Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Nobody wants to review that shit, so fuck it.

Pretty much sums it up. The Bruins (and possibly the refs?) fucked em.

Well, we either didn't see the game or we're too fucking pissed at losing to the Bruins to fucking review it. Don't worry, you black and gold wearing fuckers. You'll fucking get yours in the fucking playoffs. 

HF4- Hold it right there, HF10!

Before we ask the Bruins to collectively suffocate on the smell of their own farts, let's not forget how the Habs made Chara look like Charo for a couple of periods.

Let's not forget how Halak played one of his better games this season, square to the puck, round in the bum cheeks. 

Let's not forget how the power play is starting to look like the menace it has been for the last 2 years. Let's not forget that I would still welcome Vincent Lecavalier on this same power play with molasses all over my body. 

Let's not forget that Tomas Plekanec is starting to look like that slightly better than not too shabby center we saw last season. Let's not forget that we would ship his ass to Tampa for Vinny Lecavalier, Romanian container style (in return we would get one container holding Vinny and another containing the molasses).

Let's not forget that the Habs held Patrice Bergeron off the score sheet last night, which required a total team effort. 

Let's not forget that Harry Sinden will never be a member of the Montreal Canadiens and that no matter how well he plays for the team Marc Savard will be devising schemes to urinate in Sinden's ears for as long as he remains a Bruin.

Let's not forget that Benoit Brunet's laugh during broadcasts will soon land him the role of the Count on Sesame Street. "Quel but de Guillaume, son troisième but, trois buts, HA HA HA!" 


HabsFan29 said...


eyebleaf said...

I've got to admit, I enjoyed seeing Tim Thomas's take down of one of those Kostitsyn bitches.

hockeyzombie said...

Fuckin hate those Brroons.

I hate you too eyebleaf! Don't toss yer stones in glass houses.

Van Hab said...

Revisiting Lecavalier:
Has anyone given any thought to how having Vinny in Montreal might affect the attractiveness of the city to other players? Specifically, the way the team is now, there is no #1 bona-fide superstar, so everyone gets to share the spotlight. For example, how does a guy like Kovalev react to no longer being regarded as the most talented player on the team? How does Koivu feel about his leadership being marginalized by the Franco media, who will certainly start looking to pin the C on Lecavalier? This has been Koivu's team for so long, i feel bringing Lecavalier would force a huge shift in the identity of the team that might not suit many players.

Sorry if this makes sense. At work and all smartypantsy.

Raquel said...

That teddy bear appears to be trying to flip me off but failing...

Habsfan10 said...

Yeah, cut that smart stuff out. We're fucking busy fucking swearing about the fucking Bruins!

eyebleaf said...

My bad boys!

Sonia said...

@Van Hab - Smartypantsy or not, you're absolutely right about the effect Vinny's arrival will likely have on the team. Kovy will start holding on to the puck even longer, trying to stickhandle through the other team, his own team, the refs and all 21,273 fans in attendance. Meanwhile, that rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth Koivu-hating columnist Réjean Tremblay will start fabricating stories about how the two players don't get along, and about how Koivu supposedly hurt Vinny's feelings by NOT giving him his C, his stall, full credit for the Saku Koivu Foundation, and a weekend with his wife Hannah.

And Lil' Tits will start claiming that he really is French, just like Grabby said.

Oh, and I invite the Bruins and their fans to blow themselves, if they can find anything to blow, that is.

lawyergirl77 said...

Three cheers for Sonia!! That brought a tear to my eye... *sniff*

What she said, peeps. Lecavalier in Montreal would wind up being a disaster. I want no part of him and his ridonculous gajillion-year at a bazillion dollars-per-second contract. The impact on our salary cap alone scares me, to say nothing about his bum shoulder.

(My word verification is "likiti", which is causing uncontrollable giggles for no apparent reason... *sigh* pre-trial jitters.)

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

"Let's not forget that the Habs held Patrice Bergeron off the score sheet last night, which required a total team effort."

Way to go, habs. Other people kept off the scoresheet: Koivu, Sturm, Ference.

I'll hold sinden down if marc savard wants to pee in his ears.

Tim Thomas is 15 feet tall.

Hub Hockey said...

Chara can look like Charo everynight in my book if he puts two goals up each night... And Bergy did have a bunch of scoring chances but its hard to bury the puck from the IR...

But lets not forget that Guy will be the ASSISTANT coach of Cluade Julien at the All-Star Game... Lets not forget that no matter how hard you tried Carey Price will miss the ASG and Thomas will be the star goalie... Lets not forget that the Bruins beat your team for the 3rd straight game and own the Eastern Conference standings without bringing up anything from previous seasons...

Perplexed in Montreal said...

With all due respect ...

You people who say you don't want Vinnie in Montreal are out to lunch.

Sure, if the asking price is too high we shouldn't go for it, but he would be the first genuine superstar who is not a goalie to play here since Guy Lafleur.

His shoulder will be fine. It just hadn't had time to completely heal at the start of the season.

As far as how it would affect Kovy and Koivu - Vinnie will be a force in the NHL for another 8-10 years. Kovy and Koivu are probably gone at the end of the season.

Salary Cap - at 8M it isn't that huge a hit. At that price would you prefer Scott Gomez?

He is one of 6 or so skaters who can dominate a game right now (and apologies but that list excludes Corsby and Malkin right now). It took him 4 years to really come into his own (just like Yzerman or Lafleur) but he has turned into a real force.

Ask yourself this - how many goals will Martin St.Louis score if Vinnie leaves?

It's a no-brainer. I'd tell Tampa to just name any 4 players except Komo and Price.

If only we could have screwed them the way Dallas and San Jose did. But now the cat is out of the bag.

gillis said...

I thought Chara looked more like Charzard when he scored those two goals.

@Hub Hockey: I will bring up things from previous seasons. You mind? Good. Then:

Let's not forget that Montreal has psycho fans that are willing to vote for price 20 000 times. Let's not forget that Tim Thomas can't stay on his feet for more than 5 seconds. Let's not forget that the Habs beat the Bruins more than a dozen times in a row before this season. Lets not forget that the Habs finished first in the conference after the WHOLE season, not just half. Lets not forget that the Bruins can collapse, just like the mighty sens. Lets not forget that the habs beat the Broons in the playoffs last year. And last but not least, lets not forget that the habs will soon have five times as many stanley cups as the bruins.

Now fuck off will you with the lets not forgets.

gillis said...

Awww, Timmy! Come to mama

Sal Paradise said...

"...and Thomas will be the star goalie..."

Yeah.....about that:

Reality is Thomas will flounder about in his crease like a beached whale while the goal judge lights it up like it's a certain district in Amsterdam. These events will serve to burst little Timmy's bubble as he falls fast and hard back to mediocrity...a place he has called "home" for most of his career.

One can hope.

a philter said...

I'm pretty fucking sure I see a bit of a fucked up trend here, with the BFuckers.
Fuck that, fuck off, and go fuck yourself until next time.

Now start scrolling those list of injuries.

moeman said...

Réjean Tremblay can go fuck himself.

Chris Lee can go seriously fuck himself.

Aaron 'Louganis' Ward can go fuck himself.

Stan Jonathan can go fuck himself.

Donald S. Cherry can go fuck himself.

Jeremy Jacobs can go fuck himself.

Don Awrey looked fab in a Habs uni.

Patrick Traverse was meant to be a Bruin.

Number31 said...

My brother: "I think Ward has a higher save percentage than Thomas"

So ya. Frankly he's just got a big horseshoe up his mage. He's still the same Travelling Tim as last year, it's the other guys that have gotten better. But our guys should know by now to beat him just shoot the puck, have him play it, steal the puck and enter it in the empty net ;D Or shoot high.

At least Ryder didn't score.

Van Hab said...

"At Least Ryder didn't score"

Amen to that.

Kessel got mono from kissing Bergeron's pee-hole after Patrice said it was the only thing that made his head stop spinning.

P.S. My local team has sucked really hard since adding a certain overpriced, overhyped superstar. Makes me think of what might happen in Montreal... and Vancouver didn't have to give anything up!

Sean Swift said...

I honestly don't see how anyone can complain about the boarding penalty. It's the sort of thing that SHOULD be 5 minutes. I know it's not fun when the major is against us, but does someone seriously have to die of a head injury before crap like that is eliminated from the sport?

Besides that, you can't even blame the boarding call because the PK killed off the vast majority of it. If Roman "I am a giant bleeping liability" Hamrlik hadn't taken his 10498230th idiotic penalty of the season to make it a 5-on-3, the Habs would have killed off the whole thing and the momentum would have been back with us.

That said there were a LOT of positives against the Bruins.

- The first period was awesome. They had absolutely no answer for the Canadiens' speed and forechecking.

- Tim Thomas is an excellent goalie (underrated before this year, to be fair)...but he's not going to have that night every night.

- I think it's heartening that none of the Bruins goals were directly caused by hideous defensive mistakes, which may be the first time we can say that in quite a while. On the first one, the forwards were all covered and Chara had to gamble and pinch all the way in. If one of our guys had gotten a stick on it first, it's out of the zone and could be a 2-on-1 the other way. He just made a good play. The second goal was an unstoppable shot (the penalty was dumb again, though), and the third one was a 3-on-1 because it was late and Carbo had to push everyone forward looking for the tying goal. Other than that, the Bruins didn't have all that much...and shockingly, Breeze had a lot to do with that. Other than one giveaway, he was fantastic.

- I also think it's telling with regards to how talented the kids are when we think that was a bad performance from them. Half of them are too young to even vote here in the US, and if they're playing well enough overall for that to be a bad performance, we're kind of sitting pretty right now.

- Jaro Halak, while cardiac-inducing at times, has done an admirable job filling in for Price. This stretch of the year could have been ugly, but he's stepped up and kept us in games...that's all you can ask of the No. 2.

If the Habs can take this defensive strength and marry some discipline to it, the offense will take care of itself and games like this will become a lot more winnable. As long as they peak at the right time, I'm not too worried about them losing games like this. It's a learning experience.