Saturday, January 10, 2009

It's a mid-season test - Caps Game Preview and Open Thread

So tonight the Habs play their 41st game of the season. And the Habs are ostensibly hot, going 8-1-1 in their last 10. But seriously, who have we beat? The Laffs? Florida? Meh. Tonight we get a real test - the Capitals, winners of 12 of their last 14 and second in the Conference to the Broons. The only reason they aren't 13 of 14 is a hot Steve Mason last night. And they've already beaten us twice this year. So in honour of this test, Miss Behavin' up there has a little quiz of her own for your preview tonight. Skip the quiz? That's a paddlin'. Get an answer wrong? That's a paddlin'. Premature ejaculation during a paddlin'? You better believe that's a paddlin'.

1. The game tonight is:
A) At 7 PM
B) On CBC (Quebec only)
C) At the Phone Booth
D) All of the above

2.Japer's Rink is a fabulous Capitals blog with a reach far beyond D.C.:
A) True B) False

3. Which of the following are hot Habs to watch?
A) Big Tits
B) Lang
C) Breezer
D) That Breezer answer must be a typo

4. Rank the following players in terms of their expected return to the Habs lineup from soonest to latest: TFS, El Dandy, Koivu, BGL, Tangy, Higgy

5. Alexander Ovechkin gets the puck at his own blue line with 4 opponents in front of him and the rest of the Caps on a line change. How long does it take him to score? (show your work)

6. José Theodore is:
A) Hot
B) Really hot
C) Really, really hot
D) Kill me

7. Touching a dancer at Wanda's after the game will get you:
A) Kicked out by the bouncer
B) Kicked in the balls by the dancer
C) Arrested
D) A date (NHL players only)

Let's get your answers or hear all your hot teacher stories in the comments

90 comments:

gillis said...

1. D
2. Never read it before
3. D
4. Koivu, TFS, Higgy, BGL, El Dandy, Tangy
5. First, he passes the puck to Brisebois. Brisebois scores a la O'Byrne on a delayed penalty. Ovechkin gets credit for the goal becasuse he was the last to touch the puck. around 20 seconds.
6. D
7. I'm too young so A

J.T. said...

1.D
2.Will take 29's word for it and check it out.
3.D
4.Koivu, Higgy, TFS, BGL, El Dandy, TFS again, Koivu again and Tangy
5. If E=MC2, and the value of E=8, then ((71+51+68+28)/8)-41= 6 seconds
6.D
7.Too many variables to establish a finite conclusion

moeman said...

1. D, including BC & Alberta Habs fans!

- www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/

2. A (maybe get Obama to change the NHL playoff format, 1 thru 16 please!)

3. C cuz he has pictures of his ex-roommate Carbo.

4. Saku, BGL, TFS™, ElDorado, Higgs, PoonTang.

5. Ode to OV

The Cat is THE Cap
En Francais, tour du CHapeau
In Russia, gets 'tanked' veet Vodkov
Bonus points for reference.
Nice hat, nice legs, not so, nice jeans
Too drunk, but picture, spills da beans
He zigs, he zags, still with the puck
Halak sheets like monkey oh no, oh fuck
He spins, he dekes, like a superczar
Until DOOM lays him out, coming back from afar
Not this time, Mr. OV, no goal on the Hab
With your mama's contract you must now pay the tab


6. Once hot til that night in Paris.

7. Depends if you sport a roll of dimes or a roll of twoonies.

~~~

Sigmoe'd Story by moeman;

I once had a University Prof that looked just like Lesia Burlak from foodies.ca, right down to the cute little freckle at the tip of her v-necked blouse. ( www.foodies.ca/UserFiles/Image/Lesias_Bio/10390-Lesias_bio2.png ) Who knew sitting at the front of the class could be so enlightening. I didn't need it but Prof. Nina suggested some after hours tutoring. She was a strict disciplinarian and made sure I got straight A's. To this day my university brethren still wonder why I enjoyed Statistics so much. Here's some fun terminology (from those private lessons) that might explain why;

- random sample
- normal distribution
- Z score
- one-tailed test
- two-tailed test
- related measures

and of course . . .

- critical region

lawyergirl77 said...

OMG - moeman, I thought I was the only one who snickered like a 12-year old when they talked about the "critical region" in stats. Too funny!!

I don't have a hot teacher story, but does the fact that I wrote my last engineering exam (don't ask) in fuschia crayon and that instead of answering the last 3 questions (of 8) I just wrote an essay about why I would make a shitty engineer count as a good school story??

My answers:

1) C is the only right answer. The games never really start at 7:00, especially on Saturdays and no one should watch the CBC for hockey.

2) True

3) I refuse to answer C, so it must be B. I would answer Little Tits, but I will pass judgment after the next game vs. the Leafs.

4) J.T. has it bang on

5) However long it takes his shot from the blue line to make it to Halak who goes down early like the hos he used to bang in Hamilton. Bouillon tried to block the shot, but the shot was so hard that it disrupted his molecular structure and went right through him.

6) I choose death

7) In my case, free drinks from every guy in the bar for the rest of the night...

Van Hab said...

1. none of the above
2. does D.C. stand for duck cheese?
3. Breezer, my her(aneurysm)
4. None of them will ever make it out alive. while the team is on a road trip, they ill be training in brossard when the roof collapses on their training facility, forcing them to resort to cannibalism. When the rescue team finally arrives, they find a crazed, emaciated Dandenault who gets shot in the face (six times before finally dying).
5. 'bout two hours (see 7D)
6. has AIDS. he'll be dead in a week. it's the Propecia that's keeping him alive.
7. handjobs for everyone!

One time I had sex at school.
In math class.
with everyones watching.
with my teacher.
who was a horse.
Lots, and lots of mushrooms.

Fuck I'm hung over. who gets a keg for six people? ugh.

Habs better fucking win or I'mma pee on a small child next change I get.

Limerick Dude said...

1. Yes
2. Orange
3. 42
4. The answer IS the question!
5. 4 Years.
6. Bald
7. a trip to the ER.

Oh, Habs 4-3 in a shootout.

Anonymous said...

ok so I was on vacation when Tanguay got injured. I assumed it was a day-to-day injury and never bothered to look it up. But everybody ranked him as the last person to come back from injury, so obviously it is worse than day-to-day. Can somebody summarize what type of injury he has?

Number31 said...

1. What? CBC?
2. I'll have to ask the Germans.
3. 67
4. Koivu, TFS, Higgy trips on BGL and squishes Tangy, Dandy returns as a bullfighter
5. He gets checked by Kovalev while trying to enter the zone. Gets up angry and confused.
6. an expensive backup with great bottle hair
7. Jose Theodore

HabsFan29 said...

great job on your answers everyone. gold stars for all

anon - separated his shoulder getting hit against Tampa

to this day I still think about Miss Gould who I had for Political Science in Grade 9. wild auburn curly hair, great body, and really nice to boot. excuse me, gotta go dig up some old yearbooks...

CapsChick said...

Ooh, a quiz!! Do I get to play even though I'm on the enemy's side for this one? :D

1. D - although can we clarify that it's at the Canadian Phone Booth? I believe the exchange rate is 1 Verizon Center = 1.20 Bell Centres.

2. A+++++

3. D...seriously. It has to be. Right?

4. I say BGL makes a miraculous recovery at 6:32 pm, in time to tangle with Brash. TFS reinjures himself so he doesn't have to face Ovie. Then it's Koivu, Tangy, Higgy and El Dandy (because I can't think of anything funny-esque for them).

5. 8 / 4 Habs - 4 Caps + 163 pts for Ovie on the year * 76 goals for Ovie on the year = ...I think it might have already happened, actually. Math was never my strong subject.

6. E) Really really really hot ;)

7. Many years of severe therapy and probably a disease of some kind.

gillis said...

So has anybody told Semin that you're not supposed to slap? I hope Brashear gave him a few tips.

And somebody should tell those guys in Washington that we want our Expos back. But if they were to come back, would Youppi! get traded back to the Expos?

Look out for Gui! the Tender Bear

HabsFan29 said...

oh Cassie shut up

moeman said...

Cassie should take the FHFs game quiz. Methinks she'd fail.

moeman said...

Love seeing my Habs in the rouge jersey.

moeman said...

Note to the Bell Centre media folks, get rid of the 'are you ready'. Thanks in advance.

Also, Benoit Brunet, shut up.

moeman said...

Pierre Houde = Mr. Negativity

HabsFan29 said...

my god how many chances in close?

Number31 said...

Puck in pants!

Hmm... Halak has changed his style recently. Good to see him working more aggressively.

moeman said...

@hf29, you have Wanda's on the mind?

HabsFan29 said...

@moe - hehehe

CapsChick said...

So has anybody told Semin that you're not supposed to slap? I hope Brashear gave him a few tips.

Hey, go easy on Semin - fighting Staal is barely a step up from having a slap fight with someone's little sister. You can see how he'd be confused. ;)

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

moeman said...

fugly

gillis said...

YVON IS BACK!!! ON CBC!!!!!

moeman said...

PLEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

pleks!!!

moeman said...

Hey, Brunet, S T F U!

Number31 said...

SuperZombiePleky! The man makes a career off shorthanded goals.

Flying Toaster said...

What a nice goal to tie it up!

moeman said...

Bruce Boudreau = Pillsbury Doughboy.

moeman said...

I love Pax.

Flying Toaster said...

Heh, Big Tits just used a move i constantly do on NHL 09... Pass it to the boards and take back the rebound.

Flying Toaster said...

And i hate the refs

Shutdown said...

Pleks is the P.K. master.


Mad Pax is going to have a roster spot in the playoffs if he keeps playing this. Love it.

moeman said...

Titans gone from the NFL playoffs. Go Steelers!

Flying Toaster said...

Wow, what a boneheaded play. Did he try to give the puck to some kid in the stands or something? That was hilarious!

gillis said...

"P"le"K" King.

Pleky has been amazing so far tonight. I wish I could say the same about Kovy. He missed 2 wide open nets, set up by plek.

I've been watching the game on CBC with YVON!! He doesn't say much but when he does say something its... wow, i was going to say he says good things, but then I realized that the only thing I've heard him say so far is: "Plekanex as been playhing good since ee's been on line with Kovalef and Paciouretty"

Oh ya and my verification word is Ovesch... I think its trying to tell me something

GreenMeany said...

I like the comparison of Mad Max and carbo

moeman said...

OV thinking too soon about Chez Parée?

HabsFan29 said...

CODE RED - sexy curler Jennifer Jones on TSN

gillis said...

I decided to make my own coach's corner.

moeman said...

Oh to hear the pretty Jennifer Jones scream harder!, harder!

HabsFan29 said...

id like Jennifer to get the feel of my rocks

moeman said...

Jennifer could sweep me off my feet.

Doogie2K said...

This thread needs more Danica McKellar.

Also, D, A, A, 1-4-5-6-3-2, 12 seconds, D, D, and my third-year Russian prof was/is amazingly hot.

Flying Toaster said...

My french teacher last year was smoking hot, and always wore open shirts. She used to let me come to her office to work an extra few hours on my exams, found out she was a Metallica fan. Unfortunately had a boyfriend in the Canadian armed forces though, so no messing with that.

Flying Toaster said...

A real dagger in Dagger's heart that save was!

Flying Toaster said...

So... Is it just me or was Halak just standing there?

HabsFan29 said...

that was... not good

Anonymous said...

Can we put Breezer back in the trunk now?

moeman said...

Hey Carbo, how many lives does Breezer have now?

Flying Toaster said...

Semin is getting back at us for making fun of him by slapping a few pucks in.

moeman said...

tsn curling announcer guy says Jennifer likes a light touch. Gulp.

copyranter said...

my high school German teacher was one hotzen Fräulein...and we KNEW that Breezer gaff was coming one of these games...

moeman said...

Just realized Jennifer is playing a skins game.

Flying Toaster said...

The Habs poweplay SUCKED! I mean what the hell, it seemed so easy and they just stood around during the 4-3 and did nothing. Also, my codeword is Spine.... Heh, ironic!

gillis said...

What to do with Patrice Brisebois...

I thinks its time for Carbo to put the Mad Max line on the PP to wake everybody up.

HabsFan29 said...

k kids my social schedule is taking me out of the house. breezer sucks, go pants, be excellent to each other...

Flying Toaster said...

Come on guys, don't screw this up!

Don't ruing my ONE game a week i get to see!

Flying Toaster said...

GOAAAAAAAAAL!

moeman said...

Lang bangs one. 2-2.

kevincrumbs said...

FINALLY! GBL keeps up his furious pace!

Flying Toaster said...

w00000t! I'm happy to be alive again!

moeman said...

3-2 makes the teaCHer happy!

moeman said...

We all love the Tits!

kevincrumbs said...

Hahaha. I stopped by here to complain about how much the Habs were sucking with their utterly predictable shots that Johnson could see and they come out and score two to start the third. My negativity could carry this club to a Stanley Cup, even...

Flying Toaster said...

Please kill me now!

kevincrumbs said...

FUCK.

moeman said...

2nd fugly goal tonight.

Flying Toaster said...

I want to live! I want to liiiiive!

moeman said...

SUPERPlex!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Wow... non stop goals now. Pleks! Finally one that's not shorthanded!

Guillaume Theoret said...

Holy shit... here I am typing about hwo I want Carey back and -(Zombie)Pleks strikes again.. Go Habs!!!

kevincrumbs said...

What the fuck? Why start booing Ovie right now? Why boo Ovie, ever?

And why does Subway advertise with animated monkeys in Canada?

moeman said...

Arizona up 17-7.

Flying Toaster said...

@Kevincrumbs Because monkeys are awesome, and now i want a sandwich!

Also, you just boo the opposition's best player, it's a Montreal tradition.

Guillaume Theoret said...

I would never boo Ovie.. the man is an artist. If only more players had his talent and amazing dedication.

Flying Toaster said...

Somebody put sleeping pills in Halak's coffee this morning. Ugh!

kevincrumbs said...

Unlucky for the Habs and Jaro.

Flying Toaster said...

I always had a thing for Small Tits, but now it's official, i love them!

moeman said...

Small Tits rule!!!!!!!!!!!

Guillaume Theoret said...

FUCK YEAH LITTLE TITS!!!!!!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Don't blow this!

Flying Toaster said...

*Does the victory dance* This was definately an awesome game! Let's all cheer for Carbo, All-Star coach!

copyranter said...

I just scared the shit out of mt cat I screamed so loud...forgot I wasn't still at Madison Square Garden.

moeman said...

A game full of Tits, Semin and Le Super Plexe (the Montrealers will get that)!

HFF33 aka Panger said...

Got off a plane from MTL (sans luggage, fuck you Air Canada) and got home to watch the third. Jyust in time to see the Habs score 4 goals and win it with 20 seconds left.

I'm the anti-HF29.

Number31 said...

Be nice to Breezer. He got slashed on that Semin steal. The VanMoustache was also in his way. Yes, I'm defending Breezer. I bet it's snowing in Hell right now.

But tonight: SERGEI! SERGEI! SERGEI! And I'll be mighty sad if Patches goes back to Hamilton when the injured wingers return... I say he stays just because the KovyPleks line has kicked it into high gear since he joined them. Plus the brothers must stay with Lang. No more line juggling!

Will it be an awkward pairing to have Carbo as assistant coach to Julien at the ASG...? Things that make you go hmmmmmmm!

Meh. Sundin just scored. Yawn.

kevincrumbs said...

I think Patches will stay but Dagger seems to be on his way down. He missed tonight on yet another chance handed to him on a silver platter.

fezworth said...

Welcome back, 33. I hope you didn't bring any cold weather back with you.