Helo to everyonebady! It's me again, Jaro. I so hapy to see you again, but for now, I want to talke to my gret and very nice friend, Alexendre Olivechkin.
Alex, last week, after my Cenedien teem play game number 2 and lose, I was taking spa in lacker room with bubles and eulicalitucus oil for good smell to water and I watch jurnalist media press conference that Olivechkin say to media journal peeple. And Alex, he talke about me!!! Si I listen to it on iphone with my slinbbox pleyer on iphone that help me to control my digital rsvpr box at home and watch my tv on my iphone and sell more itunas. Itunas is gret beesiness.
So I pleying with my bubles and I hear Olivechkin sey. "Ya, I see Jaro and he drink water after gols we scrore to behind his net and his hand was shaking, so we think Jaro is very scare".
Olivechkin. I have this to sey to you, my friend.
There is nathing cooler than shake. Its all about the to shake.
My favorit music is the shakedancing from when we were litel children in Bratislava. My mather would tell to us, "hey kids, go make maney on the streets for to us and dance for femily!" So we bot a gret record by Herbi Handcock. My brather think this was audio tutorial for learn to mastourb but he put record on pleyer and we here this fentestic shake dance beets! We make such good shake dence and meke gret many that summer of 84 in Bratislava! Oh, Handcock!
Of course the shake music is so good. Olivechkin that you have to be looser to not love the best song in world today, with gret inspiration words: "My milkshake bring the boys to yard and the boys like they better than your and the boys like they beter then yours, my milkshake it bring the girls to..." Oh, milkshake song! Best song to sing at karayokidoki while I pley my sakudoku. Even gret Peter Gabriel have Shaking the Tree. Thank gad I buy tickets for thursday concert in Mentreal and not tomorrow becase then I cant play game 7! Ouf! So lacky!
But gret shaking not end there, Mr. Olivechkin. There is more to shake, you fat mammal.
Gret shaking movies, like most smart and teling movie in a post-war era involoving countries that tear by difficult conflict that doucimates the econamic leyer of these fragile societies. Yes, Shake Hands with the Devil, the Martoun Bradeur and Romeo and Juliette Dallaire stori is good to make me cry all the time i watch everytime.
But no, Mr. Mister so taf and macho Olivechkin, you no show your teers becase you so man.
Shaking is the best. Even peeple that shake sametime are gret peeple like my amazing frend Andrei Kastoutsin who sametime shake in the bum becase of his poopilepsie. We go out for drinks with his brather Sergei and the friend Pasquale and Andrei tell me "Oh, no Jaro, my but hurt so mach I have to go to toilet!" And he run to toilet and me and Sergei and Don Pasquale (he want me to call him Don, but he name not Donald!!! So funy!! Ok ok Don, call me Bob Jaro - Bob Jaro and Don Pasquale friends for the life!!!). So, ya, Andrei run to toilet for bum poop, so I sey to the boys, look Andrei and his poopilepsie again! And we all laf hard and Sergei give Don Pasquale litel envelope wth Cenedien logo on it and number of his bank acount.
Shaking make love amazing fentestic Alex. But you not know this.
My blond byeautiful girlfrend who sey bye to Cari during Oulympics tel me to be in bed with her becase she love when I make bed shake so mach. She sey Cari never make bed shake like this, only Jaro do this. My girlfriend sey that one time, Cari try to fool her becase she was upset bed dont shake enough and Cari took her to motel and he said bed would shake and he asked her to close eyes and so she only close one and she see Cari put coin in machine next to bed. Cari only know to make machine robot shake love!!! Me Jaro, my bed shake man made love shake!
You know wat I eat yesterdey before game Alex when I make 32 saves on you? I eat chicken, shake and bake chicken. You know what my favorite temprature is Alex Olivechkin? Earthquake temprature. I want to build my house on san andrea fault, but I sad for san andreas becase poor san andreas, its not his fault! I speek to Mike Richter about this, but he hang up on my face.
Alex Olivechkin, hear me now. I can tell you all this but it not matter. The most important shake in my life will happen in 36 hours, when I shake your hand at centre ice. You will see how my hand shake then. Too bad for your game yesterdey. Try to shake it off.