Saturday, April 10, 2010

The whole season is down to one fucking game - Leafs preview and open thread

It's been one hell of a season... of Photoshops. Be sure to click on the pic for the full retrospective. On behalf of all the FHF, I want to take this opportunity to thank GG11 for all her work this season. You readers probably don't know how much she has gone above and beyond the call of duty. And her creations have raised this blog to the next level. Your check is in the mail GG.

Well, it's been quite a ride, hasn't it? 81 games of up and down and down and down and up and down and maybe a little up and then really fucking down again. And what does it all come down to? One stupid fucking game against the stupid fucking Leafs who would like nothing better than to see a repeat of the 2007 scenario. Of course, for that to happen, Philly will also need to lose in OT / SO tomorrow, but seriously, anything's possible. Habs are still 97.7% to make the playoffs. But fuck, that 2.3% is killing us.

After winning two games last weekend things looked pretty rosy didn't they? And now look at us. Well that's the season in a nutshell. There have been times where we've said "hey, this team is alright. When _____ comes back from injury, we'll be awesome!" And there are other times (like yesterday) when we've said "blow up the fucking team. Fire everyone. Trade everyone but Gio. We suck." We use the phrase "roller coaster ride from hell" a little too often around here, but this season, no metaphor has been more apt.

And now it's down to one game. Against the hated Leafs. Kill me. Look, you guys are nervous enough without me babbling on about a lot of bullshit about who's hot (Gio, Urologist) and who's cold (Squid, CHicken, Markov most notably). Let me just say the game is at 7 PM and it's on CBC (obvs) and Jaro is starting. Now let the teeth-gnashing, venting, ranting, nervous alcohol and meth-intaking, and group therapy begin. We can do this. For the love of god, we can do this.

Hopefully not for the last time, Go you fucking Pants.

203 comments:

1 – 200 of 203   Newer›   Newest»
Number31 said...

Do we got a 300 speech? Who do we kick down the hole? Wilson? Phaneuf? Kessel? Munster?

GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO! This is game seven-y. How many police cars will burn tonight?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@FHF
Fun every single day. Thanks.

Now get that fucking point so I don't have to go back to being a full time attentive parent!!!!

moeman said...

Habs come together!

Beatles' version, live.

The pucks says; Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me!

Here come old JM flattop. He come coaCHin' up slowly.
He got CotU blue balls. He's one hole-y line roller.
He got hair down like PeeWee.
Can't be a CHoker, just win the fucking game please!

The pucks says; Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me!

He wear no suits fine, his ties are fucking mental.
He's got no Sticky Fingers, he doesn't shoot like McSploogeola.
He say "I know Blue, Blue know me"
One thing he can tell you is he lost many to TMLSE .
Habs come together, win now or blame Bob Gainey.

The pucks says; Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me!

Bob bought production, he got Giant Mexican CHicken.
He's got Squid! onboard cuz he got spinal character.
HMCSGill's got huge feet down below his slow knees.
Spacek'll hold you in his arms, can you feel he's diseased?
Habs come together, win now, Québecois Urologist on PP.

Season's a roller-coaster, 'WE' got early warning.
Vodkov saw Doctor Mulder, team's mojo went off kilter.
'WE' say, "He'll be back and carry our team!"
Gorges' helmet, not so good looking, in his cap TFS™ is hard to see.
Habs come together, win now or Jaro's agent tweets.

The pucks says; Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me!

Ow! Win now!

[solo, what?!, fuck that solo shit!, play as a fucking team!]

Habs come together!

FHFers come together!

Pants! come together!


Beat the fucking leaf. Beat, the fucking leaf. Beat, the, fucking, leaf.

[don't repeat solo, play together, until the game ends]


G O
Y O U
F U C K I N G
H A B S !!!

kevincrumbs said...

Guys, I dreamt about Nazem Kadri last night. This is a bad sign, right? Somehow, I'm more embarrassed to type that here than to talk about scat porn (again).

moeman said...

Another fantHABulous pic GG.

Thanks to all the FHFs for the game day threads!!!

WV = evili, as in I believe evilibeleaf will pay us a visit.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Let's pray them come together. Well done and thanks.

HabsFan29 said...

thx for choosing my request moe! goes without saying it kills. and damn i love Lennon in the army shirt

HabsFan29 said...

p.s. NTTAWWT

Orangeman said...

I haven't this hyed for a hockey game since the Olympics. It feels good? Just trying to stay positive.

I'm confined to my room this weekend due to my never-ending stomach virus. Thus, I calculated the following stats:

-Even if they win tonight it'll be the lowest points total since 2003 (77). To think, they can finish 6th with 89 points. In case you're wondering, they finished 8th as well as 7th twice with 93 pts in 2009, 2006 and 2005 respectively. In 2007 they missed the playoffs completely with 90 pts. The East sucks hard this year.

-Unless they score 29 goals tonight this is the least amount of GF since 2004. On the positive side, this is their best defensive year since 2004 unless they give up more than 3 goals. It really could go either way with these teams.

-Although we like to pretend that the Habs play up or down to the level of their opposition, the reality is that they're (by my medication induced calculations):

19-11-4 vs non-playoff teams.
10-18-5 vs playoff bound teams.
10-4 vs PHI, BOS and NYR.

-15/39 wins thus far have come via the shootout or OT.

-If they do make the playoffs, their record vs their possible opposition is;
WAS: 2-1-1
NJ:1-2-1
BUF:2-3-1
PIT:1-3

-Record against the Leafs:
2-1-2 (both wins coming via OT or SO back in October).

Won't be sleeping tonight.

Moey said...

Outstanding moe! Hopefully you won't have to parody "Yesterday" tomorrow morning.

This is all Kovalev's fault. Fucker.

For the love of Christ and all things holy, for the ghosts of players past, for your long suffering fans, for our collective hatred of all things leaf, just win this fucking game!

WV - trantram (I kid you not)

Orangeman said...

Again, I've been confined to my room alone and bored for 24+ hours now. So apologies to Moeman, the dedicated men in blue, everyone here and my parents for this:

Fuck the Maple Leafs
aka "Fuck the Police"
by: NWA/FHF

Right about now, FHF court is in full effect
Orangeman presiding in the case of FHF versus the Toronto Maple Leafs
Prosecuting attorneys are HF4, HF10 and HF mothafuckin’ 29.
Order, order, order. Panger take the mothafuckin’ stand
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth
And nothing but the truth so help your bleu blanc et rouge ass?

Why don’t you tell everybody what you fuckin’ gotta say?

Fuck the Maple Leafs.
Coming straight from Montreal, downtown
Think we got it bad cause we’re 1 point down
And not clinCHed yet, you assholes think
You have the authority to deny us our Glory

Fuck that shit, cuz we ain’t the ones
Sitting punk motherfucker in last except for one
To be laughin’ at us and thinkin’ you’ll prevail
We’ll see who’s laughing when you fuck up and fail.

Fuckin’ with us cuz we’ve got the pressure
You put in net your precious Quebecer
Searching our souls, holding back our game misconducts
Think all us Habs fans will see them fuck up.

You’d rather re-live 2007
Then us and the Caps go to game 7
Beat the Maple Leafs in every shape
And when they’re finished, Burke won’t escape
The humiliation of another season of laughter
Your team ain’t gonna live happily eva after.

I don’t know if they do it on purpose or what
But that team stinks like an incontinent butt
And on the other hand, their fans put up with it
When any smart sport fan would fuck this shit
Cuz they suck each year, never on top
Fans at the ACC showing it won’t eva stop

Pleky will swarm
On any mothafucka in a blue uniform
Just cause he’s from Czech, punk Leafs are so upset
The Habs are on the warpath
And when they’re finished, it’s gonna be a bloodbath
Of Leafs, falling in MTL
Yo FHF, I got something to say.

Fuck the Maple Leafs.
Fuck the Maple Leafs.
Fuck the Maple Leafs.
Fuck the Maple Leafs.

Wika-wkia-wikia-wik

/gun shots

HabsFan29 said...

that's really solid work orangeman. that's the type of stuff you should get when reading a blog dedicated to the Habs or something

wait, what?

HabsFan29 said...

my last comment orangmean was about your stats work but your parody work is worth a +100 Miles and Runnin'

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Orange
I think you should use that for curriculum night next year. If they lose to the leafs we may all have a throwing up problem later tonight.

sleza said...

awesome pic :)
though, seeing kazan jersey with "K" and not seeing morozov's face kinda confused me...

moeman said...

Very well done O-man.

~~~

Thnx kidz. Perused many a Beatles' song and decided 'WE' all needed a little orgy-ish come together,
behind our team, just like 'WE' have done 97.7% of this hockey season. Leave your keys in the bowl.

Sadly, gut wrenCHingly so, I agreed a month ago to take my nephew to see 'his' Sens.
I'm not driving so I'll pop back a few pops and keep the iPhone WiFi'd to the FHF!

Go you fucking Habs!

Orangeman said...

I grew up as a Habs fan, listening to NWA and calculating random stats in suburban Ontario.

Now I live in Asia and stay home on Saturday night because my tummy hurts.

All I have to say is thank god for the internet, and thank Jebus for this blog.

Now to catch 4 hours of 'sleep' before watching this game...legally...on the internet....in a legal manner.

*cough*

And so forth.

Orangeman said...

I'm very sorry. When I'm sick I tend to resort to 80s hair metal. It's my chicken soup. I think Moeman already parodied this song, and even if not I'm totally treading on his territory. My only excuse is the 6 kinds of meds I'm on and the fact that this might be our last game together. sniffle.

Livin' on Lousy Players
aka: Livin' on a Prayer

Once every season,
Always in April

FHF work hard on a blog
Habs lost some games
They’re down on coach Jacques…its tough, so tough.
GG11 works the photoshop all day
Working for her Jew, she brings us the funny
For Habs- foooor Habs.

Moey says we’ve gotta hold on to the 8th place spot
Cause it makes a huge difference
If they make it or not
We’ve got this blog, and that’s a lot
Four Habs Fans – give us pics that are hot!

Whooah, we’re one point from there
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!
Feel my pulse, if we don’t make it I swear….
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!

Moeman sits on his sofa in shock
Now he’s staring blankly, confused
By the suckage- they suck, they really do suck.
LG77 dreams of running away
But she’s stuck in the stands
L Dude whispers, LG its ok; Rangers will lose Sunday.

We’ve gotta hold on to the 8th place spot
Cause it makes a huge difference
If they make it or not
We’ve got this blog, and that’s a lot
Four Habs Fans – give us pics that are hot!

Whooah, we’re one point from there
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!
Feel my pulse, if we don’t make it I swear….
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!

Livin’ on lousy plaaaaayyyyerrrrrs!

We’ve gotta hold on to the 8th place spot
You live for a point, when it’s all that they’ve got!

Whooah, we’re one point from there
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!
Feel my pulse, if we don’t make it I swear….
WOO-OOH! Livin’ on lousy players!

/FHF boys in spandex

Robbie said...

Following this blog was truly a blast. Very much enjoyed the rants, the comedy, the commentary and the commentators. The girls (oh the girls) the editorials, and especially GG's photo brilliance and Moeman's songs. You guys (FHF) have done a great job developing and nurturing (bet you never thought you would here that word here) this blog. Well done gentlemen.

Unfortunately regardless of the outcome of tonight's game this team is going nowhere. I'm not offering any answers or solutions its beyond my expertise. The day we the fans stop accepting the past as a free pass for the present the owners and the organization will be forced to take steps to ensure our loyalty. The last 17 years have been a disaster.

Number31 said...

Oh also, fuck you Whalercanes. Go get harpooned on someone elses playoff hopes. WHO THE FUCK LETS 3 SHORT HANDED GOALS ON ONE FUCKING PENALTY!?

I'll gladly donate eyebrows to Eric Staaaaal if he can throw a hattrick right now. (No I won't, but it's the thought that counts right)?

GO HABS GO

GoldenGirl11 said...

Well said Robbie.

Orangeman said...

Hey remember kids, no matter what the Habs do there is a chance that the Bruins will miss the playoffs. That should keep you warm inside.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Orange
Hilarious! Who's my Jew, though? I will laugh at that for a week I'm sure! +2 extra strength Tylenol with Codine!

Kmaxx said...

Honest to God - Midnight in the UK won't get here soon enough. As much as I'm dreading it, I can't wait for it to start. No predictions. All I will say is that if the Habs can get at least 10 shots a period a) I'll shit myself and b)they will probably win. If they can't get themselves pumped for this game then something is seriously fucked up at the Bell.

Go You Fuckin' Habs Go!

moeman said...

Good stuff O-man.

No disrespect to the FHF boys but I'd rather see the FHFemmes in spandex.

gillis said...

We are almost at the centre of the death spiral.

ezzeloharr said...

@moeman: Yes. Please. No FHF men in spandex. Spare me.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@gillis
I'm starting to think that you're a philosophy student.

@Kmaxx
Glad you got over I'm done for this season. Someone wake me when we draft another midget fuckin' European centre and a 7 ft. defenseman who can't skate!

L Dude said...

I'll not reminisce about the year, because we still have playoffs to deal with.

I WILL agree with 31 about the fucking Whalercanes. 3 fucking short handed goals against on one 2 minute power play. How the fuck does that happen?
At least they seem to be fighting back and killed off an early penalty in the 3rd.
Habs - just fucking win tonight.

And apparently there's some golf tournament and a kid named Tiger is playing in it.

L Dude said...

And the Canes killed off another PP. So I just heard Floatalev is out for 3 to 4 months. What will Ottawa do now...

Cowboyatheart said...

I don't know if it was on purpose, or just the way the season's been going against the leafs. But having the ambulance entrance so prominent is kinda eerie.

TheIronLung said...

We're fine.

Howard said...

@gg11 your collage today is brilliant! A culmination of the whole season and all the characters we've revered and reviled (that's YOU McSplooge!) Go HABS!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Howard
Thanks. Too bad they more exciting in Photoshop than real life.

L Dude said...

Well, the fucking Bruins are in.

ezzeloharr said...

@L Dude: Yup, WhalerCanes couldn't pull it off... Oh well.

Jaybird said...

I don't even feel like cheering. Just get the win so we can suffer through 5 playoff game blowouts.

Jacques Martin was reportedly pumped about tonight. He stood up and sat down without saying a word earler today its the most he's reportedly moved all month. Muller walked him through the process.

RiRi said...

You're on your own now, Habs.

That Photoshop brought back so many good memories. My personal favourites are iTunas, the Czech sausage and Giant Mexican [anything]. Thanks for the pics, GG!

Is it sad that I'd rather reminisce about GG's pictures than the actual hockey season? Yeah, didn't think so.

Go Habs Go! Get the measly point, for chrissakes. Better yet, beat the shit out of the leaves. And I want goals dammit! Lots of them!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@RiRi
Thanks. Yes, would he nice to enjoy the ACTUAL players a bit. Maybe tonight.

@jaybird
that made me laugh

Jaybird said...

Glad I could give something back after your brilliant and tireless seasons worth of ART!

The Sergei photoshop in the back seat with Gainey nursing him has to be my favourite and funniest pic of all time anywhere.

The Big LeCareyski and Carey the Pimp whale are side splitting favourites as well. Well done! Kudos.

If only our "team" put half the effort you do GG! We would beat the Devils even.

Most suitable WV ever: GG's photoshops should be the trinsetr for all blogs.

ezzeloharr said...

Thank you so much GG - took me a while to stop laughing after that great collage. =)

Guys, newsflash from one of Québec's premier news sources: Habs are not showing up to the game tonight.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Ezz and Jay
Thanks but it's the brilliant writing that makes the pics work. Really.

Number31 said...

Bulldogs are playing the Marlies today too. But the Bulldogs are sitting pretty so Trotter and Desharnais get a day off, White and Weber get to heal their booboos, Mayer gets to play in goal and Olivier "QuebecPleks" Fortier gets to finally play a game (hopefully doesn't get injured again).

And Mayer just made his first save. Fortier just gave up his first puck. They grow up so fast.

ezzeloharr said...

@31: Whereabouts/Howabouts are you watching said AHL game?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Esther
Your knowledge of the game blows me away every single day. I bet you even have a slap shot.

lehab said...

@gg, moe, fhf, All of you are brilliant... no blog could ever be as much fun as reading this everyday. +++25 cups for that parody moe..outdid yourself again.+++25 cups to gg. I am constantly changing my desktop background with your latest work. Now Go You Fucking Habs!

Number31 said...

@ezze - On the radio. I think I would barf if I had the TV version because they're playing at Ricoh and it would be LeafsTV (barf)

@GG11
Nah, no slapshot. Slapshots aren't very easy to do with a goalie stick but I did score the winner in a shootout with it on Eklund (in floor hockey).

HUNTERBISHOP just scored. He's all kinds of awesome! Already has 2 points in the first period. And Subban just saved/blocked a 3-on-1.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@lehab
Nice to hear. Thanks.

@Esther
Hunter Bishop!!! I think I need to set up a second collage with everyone that I forgot.

habsss said...

Most of me wants them to crash and burn and realize how bad the season has been. But a teeny bit also wants them to make the playoffs anyway

Bill 101 said...

Bravo to this team.

Rather hoping the one with skates follows suit.

Go Habs Go

RiRi said...

30 minutes till the beginning of the end...

I still cannot believe it's going to come down to this fucking game.

lawyergirl77 said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

As I just tweeted, FUCK YOU FELLOW SEASON TICKETHOLDERS. I'm in HELL and it's all your fault.

Mr. LG77 and I are surrounded by Leafs fans. On all sides of us. The insane assylums must be fucking empty tonight.

Pass the Haldol.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@LG
Breathe deep and stare at KM. You'll feel better.

lawyergirl77 said...

Oh and the song parodies were faboo, moe and orangeman... Made me laugh, in spite of the predicament I'm in.

God, they've already started chanting.

Moment of levity: every Habs fam who arrives in our section mutters "tabarnak". Mets-en, prostie (wv= "prostie". Even Blogger agrees...)

GoldenGirl11 said...

@MrLG
My apologies.

bea.habs.fan said...

love GG, love this blog.
can't imagine not looking forward every day of checking it out for brilliance.

I'm trying to decide who to follow after. everytime I pick a team they get eliminated. I'd think I'm the cause of it but that would be really egocentric.

I'm so afraid of this trainwreck but can't stop watching.
is it wrong to see all the Leafs player bite one?

Number31 said...

Well, the Bulldogs ended their season where they started: a shootout loss to the Marlies.

Let's see if Big Brother Habs can do the same. Looking at you, Gorges! And you too Jaro! Gotta steal the game like the Whale did! (Just, uh, no hurting Markov please)

kevincrumbs said...

Go you fucking Habs Go!

HabsFan29 said...

im feeling kind of nauseous already

GoldenGirl11 said...

Look at us praying for even a shoot out loss. Pathetic. Now get that point you overpaid immature passionless ass holes!!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Wow, no Chicken, huh?

HabsFan29 said...

CHicken scratched?? Count Chokula you sick bastard

Number31 said...

No Chicken. No Sergei. Guess it really is like the first game of the season eh?

kevincrumbs said...

Chicken is in, no SK.

HabsFan29 said...

ah, CHicken NOT scratched. not that any lineup differences matter at this point

lawyergirl77 said...

Really? Chickendude isn't playing? He was warming up...

If he and Little Tits aren't in, Martin is an even bigger douche than I thought...

Number31 said...

Sheet error. Chicken is in. But Sergei is apparently still out....

bea.habs.fan said...

will CHicken sitting out really make a difference.
it's not like he's been lighting it up.
of course in his head, it could be Minnie all over again.
is the Count killing off any hope? his record would seem to support this..
anybody knows where he lives? we could go egg and toilet paper his house rather than take it out on police cars

kevincrumbs said...

AK should sit instead of SK. What the fuck has AK done all year except float around the ice?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Spacek tapping the kids made me farklempt. That's what it's about. Don't blow it you fuckers.

kevincrumbs said...

Ugh. Bob Cole. Could we not have Craig Simpson instead?

hfotwc said...

GO YOU FUCKING HABS!!!!!!!

wv flyst. flyst for your life your fucking habs!!!

ps. great awesome and inspiring work here today. Hope the fucling Habs follow your lead

HabsFan29 said...

oh fuck me bob cole for this game?

fezworth said...

Et c'est parti.

Go Hockey,

Go Pants,

GO YOU FUCKING HABS!!!

HabsFan29 said...

well we had a chance. that's something

HabsFan29 said...

see? GO TO THE NET

kevincrumbs said...

Relief. Keep it up, Habs.

HabsFan29 said...

thanks Grabs!

Number31 said...

GRABS! ;D

HabsFan29 said...

oh fuck me

kevincrumbs said...

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, JARO?

Number31 said...

Jaro... Why you do dis to me?

GoldenGirl11 said...

I can't do this for 28 more minutes

fezworth said...

good powerplay so far for the habs.

wait, what?

kevincrumbs said...

CBC learning from TSN and accusing Max of selling a highstick penalty.

GIO!

HabsFan29 said...

a PP goal! i may faint

GoldenGirl11 said...

It's the craziest thing when they go to the net and shoot the puck!! Gio for captain!!!!

fezworth said...

Oh goody. Next thing you know, the crowd'll be singing 'hey hey goodbye'.

Number31 said...

Dion Phaneuf doesn't see Gio. Below his line of sight.

HabsFan29 said...

CHicken is fried. jebus what an open net

kevincrumbs said...

Chicken probably doesn't want to score because he doesn't want fans to consume free chicken wings.

Massive Tits said...

Is it a requirement for every announcer working a Laffs game to:
a) know nothing about hockey or
b) be an unapologetic Leafs fan who calls the game through blue shaded glasses?
Actually, I think I just answered my own question, since you can't be a Laff's fan (b) without being a moron (a).
Although, I still wonder if Bob Cole is wearing his signed Mats Sundin jersey.

Number31 said...

Sergei would have put that in. Oh wait, he wouldn't have because Jacques wouldn't have put him on the powerplay.

kevincrumbs said...

Well, Gomer looking relaxed with Elliott Friedman means that he's loose and not going to buckle under the pressure... or that he doesn't give a fuck. Hm.

Kmaxx said...

Ok - we won the first period - good stuff boys - keep skating and shooting the puck. 14 shots in the first -I'll take that. Back to Nad et Pic - their stream is the best on the interent - the CBC feed lags like O'byrne skating backwards!

Go Habs Gowv - prour - as in - I gotta prour me another cold one to start the second!

RiRi said...

Lapierre looks like such an idiot...

Fight or shut up.

HabsFan29 said...

things are too quiet around here. i sense a nervousness

again with the broken sticks

Bill101 said...

nervousness?... nahhh...

HabsFan29 said...

nervousness turning into panic

kevincrumbs said...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I knew that was going to happen.

Also, what's with all the fucking Swedes? Are you IKEA in disguise?

bea.habs.fan said...

it's not so much nervousness as too afraid not to watch

Number31 said...

WAKE UP

RiRi said...

Woah... Soooo. Caps or Hawks?

Orangeman said...

Hey Habs, your season depends on this game. The one your playing here. Against the worst team in the East. Tonight. Now.

Just a friendly reminder.

Orangeman said...

Fuck, just think of all those missed points througout the season they lost that would have prevented this situation. I guess they would have figured out a way to wait till the last game of the season anyway.

RiRi said...

If I hear "well, the leafs sure are taking it to the canadiens now", I will puke.

kevincrumbs said...

Colton Orr is a douchebag.

Number31 said...

Evander Kane KOed Matt Cooke!

Ryan said...

Everyone in the entire league laughs at Lapierre. Runs his mouth all game and does NOTHING. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TRADE THIS CLOWN.

Massive Tits said...

You won't get me swearing too often on the internet, but this is a fucking disgrace.
After everything we, Hab fans, have had to go through this year; I don't think it was worth it. As odd as it sounds, I'd rather be in Edmonton's position. The option of taking Hall/Segiun and attempting to build a top team rather than a 6th-9th place team in the weaker conference.
I really don't get this 'emo' about the Habs, but this is disgusting. No heart. IT'S ONLY THE FUCKING LEAFS!!!

kevincrumbs said...

AK has been completely useless this game, which is the norm this year. I have no idea why JM keeps putting him on the PP.

kevincrumbs said...

Urologist!

RiRi said...

Urologist!!!!

Yes, I'm back on the bandwagon :)

Number31 said...

Bergeron, you may SUCK on D, but you can kill people with that shot...

Also Pierre Houde and I are in agreement: Jaro is making me nervous.

Orangeman said...

About time, you could just feel it was coming. Or it's the meds.

Pee-Pee Man!

Orangeman said...

For the love of god, please don't come out in the 3rd and rest on this one goal lead. Play like you mean it. Don't be satisfied with the single point. Play with heart.

Oh god, now I'm delirious.

Orangeman said...

Nice, CBC is now saying beating the Habs tonight is almost as good as winning the Cup. Let it go, you idiots.

RiRi said...

Don Cherry's suit looks like a Telus commercial

kevincrumbs said...

Great, bonus Don Cherry...

lawyergirl77 said...

Jaro is totally making me nervous. WTF?

If we suck in the third I will go fucking THERMONUCLEAR on these bitches.

kmaxx said...

Ok Boys..and Girls - that's two down and one to go. Hard to believe I'm doing this after my mid week rant - however I think that was therapy and God knows as a life long Habs Fan I need therapy from time to time - So Come on you Fuckin' pants! - Go Habs Go! Play one more period like it actually matters! Pleeeeaaaasssse!

Anonymous said...

cmon as i posted on FB, if we cant beat the laffs what will we do in the playoffs against an actual NHL team

GoldenGirl11 said...

@kmaxx
you just said what we all were thinking.

ezzeloharr said...

Seriously, why do we play dump-and-not-chase hockey?

wv: skies (yup).

HabsFan29 said...

Ca-rey! Ca-rey!

ezzeloharr said...

Why does Halak look so weak?

kevincrumbs said...

Hamr completely turned around and winning the Academy Award for his role as a pylon in tonight's game.

wv: messing. Habs, stop fucking messing with us.

Rips it, scores! said...

Fuck you, you bunch of festering shitgibbons.

RiRi said...

What the fuck do we have here? Jaro is killing me

Orangeman said...

I mean, really. There's just no more words. Just exasperation.

Number31 said...

Hamr makes me nervous.
Jaro makes me nervous. (Also what's up with his glove lately?)
Bergeron makes me nervous.

GO YOU FUCKING HABS GOOOOOOOOO! please?

Orangeman said...

And you just know in all of their heads they're saying, "Oh well, we just need one point".

fezworth said...

"They're standing over a 2-inch puck and they've got the yips."

Did I hear that right?

GO YOU FUCKING HABS!!!

kevincrumbs said...

The Frat Line? I believe there's more than just three douchebags on the Leafs.

Number31 said...

I'm thinking of the Game 7 against Boston and how awesome that was.

Orangeman said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'd rather they miss the playoffs than make it on an OT loss to the Leafs or depending on NYR/PHI to lose. Why bother seeing them lose 4 more games next week?

kevincrumbs said...

Squid playing with tons of heart.

Bill 101 said...

..because it's the playoffs and anything can happen

wv: let's keep the shatos cing

Orangeman said...

No, CBC, it's not a great save if they shoot it right at him. Not making an effort to let the puck go in =/= great goaltending.

Howard said...

Cammalleri couldn't score in a Tijuana brothel walking a Giant Mexican CHicken!

Number31 said...

This game needs Sergei. Fuck you, Martin.

dwgs said...

Well at least it looks like we've gotten rid of Andrei...

Orangeman said...

Well, I'll say they're playing with desperation and heart. I've decided to remain positive.

Stomach virus = great diet.
For example.

RiRi said...

If this sustained pressure ends in a goal against, someone better check on me in the morning. I mean, they're trying so hard. Go Habs Go!

Number31 said...

Nickleback was there last night eh? The ice probably smells.

Orangeman said...

That's nice they're including Halak.

bea.habs.fan said...

just one point
just one point

HabsFan29 said...

i cant breathe

Rips it, scores! said...

Oh Christ, here we go, containment time. FFS.

HabsFan29 said...

yes hanging on, we get it you fuckers

ezzeloharr said...

*sigh* I'm supposed to be happy now, right Molsons?

HabsFan29 said...

hallelujah, i guess

kevincrumbs said...

We've made it... but that was not enjoyable at all.

Howard said...

It's deja vu all over again! Making the playoff with a tie!

Number31 said...

POINT GET!

Rips it, scores! said...

FUCK YEAH PLAYOFFS

RiRi said...

Playoffs, bitches!!!! Now get that second point for chrissakes.

bea.habs.fan said...

shit I hate this backward playoff entries
but I/m happy we did get in
for whatever dumb reason

Orangeman said...

Well, not exactly surprising. The whole season has been a string of "Good enough". They got the point. And now they'll stop playing.

Bill 101 said...

Dear naysayers,

Great news - there's deeper heartbreak on the way.

Go Habs Go

HabsFan29 said...

oh squid

Orangeman said...

And please, CBC, stop saying the leafs are all over the habs, the habs are barely hanging on, etc. Did the laffs even get a shot in the last 3 minutes? I know it's hard to tell when you watch the laffs all year, but dumping the puck in the corner doesn't equal sustained pressure.

bea.habs.fan\ said...

Squid and his posts
enough already

ezzeloharr said...

Was that a "tabarnak" I saw off of Chicken's lips?

HabsFan29 said...

well it's only fitting

ezzeloharr said...

Icky.

ezzeloharr said...

Gill was weak on that.

Orangeman said...

Super. Now they'll finish 7th and face the Devils. Perfect.

/shoots self in the face.

bea.habs.fan said...

welllll
you know that was coming

Rips it, scores! said...

*feigns shock*

Orangeman said...

Well, there it is. Backing into the playoffs with a loss to the worst team in the league.

Juuuuuuusssst enough. No more.

And fuck you CBC, "Poetic justice". Do you even know what that means?

RiRi said...

Vomit.

Number31 said...

FUCK YOU LEAFS

And if we play the Caps, holy shit they better put Price in nets...

Sonia said...

Way to back into the playoffs, fuckwads.

Ryan said...

Is there any chance we will have to face the Capitals now?

bea.not so much a fan today said...

at this point, does it really matters who's in net if nobody scores?

kevincrumbs said...

Just like last year, except without the humiliating open ice hit by the opposition to create a OT winning goal.

This team'll be lucky to win one game in the playoffs. Jaro better shake off what's bothering him.

dwgs said...

Well Fuck. Ah well, let's see what fresh hell awaits later this week.
Chapeaux to the leafs for being classy and shaking Marouelli's hand. I was happy to see the Habs clue in just before they left the ice. Yet another reason they need a captain.

Orangeman said...

It's the Devils (or possibly the Pens, not sure how the tie-breaker would go between them). 4, perhaps 5, excrusiatingly boring games to look forward to.

The Habs are like C students. Not bad enough to get attention until they try to get a job and everyone realizes they can't read or do simple multiplication. But they have that high school diploma, so they must be good, right?

habsss said...

I'd rather they play the Caps than the Devils.

Sonia said...

Overpriced playoff tickets to watch this bunch of asswipes go on sale tomorrow at noon.

Kmaxx said...

Well fuck me...we're in - barely - but we're in! Not encoraging to listen to the Count post game on RDS but - hey! - no matter what a Laffs fan says about tonight - they haven't made the playoffs for 5 years! Eat me!

Orangeman said...

Oh, sorry, I completely omitted the possibility of the Phlyers winning tomorrow. If they win then its Habs vs Caps.

So I guess Go Phlyers Go?

matt - ftc said...

Halak was GARBAGE tonight. To all of the losers who booed Price the last time i was at a game...FUCK YOU

ezzeloharr said...

So I didn't get to watch the whole game, but... Was Halak weak? Or was it just me?

rutbut said...

Just did the math, and unless I've had one Corona too many, I think we're 8th no matter what happens Sunday. Bienvenue Washington?

Oh yeah, and fuck you Bob Cole!

Anonymous said...

It bears saying again - Dear Habs I would like it if you could kiss my ass.

Rips it, scores! said...

Well, unless I'm way off, New Jersey won the Atlantic Division tonight, thanks to their win & Pittsburgh's loss (NJ won the season series between the two).

As for the Habs, they'll move down to 8th if the Phlyers win tomorrow. Otherwise, it's seventh & a trip to Newark or Buffalo.

matt - ftc said...

start price, put muller in charge

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Orange
You're on great meds. Love that analogy.

Orangeman said...

@rutbut: I thought the Rangers had the tie-breaker against the Habs, but I might/probably am wrong. I hope I am.

And I just want to say without Halak this team wouldn't even in the playoffs. I don't like how Price is coddled after a loss (so, like, most of his games) and Halak fed to the wolves. He was weak tonight, but where would the Habs be without him this season?

Rips it, scores! said...

Ooh, just realised that Buffalo play the Devils tomorrow in Newark. If they win, the Habs will definitely avoid the Devils, which should make our first round exit somewhat less mind-numbingly dull, at least.

Number31 said...

I WANT THE CAPS. If I'm going to spend that money, then fuck it, I want to be entertained not bored to tears.

rutbut said...

@Orangeman

I stand corrected. Habs are 7th if Rags win. Corona and blind rage are not conducive to coherent thought.

But Bob Cole can still fuck off.

lawyergirl77 said...

Orangeman - word. He's the reason we have a shot in the first place.

Halak should start next game, but I will fully agree that, if he sucks next game, Price should get a shot.... In an away game first.

moeman said...

Hey kidz, what'd i miss? Did the leaf win the Cup?

WV = spork, as in the Habs are like eating soup with a spork

moeman said...

Damn, if Id've not been at the Sens/Slugs game, this game thread would surely have topped 200.

3 points for Vodkov!

~~~

Fun chant at the game; Miller!, followed by Silver! Also fun was a rousing (I was in the 300s with what seemed like 3 frat housefulls of Creemore swilling Sens fans) rendition of Winter WonderLand.

Bonus, my daughter is getting a really nice Alfie 1000th game tee (don't tell her all 20000 in attendance got one).

WV = squed, as in I hear Squed! played a good game.

gillis said...

@moeman: meh

Tyg said...

I usually just read this blog and the commentary and get a chuckle, but I can't help but give a wicked ass shout OUT to Orangeman for his Fuck the Leafs song. Man... thing of beauty. Just sheer poetry.

YOU RAWK!

PS. Fuck the Laffs!

RiRi said...

We made it to ice cream!

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 203   Newer› Newest»