Saturday, October 09, 2010

Piss on the fucking Penguins and their new building - Pittsburgh preview and open thread


You know, we hate a lot around here. We love, too, don't get me wrong, what with all the FHF groupie sex we're having. But our shared passion is hatred of certain teams. We play the Bs, we play the Laffs, and are united in our despising of the opposition. It's why a game against Columbus is boring. Not just that it's Columbus, but there is just no animosity there. Makes for a boring game. When it comes to hating, there are the Bs and the Leafs, and then there is everyone else. Oh sure, you could write a 10 Things I Hate or something about just about any team (well again, maybe not Columbus), but there are really only certain teams you really get your hate on for. The aforementioned Bs and Leafs, the Flyers, Detroit, maybe the Rangers (just for the pity), maybe some of the other Canadian teams. For a long time I was terribly ambivalent about the Pens. No more. Fuck them. I hate them and their piece of shit crybaby captain, and I don't care who knows it.

So what was it that pushed my Pens hate to the next level? Well I don't think I need to remind you that the Habs beat the Pens in last year's playoffs. Or maybe I do, who knows your brain my be addled with drugs like mine. Anyway, I really didn't hate the Pens going into that series. I even respected them. I always liked Sid as a player, thought he worked hard, I liked his style. Sure, a bit of a crybaby but what are you going to do. I hated their fans more than the team, what with the fans complaining about us complaining about Sid complaining. Even as the series progressed, even with all the Bettman-inspired bullshit refereeing, I really didn't hate the Pens; my hate was directed at the NHL and CBC announcers. Then Game 7, Sid got an obvious penalty in the first period and cried about it. Man up you pussy. Then, I don't think I need to remind you of his post-Game 7 interview of dickishness. I was starting to hate, but really, it was one player, not the team. I was still ambivalent about them. Then this year rolled around, and the Pens moved into a new building, the Consol Energy Center. In conjunction with that move, the team has unveiled a new slogan:

Destiny has a new home.

Urge. To kill. RISING. Hate: complete. "Destiny"??? You have a fucking "destiny" you motherfuckers? You have jack shit except attitude and assholery. Go piss on yourself and your destiny. Take your destiny and shove it up your Game 7 loss. Thank you, Pens marketing department, for creating a slogan that the rest of the league can coalesce their hate around. Great, I now have something in common with Flyer fans. I hate my life.

Join me for the hate at - 7 PM from the Consol Center on CBC. Both teams lost their openers.

I can even hate on my own team - CHicken and the defense, notably the new Baron von Pylon, Jaro 2.0.

I can't hate - Squid, back from the antisemitic suspension, he of the 7 goals against the Pens in the series last year. And the new guys, Boyd, Eller, and Halpern who all contributed in the Leafs loss.

I can hate in a fun way - The Pensblog. They were always the personification of their asshole fans (at least they were funny about it), but now they redesigned their site. "Oooh, look at us, we're real journalists not bloggers with our fancy schmancy website. We're better than you." You are not.

Piss on the Pens.

67 comments:

Number31 said...

Yea... Why do the Penguins have to be so overly dramatic about everything?

All they need now is some Don LaFontaine.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Yeah, that's a pretty ridiculous po-- OH SWEET FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIS EAR???

New reason to hate the Pens: Their captained by fucking Benjamin Bitchin Button.

HabsFan4 said...

This is going to be a good game.

For a second game of the season, it's going to be real good.

29 is definitely in the spirit of things. So is Mario's prostate evidently.

Number31 said...

I'm having chicken tonight. And Chicken better cluck.

Moey said...

Team of destiny? Fuck that. There was, is and will only be one team of destiny, the Wings..er Habs.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Apparently the marketing department didn't let Mario pee for three days before they had the ceremony and (given his age) it took 3 hours to film! Wow. Impressive. I know another destiny, Mario. Dialysis.

cottoneye said...

Baron Von Pylon still makes me laugh. And I HATE having something in common with Flyers fans. Ugh.

Go habs!

moeman said...

All Mario is sayin' is give piss a chance.

HabsFan29 said...

DarCHe is a healthy scratch. After last game, that's good news

moeman said...

cbchnic with a kadri update. Why?

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Are they seriously booing Subban?

I mean, I know we certainly boo some questionable players, but I just thought that was one of our quirks.

bea.habs.fan said...

what a save by our supposed crap goalie

bea.habs.fan said...

lots more time in the habs zone
not thrilled about that

moeman said...

Squidelicious!

bea.habs.fan said...

Caaaaaammmyyyyy

BJG said...

With DarCHe scratched and Squid back in, the Habs now have more Jews playing than Quebecois (CHicken being Franco-Ontarian). Gotta be a first. BR is spinning in his crypt.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

oh jesus...jesus jesus jesus

bea.habs.fan said...

2 PK guys down
thnak god comrie gets a penalty

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

It must be somewhat frustrating to be a real Pittsburgh hockey fan. When you hit someone in the face with the stick and he gets cut, it's 4 mins. Stop booing.

My hatred for this team is slowly turning into contempt.

bea.habs.fan said...

why did gorges get 2 for roughing?
because he had words with Crosby in defense of his partner?
or did he do something earlier?

Moey said...

It's been a chippy night so far, two of my cats are wrestling on the family room floor.

moeman said...

@Moey, are they both felines?

Moey said...

@moeman,

It's the brokeback duo, at least they're not doing their "thing" in the bay window. Oy.

moeman said...

Speaking of brokeback, ack. 1-1.

bea.habs.fan said...

somehow, you know that was coming

bea.habs.fan said...

no matter what happens, I'm thoroughly enjoying this game.
1) my first full game in forever
2) the constant back and forth is fun to watch

I LOVE HOCKEY

GYFHG

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Every time I see PK going on one of his beautiful attacking bursts, puck on one arm, the other knocking people back with a Subban Stiffarm (TM), I think of Don Cherry's smug face telling us kids to always, always keep two hands on the stick.

HabsFan29 said...

i just jumped in. been drinking with the family. piss on the Pens

looks like a chippy game. i like it

bea.habs.fan said...

the ice must be crappy given the number of falls
i feel like I'm watching clowns at the circus

HabsFan29 said...

Bob got the most excited on the PP when the puck "GOT AWAY FROM EVERYBODY"!!!!

good to see some things never change

HabsFan29 said...

TFS looking decent. that's something, right?

bea.habsfan said...

bit more than decent actually
WV talent hummm

HabsFan29 said...

PFK is the greatest interview evar

BJG said...

2010/2011 Canadien scoring race, by religion:
Jews: 2
All other religions: 1

bea.habs.fan said...

it's a very quiet night here at FHF.
where is everybody?

HabsFan29 said...

@bea - well, im drunk so it's hard to comment. other people are so drunk, they're asleep

beahabs.fan said...

obviously I'm not watching this game in the right place.
I'm sober enough to mostly type with no typos

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

How many years does the Mexican have left on his contract?

HabsFan29 said...

you know, i think also Bob Cole is putting everyone to sleep

bea.habs.fan said...

that'swhy I switched to RDS (even if they say Letemps rather than Letangue)
BB actually has intelligent comments.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK

HabsFan29 said...

five hole, meh

GoldenGirl11 said...

Fuck

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

PK must feel like he's playing alone out there on D.

HabsFan29 said...

"Pouliot passes to no one and Spacek gets caught on a bad pinch"

sounds about right

bea.habs said...

YEAH

bea.habs.fan said...

YEAH BIS

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HabsFan29 said...

i'm speechless

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK YEAH

piss on you Pens

bea.habs.fan said...

let's be honest
Price did good

moeman said...

I think I wet my Pants!

BJG said...

Jews: 3
Non-Jews: 2

marcintouch said...

This was worth being shit on by my entire home town and most of cyberspace. Price won a goalie duel! FUCK YEAH.

Ronan said...

Dunno if anyone caught it, but there was a sequence in the 3rd where O'Byrne broke his stick and had to play with Pouliot's... Pouliot being a LH shot.

And somehow Rhino didn't fuck it up. Colour me mildly impressed.

Now if only Pouliot could learn to play with his own stick.

(heh...)

bea.habs.fan said...

@ronana
saw that.
actually I thought OB wasn't so bad.
can't say the same for Spatch

couldn't quite understand the booing PK. hold over bitterness form the playoffs?

Ronan said...

@ bea

But he stepped on Staal's foot, don'tcha know! He's a dirty, dirty player and he's gonna end someone's career someday!

Number31 said...

Wooo!
Here's what I heard from Pensland:
- PK embellished (while nearly having his eye poked out)
- Reffing was awful (if you mean the zillion penalties they didn't give the Pens and the couple of crap calls the Habs got)
- Lapierre's a jerk (and Talbot fell for his trap mwahahaha)

Gomez' goal made me laugh. Also made Alex Bauld laugh.

This was from the Habs' morning practice. Shove that in your destiny.

Orangeman said...

What just happened. I'm still confused. Whos's a what now?

Win? O...........k......what?

Price was solid.

Ca-rey-Ca-rey-Ca-rey!!!!

Yeah, I'm on the bandwagon. Unlike the 'wagon' I hope I won't fall off this time.

Number31 said...

The win apparently got the Pensblog account suspended...?

HabsFan29 said...

@N31 - BWAHAHAHAHAHA. fuck those fuckers

Number31 said...

Carey Price blocked the Pensblog.

bill101 said...

just borrowed a teenager;s pod thingy

life is good

go habs go

Van Hab said...

High Fives All Around! I missed this feeling.

L Dude said...

LD NOTES:

Happy Turkey Day!

Fuck! Yeah!

What a game by Price! A+

Squiiiiiiiiiid!

The pens fans hate PFK. That's awesome. And all because he intentionally sliced Staal's foot (in May), and then during the summer, traveled to Thunder Bay and sneaked into the Staal household in the middle of the night, found Jordan and Jared's bedroom, found him (FUCK! Top bunk of course - no problem for PFK), reopened the wound and pissed in it. And now the fucking thing is infected and Staal's going to miss a bunch of time.

Would Weber not be better than Picard?

Chicken and Tits (no need to differentiate between sizes anymore) didn't pack their hearts on this trip. Man, they don't seem into it. Each with an important assist though.

Eller was meh as well.

Did I mention Price? Fuck yeah.

PFK should have some respect. He's new in this league and shouldn't be mouthing off to the likes of Crosby and friends. He deserves a stick in the eye. Fuck off Cherry.

Bob Cole is Seventy fucking seven years old. Seriously. There's NOBODY else to call a hockey game?
Hey lawyers, is there no mandatory retirement age anymore?

After that game, my hate for the Pens is nearing the level of the B's and Laffs. Nearly. We'll see how the next one goes.

Ciao. Time to get the turkey on.

LD

kevincrumbs said...

I watched the first period when it was replayed last night on Centre Ice (before I fell asleep on the couch) and was somewhat surprised at how quickly my hatred of Pittsburgh returned. Fuck those shitheads.

Also, at least I didn't have to cheer for him in the Olympics, suckers! Oh and Fleury sucks donkey balls.

Cowboyatheart said...

I mourn the pensblog. It used to be good reading. Now, blah.

At least five for smiting and PPP are still a decent read.