Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Little People Can Do Big Things Playoff Preview: The Goalies

Unlike some others who would be better served keeping their big traps shut (with all due respect to the Habs best forward), we think Jose Theodore and his goaltending abliities are just fine. And we love midget goalies like him, Jaro and our namesake, Darren Pang - the King of The Midget Goalies.

Tomas Plekanec should shut the fuck up and leave the goaltending analysis to the pros.

Here we are.

The Starters:
Jose vs. Jaro
A.k.a. Theo / Jaro
Age 33 / 24
Height 5'1 / 5'11
Weight 181 / 174
Starts 43 / 43
Record 30-7-7 / 26-7-3
GAA/SV %/SO 2.81/.911/2 vs. 2.40/.924 /5
Career claim(s) to fame: 2002 Hart vs. Leading Slovakia to the Bronze medal game
Other claims to fame: Nailed Paris Hilton (allegedly) vs. Stole Carey Price's place (for shizzle)

Analysis, or what the hell are those numbers supposed to mean to me?: Listen up Tomas, I know you were just looking to support your goaltending teammates and are saying what allot of people are thinking, but the numbers don't back you up.

Obviously, Theo had way more offense to support his starts, but it's no accident he won his last 23 games or so. There is no more streaky goalie in the NHL today than Theo, and right now he's streaking like a drunken college freshmen.

And there are allot of similarities in Theo and Jaro's respective seasons. Almost everyone assumed, at least early in the season, that the curent backups would be the playoff starters for both teams. Theo and Jaso are both small goalies by today's ridicuolously collosal standards but play a pretty effective positional butterfly style. Both have the ability for otherworldly displays when hot. Halak has probably shown a little more consistencey from start to finish this season, but Theo has the edge in experience.

Advantage: no one. That's right Tomas, as good as Halak has been, Theo is no push over. Plus he's got plenty of motivation: prove his many critics wrong, get a new contract and beat his former team. Last offseason's family tragedy just adds fuel to his fire.

What's the difference, then? Halak will have to steal the series; Theo just need to make sure he doesn't gift wrap it.

The Backups:
Semyon vs. Carey
A.k.a. Simon? Big V? /TFS or Big Fat Whale
Age 21 / 22
Height 6'2 / 6'3
Weight 209 / 219
Starts 23 / 39
Record 15-4-6 / 13-20-5
GAA/SV %/SO 2.55/.909/2 vs. 2.77/.912 /0
Career claim(s) to fame: Saving the Caps from losing to the Rangers vs. WJC and AHL Champ

So what? Backups don't play in the playoffs anyway. Leaving aside that erroneous assumption for a moment, neither Theo or Halak have the leash that say, Roberto Luongo will be given. A couple of bad goals and a couple of losses and - guaranteed - there will be talk of going with the backup.

If that happens, it's a wash - except what is says about the series itself. Price has a little more experience and has had some good outing against Washington specifically. But Varlamov would not be much of a step down from Theo, if at all.

Which bring me back to why it's becoming a myth that you have to go with one goalie for the entire playoffs if you hope to win. It's changing. Detroit and Carolina have both proven you can go to your backup and still win.

And? Let's face it, by the time Halak gets pulled in favour of Price, it will probably already be too late for Price to be the Saviour. Chasing Theo, though, will probably result in Varlamov pulling a Ward again.

And just because we love him so much: here are the REAL Panger's career stats:

Height 5'5
Weight 155
NHL TOTALS 81GP 27W 35L 7T 0SO 4.05GAA, 8.891 Sv % (csareer high)

Greatest. Midget (sized). Goalie. Ever.

We know Thomas was wrong for what he did, and we'll now blame him if they lose. Comments?


Habsfan10 said...

I love that Panger refers to Tomas three times, then Thomas right at the end.

Ben Dugas said...

Jose's only 5"1. Awesome we just need to shoot over him then right? Why hasn't anyone brought this up before?

McPhee said...

Theo is NOT 5'1 but 5'11, jesus, you think anyone could play in the QJMHL while 5'1, let alone the AHL???

That was a tyop and nothing more. Panger meant 5'11. Man, give him SOME respect...

All the bad shit that happened to him now makes me sort of not completely dislike Theo as I used to.

He still sorta sucks, though.

lawyergirl77 said...

I had a post typed up that was all snarky, but I'll boil it down to one reason why I loathe Theo.

He stepped out on his wife with that skank Paris WHILE his wife/girlfriend/babymomma was sitting in a Neo-Natal ICU rocking their deathly sick child to sleep.

Saw her with tears streaming down her face (behind the mask she had to wear to avoid breathing on her kid) the day after the story broke.

No. Just no.

And, frankly, what Pleky said wasn't that incendiary. While I was pissed at him for potentially lighting a fire under Theo's ass, it's only in a joint like Montreal that this shit gets blown out of proportion.

Pump a hat trick past Theo's old, fat ass every night Pleks. For me.

moeman said...

Might be a bad omen but maybe replace the Olympics totem pole heads with Stanley Cups?

Also, what is a tyop?

Go you fucking Habs goalies!

RiRi said...

You tell 'em, LG77!

Personally, I don't mind a little trash talk. Go Pleks! But please don't turn into a little girl, Thomas.

Go Giant Mexican Chicken!
Go Squid!
Go Tits!
Go Habs!

wv: demeth - where is demeth you keep promising us?

Moey said...

Gonna watch some of the Sens/Pens game. I just had this feeling that we're getting creamed by the Caps, maybe that's a good thing 'cos normally I'm a glass half full type. Reverse psychology.

Oh, and go Sid!!!!!!!!!!!!!

moeman said...

@ReeRee, demeth is in deicecream.

ezzeloharr said...

Any chance we can get an open thread each night? I realize it's finals time, but...

HabsFan29 said...

@ezzol - hey look, there's hockey on! there's your open thread

HabsFan29 said...

*aka ezzEl

despite the tyops Panger that's good quality analysis. when did we become The Hockey News?

HabsFan29 said...

Brodeur is shaky. Damn why aren't we playing him?

Anonymous said...

It's pretty petty, but I'll admit it ... the downward spiral of Brodeur's career and skills is one of my favourite stories of this season.

That fucker just flat out annoys.

HFF33 aka Panger said...

Speaking of French-Canadien goalies stinking it up: Marc-Andre Fleury.

HabsFan29 said...

The Pensblog guys gotta be freaking out by now

Ronan said...

Dear Jacques Martin,

Please watch tonight's Pens-Sens game. Then watch it again. And again.


Habs Fans Everywhere

ezzeloharr said...

I was just worried Panger would be insulted if we actually talked about hockey on his post...

wv: habrat. For real.

Number31 said...

Speaking of little goalies... Ever see Bryan Francis? He's so tiny he looks photoshopped into reality. He makes Panger tall by 1 inch, actually.

Ronan said...

Man, it's upset-city tonight. Philly over NJ, Sens over Pens, Yotes leading Detroit (oh come on, standings aside, who would call the Red Wings the underdogs?), Avalanche leading the Sharks (let the choke begin!).

WV: 'macked'. Ovie will have macked so many chicks in Montreal that he'll have no energy to play us.

Anonymous said...

Is Theo shitting out the Habs goalie in above picture

Anonymous said...

HabsFan29 said...

The Pensblog guys gotta be freaking out by now

Guys at Pensblog are a bunch of douches.