Saturday, April 24, 2010

Ok I Can Speak Again: Game 5 Review: Lil' Habs 2 - Wadlowvechkins 1

Pretty inspiring what these little people have done to the giants. No matter how far they go, it will have been a series. Sure a few bounces here and there and we could have had a totally different series, but Caps in 6 sounds pretty honourable to me.

Little People did some very good things last night, like:

  • not allowing an onslaught of goals in the third period
  • not allowing more than 3 goals in under 4 seconds at any point in the game
  • not allowing the Caps short handed unit outscore their power play unit
  • not allowing Jaroslav Spacek anywhere near a Caps jersey
  • not allowing Jaroslav Spacek anywhere near a Habs jersey
  • deciding to live and die with our cult hero
  • not dying
  • not allowing the Caps to score as a result of the most random, insignificant and unfortunate series of unlucky bounces that end up in your own net with 0.4 seconds left to play in regulation
  • not allowing Roman Days of Our Lives Hamrlik to back up with the cadence of a pregnant cement truck. (yes, cement trucks have libidos too)
  • not allowing Benoit Pouliot any access to his old linemates, even through unsuspecting sign language
The Wadlowvechkins have seen their growth stunted for at least another weekend. That may be the nicest thing about our own surprising growth spurt; we get to enjoy it for a bonus day, with Game 6 (geez that sounds nice) only going on Monday.

Enjoy it caramba.


moeman said...

Even in a suit ovechicken looks like a fucking jerk.

RiRi said...

That pic!!! Genius, GG!!!

RiRi said...

"not allowing Roman Days of Our Lives Hamrlik to back up with the cadence of a pregnant cement truck.(yes, cement trucks have libidos too)"

I can't stop laughing!

Also, how about "not allowing the Urologist to come out of the room for the 3rd period"?

Because I'm pretty sure that's written in the "Protecting a Lead: The Basics" chapter of the NHL Coaching for Dummies handbook.

wv: spare - using MAB spare-ingly = W

Number31 said...

Apparently Sergei will be benched Monday. Congrats, Chocula. You apparently want us to lose, you jackass.

Odd that Pouliot continues to get a free pass. I wonder if his name were Serge Constance he'd be on the powerplay and wouldn't face this stupidity daily...

Quick. Someone bring up Guy Boucher before the Lightning hire him away and before Chocula destroys our young players.

Flying Toaster said...

@Number31: I agree... Seriously we always come down hard on the players that least deserve it... Seems odd.

Baruch said...

the Sergei line was on the ice for the only caps goal laat game, that's most likely the determining reason for him being benched. Metro plays on the pp so he gets more minutes, CHicken got a few dozen seconds more than little tits.

Chokular is taking no chances evidently

lawyergirl77 said...

We've been fucking up our young players since before Count Chocula, peeps. Carbo was fucking them up too... the only one who was okay with them was Julien. And even then, it's merely okay, not "good".

It's kind of the Habs' thing.

Which is why I'm worried about what's gonna happen to PK, mais bon. One thing at a time.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Bring back the three button suit. The guys look sharp.

boob gainey said...

Watch Sergei on the Caps' goal on Friday and tell me he deserves to play.

The incredible thing is he did the same thing in game 2 on Backstrom's goal.

This isn't JM screwing a young player.

Number31 said...

He did more good than that one bad though, plus he was in position. A position Chocula yells at him for leaving if he leaves...... Also his line in Game 4 really gave the Caps fits. He provides an option for extra offense but ha ha who am I kidding as Chocula damns offensive creativity and cares only about defense, as in defending (ie praying to hold) a 1-goal lead against the most offensively offensive team in the League who scored the most 3rd period goals in the League.

Instead of pressuring and attacking and forcing a turnover to get the empty net, they're directed to sit back and defend. If Moen didn't lift Knuble's stick, he'd have most likely tied the game with 3 seconds left. Playing with fire? That's Chocula's system.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I couldn't agree more. Good luck JM...

"Hi, Mrs. Kostitsyn? Hi, it's Jacques Martin. Yes, I understand that it's the middle of the night in Belarus... but your sons are giving us a bit of a problem... yes, I can hold on... ИГОРЬ! ВОЗЬМИТЕ ТЕЛЕФОН! IT, ЧТО ГЛУПЫЙ ТРЕНЕР! И ПРИНЕСИТЕ МНЕ WODKA!! ... Uh, hi... oh, Mr. Kostitsyn, hi, it's about your sons?... they are very talented hockey players but they don't like to follow the rules...ВЫ - ЗЛОЙ ДЕСПОТ И УЖАСНЫЙ КОСТЮМЕР! ВЫ ДОЛЖНЫ ПОЙТИ ИСК, ДЕЛАЮЩИЙ ПОКУПКИ С КИРКОМ!... uh, I don't speak russian...You're going to need to come and get Sergei... sorry, what was that? KGB? I don't follow.... Yes, I know Pasquale... huh? (click) hello?

boob gainey said...

Blaming the coach. The oldest Montreal tradition. Even Scotty Bowman got criticized by the local experts.

And it doesn't matter what the coach does. Sit a guy with 18 points in 47 games and that's why we lost. Whatever he does - that's why we lost.

It's like we think our team should win the cup every year so when we don't it has to be the coach.

b said...

If it isn't the coach, it must be the GM, if it isn't the GM it must be the owner.

We the true believers in the Sainte Flannelle must be appeased.

A thought triggered by Jack Todd's piece on Carey "Too High a" Price. Was Price's lack of maturity the beginning or perhaps the major problem in the room last year? Did, for example, Bouillon displease Price? I can't imagine Kovalev's reaction. Only room for one prima donna.

As for Pouliot, sounds like the "fix" wasn't. Trente sous pour un dollar? Can we buy back Guillaume?

Le Douze said...

@boob - you're right, we can't lay ALL of the problems at JM's door. But surely some of them? My impression is that he does a lousy job of motivation and in-game tactics, but a pretty decent job on overall setups. In the playoffs, the motivation issue has mostly been a non-issue because the guys really want the cup, but the in-game tactics are wanting.

As far as SK74, he's really not gonna make the difference one way or the other by himself, but I really think Guy Boucher would do a better job with guys like him.

The Pens have been playing spottily, which I think is because they don't want it as badly after winning it last year and being in the finals the year before, but Bylsma juggles the lines to good effect and seems to have a knack for un-jamming things. And his team was facing a pretty good coach, IMHO, in the Sens series.

I really think that the current Habs team would do better with one of those coaches than with JM... maybe still not Cup material, but a pretty damn good team.

hfotwc said...

Another Jackass Turd piece of crap about Carey.

Did he mean petulance or flatulence?

wv. Jackass Turd reakesse

Ronan said...

Does Jack Todd actually do research for any of his articles anymore? It seems like all he does is sit at home, sleep through most of the game, skim through the HI/O comments, and copy-paste the most indignant, irate ones. He doesn't even bother to take out the netspeak - who the fuck starts a newspaper column with "OOOOOOOOOOOKAY luggles und grunts &&&&&&&&&& other things" or whatever the hell he used to do. Paranoid thought of the day - Habs haven't won since he started writing for the Gazette.

JM is useless during the game. He might as well just hand the lines and a few written instructions ("if da players hice da puck more than once in a row, DO NOT CALL TIMEOUT - timeout is for when down 5-1 with 30 seconds left in game") to Muller and go take a nap somewhere. Decent before the game (lines, strategy, etc), but does nothing during the game.