Saturday, January 17, 2009

D'oh! It's a Sens Game Preview and Open Thread

Your cycle slut of the month is Marge Simpson. Her turn-ons include thievery and liquor. Her turns-offs include underpants, pedestrians, and justice. Miss Simpson, I think I killed my pencil...

In honour / tribute / theft of our internet BFF and master of Simpsons references SLC of Five for Smiting, we're hitting the Simpsons quotes for your preview.

The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore - The action goes down at 7 PM at the arena in Kanata. It's on the CBC, let's just hope there's no Bob Cole involved. Habs have won both matchups this year. Sens are 22 points behind the Habs in the standings. I think that last happened in 1912. I'll stop with the mocking though, 'cause Sens have won two in a row and are showing signs of life. This game has trap written all over it.

I like my beer cold, my coffee hot, and my homosexuals flaming - Titty Titty Gang Bang has amassed 25 points over the last six games. Markov has a five-game point streak.

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah - Meh, everyone's playing pretty well I guess, no real Zombies.

Could God microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it? - Alfie, Heater, Spezza, yada yada. And the Sens are now riding the hot rookie goaltending of franchise saviour Brian Elliott over the two game win streak.

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold, and eaten - Brian Elliott's surge has come because Alex Auld is Alex Auld, and Martin Gerber was sent to the AHL for "conditioning".

Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie - But you can hurt half the Habs lineup. The list hasn't changed, though TFS is apparently itching to play and may yet make the ASG. The Sens are missing Volchenkov and Cody Bass.

The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding - for some post-game adult entertainment, please enjoy (or be totally freaked out by) this Simpson porn. It's amazing what's on the intertubes.

The sooner commentors talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word. Kidding!

50 comments:

gillis said...

You guys hear about the big mess on Long Island

Senators Lost Cojones said...

What do you think about THAT Mrs Doesn't Find Me Sexually Attractive Anymore?!? I just tripled my productivity!

Number31 said...

Oh the Islanders... I will feel sorry for Tavares if he ends up there.

HabsFan29 said...

@SLC - y

and I hsve a confession. the dunking bird typed this whole preview

cottoneye said...

My eyes! My eyes!
Oh god, why did I click on the Simpsons Porn link? Ewwwwwww

Habsfan10 said...

The goggles ... they do nothing!!!!

29, this preview is Frink-level genius. Glavin!

Rips it, scores! said...

That Simpsons porn site......

"My eyes!"....etc

HabsFan29 said...

Pierre and BB's matching pinstripes suits are freaking me out man

HabsFan29 said...

Renaud Lavoie talking english to Robert Lang is a Berlitz course gone wrong

HabsFan29 said...

bob cole. arrgghhhh

benoit brunet. arrgghhhh

what to do, what to do

Sonia said...

@HF29 - Hit the mute button & do your own play-by-play. It'll be a lot funnier.

HabsFan29 said...

night in night out, our best line is Greek Tender Max. I'm not sure what that says

perplexed in montreal said...

So I guess Chipchura is finished with the Habs.

Bryan said...

haha 29 i have the same problem. i won't watch CBC though when it's bob cole, no matter who is callin it on RDS

HabsFan29 said...

@perplexed - like Ryder, i think he slept with Carbo's sister

ooh nice save

woo!!! nice pass

moeman said...

The Habs loving crowd loved that! Kovy 1-0.

moeman said...

Ruutu does his best Despatie.

moeman said...

BTW, hopefully some of you got a glimpse of RIS/RDS' Valerie Sardin. Meow!

moeman said...

Ack.

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

breezer standing around watching

perplexed in montreal said...

Bouillon and Kovy let Winchester through. Kovy's lame poke check led to that goal.

moeman said...

Big Tits!

perplexed in montreal said...

Another beautiful pass by Lang.

HabsFan29 said...

tits tits tits!!

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - fuck,i missed this Valerie Sardin. im all over the google trying to find her, but all ive got is some possible facebook profile. now i have to watch RDS 24 hours a day til i see her

moeman said...

@hf29, Valerie (the facebook page looks legit) did a piece (with Breezer) on the Brossard facility. The kind of piece RDS/RIS likes to re-re-re-cycle. Hopefully often.

Beta169 said...

Wow HNIC, Mats Sundin looks quite a bit like Mike Keenan.

HabsFan29 said...

this second period is making me sleepy

until that plex breakaway. damn

moeman said...

3-1

HabsFan29 said...

bulldogs rule!!

Sonia said...

Dagger! And Stewie's first NHL point!

Flying Toaster said...

Dammit, i was hungry for chicken wings tonight and i invited my two brothers to eat at La Cage Aux Sports tonight, but they refused, even if i would have paid them lunch. Now i think i'll end up hating them even more.

gillis said...

Go Dogs Go!

Most exciting period I've seen in a while. The score would be 9-1 if Elliott wasn't such a beast.

So Gui! the Tender Bear is considered the best natural scorer and he has the best shot, according to Benoit fuckin Brunet. What's next? Let me guess: Best hitter? Best defensively? Best handjobs?

Bryan said...

lang will be first star

HabsFan29 said...

why is that not a penalty shot

perplexed in montreal said...

Dear Andrei Markov.

Your team is leading 3-1 in the 3rd.

Why do you pinch when you risk giving the other team a 3 on 1?

Sincerely yours,

perplexed,
Montreal QC

HabsFan29 said...

hopefully a one-goal game will WAKE THEM THE FUCK UP

HabsFan29 said...

that's some loud olé-ing for an opposing rink

HabsFan29 said...

ooo rookie goalie mistake on that. nice cadeaux

HabsFan29 said...

gift right back

perplexed in montreal said...

Caps just beat the Broons.

HabsFan29 said...

fuckity fuck

Flying Toaster said...

I totally saw that one coming. You could tell the Sens would even it up when they scored that 3rd goal. Come on, let's get that chicken-wing goal and put hte game away already!

perplexed in montreal said...

That should have been a penalty shot.

HabsFan29 said...

oh kovy that was lovely

HabsFan29 said...

MAX!!

Flying Toaster said...

Habs win! Lap dances for everybody!!!

Tom said...

That overtime was the worst five minutes of Habs hockey this season. Absolutely brutal. Thankfully, they were able to come back in the shootout.

Anonymous said...

I'm not picky so long as Lap dances for the shootout.

Flying Toaster said...

@ Tom - I admit their hockey was awful, but you have to give credit where credit's due, and Halak kept them in the game during the OT.