Monday, January 31, 2011

The Morning Skate gets back to work for Monday, January 31st

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of winning the Australian Open...
  • Well the farce is finally over with. Team Lidstrom beats Team Staal 11-10. Patrick Sharp was the MVP in a losing cause with 1 G 2A, even though Team Lidstrom had three players with 2 G each in a winning cause, so we're not sure what that's about. Carey Price made some saves and let in some goals. Somehow Nik Lidstrom was a +7; that's scary. The highlight was Ovie throwing his stick to give up a penalty shot. Or the highlight was the curling CBC showed instead of the player intros;
  • Jack Todd makes some sense this morning.
Let the second "half" begin.


Anonymous said...

I missed the game. So, what the hell happened with 'The Guardian Project'? There's oddly been no reporting on this! I just checked out "The Maple Leaf" on Pretty sure that leaf came directly from the ugly tree. Sweet Jeezus.

Anyway, just wondering if the super villain they were up against resembled an annoying loud mouth midgety New York lawyer.

L Dude said...

I just checked out the February schedule. 9 of 13 against lower ranked teams, plus the B's and Rags, CAps and Nucks. A stretch of 6 of 7 at home, with just a quick trip to Beantown thrown in. Les boys should rock this month. No worse than 8-4-1. That's only .653 hockey. Doable.


the Maritimer said...

If the Habs were ever involved in a game with a score like that, they'd be lugging Chokula out of the arena on a stretcher. He would be as pale as any vampire you ever saw.

Kmaxx said...

I touched on this in the last post but I haven't had a rant in a long time so here we go...WTF is wrong with the NHL? They have totally killed the All Star game to the point where actual hockey fans (I mean real hockey fans, not those fuckin' stupid assholes in the deep south who like to think they are "fans") no longer to bother. As far as I was concerned, I had last week off, as there was no hockey being played. I mean come on - a fucking draft to pick the teams? A bunch of rookies not playing in the game but showing off their skills so we can all get excited about not seeing them play in the all star game - Makes me fuckin' sick. And then there is the score - 11-10 - now that's a fuckin game isn't it?!1 In Gary fuckin' Bettman land it is. He wouldn't know a decent game of hockey if it came up and bit him in his fuckin' basketball sized ass! What a cocksucker! He has almost single handedly ruined the entire game and completely ruined the All Star Game. I can't wait to see what they dream up for next year...actually I can - and I won't ever watch another all star game again as long as they are determined to fuck with it like they have. Go back to East versus West, get the two finalist coaches to choose the teams leave the Fans out of the voting and let them bitch a bit over who wasn't selected - we'd have a hell of a better game in the end....end of rant...thanks!

I got nothing more for now - except a great big GYFMFHG!

Mr. natural said...

I PHucken' hate it when I agree with Jack Terd.


lawyergirl77 said...

@L Dude - the one intangible you forgot to consider in your analysis...

... the Habs tend to bring teh SUCK against lower ranked teams. Plus, some of those teams include teams that are much less sucky than they were in October.

I'm sadly not as confident. Would feel better if it was top ranked teams (aside from Philly) for the next few weeks.

Steve said...

Five Keys to the second half

1)Sexy Friday, its a mental game after all

2)GG11, we all know how important vizualiation is to Squid.

3)Steal Chocula's notebook, then the game plan he devised in 1997 will be lost, also his strategy for fucking up young hockey players can be put on Wikileaks.

4)Eat more KFC, as a sign of support for both Chicken and PFK. Imagine the headlines, KFC sales soar as FHF readers pig out for the playoffs.

5)Spend more time planning the parade cause anything is going to be more interesting than 17 games against trap specialists. Puck possession is an oxymoron and should be decriminalized at least. I see giant in a red and white Camaro convertible, with Oliva Munn strapped to the hood, Salma Hyak driving, and Big Tits on the megaphone saying "contract year"

Orangeman said...

I believe I pointed out with statistical proof at the end of last season that we only perceive the Habs do worse against non-plyoff teams. It's rare that a team would sweep the season series from all 7 non-playoff teams but when they lose we think they suck. Plus, not all non-playoff teams spend the whole season being terrible. Ottawa, NYI, NJ, TOR and the rest have all gone on streaks and someone's going to lose to them at that time. And that's my treatise on that subject.

As to LD's point about the schedule this month, I'd point out that the first 6 games are 3 sets of back-to-backers, two of which are in different cities. The other one includes two afternoon games that the Habs aren't used to playing.

And that's my expert analysis. TSN, I await your call.

Mr. natural said...

@LL77: completely agree with your assesment, but still better than having back to back games against the PHucktards and then having to play the Wings or other top teams.

While i'm at it... Mario Tremblay, what aPHucken' asshole. It's actually gotten to the point where I just flick the station when he speaks.

I have not forgotten my pledge to get something less damaging to the world's collective Karma that wishing a variety of fates worse than death on the PHucktards but this whole Voodoo curse thing I'm working on is a little more complicated than I first thought.

Will revert in a while.


Mr. natural said...

@orangie: LOL you on TSN, you would lose your shit and physically attack one (you pick) and then be arrested, leaving a legacy of youtube videos the rest of us could enjoy endlessly.

Go for it!

Steve said...

Ruminations on how fucking boring the regular season can be.

Solution, only have playoffs, all games are best of 7 series. The teams eliminated play for the better draft pick, Teams that suck forever like the leafs get moved to the AHL, top AHL teams move up to the NHL.

L Dude said...

8-4-1 (or better). It has been said and so it shall be, sayeth the dude. Analyis, schmanlysis.

Orangeman said...

LD: I agree that record is acheivable (if Squid comes back soon and the rest stay healthy), I just mean it won't be 'easy'. They had a similar situation in January and did well.

natural, I think I would take the Chevy Chase route: "Well Bob, you ignorant slut, I would have to disagree." Their ratings would double by the time I got to Duthie's mother.

What we should be discussing is wild trade demands. I still stand by my Rick Nash for anything they want in return offer.

L Dude said...

I agree O-man. I've just decided to rely on pure blind faith. Fuck everything else.

Does your anything for Rick Nash include PK and/or Price?

I would also love Nash on the Habs, but he is a less than point per game player over his career. So, the two I mentioned would be off limits, but yeah, certainly any other players, prospects or picks would be fine. Problem being the giant cap hit that would need to go back in return. Doubt they'd take Gomez.

Steve said...

O man, you sound like Brian Burka, Nash is soft, like Phill doughboy. PFK is easily the best player in the NHL 2014(if Syd remains beaned), and Price is priceless. Everyone else is trade bait, but lets start with the coach.

Orangeman said...

Name someone else who plays for Columbus. How about if we open it up to the last 5 years. Yet Nash has still put up those numbers. Of course PK and Price are off limits, your wife and kids are off limits in (most) transactions, right? As for Gomez and cap space, all I can say is there's alot of ice in Montreal in the winter, even on 15th floor balconies, and it's tragic that some people have...accidents...every year.

I'm not even being serious about it, I just get to see the guy every 4 years in the Olympics (or the world champs if I care to watch) and he always impresses. "Not even a point a game" would be "Hart Trophy Candidate" on the Habs at this point. We have to look at the Isles, Sens, Panthers, Devils and, ugh, leaf, to scavenge scorers, though.

HabsFan29 said...

if we need scorers from Ottawa, I'm sure Kovy is available

Orangeman said...

Oh, and forgot to mention, goodbye Jenn Heil. I'm a big fan of hers and I leave by repeating what I was screaming at the TV when she won silver in Vancouver:
If you saw it, you know what I'm talking about.

Steve said...

@O man, no room for Nash when we already have Malkin in the bag. The secret to success with Russians is to have a lot of them, so you can count on at least one showing up every two or three weeks.

Steve said...

@29 seriously why not take Kovy for the playoffs. He is enough of an an enigma wrapped in riddle packaged in a puzzle that he could defeat the Philthies if at that time, on that ice in this spring he decides to play.

Give up all the AHL players we got for little tits and Havlak, I would not give up Lego.

Mr. natural said...

Where do I start.

FHF Start a petition to get Orangie a job on TSN, seriouly priceless.

Rick Nash has less than a point x game but 23 are goals on a shit team that has scored 22 less GF than GA and he is a force.

I would take him anytime.

Russians! PLEWASE STOP! PHucken Kovy, the morons on RDS ran that one up the flagpole a week or two ago, I'll PHucken' shoot myself in the head live on Orangie's new spot on TSN, "The Square Corner"!?
(Square corner,Does that make any sense?

Moey said...

@Mr. Natural,

Ah, but the reuniting of the Pleks/Bit Tits/Kovy line could be a beautiful thing. Or not.

Moey said...

S/B BIG tits. I need an editor. *sigh*

Orangeman said...

natural: I'll keep "The Square Corner" in my back pocket, but I was thinking more "Shut the fuck up with Orangeman: PRIMETIME!"

I was just combing through stats and schedules and the like (what am I going to do, get a job? girlfriend? life? Shut the fuck up) and discovered the Lightning are on a 12 game home stand. They already played two, and will spend the entire month of February at home, save the last game. As far as I can tell that's the longest, tied with the mighty Oakland Seals in 75-76.


the Maritimer said...

Forget Kovy, he is finished. Too slow can't backcheck worth a fuck anymore. Chokula would have a serious meltdown.

@Steve, when Malkin arrives will Chocula still have the lasso and stopwatch ready?

L Dude said...

Guess I had my tongue inserted a tad far inside my cheek with the less than point per game comment. Sorry 'bout that.
Anyway, of course when we go back the past oh TEN years or so and see how we've been looking for that 'big winger', Nash IS the man for sure. Is Kovy the last guy to score 80 or more? Back in that year that he PLAYED? What would Nash do with Pleks and Cammy or Pleks and Tits or Pleks and Pouliot, etc?

And if it takes my wife and kids to get the deal done, I - er, excuse me for a sec..."HONEY, KIDS C'MERE. Great news. You're moving to Ohio. I'll visit that day the Habs come to town. Ciao."
Uh, where was I. Yeah. Git'er done as that redneck guy says.

And hey, you've probably seen the ads but don't forget to tune in right after O-man's TSN show to That's Hockey 2nite with Steve Kouleas with, get this, not a joke, analysts Matthew Barnaby and...(I know you hate those O-man) wait for kidding...Kerry Fraser.

Thank baby jesus it's on at midnight.

Orangeman said...

I love how my boredom/meth habit infused suggestion we go after Nash has been taken somewhat seriously/used as comment fodder. The front page even! You know we need a hockey game when...

LD: I have nothing against the ... when used properly like you and I have. It's the non-stop use like the writter is coming up with something profound. On a TSN hockey forum. It's like facebook people who put lol at the end of every comment. Going to work lol. Just took a shit lol. Man in Orange stabbing me in face lol. shut the fuck up.

Steve said...

@o man

When you face off with Geoff Molson for the top job, he is going to remind you about Jan 31 2011 and how reckless you were with your commentary.

And for gods sake have a better response than I was doing meth

L Dude said...

But Steve, he WAS doing meth. So it's OK.

Thank fuck hockey is back. Trying to talk about hockey is too fucking hard. Kudos to you that do it and do it well. Me more like AK46. Drop puck. Shoot puck. Score goal. Me happy.

But remember 8-4-1.

Mr. natural said...

@LD: Aw PHuck just tuning in Kerry PHraser

@ orangie: LOL but for real.

To FHF: seems like a good time for a post Christmas, mid-seasonish, all star break PANTSCAST.

WTF, as LD says Git'er done.

And if there is to be face stabbing (I myself prefer the more subtle face punching, just ask the woman who cut in front of me and Mrs. N at Ikea (PHucken' Ikea, if earth is heaven then Ikea is hell)then I vote it begin with Mario Shitface, sorry I mean Tremblay.


I'm getting a good feeling and it's not meth.

Orangeman said...