Friday, March 06, 2009

Ode to Breezer on the occasion of his 1000th Game*

The only time I've actually been happy to look at Breezer

So the Habs play in Atalanta tonight at 7:30. Habs need to wake up, Tangy finally looks good to go, Kovalchuk is great, and Bird Watchers Anonymous is your source for all things Thrash. That's your preview. Assuming Breezer is actually playing (I can't seem to confirm the lineup at this hour), on this most momentous of occasions, I have once again been moved to verse.

Oh, Breezer, why do we taunt you so?
Because you suck
You're good for a goal a game
For the other team;
Your gaffes are the stuff of legend
From giving up the puck at the opponent's blue line on the PP
leading to a short-handed breakaway
To your pylon-like abilities in your own zone
You always give us an excuse as to why we lost
That's something I guess;
On occasion you delight us with a good shot from the point
Or a clever pass
But those moments are as rare
As a bottle of '34 Chateau Margaux
Which I would smash over your head if I saw you;
They say you bring leadership to the room
But I believe you only bring doom
To this day I feel your signing was junk
So please go back to Panger's trunk.

Happy 1000th game Patrice!

*UPDATE (lap dance to rutbut) - Breezer is sitting. Pretend I wrote this in the future.

50 comments:

gillis said...

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

I've been looking forward to watching this game for so long but I cant cause Im in fuckin rome. Oh well, cant complain.

So do the habs suck? or are they actally meh.

I miss hockey.

Moey said...

Yup, Breeze makes mistakes,
but Komo sucks more,
at least Breeze can score.

rutbut said...

Breezer out. O'Byrne In. Dandy's playing too.

Habs Inside/Out

fezworth said...

They want Breezer to have game #1000 at home. He'll sit out the next one too.

lawyergirl77 said...

Here's the thing...

*puts on haz-mat suit/raises shields*

Breeze has been helping us, as much as he has been hurting us this year... He's only at a -1. Komo is even, Markov is at -2, Hamr is at +2.

So, yes, his giveaways are horrifying... but he's not sucked as much lately. In fact, I daresay he's sucked less than Komo. *ducks*

(please don't hurt me...)

(FYI the two best +/- on the team: Georges with +12 and Tanguay with +7)

HabsFan29 said...

look everyone, I agree with all of you the Komi is sucking even more than Breezer. I have no doubt of that

But Breezer still sucks, dammit!!!

James said...

And Komo still has a remote chance of bouncing back. Breeze is done like a turkey at Thanksgiving.

Van Hab said...

Ha!
Sitting for his 1000th game.

I agree with all sides of the debate by stating all our defencemen are prone to lapses of suckitude, with Markov sucking the least frequently and O'Byrne sucking the most frequently. The others fall somewhere along that scale of suckiness by alternating suckiness with acceptable play and sometimes flashes of decent play.

I think that since he's returned from Colorado, Brisebois has delivered above-average return on investment.

Furthermore, dude has shown a phenomenal ability to deal with the fans' hatred like water off a ducks' back. If nothing else, the way he handles scrutiny day in and day out is a terrific example to set for the many young players on the team. Montreal's pressure cooker of media and fan scrutiny has destroyed the confidence of many players who have flourished elsewhere or never recovered their shattered confidence.

For Brisebois to return to where he was essentially run out of town and compete as he has is impressive, in my opinion. Dude had more than enough money 2 years ago to milk the Ferrari circuit with the biggest stress coming from decising which pair of tits to nestle between. Instead he's returning to Montreal and left a legacy that is a whole lot rosier than when he left the last time.

Kudos Brisebois on reaching 1000 games. Try the dip, it's delicious.

cottoneye said...

You know you're getting old when watching the game is the only thing you have planned on a friday night.

PS.- Komo is probably playing injured. Breezer has no excuse, unless sucking is a disease.

Moey said...

@ Van Hab

Couldn't have said it better myself. You're bang on.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

@Van Hab: way to ruin shitting on the breezer...now i kind of feel bad.


...kind of.

Van Hab said...

@gate:

Don't feel bad! If anything, shit on him more! He's proven he can take it, maybe he actually likes it!

moeman said...

Go Pants!

Go Habs!!

Word verif = magwired

moeman said...

RDS' 'la ligue en question' is panelled by gaston 'ex-Nords loser', dave 'lunkhead' morrisette and norman ' scoobydoo' flynn. I hope someone at the CH HQ will add a new clause to any future contract with RDS.

bob said...

At least Komo can throw a decent hit once in a while to make up for us suckitude.

Something Breezer as never done in 999 games.

Carbo please let him play in Dallas, I don't want to applaud him on tuesday for is 1000th NHL game.

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - of all the word verifs we've had around here lately, that one is really killing me

moeman said...

@hf29, I'll put my hand on a Bible about that word verif.

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - i totally believe you, it's still killing me

alright let's rock 'n roll! big night for Carey tonight. bwahahahaha

if we lose this one, ritualistic suicide will be a serious option

HabsFan29 said...

"beau jeu de O'Byrne"

there's something i havent heard in a while

chris nilan said...

so is this game online somewhere?

HabsFan29 said...

@knuckles - besides the 2.99 RDS.ca option, im not sure

HabsFan29 said...

Price seems sharp? really?

HabsFan29 said...

was only a matter of time

HabsFan29 said...

meh

Ian Vitro said...

You can listen to the game at www.cjad.com, but watch, not so much.

As for the Breezer vs. Komi debate: better than shit is not necessarily good.

Oh god, Price. How is he tonite? Is Tanguay back in form or slow like BGL after along rest?

Word verif = forim. Almost dead-on for this blog.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Price looks sharp, had no chance on that goal - what were the penalty killers doing?!

Tanguay not noticeable yet, but that's okay. He was out for, what, 2 months? 3 months? It takes time to get back in the rhythm.

Oh, and Carbo has once again stunned me with his genius - Metropolit on a 5 on 3 (for us, that is). Is the right-handed shot THAT important? Hey Carbo, Tom the Bomb is also RH, why didn't you try him out there? We've never seen THAT before.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Oh, also - methinks the refs are paid by the penalty minute.

moeman said...

AK46 not noticeable either.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ moeman
True, but did you really expect him to be?

Oh hey, Price just made the sort of save he was making in November and December. Hopefully, he's coming round.

Ian Vitro said...

On CJAD it sounds like Price is putting on a bit of a show...

moeman said...

@SSHF, just being rhetorical. AK46 has completely disappeared.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

When did Rhino learn to fight?!!

HabsFan29 said...

man that PA announcer has gotta have a sore throat by now with these penalties

orangeman said...

Yeah, Price is putting on a show. I'll try to remember that as the Habs lose to yet another bottom feeder and fall out of playoff contention.

Word verification: Preds. Wrong southern waste of a franchise, computer!

HabsFan29 said...

ooo 5 shots in the period. i thought it was less

orangeman said...

As an aside,

I live in Asia and listening to the commercials for the food in Montreal is torture. I hate all of you who currently live in Montreal. Hate.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

If they included icings as shots, we'd outshoot our opponents every night!

kristin said...

I honestly though AK46 was not in the lineup until I saw him during the last 3 minutes of the second. Wow.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

The worst part is that no individual player is really outright sucking - the whole team is just uninspired. At least when Breezer is in the lineup we can blame losses on him...

Word verification: "herse", which is what awaits out playoff hopes.

HabsFan29 said...

well Friday Night Lights was decent. looks like i havent missed much in this pathetic display of hockey

HabsFan29 said...

sigh

orangeman said...

This is the team Bob believed could go all the way. The team that just lost 5-1 and then 2-0 when they had to win to stay in the playoffs.

Go Oil!

copyranter said...

Shutout by the worst defensive team with the worst penalty-killing and the worst home-ice record.

Mmmmmm worst, now I'm hungry.

Rips it, scores! said...

Price keeps the Habs in the game and they can't respond. Now what?

South Shore Habs Fan said...

I refuse to believe that this is the same team that led the NHL in scoring last year.

Word verification: "racke", as in "Ye olde Canadiens racke uppe another loss to a team competing for Jonathan Tavares"

olivier said...

Wow. Fascinating how bad they manage to be. Absolutely fascinating. Atlanta looked like the Red Wings out there; Enstrom looked like fucking Lidstrom.

Craptacular.

Too bad for Halak; dude catch the Flu, bam, TFS pulls a good game out of his ass. Poor Bratislava Bra...

My word is "Sagnest". Jaro eez dee Saghest of dem all...

HabScot said...

Well that wasn't exactly what I hoped for.

But I did get hit by a puck that came over the glass, so I now have a game puck.

My glass is half full.

wtf is a "remmestm"???

Holy Flannel said...

For weeks, angry fans have been calling for Carbo's head. All the while, I've remained loyal to the coach, refusing to believe that this team was losing because of him.

"It's just a lack of effort," I said to myself. "Every team goes through it. We have the talent, the hard work will come with time."

How is it that the Habs, night in and night out, get outworked and outshot (except tonight)? Other teams just play with so much passion in contrast to us. I don't get it. I have no more explanations . I'm slowly losing faith. I'm starting to have a change of heart.

There's something fundamentally wrong with this team. If things don't change, Carbo will have to go. Let Gainey fill in for the rest of the season. Everyone knows Gainey is a better coach (not based on his half season as coach, but on his hockey mentality).

Anything Carbo brings to the table because of his hard work as a player and his experience with the Habs organization, Gainey brings tenfold. He knows what it takes to win and he knows a thing or two about defensive play.

My word: "halyhori" as in, "What the halyhori is wrong with this team and can it be salvaged?"

orangeman said...

@Holy Flannel: You've got it. I just don't understand the lack of intensity of this team. After the Buffalo loss Carbo held a tough, long practice. Afterwards the players were all smiling and laughing during the interviews. Obviously one of two is going on;
a)Carbo's not working them hard enough or demanding enough out of them.

b)The team doesn't respect Carbo.

Either way, when I hear post game comments from a coach of a team that just got shut out by the Thrashers in a must win game say, "If we keep playing like this, good things will happen" (via TSN), I'm beyond worried. What universe does this guy live in? No wonder the players are shrugging after the game and joking about the heat. There is no reality check on this team. I mean, they're not going to make the playoffs and NO ONE seems concerned about it in the organization.

Anonymous said...

I hate it when les boys get shutout. They couldn't approach the goal let alone penetrate the zone. It took Little to score with Virgin Mary. Oh woe is Carey who protected her opening valiantly. In an attempt to avenge, Pleker drove forward but couldn't get it up even though Kari was thought to always LEhT ONE N at least. But in the end with Mary all alone, she was knocked up once more. And Carey Virgin Mary was no more.

In summary: Habs cockblocked themselves.