Tuesday, January 13, 2009

It's time to get fucking serious - Bruins Preview and Open Thread

Seriously, it's time to get fucking serious people. No more dicking around. Sure, Carbo's off to the All-Star game because of our record. Sure, the pundits claim we are one of the class teams of the East. But as the second half starts, it's time to see if we measure up against a really good team. The B's are a really good team? Fuck and yes. Tops in the East. One point back of San Jose for best in the league. Leading the league in goals against. Sure, they're coached by Claude Julien, but that hasn't stopped them. We said that the Capitals game was a test, but we got your real fucking mid-term exam right here [grabs crotch]. I'm fucking swearing a lot 'cause I've got the HF10 B's hatred building up. Let's fucking get to it, shall we?

Waiting in line details - 7 PM start at the Boston arena named for a Canadian bank. On Versus for the minuscule subset of the population that reads FHF, is American, and actually gets Versus. Habs are riding a ridiculous 9-1-1 streak while the B's have won 17 out of their last 20 (with a 10-game win streak thrown in there). Jeebus. So far this year, B's have won one regulation game (a crappy 6-1 effort in Boston), and the teams each have a skills comp win.

Pay your cover charge to - 4-1-0, 1.81, .938 in his last 5 games. Marc Savard and David Krecjijcjcji are both averaging more than a point per game, and are +29 and +25 respectively.

Skanky Bruins to watch - same note as the Habs.

Not dancing due to too many vodka Red Bulls - the list is the same as always for the Habs. Koivu is close, close, close, but no cigar. B's also have injury issues. Besides the usual (Sturm, Bergeron), leading scorer Phil Kessel is now on IR with the kissing disease. And it looks like Lucic may not play either, thus disappointing those looking for blood in the form of DOOM's revenge.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Ten's Show Club has a golf tournament. That's all I need for an endorsement.

Make sure you are fucking serious in the comments

68 comments:

Habsfan10 said...

Kessel is coming awfully close to earning the nickname "Sicknote". Seriously, mono? Is he a high school kid from 1987?

Lucic is awfully close to an angry gorilla on skates.

FUCK ME, I FUCKING HATE THE FUCKING BRUINS. FUCK.

Habsfan10 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Perplexed in Montreal said...

Do gorillas only fight animals that are smaller than them?

eyebleaf said...

Plexxx was on my fantasy bench last game, and he potted two goals, one shorty, of course.

Mother fucker.

hockeyzombie said...

Lets beat those fucking Broons. I hate them! Hate hate fucking hate them!

HATE!

HabsFan29 said...

there is some serious hate in these comments

Bruins blogs now have reports that Lucic was in on the morning skate and is a game-time decision. re-match! re-match!

Montréaliste1 said...

I'm fucking serious, we beat that team (minus Ryder) 8 times last year, numbers lie, we all know bruins still suck. Thoooooomaaaasssss. This clown could fucking work for the cirque du soleil. "Hasekian" my ass. I have a stupid stupid constitutionnal law class from 6 to 9 (thank god for free live stream+laptop!)

fezworth said...

Jesus. Good holy Jesus fuck. Fuck. Fuck. So wrong. So wrong. Save my eyes. My ears are on fire. I fucking hate the Bruins almost as much as I hate this.

Deliver us from Evil, Steve Jobs.

HabsFan4 said...

Wow Fez, I have never wanted a midget suicide bomber to crawl into my ears and detonate an explosion in the center of my eardrums more than I do now.

KML said...

To quote the great Henry Rollins "I hate a lot, but I hate with style and creativity". Except in this case.

Fuck them. I hope their bandwagon, closet white supremacist fans choke on their own shock when Ryder and Savard combine for two points in the first round of the playoffs while Thomas' Hrudey-esque beached whale act finally gets old.

Sonia said...

I found a really nice photo of Lucic, Kessel and Thornton

Limerick Dude said...

I gotta get in on the hate-fest.
Know what I hate. Milan Lucic.
I hate him because he wears that frackin' (BSG starts this week) "B" on his chest! Honestly would be awesome to have him in a Habs jersey. Fortunately the Habs picked Ben Maxwell one spot ahead of the Bruins taking Lucic. And what the fuck?! He's named after a fuckin' soccer team (that's football for our European readers)! pff, stupid.

Cowabunga!

fezworth said...

McKenzie on TSN.ca...

"What the deal might end up being is anybody's guess, but sources in Montreal say the actual offer the Canadiens have put on the table for Lecavalier does NOT include defenceman Mike Komisarek, nor is it likely to, but would see Tomas Plekanec, Chris Higgins, prospect P.K. Subban, Josh Gorges and a package of draft picks including more than one first-round pick going to Tampa."

This really fucking blows. Higgy, PeeKay, Gorges, TurtlePlek and MULTIPLE first rounders?? FUCK OFF. I hate that idea. No no no. This is almost as bad as Songsmith, and almost as bad as the Bruins. Do not want.

HabsFan29 said...

@Sonia - AAAUUUGGGHHHHH

@fez - no way Bob (our Bob) is that stupid. Fat Bob mack's "sources" gotta be Team990 callers

Perplexed in Montreal said...

I hate everything about the Bruins.

Their racist fans, their lunch-pail dig the puck out of the corners cro-magnon thug attitude, Don Cherry, Mike Milbury, PJ Stock, Terry O'Reilly, Ray Bourque finally bringing the Cup back to Beantown (it doesn't count pal, Patrick Roy won that cup for you), Lucic who only fights people 5 inches smaller than him, their game plan in the playoffs way back to try to injure Chelios. Goons. Stupid stupid goons.

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

Fuck the Habs. Bruins home broadcasters on Versus tonight.

See you bitches at the game.

Shutdown said...

Grr.. I hate the Broons.

Angryyy face.

By the way, Komisarek is an inch taller than Mulan.

Grrrr.

Habsfan10 said...

As much as I hate Lucic, I have to say, I never see him pull a Brad May and fight smaller guys. He's a bastard and I hate him, but he's a bastard who knows his weight class.

Still, FUCK THE BRUINS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

prairiegirlwarriorpoet said...

@fez - I would be very sad in my heart to see Gorgie go, turtlepleks too. I hope HF29 is right and The Bob is smarter than that. One man alone is not going to bring the cup to Montreal. Look what happened to the Pens, aren't they in 9th place right now? And didn't they NOT win the cup last year? Besides, the Habs really need a Sourayesque defenseman right now. I mean Breezer can't play for forever, can he?!

kevincrumbs said...

I'm stoked for this game, of course... although my comment doesn't reflect this.

I'm generally not worried too much about the Bruins outside of tonight. Even if they do end up as a top seed in the conference, I'm sure they'll choke away their first round series.

Also, the media likes to keep talking about former Habs coaches that we let go too early and are now super successful somewhere else. Fuck that shit. I don't rate Julien (who really looks like Alfred Hitchcock to me), Vigneault or Therrien at all.

Go Habs Go.

kevincrumbs said...

ALSO!

Greg from Puck Daddy is a doofus because he thinks we're all doofuses for not being excited about dealing away Pleks, Gorges, PK, Higgy and some picks for Vinny (and his cap killing contract.

Fuck this shit

moeman said...

Someone had to go and mention Henry 'Fucking' Rollins.

~~~

We are trouble makers, fucking Bruins haters.
We are the meth addicted, sports babe illustrated.

We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.

We are the bitch Cherry hated, Sinden infatuated.
Yeah, we're the pain they tasted, fell intoomanymenontheicetoxicated.

We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.

We are the self inflicted, mind blogginators.
Yeah. we're the ones infected, twisted Habinators.

We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
We are the Bruins haters, twisted Bruins haters.
... haters... haters... haters...

HabsFan29 said...

OH YEAH MOEMAN!!!!!

fuck im getting my hate on. i need some meth mixed with booze. that'll calm me down

Tom said...

Note to Habs fans: please try to stay off the streets if you win tonight. You need to have some unburnt cars left over for April.

Van Hab said...

Last april, shortly after Boston was eliminate from the playoffs, I was walking very drunkenly downtown when one of my (also drunk) friends pointed to a guy with massive shoulders and hunched back stuffed into a hideous, very expensive looking silkscreened t-shirt and said "That's Milan Lucic". I started walking over to him, my friend's "I don't think you should..." was drowned out by a car horn as I jaywalked across Granville Street, and told him I liked his style on the ice. He thanked me, then I identified myself as a Habs fan and smiled a shit-eating Guinness grin at him.

The look on his face after that is one I haven't seen since I watched Lord of the Rings, and as I walked away he shouted "Well the Flyers are gonna beat you guys anyway".

moeman said...

Life=Habs=Full Circle

~~~

Also, word verification = gangsta (I screengrabbed it you muthafuckas)

fezworth said...

@moeman - I think that you should run this through SongSmith and see what pops out.

@hf29, pgwp - Fuck I hope Bob isn't that fucking stupid, but this IS Montreal. Imagine it. The native son, coming home. Imagine Vinny playing with Kovy & [insert any old fucker here]. Don't think that Bob hasn't imagined it. Imagine getting to bring some young guy up (like Chips) and keep him here, because you've made room by getting rid of 10 skaters off the roster. Ugh. Imagine being under the pressure to bring a Cup home in the centennial year. Augh!

fezworth said...

@Van Hab: I bet that was fucking awesome, until we got killed by the Flyers.

moeman said...

@fez, I am a very happy Mac u$er and I hate Microsoft. So no SongSmith for me. Also, Bruins fans use Zunes.

fezworth said...

@moeman, not even after hearing this?

HF4, you may want to cover your ears. If you thought the other youtube video was bad...

moeman said...

@fez, good one, sounds like a Sam Adams-laden Bruins fan just before game 1 of a playoff series vs. our Habs.

Shutdown said...

fez.

my new favorite song.

ooooh yeaa. awwwwwwwwwwwwww. awww yeeeeaaaheeh. wooo hoo.

thanks.

HabsFan29 said...

alright let's get this fucking game started already! i'm fucking serious!!!

HabsFan29 said...

just the sight of Benoit on my screen has gotten me angrier

moeman said...

Brunet = kypreos. Lucky Cup ring, borderline NHLer, full of himself, all mouth.

HabsFan29 said...

let's hope the Habs take méchant mardi to heart

HabsFan29 said...

greatest defensive play by Breezer ever breaking up that 2 on 1

Bryan said...

what the fuck is with the RDS feed?

HabsFan29 said...

CHipsssss!!! fuck yeah

HabsFan29 said...

@Bryan - im watching RDS HD on videotron it's perfect

HabsFan29 said...

*well, perfect except for the presence of BB

Bryan said...

hmmm well it's choppy as hell in calgary for some reason

HabsFan29 said...

im getting the bad feeling of one of those wasted a decent first period games

HabsFan29 said...

carbo get off camera and you know, coach

perplexed in montreal said...

When did Tim Thomas become good?

moeman said...

AK!

HabsFan29 said...

finally some hard work pays off

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

Boo. Hiss.

HabsFan29 said...

some PP. fell this game slipping...

HabsFan29 said...

Thomas letting out his inner Hextall

perplexed in montreal said...

We should be ahead in this game.

perplexed in montreal said...

What? You can't check a guy in this league anymore?

perplexed in montreal said...

That wasn't even a penalty. It was a perfectly legal check.

HabsFan29 said...

oy

HabsFan29 said...

goddamn

moeman said...

vey

moeman said...

No bigger bandwagoners than Bs fans.

HabsFan29 said...

i dont know i think we deserve better

moeman said...

Tell that to the ref. Boarding? 5 minutes? Sure. Whatever. Fuck.

HabsFan29 said...

we just cant get anything going. cmon boys

atta way to yap, doom

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

seriously, we deserved better. good defensive shell by the Bs

moeman said...

Nailed.

Van Hab said...

Just got home from work in time to catch the last minute. Damn West Coast. What'd I miss? By the looks of the comments we didn't suck...

moeman said...

Way less than 60 minutes played by the Habs.

Bs go a ref break on the AK 5 minute 'boarding' penalty.

Let the Bruins think they are regular season champions at the half-way point. Its all they've got.

Van Hab said...

Who were the East Champs last year after 41 games again?....

perplexed in montreal said...

The pen against Breezer was also borderline.

On the other hand we were flat in the 3rd.

Remember last year when we knew we always had a chance to come back?

Pension Plan Puppets said...

As much as I hate Lucic, I have to say, I never see him pull a Brad May and fight smaller guys.

Well, to be fair, smaller guys also aren't stupid enough to try to fight that bear.

Who were the East Champs last year after 41 games again?....

Good point. Lots of hockey left.