Move over Breezer, there's a new Franco-Canadien defencemen in my trunk who couldn't cover my sister if she was standing in the slot. That smell you noticed wafting from Le Centre Bell the past couple of days is the smell of desperation. CH-CH-CH-CHanges.
Darch is out, Rhino is in. Can't wait to see Rhino play smash mouth, crease clearing hockey - moslty because that would be a first for a Montreal player in this series. I can wait to see Ovie coming down on a rush while I hold my breath waiting for Rhino to trip over his own feet. Love DarCHVader but this may be his last game; I call Ryan White taking his place next season (if White learns to skate, that is). Yes, I am already talking about next season.
Jaro out. TFS in - he of the zero victories in the past 50 days. Last one right after the Olympic break. (Remember cheering for a team that won something? Yeah, good times; long times ago, though.)
Habs may be down two Jaros, as Spacek is apparently a game-time decision. If Jaro 2.0 is good to go (please please please) The Urologist moves back from defence to forward. Thank darwin, because he was FUCKING AWFUL on the last goal and has basically been a whipping boy back there all series. And I am less than impressed with his PP work (heh).
If not, DarCHVader is probably back in while Little Tits wonders if he'll get traded to the same place as Grabs in the off season. (Yes, I am talking about next season again.)
Lots of CHanges and perhaps more to come, but will it make any difference?
Alright, it worked for Game 1 so I'll try it again:
CAPS/HABS GAME 4 PREVIEW, 1971 Inspiration Edition
Ken Dryden = Carey Price meaning stop everything they throw at you, Mr. Franchise Saviour, or it's back to Fat Whale Offseason Training and maybe a new postal code next season.
Post comments below this line:
173 comments:
we're like those animals that eat their youngs!!!
GO FUCKING HABS GO
(awesome pic GG)
Hot chicks! Panger's trunk! Typos! This is all a good omen.
GO YOU FUCKING PANTS
That pic is hilarious!
Any room in there for Hamr?
Go Habs Go!!!
Go Fat Whale Go!!!
Panger, we might need to get you a bigger trunk. Or a dump truck. GO YOU FUCKING HABS PANTS WODKA WHALES GO!!!!
DO A GLOSSARY OF THE DAY FOR GOOD LUCK!!!!!
GO YOU FUCKING PANTS I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Thats a nice car. Gals are hot too!
Go you fucking Habs.
Calgary is so quiet that no one even noticed the two women stuffing the urologist into your car.
Panger - you need to get a late 90's edition Ford LTD Crown Vic - the trunk in that car was fuckin' massive. You could pack up most of the D in there without so much as a bulge in the bonnett. Maybe that would help. This locking them up one at a time is not working out too well...just a thought!
Anyway - Go You Fuckin' Pants! Forget the corners - shoot at the fuckin' net! It's not rocket science. 10 shots a period and you'll be playing a game 6!
Who was it called for the Montreal media to start digging some dirt on the OTHER team for a change? Hell, if SI can do it surely some of our guys can??
(The article title is "SI REPORTS NHL DID NOT INVESTIGATE DOCTOR'S STEROID TIES" and relates to the chiropodist linked to the capitals last year)
A sampling of Ottawa Bluesfest 2010;
The B-52s Crowded House Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi Band Drake
Gipsy Kings Great Big Sea Jimmy Cliff The Levon Helm Band John Hiatt & the Combo
The Moody Blues Passion Pit Roger Hodgson The Swell Season Arcade Fire
The Flaming Lips Furthur featuring Phil Lesh & Bob Weir Iron Maiden
Keith Urban Kevin Costner and Modern West RUSH Santana Weezer
And many more…
http://www.ottawabluesfest.ca/
Win this game assholes and you make this team respectable.
We make this series 2-2 and we'll be in better shape than those rat bastard NJ Devils... and they've got Brodeur, Kovalchuck and even a coach!
Play OB on D, MAB on the PP, get SK back on the 3rd line, kick Moen in the ballsack, and don't match up top line vs top line.
and finish your goddamn checks!
Here's the thing, if they were down 3-0 to the Caps, we would just resign ourselves to the fact that we knew that they never really had a chance. But noooooo, they showed us that they CAN beat this team when they keep their focus and stick to their game plan.
Naturally our expectations have risen and that's why it's so damn frustrating. Regardless, GO YOU FRIGGIN' HABS!!!!!!! Oh, and just to further screw with our heads, they'll lose tonight, win in Washington and ultimately lose the series back at the Bell Center, because they're the Habs.
Moey, 'friggin'?
I wanna see you type 'fucking' and no tyops!
Also, Moey, you honky tonk woman that lights my fire, you get to CHoose the parody, The Doors or The Stones?
moeman,
I'm the queen of fucking tyops, c'mon man, ask me not to breathe for God's sake.
Doors, light my fire.
I ♥ Moey.
@Moe and Moey
Get an iHotel for god's sake.
@GG, was it the sans tyops "ask me not to breathe for God's sake" line.
Carey, light this fire
The Doors
You know that I would be untrue
You know that I would be a friggin' liar
If I was to say to you
Moey, 'WE' couldn't get much higher
A young male CHicken is a fryer
Come on Carey, light this fire
Play to set the night on fire
The time to hesitate is through
No time to Jaro in the mire
Don't just try now 'WE' can only lose
And our Habs love becomes a funeral pyre
Go Habs Go!, show some desire
Come on Carey, light this fire
No riots but set Montréal on fire, yeah
The time for JM's bad taste is through
No time for What To Wear to conspire
Let's hope his Pants! matCH his zoot suit
And he doesn't look like a Brylcreem'd vampire
A win would be fun to admire
Come on Carey, light this fire
Turn Mike Green into a fucking liar, yeah!
You know that I parody for you
You know 33 wrote to inspire
And now I will to say to you
Habs, ask me not to breathe for God's sake!
Come on Carey, light this fire
Come on Carey, light this fire
Clear your crease to set the night on fire
Hack a Cap to set the night on fire
Play to set the night on fire
Save to set the night on fire
G o
Y ou
F ucking
H abs!
@Moe
Hopefully Carey'll play like a superstar and not like a dead druggie.
+20 as in the number of paternity suits that existed after JM died
GG, there's 20 paternity 'suits' against Jacques Martin?
@Moe
20 that they know about
GG,
Season home games at the Bell Centre say JM is guilty of at least 41 crimes against fashion. Maybe JM needs a good tailor (or lawyer) or both.
@GG & moe: I've heard Stephen Harper is referring the allegations to the RCMP For further investigation, but won't tell us exactly what they're looking into. Senator Demers will be called for questioning in the matter, however.
@moe,
Nice, I was singing it to the cats. They were giving me the usual "we know you're a mental case look."
@JT, not sure who is the least inept amongst harper, RCMP and Demers.
@Moey, "we know you 're a mental case look." you or me? Damn cats rule the fucking interwebs.
@moe,
Cats rule, period.
WV - acratyr
I hope the Habs don't dig acratyr in the first period.
@moe - i am out of superlatives for your work in the area of "Habs-based song parodies". + whatever you want, that killed. one day we'll get together and I'll tell you about the 12 hours i spent at Pere Lachaise cemetery at Jim's grave.
So is it wrong to be having brownies and Irish whiskey for dinner? i can't eat real food, i'm too nervous
pants
Thnx 29, I'd slightly correct you by suggesting "FHHabs-based song parodies".
All in fun with the boyz and the gorgeous, galicious, God-make-me-breath! FHFemmes.
Now win you fucking Habs!
~~~
Looking forward to this summer's FHFBBQ.
tyop, FHH should = FHF.
Blame the Rumtinis (Barbados' Mount Gay Rum, lime, cranberry juice and frozen pineapple used as ice, then eaten).
Let's hope that summer BBQ isn't on Saturday.
DEAR GOD CAN YOU NOT SCORE SOME GOALS!!!! FUCK!!!... Oh sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Tuscan Lemonade for me tonight. Delish.
Always fun to watch (think roadside car crash) the mouth-breathing tsn wooden panel discuss all-things-Hab. They are not hockey fans, just leaf fans that denigrate anything but leaf. Sickos.
Moey, made with Limoncello?
I think low expectations are the way to go... That being said, please don't get shut out tonight! K thx.
(What? It worked last time...)
Also,
*butterflies in stomach*
I'M FREAKING OUT
deep breath, deep breath
moe,
But of course!
Jesus Ovie, that's a face only a mother could love.
did they boo? i wasnt listening. im drunk already
nice start.
WTF? A penalty already?!?
What is it about taking a penalty in the first 2 minutes of the game that is so enticing?
Ugh.
'They' did not boo (the anthems). They were warned.
another good kill. maybe we should play the whole series shorthanded
1-0 Sabreslugs.
oh look another penalty
FUCK
this series is slipping away...
H8 8.
MOTHERFUCKER
I get that Ovie is good, but that doesn't mean you have to let all his shots go in.
1-1 bitCHes!
SQUID!!!
back in it baby!
That's my Squid!!!
Line juggling works!
WOOT!
Squidlicious.
mcsplooging on metro
WatCHing RDS, cannot take all the phlegm and splooge.
Habs best passer, Price.
Caps can just to what they want apparently
Habs best passer, Price.
Knooble looks to the refs. Bought?
Not to beat a dead horse (I prefer to beat live ones), but I guess the Caps won't be having any penalties called against them tonight.
NICE DEFENSIVE PLAY REF
PP for us. fucking miracle. CASH IT
Don't fight back! The refs are itching to give you a retaliation penalty!
Was I the only who saw them raise their arms thinking they scored?
I can't be 100% sure because I'm in a bar and can't hear too well, but was the TSN intro/corporate advertising whoredom insinuating that the Caps are the morally superior peace loving Native American metaphor, while the Habs are the war-loving American military metaphor?
Nice catCH Groin, was wonderin' WTF! tsn was tryin' to say/prove.
how many non-calls. im exhausted
Halak does not look amused
It's amazing the series is only 2-1 and this game is 1-1 considering the reffing. I hate going on and on about it, but it's very frustrating.
whew
Other than that final minute meltdown, I liked what I saw.
Keep it up, boys!!!
*puts the pom-poms down*
Thank God the period just ended. All those caps buzzing around the net, I was getting nauseated.
go on about it orangemen, i dont fucking care anymore about appearing bitter. ive had enough of non-calls, im more frustrated than you. it's the meth
Maybe if Québec separates, Gary B. will tell his cronies in white and black to stop hating on the Habs because they're not a Canadian team. Now I feel like BR should write an article about that.
BTW, miss the suck-o-meter, though I do like knowing how your gut is feeling. Thanks HF.
Well, now to go teach. I'll be checking in periodically, so for the kiddies' sake I hope the Habs do well.
these fucking referees make me puke!
wv= pressub these are our pressub(ban) days
Also: can someone please explain the Bell ads on the boards? The faces had beards on Monday, now they're clean-shaven. Are they saying the Habs will be back on the links soon?
Oh, fuck you TSN. "This time the Habs are sticking around with the Caps". The series is 2-1 with two OT games and it was scoreless after one last game, assholes.
SwitCHin' CHannels (despite knowing tsn will find many ways to denigrate the Habs).
Seeing a dare-in drudger piece is realizing its a POS 'reporting' job and time to go take a shit.
WV = hypari
Watching TSN...Listening to RDS for the same fucking reason Moeman
Nevermind: they switch them between periods. Brilliant.
What is weird about tsn and rds (despite being parented by the same owners) is that they are segregationists for totally different reasons. Is it really 2010?
Fuck off, refs. Just fuck off.
this game is like, plodding along
nice confident hop from TFS
LOL @ the Price hop!
I'm falling asleep.
Big Sexy looks good out there
I love the hippo commercials. *pours another lemonade*
nice Calder Cup stats Carey. please try and replicate them
jebus nice glove
Great PP! A goal would have been nice tho...
Gio!
Gionta!!!
FINALLY. GIO!
Gio! (felt too good to not type it twice!!)
AGAIN with Varlamov's glove. fuck. shoot low you idiots
We woke the fuckers up. Stick with the program boys, you can do this!!!!!!
Too many men!!!
CHerry, CHerry, CHerry!!!
worst thing ever. my god
Lock Hamr up fer chrissakes
That's a killer.
Why did Ovechkin sit for the Too Many Men? Doesn't the coach pick?
I didn't think it was a real condition, but this habs team may just be the first observed occurrence of collective allergy to a lead.
Chocula rewards Hamr by putting him back on the ice right after...
Ha I totally called that short handed goal the second Bergeron failed to keep the puck in the Caps' zone.
Ovechkin sat since he doesn't kill penalties and he could get apossible breakaway out of the box at the end of it. I could just kill Roman Hamrlik. Montreal had me almost in tears with the pride they were playing with and he chunks it like that....disgrace.
What a fucking joke O'Byrne hasn't been in every game for us.
Ovie sat so they could spring him for a rush. Not necessary now. Fuck!
Apparently Bob is in the house. Wonder what he's thinking. Probably "let's see, game over by 9:30ish, maybe grab a bite before getting home to watch that movie I rented. Gotta get some sleep. Teeing off at 7".
Ugh. Shots are 33-18 in our favor. I need to start drinking NOW.
Had O'Byrne done that, his ass would be nailed to the bench in the third. Watch old man Hamr lead all D in minutes in the 3rd...
Fucking Urologist. Jebus Hamr.
O'Byrne is God, Budda whatever. He's a Fecking Monster. Why the CHrist could't these bitCHes play this well all series? Nothing like fear to make you play like a team.
Go you Fuckers Go.
Go Pants
JUST GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wv:chics as in the pics of the CHics are better then mab.
i like the Carey chants
Remember when CHicken used to score? Those were the days... Sigh.
Der furh is getting on my nerves
I am playoff game nervous.
Jake Gylenhall is a the game... McSplooge brings up Brokeback Mountain. Oh the irony.
mcsplooge is lying about not knowing Brokeback Mountain
ANOTHER non-call. im sick
@RiRi
that's hilarious!
Jean!
not to be pessimistic, but series over. FUCK
MOTHERFUCKER
now it's REALLY over
Classic. MAB turnover. Hamr as his partner.
*sadface*
So, how are those University of Minnesota D-men getting along on the farm then......?
Is anybody else feeling worse about themselves now that Mcquire is throwing some pity towards Habs' fans right noq?
Price is as nuts as Roy. Could be good for next season, how about putting a fucking team (defense) in front of him.
Eh I almost don't care but what did Price do? CSN blows.
players have given up
Cari threw the puck towards the Caps goal celebration
Well at least he cares. Must be frustrating to play with others who don't
Haha, did he? Nice one, Carey. I like it.
Here comes an empty netter. :(
You know what Jacques? Screw you.
Count Chocula tries to pull a Ruff and fails miserably.
*vomit*
this is gonna be a long off-season
wait what? only 3-1? whatever
Well, it was a fun season spent here at FHF. Thankfully, I'm running the Power Point presentation at some big conference on Friday and will miss the game. I'm pretty sure there won't be a Game 6 for me to waste my time watching on Monday.
You know I'm French Canadian and I'd rather have a good fucking coach who doesn't speak a word of French than some shitty French-speaking coach who can't coach for shit.
Oh what the hell:
Moore!!!
Well, that's the season. Expect a blowout next game. I think I'll skip it.
Scary stat: Count Chocula-coached teams have not won a playoff series since 2002-2003...
Too soon?
Fuck the Caps. Sid will take them out.
insult to injury:
Bruins came back to tie Sabres & get ot.
sigh
@RiRi: Well, you could make an argument that JM doesn't actually do any coaching...
I'm sorry but how did Jennifer Hedgehog get a job in television? God, is she annoying.
How do you call yourself an NHL team and give up 4 goals on 20 shots in the 3rd period of a game that was tied AT HOME? Seriously? How do you even make the playoffs? I don't care who you're playing, that's fucking disgraceful and an insult to all your fans, especially the ones who paid good money to see this mess. Absolutely no self-respect on this team. Nevermind player changes, a major shift in attitude is needed.
Big D mistakes killed this game. JM is not the coach for this team. They have not learned to hold a lead all season. Still breathing but barely. Caps didn't deserve this win but shit happens. Go Habs!
Jenny Hedgehair is a screamer, tsn loves its screamers.
@orangeman: In fairness, 2 of those 4 goals were empty netters. The D was cack for the 3 preceding that; no arguments there.
A demain les ami(e). I am drained.
Even scarier, the ice time and the plus minus numbers. Count Chocula exhausted his top two lines and did not use lines three or four in the third period. Moore was missing until he got a mercy shift and scored. Count Chocula needs a trip back somewhere. And how do you unload defense men who can't perform? Although part of their problem is the system that gives them no support from the center or a high back side wing. How do you get out skated when you control the gap? A bigger gap at the blue line and it shrinks coming into the zone. Instead of a tight gap through the neutral zone until you get beat. I have sympathy for Carey Price.
WV= jases Jases cain't we get another win, lads.
Moe,
I think someone shoved a hedgehog up her butt, hence the yelling. TSN is pretty progressive, gerbils are a thing of the past. Pee Air knows.
tabarnac
Just so we're clear...
O'Byrne: +1 tonight, 7 hits (most in one game by ANYONE in this series other than Ovechkin's 8 in game 2), 4 blocked shots - 13 minutes and his first game
Hamrlik: -1 tonight, no hits; -1 last game, no hits; -2 in game 2, 1 hit; even in game 1, 1 hit; on for TWO shorthanded goals against - 15 minutes
MAB: Worst +/- of any player these playoffs (-3 tonight; -3 last game; -1 in game 2; -1 in game 1), and his vaunted offense has so far contributed... 1 assist - 22 minutes, including more powerplay time than Andrei fucking Markov
Clearly, JM is an excellent judge of skill and metes out minutes accordingly. Hell, keep Subban in the minors 'til he's 30 in this fuckhead is still around...
if* this fuckhead is still around
Wouldn't be a FHF post without a tyop
@ Ronan - woah. those stats are crazy. How does Hamr have 2 measly hits in four games?!?
I'm still fuming. Nt because they lost (though I don't love that either), but;
1) 20-6 shots in the 3rd? AT HOME?!
2) 4 fucking goals in the 3rd AT HOME?!! I don't care if they were all empty netters.
3) Not one but two unsportsmanlike conducts by Price. I didn't see it, but have some self-respect.
4) The stats that Ronan posted.
It's not even that the Habs consistantly lose, it's how they do it. If you're going to suck, just suck. They played 2 pretty good games in Washington and then this at home?
Urgh.
Another reason to hate that jerk
Dear Mr. Hamrlik:
Thank you for your lackluster play, especially while we have been shorthanded, allowing us a goal in that situation in each of the last two games, changing the tone and ultimately the outcome of those games. Couldn't have done it without you.
B. Boudreau for A. Ovechkin & Friends
*******
Fuck this team. Hamrsuck and Bergeroff must go. Now.
Thanks for that RiRi. You know, I used to like Ovie, I really did. And it's not because he's destroying the Habs (then I'd have to had 80% of the league and I just don't have that much time). But he's pretty classless. And now I have somewhere to direct my hate besides my innocent students. Meh, they needed the pop quiz today anyway.
*hate 80% of the league....
More typzjeandaos.
Wait. It gets better. Here's what the Caps PR person had to say about it on Twitter:
1) Kid shouldn't stand in front of our bench 2) guarantee he's bragging to friends about having snow sprayed by Ovi
Imagine dealing with his shit on a daily basis. Can't wait to get out of DC.
Phew. I'm drained from that game. Probably will have no voice tomorrow either.
Hamr can join Bergeron in the trunk. No coach with even half a brain would pair those two, put them out on the ice with a powerplay and barely 10 seconds left in a period. That 2-on-barely-1 (because the guys skating back to break it up were facing the wrong way) killed the game.
Price did what he could. Didn't fight the puck, looked real calm, stickhandled around Ovechkin...but this D just lets whoever do whatever they want around his net. The unsportmanlike penalties? Bullshit. The refs turned a blind eye on the real penalties and just decide to call whatever? Sure thing buddy. Trip, hook, hack, slash, crosscheck, it's a free for all for the Caps.
The two empty netters were killer though. These guys had no urgency and they could have tied it, especially after Moore got Varlamov with that weak one.
Wow. I liked Ovechkin, I really did. Such a raw enthusiasm for the game.. But that's a kid. You don't do that to a kid. What an asshole.
@RiRi who is this twitter-tosspot who said that?
@fez - @nateewell
Fuck the Caps. I hate the fucking Pens but I hope to hell that Sid and Co. destroy Ovi Cro-fucking-Magnon Head. If not the Pens then ANYBODY. According to every single goddamned sports program in the entire fucking world, there's no other hockey players in the NHL anyway. I hope the two most perfect people in the world cancel each other out and someone - any other team - wins the damned cup.
WV - besse
You besse yourself out the door quick before I toss your over-worshipped ass out, you fucking asshole Ovechkin.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Oh, and if anyone's interested, Ovechkin's snow shower is on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7Pv9VD_5Ew&feature=player_embedded
The "man" (I use the tem in the strict biological sense) is clearly an asshole.
Well, one thing's for sure, the refs won't let the Caps do to the Pens what they're doing to the Habs. So that alone should disable Washington's attack, especially getting used to doing whatever they want.
edit: apologies to RiRi, link already posted.
How the hell do you edit a post here???
wv: tongras, as in the refs have their tongue so far up ovechkins ass Im surprised he doesnt choke.
@ Tyg
The Avs are my Western Conference team this year. Fans that give a shit even when the team isn't great? Check. Exciting but not-overhyped youth movement that didn't require years of tanking to build? Check. Feel-good story goalie? Check. Team that bumps out the #1-seeded Sharks? Fingers crossed.
@ Ronan
Fucking GO Avs! As long as they knock the 2 holy of holies off their over-varnished perches, I'll love anybody.... except the Leafs. I've got my standards.
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