Well if you can believe it, the Habs could clinch a playoff berth as early as about 9:30 PM this evening, and Jaro will be in the arms of a hot babe by midnight. If you believe all that could happen, I'm impressed. I'll stick with my negativity, thanks much. It's worked so well for me in the past. For the true believers, let's review the possible scenarios any of which would result in an "x" next to the Habs in the standings tomorrow morning (lap dance to HIO for doing the work we're too lazy to do):
1. Habs win + Rangers regulation loss
2. Habs win + Flyers regulation loss
3. Habs win + Flyers OT/SO loss + Rangers OT/SO loss
4. Habs OT/SO loss + Flyers regulation loss + Rangers regulation loss
Hey, one of those almost seems possible! I may be positive. Just for one day. Bring on the 6-0 loss! Wait, what?
OK I've really told you all you need to know, everything else is just filler bullshit. So let me just bullshit some filler for you. 7 PM start in Nassau County. Isles actually playing decent, 6-3-1 in their last 10. Habs have swept the 3 games so far this season. The Isles were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention with the Bs single point last night. I read that last fact over at Lighthouse Hockey.
Jaro! Jaro! Jaro! 144 minutes without a goal, and starting as per François Gagnon. 'nuff said. I don't think anyone else on the Habs could really be described as "hot" per se.
The Isles, on the other hand, have much heat. Tavares 13 points in his last 9 games. Blake Comeau has multiple points in 3 straight games, and Marty Biron is 6-0-2 in his last 8 starts. Someone should fact-check that last one. It can't be right.
Oh, Squid, wherefore art thoust scoring touch? Still no goal since his return, and pointless in 3. CHicken pointless in 4. Markov pointless in 4. Hamr pointless in 5. All of that is likely related to the fact that the Habs are 2 for their last 25 power plays. Blech.
For your post-game adult entertainment, Porn Celebration (very NSFW) would seem like a logical choice if the Habs win and clinch. If they lose, skip the porn and go straight to the self-flagellation.
OK let's do this. And please let the game be out of reach by 9 PM when Lost starts.