As mentioned in TMS this morning, the NHL and Stan Lee have teamed up to promote the All-Star game by having superheroes, or "Guardians" of all the NHL teams in time for game. And over the weekend, the Canadien was revealed. It frightens us. Let's take a look at the superpowers he was given:
Legendary protector of Quebec
I think a million Nords fans in this province would rather see another English win on the Plains of Abraham than be protected by anyone with a CH on their chest.
Controls power absorption and magnification
We're really not sure what this means, but if "controls power absorption" translates to "limit the ability to score", CHokula already has that job covered.
That's it? Well, those powers are totally useless. Here's some superpowers he should have been given:
- Strength to squish The Mexican's salary with one hand;
- Sense to determine if JM is breathing;
- Magical touch that heals defensemen's knees;
- Rotating the Earth to turn back time to the 1970's;
- Ability to communicate with Belarussians of limited intelligence.
Waiting for the Joss Whedon Avengers movie - 7:30 PM start at the Bell. On TSNHabsBell and Sportsnet West for you Panger types. This is the teams' first meeting this year, the next one will be the Winter Classic in February. Flames coming off two straight wins, including Saturday night against the Leafs we all saw because the CBC couldn't switch there fast enough. The Flames are 6-2-2 in their last 10 to get back to .500, working mightily to get back into the playoff picture after a miserable start to the season. Here's a pleasing stat - Habs are actually 4-1-1 in their last 6 at the Bell. A win would NOT tie the Habs' point total with the Bs, because I'm an idiot.
Magneto - as much as the Flames can be a villain. Unfortunately the other FHF has closed down so check out the amusing Dome Beers and their many pics of half-naked CHicks. So they're like FHF too.
Flying high like Spider-Man swinging from buildings - Big Bald Alex Auld is 2-0-0, 1.37, .941 in his last 3 and gets his first-ever Bell Centre start. PleXXXe and CHeez Whiz are a point per game over their last 4. For the Flames, Iggy has 5 points in his last 4, and some goalie named Henrik Karlsson is playing well.
Iceman (and not in a good kind of way) - Mexican and Gio both pointless in 3.
Damaged like The Hulk's pants - CHicken and CHeez Whiz (sounds delish!) are both suffering from the new "inner body injury" that is sweeping the team and are game-time decisions. Rumoured future Habs D Robyn Regehr is day to day with a leg injury.
Is it possible to have sex with an Invisible Woman? If she's played by Jessica Alba, I sure will try.
Bring your commenting superpowers to bear!