Sunday, January 02, 2011

At 1 PM CHeez Whiz should be lounging at home instead of playing hockey - Thrash preview and open thread


1 PM!!! 1 PM!!! 1 PM!!!! Do you hear me, FHF'ers? The game is at 13h00. What the fuck is up with that? I'm really not happy with that kind of timing. It totally screws up my usual Sunday schedule. On Sundays I wake up late, get the hooker to finally leave already, have a leisurely breakfast while I do a crossword puzzle, and start drinking at noon so I am pleasantly buzzed when I sit down in front of my TV for the 1 PM football game. Now, I , uh, hmmm... have to find a whole new channel at 1 PM! That totally screws everything up.

On another note, I fucking love CHeez Whiz. Both the defenceman and the imitation processed cheese food product. I have been eating it since I was little and I continue to eat it to this day. I have a jar in my fridge right now. I'm putting some on my toast right fucking now! I have gone from the original CHeez Whiz to the light version, but otherwise I have eaten CHeez Whiz consistently since I am five years old. The funny thing is, I really only do two things with it (even though Kraft Canada alone has 128 recipes for it) - put it on toast and make nachos or nacho sauce with it. Yet those two things have sustained my use of CHeez Whiz for nearly 40 years. And when I was younger, it was only the toast thing because I don't think we even had tortilla chips and salsa then. Had you said salsa to someone in the 1970's they would have stared at you blankly. You kids today and all your fancy salsas don't know how good you have it. What I like about CHeez Whiz is the fine line it straddles between spread and sauce. So versatile! Interestingly, in the United States it's marketed more as a sauce while in Canada it's marketed like a spread. Look at the American jar versus the Canadian one.The American jar is designed for dipping something into it, while the Canadian jar requires a knife or other implement. Fascinating! I could discuss CHeez Whiz all day.

And CHeez Whiz has really shored up our defense. Talk about versatile.

Waiting in line to buy a jar - the aforementioned 1 PM start, on RDS and TSN Habs on Bell. Habs returning from the 2-5 road trip to the comforts of home. Thank goodness we won the last one, or the boo birds would have been out en masse. Thrash, after flirting with first place in the Southeast, are now in a slump too having lost 5 of their last 6, including their most recent one against the lowly (ha!) Devils. Atlanta shut us out 3-0 in our only meeting this year.

Not even sure they have CHeez Whiz in the American South - The Blueland Chronicle has a great irreverant take on the Thrash and their blog lives up to the blue name.

Hot like CHeez Whiz fresh from the microwave - CHeez Whiz! 2 goals in the Panthers win including the OT winner. The Mexican had 3 points in the state of Florida. Dusten Byfuglien is a point per game over his last 7.

Cold like the CHeez Whiz I keep in my fridge even though it could probably last 10 years in a cabinet considering the amount of "cheese" in there - CHicken pointless in 7, Tits pointless in 3, though I think he's playing a bit better lately. While I am leery to put TFS here considering he really got no help in most of his losses, we have to recognize his December numbers were all way down from October-November. For the Thrash, they have a bunch of pointless players and crappy goaltending lately.

Adding a Mexican flavour to the CHeez Whiz lineup - I don't even know where to start. Well, let's start with the fact we haven't even mentioned the Mad Max trade around here. Consider it mentioned. David Desharnais was tied for the most points in the AHL when he was called up on Friday, and should make his debut today, no doubt on the fourth line where CHokula puts all his best scorers. Iron man D Josh Gorges has been placed on IR to rehab his wonky knee, no word on for how long.

Post-game entertainment - sadly, my YouTube search for "babes wrestling in CHeez Whiz" came up empty. You'll have to settle for this vid of a cute (and thin) woman setting some sort of record scarfing down a Philly Cheesesteak, which may have been made with CHeez Whiz.

83 comments:

Moey said...

I too have a jar in my fridge. It's good on toast but it's a very tasty stuffed in a stalk of celery too! The American version pales in comparison, not the same taste at all.

I thought the game was on tonight, does the suckage continue or have we turned a corner?

moeman said...

Nicely processed preview 29.

Maybe Josh can spread some of the Cheeze Whiz on his wonky knee?

GYFCHeezWhizzedHG!

soperman said...

Cheez Whiz has a "lite" version? Will that add an extra couple of years to my clogged arteries?

(They probably double up on the salt.)

Number31 said...

GYFH!

Number31 said...

Heh. Wiz was playing Call of Duty with teammates when they told him he was traded. Wonder if it was through the game... "BOOM! You're traded."

iRiRi said...

Woke up just in time! *yawns* *stretCHes* What would have been so problematic with a 2PM start? I mean, I haven't even had coffee yet.

Anyways, back to the game. Great preview, Big Tits scratched, GYFHG and all that jazz...

@Moey - I choose to believe we've turned the corner only cause one of my NY resolutions was to be more positive.

HabsFan29 said...

ok, time for Saints-Bucs! er, Habs-Thrash!

iRiRi said...

Oops, nevermind about AK. Lego is scratched instead.

HabsFan29 said...

Bell crowd is nervous. or asleep still

HabsFan29 said...

CRAP

game over

iRiRi said...

FUCK. SCREW POSITIVITY.

Orangeman said...

I know this downward spiral isn't Price's fault, but it'd be nice if he could make a big save once in a while.

Orangeman said...

Oh god, they're going to get shut out again, aren't they? This will never end.

moeman said...

I want ice cream.

HabsFan29 said...

whistles in the pocket... for one team

moeman said...

Lovin' DoubleD's play.

Orangeman said...

I'm curious to see how much more interference, hooking, hitting from behind and roughing the Thrashers will be allowed to get away with.

HabsFan29 said...

Whiz Plexxe!!!!

iRiRi said...

PleXXXe! With a side of CHeez Whiz!

Orangeman said...

Gee, I leave the room for one minute and they score.

Moey said...

One thing about the Bell TSN feed, they're boring as hell but they don't seem to be biased. I'll take it anyday.

HabsFan29 said...

well now you can say we had a decent period

Orangeman said...

Well a good 1st period, which means Chocula will berate them for trying to score and they'll return to their timid 'defensive' crap and lose 3-1 (with maybe 14 more shots from centre and/or impossible angles for the game).

PROVE ME WRONG KIDS! PROVE ME WRONG!

Moey said...

@Oman,

Price does make the big saves after he lets in the token softy. He needs to work on that.

moeman said...

Super seXXXy goal by PleXXXe!

HabsFan29 said...

ok let's get a lead for a change. orangeman, please leave the room

HabsFan29 said...

CRAP that's a goal

Orangeman said...

@Moey: Still waiting for that big save.

moeman said...

ay yi yuck

iRiRi said...

Why the fuck do they seem to give EVERYBODY their first goal or point?!

Orangeman said...

@29: Well, I'm off to the store shortly, so maybe a big outburst of goals?

moeman said...

PFKaboom!

iRiRi said...

SUBBANG!!!

HabsFan29 said...

PFuckingK!!!!

Orangeman said...

PK on the PP!

iRiRi said...

Props to PatCHes for screening!

Hey, is the PP back to no. 1?

Moey said...

Enough dicking around, we need to win this game. Score another fucking goal please.

Oman,

There ya go.

HabsFan29 said...

this is turning into an entertaining game

HabsFan29 said...

so many CHances, so few goals

HabsFan29 said...

late period goal. kill me

iRiRi said...

15 seconds.........

Orangeman said...

Great, the first game in weeks that they look like they want to score, Carey brings his C game.

the Maritimer said...

How can they miss SO MANY opportunities? First game I've watched since before Christmas and they still look lost in the O-zone. Do they not know what to do when they get there? Fuck, they make every goalie look like an all-star.
Fucking CHokula.

iRiRi said...

I read somewhere that Habs are the only team in the league that haven't come back to win a game when trailing after the second. It's got to happen sometime! Please?

GYFHG!

HabsFan29 said...

Joel feels tension behind the Habs bench. wonder whose fault that is

moeman said...

Joel got leather Pants! for Xmas.

HabsFan29 said...

so many odd man rushes, so few goals

Orangeman said...

Wow, I just a Hab show emotion. He...he seemed to be upset at blowing a scoring chance. Oh, it was the new guy.

iRiRi said...

And cue RDS bringing up Lapierre...

SCORE ALREADY!

Orangeman said...

Wow, shots are 41-20. You should win games when you outshoot your opponent like that.

Orangeman said...

So apparently Weber is leading the Habs in TOI this game. Shoot me in the face.

HabsFan29 said...

HOW MANY FUCKING CHANCES????

moeman said...

Wow.

iRiRi said...

That was nice and all but... still no tying goal.

And if I have to hear "OH LE FILET ETAIT OUVERT!" again...

Orangeman said...

I kept saying that they needed to just throw it at the net and good things would happen. That's when I thought there was an iota of talent on this team. Sigh.

Moey said...

FFS!!!! I just screamed in frustration and woke up the cats. Sorry kitties....blame the Habs.

bea.habd.fan said...

just got home
good thing I cheked this website otherwisw I never wiuld have known about the PM game.
THANKS FHFers
now if only I could get to see a goal (too much to ask?)

moeman said...

GIO!!! with Whiz!

HabsFan29 said...

FINALLY. GIO!!!

Orangeman said...

I never doubted them.....

bea.habs.fan said...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

iRiRi said...

GIO!!!

*faints*

Orangeman said...

This Whiz kid is making the Goat look like a genius. And our Habs like winners.

iRiRi said...

FUCK YOU REFS.

Orangeman said...

That's intentional blindness on the ref's part. How can you miss that high stick? These fucking southern team and their favourtism....

HabsFan29 said...

another 2 on 1 epicFAIL

bea.habs.fan] said...

1 point
are we happy with at least 1?

HabsFan29 said...

16-17-16 shots. jebus

b said...

There is no third dimension when Chocula's troops enter the offensive zone. Lots of shots from the dead spots and passes straight across to covered guys following the slots in the board. This is ironic given the way the system works on clears, by using depth and back passes to create space. The only person who creates offense creatively is PK.

Orangeman said...

You have got to be kiddin me. The Thrashers get the PP?

HabsFan29 said...

thank you spatCHes

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK. and fuck the refs

Orangeman said...

Well, thanks refs for ignoring an obvious high stick and then giving the thrash a soft PP for the win. Should I send the card to Bettman?

iRiRi said...

Sigh.

moeman said...

Garbage win.

Orangeman said...

In the end, they've outshot their opponents 98-49 the last two games which is progress. The bad news they went to OT both times and lost once.

Orangeman said...

Oh good, The Swiss just scored. 341pm....ok, not too early to start the heavy drinking.

Anonymous said...

Fucking losing it!
Fuck the refs!
Fuck Buttman!
Fuck the Leafs 'cause they fucking suck!(intermision)
The habs make every goalie look like a fucking Vezina winner.
They fucking make a plywood look like a Vezina winner.
Fucking losing it!
49 shots and losing?

lawyergirl77 said...

Well... At least my grandpa's first game at the Bell Centre wasn't the 3-0 suckfest that I was worried about.

Yes, my expectations for this team are that low now.

iRiRi said...

Attention, everyone! CHeez Wiz on sale!

At least they tried. 50 shots is nothing to whine about. GYFHG!

HabsFan29 said...

CHeez Whiz is a value at any Price!

the Maritimer said...

Do you think they hear footsteps coming up behind them? By this time next week they should be looking up at the fucking Canes from ninth place.

Looking forward to the draft in June now. This bunch is going nowhere. Eighteen years of failure and counting. Never thought I'd see that long a drought in Stanley Cup winning in my lifetime.

Orangeman said...

Tix still available for tomorrow's US-CAN game! Since I'm here in the GTA-ish I was going to take my friend for his birthday, but it's 300$+ for a couple of tix. But still, tix are available for lawyers and other profressional types. Or, you know, I could go as a correspondant and charge it to FHF's expense account.