and bring back Souray? It cant be any worse and Souray is an actual PP specialist. Its only fucking Molsons money.

moeman said...

Danish turnovers, heh.

Also, Big Tits has really bad hair, which, for some, can be a turn off.

Number31 said...

Last year I felt the Habs D scored more on themselves by kicking pucks into their own net than into the other net. I'll take these two fluky goals thankyouverymuch.

Anonymous said...

You were probably reffering to JOEL Bouchard and not Yannick.The one who comments from the ice level jsut like mcsplooge does^

Anonymous said...

You are funny

Anonymous said...

that pic is just sick.

moeman said...

QUOTED
“We will sue their pants off. …
They will be punished. …
They might find their little butts in jail.
We will find you. You cannot hide.”

– KISS bassist and copyright hard-liner Gene Simmons,
quoted on ReadWriteWeb, after GeneSimmons.com was
shut down Saturday by a denial-of-service attack apparently
launched by the anti-copyright-law vigilantes of Anonymous.

Pants!

Anonymous said...

That picture will be seared into my brain forever.

Thanks a fuckin' lot.