Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Morning Skate for Wednesday, January 28

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of sexy vegetarians...


Van Hab said...

What would you say is the most literal French-English translation of "crosseur"? please discuss.

HabsFan29 said...

"dickish asshole wanker"

Van Hab said...

Thank you, 29. Someone els ehad suggested "dick beater", which I love for it's abruptness. However, for my purposes, I think describing the team as a bunch of "dickish asshole wankers" sums it up.

Now, are these a bunch of individuals who like to wank assholes that resemble dicks? do these asshole wankers themselves resemble dicks? Are these wankers also assholes who can behave a bit dickish?

These semantics sum up the identity of this team. In other words there is no clear identity, but whichever way you sum it up, it's a jumble of not-goodness.

It's a suckishness that has no clear parameters. they don't even suck well. See, the Islanders are a team that has perfected the art of sucking. Their fans can at least get together and bond over the clear and present evidence that their team sucks, their owner is eccentric, their arena is a shambles, and their team colours ugly.

The Habs make as much effort at winning as I'm doing on this post. Shows flashes of wit and insight but as a whole is just a garbled mess.

Ugh, fuck you Montreal. It's becoming very clear that you just. don't. care.

You don't need to win to be admired. your reputation precedes you and the hope and expectations put upon you have made you fat and rich and complacent. It doesn't even matter to you whether you win, you're still getting paid and fellated on every street corner.

I hate this team.

Van Hab said...

But the problem is I can't leave you. Not now, not ever. I fell in love with you when you were at your ugliest and now you've shown promise and it made me so happy. When you fail, you make me feel like I've failed. You make me feel like all the nights I've cursed you under my breath and patiently waited for you to mature and reach your potential have been in vain. I followed your progress every summer, counting the days till training camp and feeling encouraged by every small step forward.

The problem is this, my team: There are hundreds of thousands of people just like me who will do anything just to go watch you play, to hopefully catch a glimpse of the magic we've only heard about. there are children who idolize you and listen to their grandfathers tell stories of your mythical forefathers. To you, however, it is just a game. to each and every one of you, that locker room is the same as any of the 29 others in this league. You don't appreciate us liek we appreciate you and that makes me angry.

Yet when you win, I still jump for joy. Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe this is all just a waste of time.

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Unfortunately I have tickets to the Broons game on Sunday.

It could be painful.

The best I'm hoping for is that a bird craps on Julien as he leaves the Bell Ctr.

Or maybe since we're going to lose anyway, and he's going to miss more games injured, Laraque takes an instigator by going after the Looch.

fezworth said...

@Van Hab: You have just summed up my feelings towards the team nicely. I became a fan during the Houle Dark Years, and while it's heartbreaking to watch crap like that Tampa Game, I just can't stop.