Saturday, January 08, 2011

What me worry? ~ MAD Bruins Game Preview and free fold-up thread


One Exceedingly Fine Time to be the Canadiens' CoaCH ~ Alfred E. Martin can't get any luck. No scoring, no Vodkov, no Gorges, no love, no powerplay, no problem? meh, JM has a system, time for the team to play it.

TV MADness ~ RDS and CBCockroaCHes, 7pm puck drop, usual SHKLORTCH's Corner, PJ Muggs' OOTGREETs, MAD Mike's BLORTings, leaf fan Tyler Seguin SIZAFITZes!, ron mclame's WHUMPuns and the senile tones of Bob 'GINGGING' Cole.


Fight for the First Place Cover ~ Bs are 21-12-6 (5-3-2), Habs are 22-16-3 (4-5-1)

Not so Top Secret ~ TFSpy™ vs. ThomaSpy


Free Carey Price Poseter ~ I agree with Sweet Daddy Kane

Cracked! ~ Josh, Marky, Habs' PowerPlay

Amazing Inventions:The Strip Club ~ Boston doesn't have any, this place is fun


Scenes we'd like to see ~ A too many men on the ice penalty that decides the game for Montréal


Believe it or Nuts! ~ Bruins Blog

The MAD Academy Award ~ for impersonating a goal scorer ~ The Do It Yourself CHicken!

Badly-Needed Warning Label ~ Playing defense for the CH can be ruinous to your knees

Fold it HF29 style ~ if you made it to end of the post, nice going, now print this page and fold to reveal what 29 actually does with his ovenmitts (nice Holiday beard!)


Song based on a popular tune ~ 'One Step Beyond!' by MADness (yes, I thought of doing 'MAD World' by Tears for Fears but this one was shorter and I'll save my primal streams for gametime).

Hey you, don't watCH that 
WatCH this! 
This is the heavy heavy Pants! sound 
The nuttiest sound around 
So if you've come in off Ste. CHaterine Street 
And you're Habs are beginning to feel the heat 
Well listen you fucking busters 
You better start to move your feet 
To the rockinest, rock-steady beat 
Of MADness 
One step beyond!


G Y F H G!!!

87 comments:

Number31 said...

It's a gas!

moeman said...

Good one N31.

Habs powerdoesn'tplay parody.

Orangeman said...

First Saturday night game in almost a month! And no leaf game to fuck it up, either! Of course they scored 9 Gs last night so I'm sure that'll take up 73% of the chatter on the CBC.

HabsFan29 said...

William Gaines is proud of FHF today. outstanding work kids

i go out for the day and come home and the U.S. is shooting each other. yegads

hockey on a Saturday night FINALLY. what a concept!

the Maritimer said...

All hail the System!!

moeman said...

GG11's Alfred E. Martin is an instant classic (amongst many others).

ti-cul said...

f gagnon still having his man crush on double d. fuck at least i don't have to listen to coaCHroaCHes and la grosse CHerise

moeman said...

cbc doesn't deserve Friedman.

Habs deserve Babcock, he's a local boy. (Ya think JM hand slaps the boys after a win?)

moeman said...

Nice shot by Stevie Y. at the sanctimonious mclame.

Orangeman said...

Does Cole even understand the basics of hockey? "It was an early whistle!" It's a delayed penalty you senile idiot. In fact, it was a very late whistle. And now he doesn't understand why Thomas left the net. Unbelievable.

moeman said...

Live in Gatineau, watCHing RDS, missing Bob Cold's hilarious inanities. KMP 0man.

Moey said...

Do we look decent tonight or are Boston not particularly good? Their PP is atrocious.

Orangeman said...

@moe: that took me a while to figure out KMP (keep me posted...right?). If you're really hard up for the Cold, CBC.ca is your friend. Or enemy. Or the cockroach behind the fridge.

moeman said...

So far, so good.

moeman said...

All good 0man, I'll wait for your updates.

Orangeman said...

Nothing to report yet, although I did learn that Dryden was drafted by the Broons only to be traded to the Habs for nothing.

Orangeman said...

Has squid taken up drinking? Inner ear problem? He's been falling all over the place the last few games.

bea.habs.fan said...

that was the lamest fight ever.
`i don't encourage violence but if you're goign to mix it up at least look interested

Zdog said...

Is the something a little ironic about Coache's Corner being sponsored by a company whose slogan is "well-dressed"?

Orangeman said...

Lazy clearing attempts. Is it sad that I doubt the Habs can score 2 goals in any game to win?

Orangeman said...

They've given up. I think I have too. I mean, does anyone believe they'll score 3 goals tonight? Time to make dinner.

iRiRi said...

Squid is injured and we're down 2 goals. Sigh.

I'd be willing to bet my car they don't get back in it...

Orangeman said...

I was tyring to think, who do you even depend on to score? The best I could think of is Cheese Whiz which frankly depressed me.

Orangeman said...

Shut out again (let's be honest). They need a scorer. Just anyone. I'm feeling very badly about this team and their future if they can't get someone on this team to score goals.

bea.habs.fan said...

okay I'm goign to put my positive cap on and ...
who am I kidding - these game shave become boring in their predictability.
someone wake me up when the season is over, I'm going into hibernation like this team.

iRiRi said...

What they need is a new system.

Ronan said...

I think Thomas must have ebola.

It's the only reasonable explanation why no one will go anywhere near him.

moeman said...

Habs need to get MAD!

Bill 101 said...

I agree with Moey. B's suck - esp. in first - but Habs suck worse. What a disappointment.

*summons up courage*

GYFFFFFHG

the Maritimer said...

OK, I think I've figured out the "System".

Chocula: If we score 1 goal and don't let them score any, we'll win.

The opposition scores first...

Chocula: If we can score 1 goal we'll at least get a point if we can make it to overtime.


The opposition scores again...

Muller: Uh, Coach we have to score 3 goals to win now.

Chocula: When do we play again?

iRiRi said...

C'mon. Just give us this one goal.

Orangeman said...

It's not a high stick. But it doesn't matter. It won't be a goal.

the Maritimer said...

This team is boring as fuck to watch.

I was thinking earlier in the game, does Montreal really have a number 1 line? Cammalleri, Plekanec and Kostitsyn. Is that a number 1 line, really? You might consider Cammalleri one third of a number 1 line but that's about it. Pleky reminds me a little of Saku, good defensively, decent point totals, but essentially a good number 2 center. Big Tits is basically useless. If he was going to be any good, he would be there by now.

I think they're fucked.

I'm going to shut up now and have another Gibsons.

moeman said...

Fucking kevin pollock strikes again.

zdog said...

FUCK THAT SHIT

Orangeman said...

Like I said....

And of course CBC is saying "YES HE'S RIGHT!"

Interesting, the ref made no call, went over to Thomas and then made his dramatic no-goal sign. The stick was above the goal line, but not when it made contact. But, like I said....

Orangeman said...

@Maritimer: This team doesn't have a goal scorer, nevermind a #1 line. No one there seems to be concerned about that, though.

Number31 said...

Habs got hosed. Slowmo replay on RDS clearly shows Darche hit the puck and it changed direction as Thomas punched it into his own net. So FUCK YOU WAR ROOM.

the Maritimer said...

Thomas looks like a fat Hasek flopping around in the crease.

Another 3-0 shutout coming up? That will be half a dozen this year won't it?

wv = Habs make another smess on the ice.

Moey said...

@maritimer,

I agree, get rid of AK46 right fucking now. Also, I'm probably the only person on the planet that wasn't thrilled about the re-signing of Pleks. WTF? Remember the Flyers playoff series last year, for THREE FUCKING GAMES the whole bloody lot of them were useless, couldn't score to save themselves. FUCK.

Orangeman said...

Get rid of all these losers.

I'm tired of watching terrible hockey.

the Maritimer said...

@Orangeman and Moey: The Goat says they can win with what they got. I guess he is seeing something that we aren't. Fucked I know what it is.

moeman said...

Ref didn't look too pleased to call that.

iRiRi said...

You know, I would agree about trading AK but seriously, can anyone name a player who has been having a good season thus far? They all collectively suck.

When the season started, who thought that after 41 games, Squid would have 12 goals?

Orangeman said...

Ok, ref better talk to Thoams and Toronto to see how you can deny this one.

iRiRi said...

Mex? DarCHe? Who cares.

I mean, when Darche is your biggest offensive threat...

Orangeman said...

So they didn't get shut out. Yay!...?

Life as a Habs fan in 2011. Celebrating not getting shut out.

Although to be fair, they totally got fucked over on that other call.

moeman said...

Whizzed!

iRiRi said...

PLAN THE PARADE!!!

Orangeman said...

OH MY GOD.

Knew it all along, never gave up hope......

Don't I look stupid.

moeman said...

Fuck off Pollock you fuck.

Zdog said...

Oh great, now they're going to call that one back?

Orangeman said...

Oh, another review. If this is called back I hope they rip the place apart.

Bill 101 said...

mmmfp mmmfp mmmfp

^

*the sound of me eating my words*

bhf said...

WOW
who would have thought

Orangeman said...

I feel like a kid on xmas morning opening socks and underwear, throwing a fit and then finding the big box behind the tree with the Nintendo.

Kids still play Nintendo...right?

I stand by the fact that this team still needs scorers.

Orangeman said...

4 straight OTs.

the Maritimer said...

Fuck. It's a miracle.

Bartender. Another round.

moeman said...

PatCHes!!!

Orangeman said...

OH

Orangeman said...

MY

Orangeman said...

GOD

iRiRi said...

PatCHes!!!

*faints*

FUCK OFF, CHARA.

moeman said...

Stamp out Chara!!!

moeman said...

Notice how Brunet automatically suggested PFK mouthed off to Chara to instigate the brouhahaha. Asshole.

Orangeman said...

Watched the NYR 0-5 comeback earlier today on youtube for some reason.

I love being wrong sometimes (glad I got my one annual mistake out of the way early this year). I just love how they find new ways to embarass and humiliate the Bs.

Technically they're still not on top of the NE because Broons also got a point and so now they're tied but the Bs have games in hand.

Mr. natural said...

PHucken'sweet!!

About time.

Remember Mr. Natural told you keep the faith, this is a competitive team.

We play well against the good teams.

All we need to do is make the playoffs.

For once the breaks (other than that disallowed goal) really went our way when they had to.

GYMFHG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the Maritimer said...

The Bruins have to be the kings of choke artists.

Fuck off Chara you shaved gorilla.

iRiRi said...

Suddenly, I'm really looking forward to the last five minutes of Canadien Express.

Moey said...

Okay, I still stand by what I said earlier, unless Maxpac turns into Guy Lafleur by the end of the regular season we ain't gong to the promised land.

Number31 said...

THAT'S FOR FUCKING US ON THAT FIRST GOAL! CBC in mourning. Also fuck off Lurch. Patches barely touched you you big fucking baby.

Van Hab said...

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
WHO JUST DID THAT?
This team isn't SUPPOSED to do these things.

iRiRi said...

Apparently, it's just a flu bug for Cammy.

LUCKIEST. NIGHT. EVER.

moeman said...

Maybe Squid gave the Bs some of his diarrhoea, cuz they sure Poohed their bed.

L Dude said...

I never doubted the boys...really. Watched the game with my daughter. Told her with 10 minutes left not to worry. Habs would win it in OT. When they did, she actually said OMG. Not oh my God. OMG. Kids these days.

I wish Gill could fight. That would be a fucking awesome super heavyweight bout against the biggest crybaby in the world.
I didn't think it was possible to hate that big ugly fuck more. Lo and behold. I can.

Great fucking night to be a Habs fan. Going to be a great fucking Monday morning when I walk into the office to greet my 3 Bruin fan co-workers. Stupid fucks.

HabsFan29 said...

just got in. what'd i miss?




oh my.

Number31 said...

Holy fucking shit homer-douchebag at his best. I mean REALLY?! Hope Cammy gave them the gastro.

Mr. natural said...

@31, what a PHucken'asshole!!
Jesus CHrist hard to believe that some of these guys are considered professionals.

Makes RDS look like Mensa.

Orangeman said...

@31,29: Meh, the Boston media. Last time the boys met them one of their writers started his sum up with two paragraphs on how the Habs are dirty but get away with it (I think he finally mentioned the score in the 5th or 6th paragraph). When one club dominates and humiliates yours for over a century you start going a little nuts. At least we don't pay them with our tax dollars to call our team cockroaches.

Orangeman said...

And by 29 I mean natural.

I'm ever so tired but can't seem to sleep.

Anonymous said...

@Oman:

Sweden 1A vs Sweden 1B on HNIC is worth a look

French Toast said...

Pac-Man FTW!

Kinda sad we're not first in the NE but I'll take a win any day of the week, especially a win like this. Never know how it'll help because it isn't just the two points you get.

GO HABS GO!

soperman said...

Wow. Great preview. Entertaining posts. It's amazing that half of the FHF fanbase hasn't committed hari-kari with a sharpened hockey stick. I hope everyone enjoyed the end as much as I did. Glad that Squid just has an infection.

Habsfan1993 said...

Boston has two strip clubs. Across from each other. Each one as different from the other as Don Cherry and Ron McLean.

the Maritimer said...

Although that win came out of nowhere, and was enjoyable because of all the bad karma inflicted on the B's and their asshole NESN broadcaster, it doesn't cover up the underlying flaws on display last night for 57 minutes.

The Canadiens struggle to score because when the opposition decides and is physically able to close down the middle of the ice like Boston did last night well, if not for two (2) lucky delections Tim Thomas leaves the building with his stats padded even more and we're cursing the System.
Although Cheez Wiz brings much needed offense from the back end, he and Captain Picard are fucking scary in their own zone as evidenced last night by their -2 numbers.
Finally, Carey Price is showing the Goat wasn't wrong to make him number 1 in the net, but there is only so much he can do.

The Habs will obviously win their share of games but there is no way on God's green earth this bunch will beat the Phuckin' Phlyers in the playoffs. Three shutouts out of five games last spring as Moey pointed out last night by Michael Leighton of all people should be evidence of that.

Don't be fooled by last night's surprise collapse of known choke artists the Bahstan Broons. I've been around too long to get my hopes up again for this bunch.

the Maritimer said...

(2) deflections, obviously.

L Dude said...

Um, if your grandfather made a fool of himself on national television every week, wouldn't you maybe step in and have a chat. Suggest maybe retirement isn't such a horrible option. I'm at the point where I just feel sorry for Bob Cole now. It's just sad.
And Healy obviously hasn't watched a Habs game this year, certainly not the past month, the way he went on about how Cammalleri's absence was going to hurt the Habs. Maybe just wishful thinking on his part I suppose.

Anyway, hell of a way to take 2 points. And who the hell leaves the Bell Centre with 5 minutes left and only down by two?