At 1 PM CHeez Whiz should be lounging at home instead of playing hockey - Thrash preview and open thread

1 PM!!! 1 PM!!! 1 PM!!!! Do you hear me, FHF'ers? The game is at 13h00. What the fuck is up with that? I'm really not happy with that kind of timing. It totally screws up my usual Sunday schedule. On Sundays I wake up late, get the hooker to finally leave already, have a leisurely breakfast while I do a crossword puzzle, and start drinking at noon so I am pleasantly buzzed when I sit down in front of my TV for the 1 PM football game. Now, I , uh, hmmm... have to find a whole new channel at 1 PM! That totally screws everything up.

On another note, I fucking love CHeez Whiz. Both the defenceman and the imitation processed cheese food product. I have been eating it since I was little and I continue to eat it to this day. I have a jar in my fridge right now. I'm putting some on my toast right fucking now! I have gone from the original CHeez Whiz to the light version, but otherwise I have eaten CHeez Whiz consistently since I am five years old. The funny thing is, I really only do two things with it (even though Kraft Canada alone has 128 recipes for it) - put it on toast and make nachos or nacho sauce with it. Yet those two things have sustained my use of CHeez Whiz for nearly 40 years. And when I was younger, it was only the toast thing because I don't think we even had tortilla chips and salsa then. Had you said salsa to someone in the 1970's they would have stared at you blankly. You kids today and all your fancy salsas don't know how good you have it. What I like about CHeez Whiz is the fine line it straddles between spread and sauce. So versatile! Interestingly, in the United States it's marketed more as a sauce while in Canada it's marketed like a spread. Look at the American jar versus the Canadian one.The American jar is designed for dipping something into it, while the Canadian jar requires a knife or other implement. Fascinating! I could discuss CHeez Whiz all day.

And CHeez Whiz has really shored up our defense. Talk about versatile.

Waiting in line to buy a jar - the aforementioned 1 PM start, on RDS and TSN Habs on Bell. Habs returning from the 2-5 road trip to the comforts of home. Thank goodness we won the last one, or the boo birds would have been out en masse. Thrash, after flirting with first place in the Southeast, are now in a slump too having lost 5 of their last 6, including their most recent one against the lowly (ha!) Devils. Atlanta shut us out 3-0 in our only meeting this year.

Not even sure they have CHeez Whiz in the American South - The Blueland Chronicle has a great irreverant take on the Thrash and their blog lives up to the blue name.

Hot like CHeez Whiz fresh from the microwave - CHeez Whiz! 2 goals in the Panthers win including the OT winner. The Mexican had 3 points in the state of Florida. Dusten Byfuglien is a point per game over his last 7.

Cold like the CHeez Whiz I keep in my fridge even though it could probably last 10 years in a cabinet considering the amount of "cheese" in there - CHicken pointless in 7, Tits pointless in 3, though I think he's playing a bit better lately. While I am leery to put TFS here considering he really got no help in most of his losses, we have to recognize his December numbers were all way down from October-November. For the Thrash, they have a bunch of pointless players and crappy goaltending lately.

Adding a Mexican flavour to the CHeez Whiz lineup - I don't even know where to start. Well, let's start with the fact we haven't even mentioned the Mad Max trade around here. Consider it mentioned. David Desharnais was tied for the most points in the AHL when he was called up on Friday, and should make his debut today, no doubt on the fourth line where CHokula puts all his best scorers. Iron man D Josh Gorges has been placed on IR to rehab his wonky knee, no word on for how long.

Post-game entertainment - sadly, my YouTube search for "babes wrestling in CHeez Whiz" came up empty. You'll have to settle for this vid of a cute (and thin) woman setting some sort of record scarfing down a Philly Cheesesteak, which may have been made with CHeez Whiz.